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Squab on a stick...cocktails? I’ve led a sheltered life.

It was Summer with a vengeance at our most recent gig; a church-sponsored fair with a tin can on wheels for a stage. It was precisely aligned for maximum exposure to the late afternoon sun. We arrived just as the astronomers were packing up their instruments.

It was scorching hot, and plenty humid too. We were as wilted as the poor bedraggled electrons that powered the stage. The power was so sparse that you could count them individually. I considered giving them names. Their long trip through the too-narrow wire supplied by the fair took them first to the beer refrigeration trailer, where they tarried rather too long. Already three volts to the wind, they had to negotiate a ragged splice behind the stage truck on their way to our gear and ultimately to a string of halogen floodlights.

Our horn section took the evening off. Our sax player picked a good week to be in Alaska. The rest of the “section” (my second keyboard) was knocked out by the aforementioned power problem.

Assuming it’s still OK to mention the actual experience of playing an instrument in this thread, I noticed an interesting phenomenon that night. I use two keyboards. The main 88-key instrument is for piano, organ and electric piano. The second smaller keyboard is for all of the musicians we’d like to have but can’t afford to pay. Most often this means horn parts, but I also use it for strings, organ, timpani, conga drums and even accordion sounds.

Maybe half of the songs in a given evening involve splitting my attention. This is somewhere between a challenge and a pain in the neck, depending on the song. I didn’t come to whatever ability I have in that area easily either. It has taken a long time, and the attentive listener will still hear a lot of “fudging” going on. So you might guess that a night relieved of that chore would be a breeze. Strangely, at least in some songs, it was a little disorienting.

It wasn’t just that I needed to find something for my left hand to do; it was as if my right hand got a little “confused” as well. I’m sure that people will mention “muscle memory” here, and there’s probably some validity in that idea. But I am hardly a slave to playing the same parts from gig to gig, so there’s already a pretty wide pool of variation.

To be sure, many of the songs, especially those with easy changes, were indeed a breeze. But some of the more complicated ones made me feel a little off kilter in a way I’m having trouble describing. It’s easy enough to see how this might happen in normal (one instrument) playing; the left and right hands work in tandem to create a sound. Removing or altering the left can throw off the right. But it is something of a surprise that the removal of a distinct part, that originally caused more difficulty, would have a similar effect.

The song I remember most was “Does Anybody Know What Time It Is” by Chicago. Minus our sax player and the second keyboard we probably shouldn’t have played it, but it was a request, I believe. (Did I mention we had a sub on bass as well?) The intro especially felt a little strange. I think that in that part, I actually let the left hand (the “horns”) take the lead role in my brain; the right hand sort of comps along on autopilot. Without the left hand part, I actually had to think about the right.

I’m afraid to reread what I wrote above. I hope it makes at least a little sense. Happy Summer to all

it does! it is so much fun to have an electric to play at 90 degrees.. or 180.

I've only done it for fun.. but it is FUN. My organ skills have helped me in this regard because i play on 3 registers (keyboards basically) and know how to keep one running while deciding what to do with the other two.

if that makes any sense.

At first I thought you meant 90 degrees Fahrenheit. I did say it was hot out. But then I continued reading, 180 degrees??

I'm guessing now that you are referring to the arrangement of keyboards. That 180 Keith Emerson thing is some neat showmanship, but I doubt it would be comfortable. I have my second keyboard maybe 6" above the main keyboard. Among other advantages, it allows me to play it with either hand.

Do these keyboards actually have thermometers? I'm against it. I have enough trouble running enough voltage through my brain as it is.

For everyone's information, the hottest temperature ever measured on Planet Earth was 57.8 °C (136 °F) Al 'Aziziyah, Libya (for some reason I find this unsurprising) on September 13, 1922. But it may be hotter up there in the organ loft with three manuals.

Glad to see you again, Greg. That beer cooler owed you, and I hope you made it pay. At least, in America the beer is cold. That's something.

hardee har har.

Only on the floor model.


What is not generally known is that the temperature was measured inside a ShowMobile.

