Hi Quolibet,

I am not an active member here. Just read your post by chance, and I want to share my experience.

I just started taking lessons in September 2011 after 20+ years of break. Right in the beginning, my wonderful piano teacher told me about the "adult recital", very similar to what you had. He encouraged me to participate but I only had 6 weeks to prepare. I was studying Rachmaninoff Prelude Op23-4. This was a brand new piece for me, and it immediately added lots of stress to my already overwhelming life. I really loved this piece so I decided to give it a shot. I negotiated with my teacher that I did not have to memorize the music, which he gladly agreed.

There were 7 of us at the recital, and he put me on #5. I was so nervous even though I practiced this piece again and again. There were a few measures that just kept giving me troubles. When the first person started playing, I immediately felt much better because I realized EVERYONE was nervous, not just me. After his far-from-perfect performace, people were still cheering. My teacher actually asked everyone for feedback and how he was feeling. It was a very supporting environment.

The person before me (#4) had a very rough performance. He was completely lost and almost had to stop in the middle of the piece. It was a little awkward and painful to watch, but after he was done, people still applauded and supported him. He promised that next time he will do so much better! The point I want to make here is: Bad performance happens to everyone!!

When it was my turn, I spent 30 seconds introducing myself, telling everyone I just re-started lessons so don't expect too much from me. I sat down, took a deep breath and started playing. It was not perfect, but it was not bad either. I definitely could have a little better but I gave myself B+. After I finished, people were raving and very excited for me. People did not believe I could put it together in just 6 weeks after 20+ years of break. My teacher told everyone that I have come such a long way in just 6 weeks. He said that he could not tell I was nervous at all, which he was SO wrong. At least I felt my hard work was paid off somehow.

I am now practicing and getting ready for the "spring recital". This time my teacher wants me to play "Beethoven Tempest Sonata - all 3 movements". Not sure if I can manage it but I will do my best.

Here are my suggestions:

1. Never give up.

2. Select a piece you are most comfortable with, and definitely something you enjoy playing. I can not see myself practicing again and again for a piece I don't fall in love with.

3. When in doubt, avoid performing a piece with very fast tempo. When we are nervous, we tend to speed it up so it can get out of control easily.

4. Don't feel that you are "performing", just think you are "sharing what you have learned to people around you". I think that's helpful.

5. Having music in front of me helps me a lot. Not sure if that's the case for everyone else.


Sorry for the long posting. Enjoy playing!

I am really appreciating reading all these stories. Makes me think that a difficult recital is practically a universal experience.

Midlife, I had to check your location to see if you lived in my city. Your experience sounded so similar to mine, I was wondering if maybe you were actually one of my teacher's students. (But no, we are thousands of miles apart.)

I discovered today that I can actually play the first page of the Bach piece with my eyes closed. And not all that badly--no missed notes or slip-ups, anyway. This was encouraging somehow, to know that really I do know the piece and perhaps could perform it next time (without having to look up at my music or the sea of faces in the room).

I'm looking forward to my lesson tomorrow, to have the chance to discuss the experience with my teacher. I'm hoping he will have some concrete suggestions about how to practice a piece with the goal of performance in mind. I am realizing--thanks to many of these great replies--that practicing for performance and practicing for oneself (and one's teacher) are different tasks.

It's funny...all the people who went before me--even the advanced students who I thought played very well--included nervous chatter in their performances. Things like, "Oh, shoot. I always mess that up." And apologies during the piece when they missed notes: "I'm so sorry, guys." Which I found so unnecessary and in fact made the errors seem even more obvious. So one of my goals for next time is to refrain from such comments (if I can help it!), since it pains me to hear others berate themselves and apologize for imperfect performances. We adults can be so unkind and unforgiving to ourselves!

Difficult recitals are a requirement. Can't opt out of them.

Remember...It's not a performance. It's an experience. Go out with the intention of sharing your experience at the piano. Trying to perform? That's more like your ego putting on a false face. With comments like: "oh darn" ...my false face fell off. Get the idea?

I had the pleasure of having my first recital implosion recorded for posterity! The sad part is that it also happened again during my second recital. I'm looking forward to my third recital.....I figure that every bad recital gets me one closer to that perfect recital that must exist somewhere in my future!

