I mean, we already had a whole keg! Better stop while we're ahead.

Jerry!!! He means!!!
If you are seeing DOUBLE. . .
then you've had TOO much to drink!!!

Here's wishing EVERYONE a very happy VALENTINE'S DAY!

Horowitzian,

Just a few TECHNICAl DIFFICULTIES with Jerry!
Think he's OUT ON A LIMB! He'll be fine soon!

Got this in an email. Thought some of it was pretty funny. Hope you enjoy it too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BAD DAY AT HALLMARK ~
Ever wonder what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day ~ ~
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it....

She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.
--------------------------------------
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.

####################################################
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.
********************************************************************************
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Life like!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
We have been friends for a very long time

let's say we stop?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.
====================================================
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.

Here Diane, just for you! I can tell that you've had enough cold and snow up there and so have I! This one is just for you!

Funny Jerry! That's how we are starting to feel!

If we could get some SUNSHINE, think that would help a lot!
But it's just cold and dark! Need LITE!

Am ready to trade this COLD/DARK WEATHER for something else!
Something WARMER! Any takers?

Here you go Diane, again, just for you!



Lil bright huh?

Guess what I just did????



Huh? What? Huh? You seeing double this time?

This is for you Horowitzian!
What do you get when you combine guitars and pianos?

And I'm not the only one aggravated by my surroundings!

My kind of day.





Heheheeee.

Hehe, ain't I a stinker today?

A pianar!

Well, the winter is starting to get to me and I'm starting to look a bit like this!
Had a bad dream that winter is "never" going to end!

Howie said he was bringing the beer.

Hey guys!
Well if you don't see me around it's because I"ve made like a ghost and disappear!
See ya all! It was fun!!!

Here's one for the road...

More Maxine for you Howie.



It used to be only death and taxes
Now, of course, there's
shipping and handling, too.




My mind works like lightning, One brilliant
Flash and it is gone.

The only time the world beats a path to
Your door is if you're in the bathroom.

Be who you are and say what you feel... because those that matter... don't mind...and those that mind...don't matter!

Good stuff, Jerry! I do love Maxine's perpetual crankiness.

Here's some more for ya.

From The FAIL Blog.

This is how we really fix your pianos!



And, this is what happens to them after, we fix them.



Love to do this to a few piano players I've met!

Man, I've been on hold for 45 minutes!!!



I think I feel a little green today.



I gots an ouweee.



No, I'm NOT going to the VET!!!

My mommy said to cover your mouth when you yawn.



I wasn't doing anything naughty, I promise!



You mean, we have different daddies?

This is how I heard YOUR day was going.....

First you had trouble getting out of bed



Then you had a stiff neck



You washed your hair and couldn't do a thing with it



You pulled a muscle when you tried to exercise



Your new diet really doesn't seem to be working out



You might as well go back to bed.

Here is some more entertainment for you all... Hope you enjoy it..

I think we have some uninvited guests here!



Lunch is not agreeing with me today.



This poor little thing came down with the flu.



Dangit, your bratty kid threw me in to pool again!



I am alone in the house and I think I hear a noise in the basement



Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
If you can't eat it or play with it,
Just pee on it and walk away.