... like how to keep a straight face.
Student has been playing Minuet in G (simplified from John Thompson's First Classics). I'm thinking it's not going to get better, so we might as well put it to bed. Student says she plans to play it as the funeral. Well, I hadn't heard about the upcoming funeral of her great-grandfather, and being also a friend of her mum's, I pass on my condolences. It's OK, she says, he was really old and it's actually a blessing that he's finally died, because he'd been in a care home, quite senile, and his life wasn't really worth living. Of course, they'd all cried when they heard about it on the phone, but now everyone was OK about it.
Nevertheless, I said, I was sorry to hear that he had died. As for the funeral, if she does have a chance to play for relatives, I suggested Dvorak's largo, which is easier than the minuet, having no quavers, and she might be nervous, it being the funeral, and all that. Now, I could tell she could see the point in what I was saying, but she'd just not in love with Largo. You see, she
likes quavers.
I know, she pipes up, I'll play the can-can!

Now that would be a funeral the minister won't forget in a hurry.