Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Tuner-Technicians Forum OT Paging Jerry Groot (and any one else living in the Northland)

hey, this is the only reason I revisit this board! Cool stuff!

SM

Puns for Educated Minds

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an opticalAleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Taken from another forum (translated from German, but the story is funny enough to post here):

How to call the police...

Günther F., an elderly gentleman from Harsum close to Hildesheim, was on his way to bed when his wife pointed out to him that he had left the lights on in the carport. Said Günther F. opened the door to his back garden to switch off the carport light, but saw that there were burglars in the carport, busy stealing implements.

He called the police.

He was asked whether the burglars were with him in his home.

He answered, "No, there are burglars in my carport, busy robbing me."

The officer responded, "All our vehicles are out on calls. Please lock the door to your house. As soon as a patrol vehicle becomes available, I'll dispatch it to your home immediately."

Günther said, "OK", put down the receiver and counted to 30. Then he called the police again.

"Hello, I called you a moment ago, because burglars are stealing things from my carport. You don't need to hurry anymore, as I've shot both of them."

And put the phone down again.

It wasn't five minutes later, and 6 police patrol vehicles, a helicopter, a special forces team, five fire brigade vehicles, one paramedic and an ambulance arrived at the home of the F. couple.

Both burglars were arrested on the spot.

One of the police officers said to Günther, "But you said that you had shot the burglars!"

To which Günther answered, "And you said that no-one was available."

Nothing else to do but practice








































Been working out to stay fit








































Why does the Chicken cross the road

LEXOPHILES *(LOVERS OF WORDS):

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

10. A calendar's days are numbered.

11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at
large.

14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

15. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

21. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out
to be an optical Aleutian.


23. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it
was a weapon of math disruption.

25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for
littering.

27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.

29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When
his grandmother telephoned to ask how he
was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.

34. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Those are good ones.


Sorry I'm in and out these days...hope everyone is well round these parts.

Maybe if we kick the piano it will go back in tune





























Driving me crazy



















Old Marv's famous fried chicken

Hey, I did that first picture there of the service technician Daryl after I smacked my head on something. Wasn't the piano. This time.. Wasn't the wife either. It was my car top as I climbed out of my car a couple days ago. hehe. I HATE bumping my head! Knocks my brains looser than they already are!



I put this on another page but, I just want to make sure that you are now all, one of ME! Baby clones. haaaummmmmmmmm.... haaauuummmmmmmm.. POOF!





I got him mom! I got him!



Ha, he THOUGHT he had me!

Where is that danged turkey anyway???



Here Turkey, turkey, here turkey turkey...









May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

> Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Turkeys in the oven












I'm thankful I have a gun















Death row turkeys

Why doggies bite part II.

What? You really think I look like Princes Di! You're sick!



No, I do not look like a turtle thank you very much. Can I go play yet? Hmm, I think I sniff a hand to my left.... Keep it there, I shall bite it later...



We thought you hid bones for us, not Easter eggs?



Monkey see, monkey dooo! See me make you extra doo doo now.. hehehe.



What the heck is this? Come closer, closer, closer, I BITE you're sorry face off!



Stupid humans.... We have a plan. You will find extra pee on your furniture tonight after you fall asleep.

Try this Ctrl+C and then Ctrl+V




































Tattoos are cool




























There is nowhere to run

I hope everyone did have a good Thanksgiving!

Chicken!



I've been stood up!



You're smart pooch. I met mine and look what she did to me!? All I did was sniff her!

It's a nice day to go skiing

























My old buddy mouse


























What's up Ralph

Mum? Can you come and get me down now?



I'm not coming out.
You'll have to come in and get me.



Kung Fu Panda...bring it on!



On the count of three.... lift!

Does this log make my butt look fat?



Betcha can't see me.....



Oops! Slight miscalculation.



You go. I'll just stay here and rest my head a little bit.



It wasn't me! I didn't steal this bamboo shoot!
It was just sitting here, I swear it!

Dancing With The Stars has a new winner











Chirp Chirp



























A new phone for Christmas would be nice

Ready for MORE Panda Pics? To bad. Here they come!

I'll give you 2 seconds to get off me or I'm calling Mom.



Pardon me but do you have a napkin?



Darn paparazzi! Could we have a little privacy please?



Dear Martha Stewart:
I have this brown stain on my nice, white, fluffy butt...



Shhhh! I'm reviewing...



I cannot believe that I'm stuck in this tree again.
What is the matter with me?



I'm sure there's a way out somewhere.
I saw an ant go this way yesterday.



Forgive me Father, for I have sinned...

Love em, Jerry!