Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Pianist Corner Public Humiliation for a ringing cell phone owner at N YPhil

I'm not talking about penalties, I'm talking about the sudden rush of anger and the corresponding unwillingness to allow a suspected person any opportunity to explain. It's the same kind of mob response that led to a London paediatrician's house being vandalised a few years ago, because people were unable to stop and think about whether there might be other words beginning with 'paed-' than 'paedophile'.

We all put up with inconsiderate and careless behaviour from one another, all the time. Nobody, I feel sure, is guiltless in this respect -- certainly not me. But there's something about mobile phone irritation which seems to spark an irrational and disproportionate wrath.

I'd like to see some device similar to a walk-through metal detector, that would completely wipe the contents of a cellphone and render it useless, installed at the entrance of concert venues and movie theaters.

There are such devices... The ones that cancel any signal inside a certain area... I know because here in Greece some venues still use it, but it's unfrair and dangerous in all honesty. Can you imagine the 1 urgent situation that requires a cell phone and that not working (eg... your child is not well and the baby sitter is trying to call you... Can you really think that this does NOT require a cell phone and picking it up even if it means disrupting a recital? Although I'd do my best NOT to disrupt anything... )

Unfortunately, that is just the world people have created for themselves. I was able to get along just fine before cellphones existed. The obvious answer to that situation is to have an adult backup (like we used to do). If you are one those people who have not cultivated the adequate network to do this, stay home. I'm not concerned with anyone's cellphone dependency.

Damon, so extreme!
Can you imagine if a child or someone you care about, needed help while you were indulging in a Wagnerian extravaganza, and people could not reach you for several hours! In the meantime decisions about medical care had to be made without you. Sure, we lived without cell phones before, but why not embrace the technology and modulate its use. I always silence my phone and look at it only if it vibes, but very discretely. I have had occasionally to leave the concert hall for something that could not - and thankfully did not- wait.
As for invoking rape and abuse, that is really inappropriate and should not be discussed in the same thread.

I think that cell phones will remain an irritant until someone invents a remote silencing (not signal canceling) technology. This particular incident was egregious due to the duration of the ring, which apparently was an alarm. I really think that the phone owner was mortified and too self conscious to reach out to his device. The conductor reacted unusually due to the persistence of the nuisance.
The need to "educate" audiences is obvious but the effectiveness of available non-overreaching means is questionable. In some halls, the MC will make an announcement about cell phones (and hearing aids) and ask the audience to turn off their phones "now" then pauses for 30 seconds to drive the message home. I don't know if it works better than the pre-recorded or projected announcements to do so.


As for those who say that the offender was not "humiliated" enough, I wonder what else they would have done if they were there (Stores??).

"...Is the child rapist remorse[ful]? Sentenced, gone to jail and back in society? someone we just know was accused and not much else?..."

An interesting point; accusations (many fabricated) of child molestation are, if not a standard tactic in divorce and child custody cases, still a very common ruse of an angry ex, and are brought with an ulterior motive in mind. Consider Casey Anthony's child murder trial, where accusing the dad (and not very convincingly) of child rape was used as a get-out-of-jail-free card. One of my neighbors has written to the HOA Board three separate times accusing neighbors (twice) and the landscape management company (once) of child molestation; two of these shells were lobbed over a dispute about a parking space. And now it's become a PianoWorld punchline, made in reference to an inconsiderate concertgoer.

Be careful with this. We've become more aware in recent years, partly because of research studies, of how really serious this is for a young person. It is a serious mistake to trivialize it.

I think about it all the time, one of the disadvantages of being a parent I think. It is in that interest that I seldom indulge myself at all and when I do, it is for shorter duration. I make sure the people I care about are covered.



I agree and I'm glad you started a new paragraph albeit without the extra space. Thank Kevin for that.



I agree.

I agree 100%.


I am afraid that I cannot agree with you. Whatever the mortification of reaching to the phone and turning it off, the mortification of leaving it ringing would surely be far greater. At least for a normal person. If this person was actually aware that his phone was ringing, I do not think he could have felt mortified at all.

I am with Damon on this. If someone attends a concert or an opera, their cellphone should be TURNED OFF during the performance. Of course, the phone can be on in the interval(s).

Well david, your countryman Lebrecht has the answer for you. Check it out here : It is a combination of ignorance and mortification. Apparently the poor man's name is now known (he is a long term subscriber)!!!!

