Me: We have an 'f' here, f for ... [waits for student but no response] forte, so we are going to play this bit ... [waits again] loud.

Student: My dad's forty.

hilarious

Any other gems come to mind?

*mopping up keyboard*

Well this was during a music class as opposed to a piano session but I playing a game with 11 students which required partners....so I had to be the twelfth person[ usually I would be playing the piano]....so after a variety of explanations on the topic of 'odd & even' I asked if the youngsters [ about 4 yrs old] understood what odd and even were...one child said yes ' the first people on earth'.... that's one for the books.

rada

A six year old, today, knocked her music book off the stand, and before it hit the floor, she exclaimed in her Aussie accent: "Bugga"!

At the end of the lesson, she stuck a big sticker on my chest, saying:

"That's for being a great teacher"

Priceless

too funny!

My dad had a spare cow hide rug (yep, a spare) that he gave me and I put it in the piano room. It really ties the room together (movie reference, anyone?). Okay, anyways...all of my students, including my adults, said something about it when they came to the next lesson. Majority liked it.

One of my young girls (she's 7 ) walked in and yelled, "WHAT IS THAT?!" I said "it's my cow rug."

"What is it doing here?!"
"My dad gave it to me, I like it."
"well I don't, that's just wrong. I mean, it's a cow. That's so wrong."
The whole lesson she kept looking back telling me how "wrong" my rug is and she couldn't believe I had it.

The next week she comes in, "You still have that?! That's just wrong."

She got over it by the third week and now insists we sit on the cow when we work on theory.

It's so funny that the kids will notice any change made to the piano room and want to talk about it the whole lesson.

The Dude abides.

When I was a piano teacher I asked one student to write down notes during the lesson. Once he asked me how many hours of practice per day would be expected for an amateur pianist to become reasonably proficient.

I replied "three or four hours per day"

He wrote: "three awful hours per day"

When I was teaching at a music school in 2010, I got a new student (boy) who was 4 (almost 5). During one of the first few lessons, I asked him if there was a favorite tune he would like to learn on the piano. Most kids will request "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, "Mary Had a Little Lamb, etc. The 4 1/2 looks at me in all seriousness and says, "We Will, We Will, Rock You." -He said it though, more like "We Will, We Will, Wock You." I immediately burst out laughing... totally unexpected from a 4 year old! His Mom was sitting there and laughing too.

That's a curiously appropriate tune for a beginner!

These are great!

Today my 11 year old who I think should be beyond these hilarious things said something funny at his piano lesson. Last week he went to a piano camp where he was working on duets and a Mozart Sonata and a Mendelssohn song without words in a master class daily. He had 5 hours of class a day and it was pretty intense.

He went back to regular lesson today and his teacher was super excited to talk to him. He asked what the most exciting thing that happened at camp was. My 11 year old said the best thing was he bought some highlighter tape at the camp store. His teacher uses it on music and wow, now we can use it at home! Sure glad we sent him to camp for that.

You can rest assured your money was well-spent.

A few weeks ago I was going over a new piece with a beginner student. The song ended with a C Major triad in the left hand. I explained to the 7 year old girl that she would have to play all 3 notes at the same time. She looked at me and said, "Really? Cool!"

Bet it sounded cool too!

it's not too hard. FEDCDD with with some combo of a G and and F chord in the left hand.. even one note repeated in rhythm.

This morning, I was introducing a new piece to an 8 year old boy. I was pointing out that even though it was in the key of C there were lots of accidentals to watch out for. As I often do, I decided to test his knowledge/recall and asked him to define the term "accidental."

His response: That's when you play the wrong note by accident.

ha ha! Course, when I play wrong, it's normally on purpose.

Right in the middle of her lesson, a six-year-old student of mine interrupted me and asked me, "Do you ever just play the piano for fun?" "Almost every day!" I cheerfully replied, practically biting my tongue to keep myself from saying something like, "Well, 'for fun' is pretty much the only reason I play the piano!"

