Of course, with young families, there are likely to be younger siblings around who are noisy, right? Yesterday, at my student recital, there was a toddler who made noises the entire time. Every time, the mother would say SSSHHHHHH! It was distracting ME, as I turned pages, much less my students who were trying to play! I shot several glances to the family, and one time they took the toddler out, but she returned, followed by more SSSSHHHHHHs!

Some parents had the attitude of "Oh well, that Happens", but others, I've heard through the grapevine, were upset by it. Do I ask the family to not bring the toddler back? It was fascinating how clueless this family was. No apologies, no mention of it later. Is this really acceptable behavior?

Funny, 6 years of recitals and this has only happened one other time.

Otherwise, the recital was great!

The best way to deal with this is to ask everybody to be quiet before the recital starts because you want to hear everybody playing. "If you need to use the washroom, you may quietly exit but try to return to your seat during a break in the program." Now you've set the tone for the show.

Another way to avoid the problem is to ask the family beforehand whether they think their younger children can sit still for an hour. I don't think a program should be any longer than an hour.

How long was your recital?

Hi Carol,

Yes, I would tell this family not to bring the toddler to recitals. I think they should be told specifically since they are a bit clueless.

At the start of the recital, I make announcement about being quiet and turning off cell phones. Then I go on to say (slowly and carefully) "Let's show respect for each performer by being careful not to make any noise or do anything distracting during the performances".

At least it's letting parents/kids know what you expect.

I like it!

I kind of take a different take on the distractions in a recital thing. I'll prepare my students for the audience member who has a coughing fit at a quiet moment or decides they need to get a candy or cough drop out of the wrapper in the noisiest way possible. Or children might start crying, music goes flying off the stand, etc. I'll list a bunch of things, then I'll have them play and I tell them I'm going to do things that may distract them, but they have to keep focused and playing no matter what. It's fun during the lesson to do that, and they often crack up laughing after they've finished. I think it's good to prepare them for things not being perfect, and how to deal with that.

Having said that, I would suggest that while you love little ones to hear music and see their siblings perform, from how distracted the child was at the last recital you're not sure he's able to even pay attention to what is going on. Politely request that they make arrangements for the toddler to be taken care of during the recital and that when he's able to sit quietly for an hour, he is more than welcome to come and listen.

Good idea, to prepare for distractions. And, I think I will get my nerve up to talk to the mom about bringing the toddler.

Thanks.

That is a good question. I think 45 minutes is better than an hour. If you don't take an intermission, then 45 minutes is the longest I dare make my students sit continuously for a recital.

I went to a festival in which each program was 1 hour 40 minutes long. And there were no breaks within each program. As much as I love music, my head started hurting. I can't imagine what the judges' writing hand felt like at the end of the day.

I try to prepare my students for playing through distractions as well. But I would also agree with everyone about making the announcement at the beginning of the recital. It is very common in many situations for parents of young children to be asked to take noisy children out of the room, so making it a general announcement will probably be less likely to offend the parents. If it still doesn't get through to the parents, then I would talk to them personally.

I'm with Morodiene - my students could play through a hurricane and not bat an eye. Really...most of them are used to practicing with family life noises at home. The majority of my students are young and this means they come to recitals with siblings. I've had to adjust my recital atmosphere and expectations accordingly as, if I want them to participate, it means I need to accommodate their family. As a mom myself, I know it can be hard for little ones to sit still and be quiet...and taking them out of the room often means you miss seeing the child you were there to watch! At our recital we have an area at the back with coloring pages and some quiet toys. Parents get the point that the little ones should congregate back there. Obviously there is a bit of background noise, but I remember as a performer myself that there was nothing more terrifying than expectant silence so I'm okay with it I suppose it depends on your clientele as to the atmosphere of the recital that you want to create/strive for.

Buy a fog horn. Boat horn. Truck horn. When you get enough interruption's, turn around slowly, and blare the devil out of the thing. That'll not only scare the crap of everyone, annoying the whole crowd back but, it'll wake up the sleepers too and now you've got everyone's attention once again. Every time that person begins acting up, slowly turn around with it in hand again..........

That reminds me of attending a Blue Man Group performance. Someone comes in late (I'm sure it was planned) and the show stops, music starts with lyrics "You're Late! You're Late! You're Late!" and lights flash in circles and a spotlight shines on the latecomer. It was very funny!

I had a teacher that would STOP EVERYTHING and just GLARE at the offending party. If they didn't get the hint after having the whole room staring at them, the teach would say "We will continue as soon as EVERYONE is quiet.".

Love her!