I just looked up the name Al 'Aziziyah in the hope that there would be some comic potential in its derivation. I couldn't find a translation, but I did find reference to the temperature record. It is apparently a matter of some dispute; something about measuring it on tarmac with a possibly non-standard instrument. Amazing the things you can learn on PW.


Thanks. This "real life" thing has kept me pretty busy, but it is definitely an improvement. I read PW when I can.

Despite appearances (although I am a bit more svelte now) I've never been partial to beer. The second hottest temperature ever recorded, which may actually be the highest "fair" reading, was right here in the U.S of A. Death Valley, naturally. I wonder if the beer is cold there?

I once went through Borrego Springs, California, on the hottest day of the year. It was about 113°. I got out of the car for a minute or two. It was an interesting experience.

I meant to say squab on a stick cocktail snacks, but I like the typo.

Okay, in a unique musical twist, today's Turkish bride has veered away from her Turkish music requests and is now requesting Coltrane, which is almost as alarming, since I am 1) not a soprano or tenor sax player, and 2) far from being a jazz musician. But I shall play "My One and Only Love" and "Angel Eyes" and hope for the best. She also requested "Greensleeves." Talk about a musical potpourri.

The good news? The ceremony will take place at city hall, home to one of the world's finest Steinway D's. I adore this piano—I've gotten to play it a handful of times and it is a dream. The local music school is in the town hall, so they keep it very well maintained.

My hottest job? I once played in St. Louis (I was the musical director for Gordon and Luis LIVE, a Sesame Street show that toured all over the place (it was just me, Gordon, and Luis) and we were booked to do two shows outside under the arch in 100 degree weather. It was the only time I have ever played the piano with a wet towel on my neck. It was ridiculous. We were followed by the Temptations and to this day I don't know how they got through their show in those long-sleeved gold lamé jumpsuits.

In other news Waltz of the AP has gotten nice reviews from International Piano and Publishers Weekly, so luck is on my side this month. The Tattooed Bride lives.

And "Today in Disregarded Wedding History:"

July 20, 1822 was the birth of Gregor Mendel, father of the science of genetics.

"Between 1856 and 1863 Mendel cultivated and tested some 29,000 pea plants, Pisum sativum. This study showed that one in four pea plants had purebred recessive alleles (aa), two out of four were hybrid (Aa or aA) and one out of four were purebred dominant (AA). His experiments led him to make two generalizations, the Law of Segregation and the Law of Independent Assortment , which later became known as Mendel's Laws of Inheritance." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gregor_Mendel

Do not be so quick to scoff, even in the hot weather which encourages indiscreet liasons such as the hasty marriage of first cousins. I suspect that the double-recessive genes may be DIRECTLY responsible for demands for Turkish wedding piano music (well, Coltrane for a wedding? Better get a preacher who is louder than a saxophone), and whoever heard of a Turkish piano anyway? Though I hear that Turkey is a lovely and fascinating country.

Well, think it over. Why couldn't they just have had Turkish tulips, flown up from the Southern Hemisphere (or better yet, go there in person), or Turkish towels for the bridesmaids' dresses, or Turkish taffy for the reception? Or hookahs with Turkish tobacco during the ceremony, and a turkey-baster baby for the honeymoon suite?

Mendel wasn't beyond such a thing, although I believe he pollinated with a soft camel-hair brush--- and 29,000 times is not so easy to scoff at.

The world did not bother to scoff. Mendel's findings were ignored, only to be rediscovered in the early years of the 20th century. Weddings of kissing cousins may be frowned on... or then again, overlooked. "When choosing between two evils, I always pick the one I haven't tried yet." So said Mae West, and so say the kinfolk.