A few months later, another student who was near the end of Bastian level 1 really wanted to learn "Pink Clouds", which is the first song in Bastian level 4 - her brother had recently played it, and she really liked the song. After examining the song and realizing that is was not technically difficult, and that she was already familiar with the theory in the piece (i.e. 6/8, notes at the upper end of treble clef, etc. - she also plays the harp and the violin) I gave my consent, discussed the problem spots of the song and what might be hard for her, and casually mentioned that it might be a great piece for the recital coming up in two months. I asked her if she had any questions about it, and she perked up and said, "Oh, can you make the same punch as last year?"

... and can you? It has to be exactly the same!

2 quarts orange juice + 2 liters Sprite. The kids drink it all every year! (Last year I had to make two batches. They hated the carrot cake, though.) I have a sneaking suspicion that they like the party more than the recital ...

Psh. Who wouldn't?

I usually make brownies. Easier than cake.

I asked a student today what key the piece was in that she just played. She correctly answered A minor. I asked her how she knew, and she said well, the key signature... "It's the cousin to C.... I mean the relative."

today a 5 year old arrived to his lesson, got close to me, looked me straight in the eyes and announced, LOUDLY,....''

HONEST TO GOD I PRACTICED THIS WEEK REALLY I DID REALLY REALLY!!!!!

Ha! Is that when you put away your whip?

So the same student whose dad is 40, said to me last lesson:

"Oh, I like this tune so much, it's really, really cool!"

I introduced "Etude in C" and the 8 year old said "Don't you mean Ay-titude?" I had to laugh because this is the kid who has a major dose of "attitude". I told her that no, this one is 'etude' but she could compose her own piece and call it Ettitude.

I had a 7 year old this week tell me that she misses her little toy keyboard. (I had required a piano when she started lessons, and they gave away the toy keyboard.) She said "I could take it with me, and then flip it over and do my homework on the back."

I spent the majority of my lesson yesterday with one of my chronic-no practicers just talking about the value of practicing and making it a priority. This was followed by lots of excuses about how busy she was all the time and how she has soooo much homework, etc.

We continued our lesson, then at the end when she was packing up, she said, "Do you give guitar lessons too? I would love to learn how to play the guitar. That would give me something to do during my spare time."

LOL!

I had a 14 year old pupil ask me 'what do the little elephants under the bass notes mean?'

Baffled, I asked her to point to what she was talking about. This turned out to be the pedal marking 'Ped' which was in the lovely curly italics, this apparantly made it look like little elephants to her!

Unfortunelty, that's all I see now when I look at it!

Students says:
"Treble/Bass Clef is like a game of tag. If you're not on Bass you're in Treble!(sounds like trouble)"

Same student told me that her mom cleaned her ears so she was going to do very well at her ear-training that lesson.

She's a funny one!

Today, I was teaching a 10yr old girl:

"When I'm 36, I'm going to invent something!" she says.

"Oh yeah? What's that, then?"

"A piano stool with a built in toilet!" she says, proudly.

"O...kay - why's that, then?" I ask.

"So that when you're practising the piano, you don't have to get up and go to the loo!" she explains.

A few minutes later..

"I wish I had a time machine."

"Why?"

"So I can travel into the future, to when I've invented my piano stool."

"Do you need the toilet, or something?"

"Er...yes!"

Too funny!

Here's my studio funny for the week:

5 year old boy at his lesson today, learning a Christmas carol, played it, looked up at the ceiling and said, "wow I can't believe I did that. It must have been God!"

Hilarious!!!!

and maybe it was!

"Why didn't you give me any theory last week?"

. I just came across this thread and having the time of my life reading all of these funny stories! I nearly lost it when I read the explanation of what an accidental is. I'm an adult student, and I guess I'm going to need to brush up on my music theory again!

Thanks for sharing these wonderful stories. I'll be back for more enjoyment here!

ME: Did you practice what I told you to?
Student: Yes I did, But I did not count!

Nearly died of laughing!

These are so funny! I look forward to checking in to this thread.

