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Why would anyone take a student like this in the first place? Forget personalizing a studio contract. Just dump the guy.

Sounds like this adult student will bring nothing but grief and headache.

EZP, extreme doesn't even begin to describe it. It looks like you have to tell him things that should be common sense and good manners.

If he talks about these things during lessons, then all he does is ruin his own lesson. I hope you end the lesson when time is up and have him leave rather than taking up your time afterward. What happens outside lessons eats up your private time. Maybe you should restrict communication to only e-mails, because you can read these any time you want. The telephone and texting both demand you respond at the time he contacts you. Why not cut these out immediately since he is misusing them.

So he's left with e-mail messages. Content should be restricted to emergencies like if he can't make it to a lesson, or if you welcome questions about assignments and music things you are teaching. Maybe you want to say that e-mails with non-pertinent (personal) information will be binned unread.

It is not impolite not to respond.


Is even that necessary? He can ask you about the book at his next lesson, during his lesson time, or e-mail you about it later. If you were his personal available consultant then you should be charging for your time between lessons. There are actually jobs like that.


If you don't respond, then he can't present any information.

After three Pages of rhetoric, are we not back to this?

The more you add ezpiano, the more I agree with AZNpiano.

There is a difference between serious and... whatever this may be. You may be better off without him.

Here is the difference, Ed:

You made a general statement about the nature of the kind of behaviour that you surmised e-mails engender, and sought to create a one-size-fits-all rule for all teachers and all occasions at all times. You have a predisposed antipathy to the electronic medium, and tend to fit your solutions to those predispositions.

I asked for more information and after getting a picture that was clear enough for me, proposed solutions to fit the existing situation.

You will notice that I also proposed that communication occur exclusively in the studio during lesson times (the "during" is important), and by e-mail. You would have cut out the e-mail. In this situation both the telephone and texting should be cut out, because both of these media hand control of time use to the student.

** I excluded the self-quote because that post context of the original post gives meaning to the quoted part.

I suggested that outside studio, e-mail be the ONLY form of communication, and that both telephone and texting be done away with.

Did you miss that part when you read my post? Did you read my reasoning? Or were you looking for parts of my advice that might match yours? I hope you're not skimming content, because some of us put a lot of time into our posts. That includes research before posting, and putting together thoughts afterward.

My reaction to this thread: it has split into at least three different themes:

1) Email and OTHER forms of communication between teachers and students who are mentally/emotionally unbalanced.
2) The role of email in communication between students and teachers, in general.
3) How different teachers handle communication with students outside lessons.

“2” and “3” may or may not be the same subject/topic.

My rule: cut off all forms of communication with mentally unbalanced people unless you are a psychiatrist.

I do not give my email address out to people I do not trust. And if someone I thought I could trust turns out to be a problem, I simply block that sender.

Problem solved.

You know what they say about great minds...

Thank you for all of your participate in this topic.
My adult student has sign the policy and agree to follow all the requirements that I stated include piano education progress and how to interact with me after lesson. He is doing his best and I stated in policy very clear about it. I think he is really just need some help and I am happy that I decide to give him a chance of excel in piano without worry about his interaction. He has very specific guideline to follow and he is okay with it.

Well done, ez. No need to fire a student over this clumsiness of manners. He'll learn.

+2

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I like to thank Piano World Forum and all the participants here in helping me sort through some thinking over this year, 2012.
My adult student turn out following my rules about the interaction, and he is my best adult student so far. He always come with practice, complete his theory homework and enthusiasm to learn.
Unfortunately he recently lost his job of 22 years this month (can you believe that they lay off people at this holiday seasons?) and can no longer afford paying for piano lesson.
Since he is such a good student, I am offering him one month of free lesson and hope that he can find something new very soon (in less than one month)
Just an update.

That's very thoughtful and generous of you, ez. Bravo!