Meanwhile, Spanish peppers and German bean sprouts are off the hook for 50 deaths and thousands of illnesses, and suspicion has fallen upon Egyptian fenugreek seeds. Guys, you can't make this stuff up. One taste 40 years ago was enough to convince me never to put it in my mouth again, but it has its adherents. Breast milk has been increased by as much as 900%, and it is used medicinally to alleviate arthritis and diabetes, and as an ingredient in Indian curries. Hmmm. Let's hope roasting gets rid of e. coli, as well as improving the nasty, bitter taste.

my 11 year daughter.. an avid reader, loved the Asparagus People Robin..

back to work in 2 weeks and am doing a funeral tomorrow.. Can't wait. The good thing about not driving is not running the kids around to their activities, giving me plenty of time to practice.

enjoyed your post Jeff.

for a brief mention of John Coltrane in an awesome song... check this Lucinda Williams song out... give it a chance, she is an awesome writer and performer even tho she looks a bit past prime (and who isn't?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kx1ffuDoy6I

her 'dancing' skills are, are, are rhythmic.

redacted, for now

Well, sorry you took that post down, Clef—it was quite funny.

The Turkish bride was beautiful, as was the entire wedding ceremony. Always nice to see two cultures meeting under nice circumstances. The groom was German, with lots of upscale-looking family members and friends, dressed conservatively in dark suits and linen dresses in colors from a chalky palette. The Turkish contingent featured several older women in embroidered head scarves, younger women in silky dresses in jewel tones, and men with biceps bulging under their snug suits.

The bride and groom marched in together accompanied by a recording of a Turkish love song that caused widespread cheering on the Turkish side of the audience. Loved that! I think there should be more cheering at weddings.

I played "My One and Only Love" and there was polite applause, but no cheering. It was fun. The piano was a dream. They also requested "Greensleeves," so I played that, about as well as I can play it. A good instrument always gives me such confidence. "Over the Rainbow" was also on the program, as well as the Bach "Air on a G-String."

The cake served after the ceremony was a huge heart-shaped fresh strawberry pie. Champagne. Lots of gorgeous babies in strollers. Very nice. All in all, a happy event.

Today I am playing a 30 minute pre-lunch cocktail reception for a wedding party, then I will go directly into the restaurant and play my regular Sunday lunch gig. Should be a nice day.

Hey, Apple, glad to hear you're back on the bench. How did the funeral gig go? Whenever I've been away from work for awhile, I always notice a buzzy kind of feeling when I return—it's almost like being a little high. Sadly, it only lasts for the first 20 minutes of the job, but I do enjoy it!

the funeral went fine.. I was a little shaky. I get better daily tho. It's odd having to practice. (wondering... just wondering if Jeff was poking fun at Lucinda).. who indeed looks far worse than she sounds.

Good to hear you're getting back into the rhythm (pun sort of intended) of things, Apple. I'll bet no one but you noticed any shakiness. FWIW, I like Lucinda a lot — have you heard "Born to be Loved"?

It didn't look right on the page; that was the problem, Robin. Also, it was (and is) too long. We'd like the dance of the electrons to be up to the mark of the waltz of the asparagus people, if we can. And when we're speaking of living persons, it pays to make it read right. Then again, look at the stories you got away with printing, without having your tongue pulled out.

Anyway, no complaints, so back it comes, unredacted. And Apple, no, I didn't have Lucinda in mind--- not this time. So she shakes--- look what it did for Elvis.

***********************************************************************************************************

I had a nice visit with Darlene this afternoon. She has a handsome young intern in the piano store, who has brought a fresh, new atmosphere. The pianos seem more spotless, more sparkly, placed just right; there's a nice quality of focus in the place, and the ivories seem to have winning smiles. Piano stores so often have an atmosphere that makes the shopper feel dizzy, or woozy, or panicky--- perhaps as if we were in the coils of a hungry boa constrictor--- but I could picture myself making a good decision here. A sense of presence is hard to describe exactly, but let's just say, I know people whose presence has the other effect. We all know them. They are the answer to the classic question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" "Because it saw you coming."

He is going off in the Fall to one of the Boston conservatories. She did not say--- and I do not infer--- that this is the reason she has stopped reading The Waltz of the Asparagus People, right around in the middle. But she did not return it to me, and that's a good sign; a sign that she intends to persevere. We know she loves Robin's writing. She did return Grand Obsession, though, saying that it was never going to get read and I might as well take it home.