I'm sorry you had a performance you feel so bad about. If you've learned anything from the responses of your fellow forum members, it's that most of us have had bad experiences. I want nothing more than to play beautifully for others, but as soon as I sit down my hands start to shake and I'm so nervous I forget everything. Just keep playing for people as much as possible and it will get better. At least that's what I tell myself.

I wrote about this topic today--about accepting where you are in your piano studies--understanding your limitations, and still hanging in there to improve. It's something we all grapple with at very level of playing. I find that to help nerves, videotaping oneself regularly, and then watching back is very instructive.. Lots of students already freeze up the minute I click capture on my iMac.. but these students, young and old ultimately learn to work through their jitters, by constant exposures to this situation. By learning relaxation and breathing techniques, using mental imagery.. etc. There are many autogenic, de-sensitizing type activities.

music32,
Thanks for the link. It is good to know that nearly everyone struggles with this. (Perhaps except, as my teacher put it yesterday, pianists "with an ego the size of a house.")

I had a great lesson yesterday. We discussed all the issues around my playing at the seminar--both emotional and physical. We talked about body mechanics and about the ways my body tenses up when I make a mistake or am anticipating one. And, even better (for my spirits, anyway), I played the Bach for him--not perfectly, but certainly better than at the seminar--and he said it sounded good and that I should be happy with it, musically-speaking. And now I get to move on to other challenges. (Schubert! A composer I have really wanted to play.)

Oh, and my teacher also recommends videotaping oneself too. I think that will definitely help me.

Hi! I have the same problem as you and in my case anyway its not something per se related to the piano but its about some degree of social anxiety disorder that also manifests when playing for audience. In my experience there is no quick fix to this. My advice is this. Play only pieces you know very well and expose gradually to an increasing number of people. Your anxiety wont go over night and the key of improving is to concentrate on the small leaps of faith you make in progress rather than to concentrate on the anxiety that while in smaller degree will still go along. These kind of problems take a very long journey to fix...

This is a great idea, something I think has helped me (though I've only posted two videos so far). Record yourself playing and post it on youtube. Allow yourself as many takes as necessary to get it right before you post it. If memory serves, my first solo took 75 takes before I was satisfied with it LOL! I actually got those same performance nerves performing at home alone in front of a camera (though not nearly as bad as at the live recitals, of course). Good piano practice, and good performance practice; plus, you get to share your performance with as few or as many people as you want in a much less intimidating way.

When you anticipate a trouble spot you will have trouble with that spot. What I mean is you have, in your head, a picture of what you are doing wrong. If that's all you have then that's all you can play. That anticipation turns into anxiety when you're playing to the expectations of an audience. You're lost, you don't have a clear vision of what needs to get done and you screw up. You have to know exactly what you're doing. Easier said than done.

Sometimes you don't know what you don't know until you screwup. One time I was playing BWV1000 for guitar at recital in school and of course, it's a fugue,
right? Pretty sure you can guess what hapened. There's this section in the beginning which is similiar to a section at the end. I freaked out when I got there for the first time. I had no idea where I was in the piece. I froze and stopped. After what seemed like a whole minute I restarted the piece, prayed I would make it past and luckily finished the piece. After the recital me and my friends went and got drunk.

Anyway over the next few weeks I went over the piece with a fine toothed comb. Right down to memorizing every measure, not in sequence, but backwards. At the end of it you pick a section by number and ask me to play it and I could rip it out without consulting the music.

Keep doing it.

I know how it's like though. If I want to record myself or play in front of others, my playing skills decrease enormously. I hate it. I can't concentrate properly when I play and people are near. While I can play a certain piece flawlessly when I am alone, I will derail very quickly when I know someone is around. There is no focus, you want to play it perfectly etc. etc.

I always need a little bit of validation from others, but it's important that you just enjoy yourself and are proud of the things you achieved. It's not easy.

It's a rite of passage. lol

Can you believe I am going to take performance class for adults next month. So, I am basically voluntarily putting myself in this position. YIKES! But I feel like it needs to be done. I'd like to do more than play piano in my living room and this seems like a logical step. The class is like a recital but in a casual setting and people give you pointers etc. But I still get the EEEEK feeling when I think about it. ha ha