From "Slipped Disc":
Here’s the story (and you read it here first): they guy had just bought himself an i-phone. No longer in the first flush of youth, he was not quite sure how the darned thing worked but he knew his etiquette well enough to shut it off before the concert started.

What he did not shut off was a preset alarm. When it gave a marimba ring, he thought it must be someone else and looked around in irritation. Then he found it was him, and the conductor was glaring at him like a schoolboy who’d let off a stinkbomb. Mortified? Our guy didn;t know where to look.

He’s gone to ground, maybe Florida, and will never live down the shame.

I’m not going to be the one to disclose his name.

But it does make a case for concertgoers, especially the over-50s, to be asked to check in their phones with their coats. Right?

You know you have a slow news day when this stupid story turned up in the local news update at 10:00 AM. Is it even newsworthy??

Are you a parent Damon? (I think not from the reads of it)...

I'll tell you a couple of stories...

1. I was in Tescos with both my sons, aged then 1 and 3. The 3 year old could walk (of course he could) and could run around. I could NOT put both children on the cart, so I had the 1 year old on and the other one with me, who was already talking and making decisions on his own.

You can imagine the terror of loosing sight of him for just 30 secs?!?!? Can you?!? (this is all based to the assumption that you are not a parent, right?). I was terrified. I started calling for him and got no reply. I looked to the one corridor and the next and no reply. Then I reached for my bag as an instinct (to call his mother? She was at work), and there he was behind my bag...

but the terror of loosing my son was almost too much.

2. Still in the UK, with a cell phone when it rang. I was at home, so no problem there really. It's my mother and she had a scary tone: My father was in the hospital. So I packed my things, got a ticket in easyjet (VERY expensive if you book the last instance) and got into the plane.

My father is still fine, but it was scary.

In the drive to the airport (Gatwick: had to take a cab to South Ealing Station head over center and grab the Gatwick express), I managed, after quite a few attempts to locate both the nursery, where my children were kept (that was the easy part and they were very understanding), and my wife (that was the hard part, since she kinda disregards the existance of HER cell phone).

I think that it's obvious that in some cases a cell phone IS needed and in some cases it IS helpful. Playing games on a phone is not a necessity, ringing out loud is not a necessity when in concert, logging in PianoWorld every 2 minutes in your smart phone is almost a necessity (... ) but I think you get the picture.

___________________

Still, the guy in question was awful:

1. Turn the bloody thing off once you hear it ringing. You can silence it later on, see what it's about and text the ringer back.
2. Have the damn thing turned off before the concert. It's common sense, and even if you're forgetful, you are bound to get a warning from somewhere, unless you're already dreaming...
3. Say you're sorry if the actual concert stops for your shake! Don't nod your head like you lost your voice. Your cell phone was loud enough, you can't be the same?

It seems appropriate enough to me -- I was simply highlighting situations where people are inclined to be viciously judgemental without being in full possession of the facts. Nobody knows why the fellow in the OP did not switch off his phone, or could not silence it when it went off. Maybe it was a new phone and he didn't recognize the ring-tone, thinking it was somebody else's. Maybe he thought he'd left it at work, but one of his colleagues had helpfully slipped it into his coat pocket.

We don't know -- but nobody asked. There's was just an immediate and relentless leap to judgement. This kind of attitude is normally engendered only by people who get accused of vicious and abhorrent crimes. Hence my analogy.

Have the ushers collect all cell phones as patrons are being led to their seats. They can be returned after the concert.

(Well, I can dream, anyway.)

Never mind.

I thought that emboldened sentence kind of established that I am a parent. I've also experienced the horror of my son slipping my sight at a busy amusement park. An extremely nauseating 15 minutes of my life. My phone was no help (and I don't turn it off for amusement parks)

Ok... Sorry... didn't get it... Again sorry about that...

Damon,
You deserved a new paragraph but not a space because you responded to Kevin's comment.
Also I still do not get how you can have things "covered". Sure an adult could be in charge but wouldn't you rather get a (vibe) call or text and get the heck out of there if need be, the conductor non-withstanding? If I could not be reached during concerts, I would definitely not go as frequently as I do now.

Kevin, we know why he could not turn it off. See my last response. As always, it was a complicated situation: the "human" factor does not always fit pre-set patterns.

Here in the sticks, we call it family. I don't feel a pressing need to be available 24/7 and consider it one of the evils of modern technology that I'm expected to be.

Apologies! That was unintended, I mismanaged the quote. I have edited the post.