Perhaps her own focus is like that of a person eating a box of assorted bon-bons from a boutique chocolatier, whose directory page has blown away. Which is which--- do we have the Cocoanut Creme, the Raspberry Jelly, the Chocolate-Covered-Cherry Cordial, or the Black Walnut Truffle? So we have to guess by the shape, and take our chances. But there is no downside here! Book bon-bon chapters are not fattening. We just gobble them down one after the next, never to fear the slightest consequences--- or even noticing that we confused 'books' with 'boxes.'

Well, Waltz will come back in its good time, and I'll have a another go. I gulped it down in one afternoon and a night--- a perfect book to ignore my husband with--- but we're getting along better now, and I will try it slowly and without bolting.

And in Other Asparagus News:

Gordon Taylor's Kitchen Nightmares is all about transforming vile and horrid restaurants into places that feature tasty, fresh, locally grown (and sometimes, personally killed) products. No surprise, when he tossed out the tired and rubbery asparagus, with some choice, unprintable remarks, but when the new, crispy and yummy shoots came from the market... he wrapped each stalk in a shawl of bacon and went on to make it a side dish, with a creamy sauce (somehow, I keep seeing a puree of baked butternut squash on there, with a touch of parmesan, a devil-may-care dash of chili powder, and thinking--- "Why not?").

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" "Because he saw Gordon coming with a hollandaise whisk, a cleaver, and a pot of boiling water."

But by "why not?" I'm referring to bridesmaids' dresses. Or stoles. It could be such a fun look, until someone asks herself, "What is she trying to say here... and why wasn't it about me?" Bridesmaids' dresses have earned their well-deserved reputation for tasteless, vulgar ugliness and excess, and dressing the courtiers as asparagus stalks in pig-in-the-blanket wraps would be a big step up for all but a few. Besides, who would get it? I think there's a lot to be said for food-themed outfits for the wedding party.

Yeah. Grand Obsession got off to a promising start. But halfway through I just started silently screaming "OH, FGS get OVER yourself, girl!" Maybe a female reader would have lasted a bit longer :-)

No I haven't heard it... but just listened on you tube. I love Lucinda.. must be on a new album? She's looking good.. almost corporate. I just love how she broadens her vowels like some instrument.. I can't quite place it.. kind of like an alto sax if there is such a thing.

edit - what a great song. and omg churches are calling me right and left.. Our 'community' must be missing a couple players. wait till they hear me play.. it's good but I'm kind of loose in a way. ha ha.

and Exalted Wombat.. pique is a trip. kind of like my sister. I read her whole book, but I would have given up years before she did. just get me a piano already.

Lucinda has got it, plain and simple.

Clef, tell Darlene I am anxiously awaiting her verdict. Now I'm nervous. I do hope you enjoy the book on its second reading. I think some of the stories merit another go-round, but not all. I am personally most fond of "Little Big Soul," "House on Sorority Row," and "The View from Here" (Wheelchair Guy). But maybe that's because they were the most challenging to write. I remember when I posted my first draft of Wheelchair Guy on this forum and how grateful I was for your feedback (and thankful that no one came after me with a shotgun).

I am headed to the Belgian coast for a week and then to Lyon, France for a week with, my husband, the bass, and the French luthier, Jean Auray (he's the guy in the WAP story called "Th Apricot Tree").

I'll be spending much of the rest of the summer trying to figure out what should be my next project. Suggestions are very welcome.

On the wedding front, I played for yet another Indian wedding over the weekend. I really wanted to get out my phone and start snapping photos from the piano, but that would have been a little too indiscreet. I was told that these were famous Indians, but, being a total idiot about Indian culture, I didn't recognize any of the names. I felt like I was in the middle of a Bollywood movie. I have never seen such glorious outfits. Saris in bright silks, with all sorts of elaborate beading. There were Indian bodyguards there protecting someone (I spent much of the gig trying to guess who the VIPs were) and they stood with their arms across their chests, without ever blinking. Gotta say, the guards had a certain something. I love a man in uniform, even if it involves a saber. I tried to get them to smile at me, but it didn't work.

When I return from my trip I'll be playing for the Japanese bride. It has been an international wedding summer. Love that.