Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Pianist Corner Rejecting someone...

"It's not you, it's me"

Do it sooner rather than later. The longer you wait, the more time wasted, the more invested everyone becomes, and the harder it will be.

How would you want to be told? If you are serious, you probably want to know specifically why. This is not owed, and has a high probability of creating a very uncomfortable situation as most people will become extremely hurt and defensive. I guess it really depends on your relationship with the person up to that point.

Make sure whatever you do, be professional and polite, but direct. Don't say anything more than you need to say. I think there have been some good suggestions already in this thread.

What are the actual reasons here?

That won't work if the person is basically on the same page as you artistically, but you don't want to work together because he/she is a jerk, or can't play as well as you want, or some other reason that is unrelated to artistic vision.

Also, if you cite artistic differences, the person can always respond with "I can learn what it is you want", and then you are stuck.

In the past, I have said "I have chosen someone else to ____________this time, maybe next time we can work together if there is a next time", which there won't be.

I listen regularly to a popular former radio host who just discussed this topic in-depth recently and basically explained that when breaking off relationships, reasons generally need not (and should not) be provided as they're not only never satisfying, but more often than not, they leave room for debate when that obviously isn't what you want.