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I almost got myself too. OK, I did get myself too!

A piano technician has to be prepared for everything

These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.

ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
A grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:

Something other people have,

Similar to my character lines.

On a diet....

Too Funny!

My Favorite Animal



Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I

wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.



I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.



I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the

principal's office.



I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.



The next day n class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you
could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like
it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.I told her,

" Colonel Sanders."



Guess where I am now...

That is fricken hilarious Buzz! Funnnnnnny!

My printer's not working today

Wow!! This thread is still alive.

Yap, it shore izzzzzzzzzz.

Speaking of "shore."

baaahahahahhahahahaha!!!

Just in case you were all wondering, I haven't disappeared, but this "girl/model" most certainly has!
Someone . . . give this girl a hamburger!!!!!!

[video:youtube]http://www.youtube.com/http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wWn184Xv2mQ[/video]

Okay, I escaped WINTER and visited the TROPICS! Yes I did! I should have let you all know before I left, but I'm back. With a TAN! . . . and not the regular FROST BITE we get this time of year!!!!! White sand instead of White snow! Nice eh!!!

FREE unassembled snowman, SOME ASSEMBLING REQUIRED!!!!!

Oh NO - We might get snow this week

Four Moms in therapy


A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four
young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he
observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again,
it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too
shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her
little boy by the hand, and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has
no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Peter and Willy from
school and go get dinner.