My latest was last week, on Wednesday early evening:

Student arrived to her lesson and said, "My mom may be a few minutes late picking me up, she is sitting in a bar".

I was once teaching my student melodic seconds. When I asked "does this second move up or down?", he thought about it very carefully and after a moment, loudly announced "Yes." I thought my husband and son sitting in the nearby dining room and overhearing my lesson were going to fall off their chairs. So funny.

I have a few stories backwords: Recently I started teaching a student in my home. There isn't a piano studio anywhere in the home, so the grand piano is sitting in my living room more or less.

So when my student, and her father, is here my kids are roaming the house. You need to remember that my wife (and their mother of course) is not here in Greece at the moment, so there's a lady coming in to help, and she's keeping the kids more or less...

More or less is pretty accurate though, since the kids do decide to offer their insight on my students playing, walking on her back and some times going on like "Dad, will you be done soon?". Thankfully student and father are both VERY understanding and think that this is funny...

We were getting along famously ... and introducing Haydn ...
my 6-year old wanted to know why he wanted to hide.

Haydn - funny!

Nikolas, I have a similar situation. Sort of relies on everyone being reasonable and understanding.

Me: so if we make a mistake, what do we do?

Student says nothing.

Me: We just keep on going, play the very next note.

Student: We were doing a Highland dance show, and my friend's skirt fell down, and she had to just keep dancing. She was wearing tights, so it was OK. Her tights were purple with spots, and you could *just* see her pants through them.

Good lesson! The show must go on!

absolutely!

I was teaching, "We wish you a Merry Christmas" to a seven year old boy today. I asked him what the words "good tidings" meant. He eagerly answered, "I know it. It means cleaning, like clothes."

So Tide has another happy customer in his mother.

OK, I had to look that one up. I get it now.

lol.... The confusion of international communications!
I had to think about what you had to look up.
I bet you've got Tide where you are too, but it has a different name.

First I thought it was So Tide. Anyway, the meaning is clear 'We bring fresh laundry to you and your kin.'

Incidentally, my friend, with young children, commented that this was her kids' favourite song. Why? Because they got to ask for figgy pudding without saying "please" (which, as we all know, is very rude), and they also got to say 'we won't go!' without getting into trouble.

Or he has seen advertisements on TV. My son used to give me advice at that age, suggesting a product he'd seen on TV. He was the helpful problem solver sharing his expertise gained from commercials: "You should put Febreze on that." etc. LOL!

Autistic student's 4th lesson-

I turn to a new page. She sees the note "E" being introduced at the bottom of the page. She asks, "Is E fun?!"

My reply, "Of course! Even more fun than C, D and B! Are you excited to learn about E?"

Student, "Yes!" as she nods her head vigorously.

I love working with her!

My son always thought they looked like sheep. And that's all I see now ...

Just wait till she gets to F!

Not a music story; I was administering a language test to a 4.5 year old:

Me: A person who works on a farm is called a farmer.
What do you call a person who teaches?

Kid: A superhero!

1.After noticing that my student was drawing crooked barlines I tell her "Please use the ruler" Student then asks me "How many inches?"

2. I had young boy who pronouced treble clef as tremble clef!

3. Another young boy who told me (face lighting up) that now he understands why a whole note is called that. It is because it has a hole in it!

4.Violin student who thought the book I was recommending was called "Awful Strings"
(All For Strings)

5.Another young boy just last week pronounced the Schaum piano method as the "Scum piano method"

My eyes are starting to twitch!I think I need therapy!

I often hear about the tripple clef.

Not a piano student, but I had a little girl (probably 6 or 7) taking guitar lessons years ago. She still hadn't mastered getting a nice sustained sound yet, but none the less was making decent progress.
One day after playing through some song (I don't remember what) she proclaimed that it sounded like Bach.
I was quite shocked at this!
"It sounds like Bach?" I asked. "Yes it really does!" she replied.
"Hmmm what makes you say that? What is it that makes it sound like Bach?"
"Just the sound.....like a chicken...bock bock bock"

that is too cute