I love that! Can I tell a story too? One time, at the college we service for, my dad opened up the door that led to the main auditorium where the concerts were performed. He heard someone playing the Steinway D on the stage. He opened it just enough to see who it was. He closed the door and said, hey, I know her! I haven't seen her in years. I should say hi to her. Naaa, she's practicing, I probably shouldn't bother her. But, I sure would like to say hi. I said, oh dad, what the heck, when's the last time you saw her? Oh, 10 years or so. Well? Why not, just say hi, I know her too and she'll be okay with that so, just that fast he said, OK! He swung the door opened and hollered HEY!!!! Just then, he looked around in the auditorium only to see that she was actually giving a concert and it was full of people!!!!! I busted up laughing. He closed the door as fast as he could get it shut and said, that's it! We're done for the day. Let's get the H*** out of here before any recognizes me!!!!!!! I laughed even harder yet and said, dad, probably everyone in that auditorium recognized you. I don't care, come on! Let's go! He couldn't get out of there fast enough and I could barely walk I was laughing so hard but, you know what? She never skipped a beat and she never said a word to him about it. In fact, nobody did. They all knew full well that we normally, would NEVER do such a thing.

After my dad died, I mentioned it to a few people. One of them said, you know, I remember that!!!! That was your dad!!! Uh huh! He'd kill you if he knew you told on him. I giggled and said, yeah, he sure would...

LOL!! That's hilarious!! And she must have learned how to play through all sorts of disturbances growing up

I can only imagine that it must have scared the crap out of her because he literally hollered it. Everyone that I saw was staring straight at my dad too.

She was a good pianist that's for sure! She loved giving concerts. The thing too, is that this is a Christian college! you can't talk like that here, I said to my dad. He said, I don't care, and he repeated it. Which of course, for me, just made it that much funnier. I just didn't say it twice above....

I still laugh when I think about it. Up until the day he died, 5 years ago, every now and then, I would remind him of that. He said to me Jer, you're never going to let me live that one down are you. I said, are you kidding???? I'd never miss an opportunity like that, any more than you would! He laughed and said, you know, you're right!

What a funny story!

Not exactly on topic, but related, perhaps:

When I was at most a teen, we went to a concert of the local orchestra in Fort Lauderdale that was, at that time, absolutely horrible.

They played Bolero. Well, the soloists absolutely mangled their parts. You know how it has the same theme, over and over and over and over and OVER? Well, if it is played magnificently, it is very effective. But if you don't have top players, it's like watching people on a high-wire act fall off, one by one, only the only pain is to the ego.

I couldn't contain myself. I started laughing, TRYING to stifle myself, but honestly, it was ghastly. My mother wanted to kill me, but she couldn't HEAR it.

Another time there was a performance at FSU of some oratorio. I forget the name. I can only remember that there was a wannabe tenor who had a vibrato that sounded just like a sheep bleating, and he had a shepherd's crook. But to make things worse, he wasn't really a tenor and could not hit the high notes. He cracked notes all over the place.

Half the people in the audience were hiding behind the seats in front of them, and that included not only students but some faculty members. About 15 years ago I had a hernia operation.

I think I got the hernia from that performance.

That reminds me of another one. I attended with my wife, brother in law and his wife, a talent show many years ago. People of various ages would come onto the stage, play the piano, sing, whatever they thought they had a talent in. It was held at one of the local churches that had an auditorium that seats, I think,, 2,000 people.

After several performances, some good, some not so good, this guy walks out onto stage. He reminded me of a hippy with his long hair. Anyway, it took him a good two minutes to set up his audio equipment on a box on stage and finally get to playing. After he was done, he forgot to unplug his guitar.

As he walked off stage, many of us watched with GREAT anticipation as he very, very slowly pulled the audio equipment off from the boxes as he walked away. It was set up about 2 feet high or so, maybe 3'. With anxiousness everywhere, we finally saw if fall. BAM!!!!!! it went crashing down onto the stage floor. I had all I could do to contain myself before then, let alone after it hit the stage but, I managed, if you can believe that!

All of a sudden, my brother in law, who was sitting on the far opposite side of the isle, starting giggling. Well, that's all it took. I couldn't stand it anymore. I started laughing but, as silent as I could, however, I was leaning forward with one of those hold your breath laughing so hard laughs that you can't breathe? The person in front of me, heard me, looked back at me because he was trying his hardest not to laugh too and just busted out laughing. Next thing, about 25 people all around us were laughing too, probably because we were laughing so hard, faces red, tears running down our faces, our wives jabbing us in the ribs trying to hush us up, we just couldn't help ourselves! About 5 minutes went by before the performer finally came back on stage again to retrieve his stuff. I never saw anyone grab his things so quickly and high tail it for the hills. Poor guy but, dang, stuff like that just makes me laugh so hard!

These stories are cracking me up! I'll be sure to practice for interruptions in the future. Thanks for the funny stories.