Q: What do you call a really clever minature donkey with three legs and one eye that can play the piano and has a bad case of wind that has been attacked by a squid, and has applied to be a TeleTubby stand-in?

A: A tinkywinky inky thinky stinky plinky-plonky winky wonky dinky donkey.

A honky tonky plinky plonky dinky donkey plays boogie woogie.

That was a virtuoso performance from Jer.

Q. Why can a man never go hungry in a great desert?
A: He can eat the sand which is there.

There was a mathematician who frequently sunbathed and often strayed from the topic of conversation. He was a real tan gent.

I went for a job as a gold prospector, but it didn't pan out.

My New Years resolutions for 2013

Jerry et al., thanks for a great year of fun & laughs (minus the latest donkey jokes, those are on par with the 3 stooges ...must be male to appreciate, I guess).

Happy New Year's to all!

*********************************************************
Joe takes his visiting Scottish cousin to a baseball game.
Baseball is new to the Scot, so Joe is explaining the game as it goes.
The visiting team's pitcher throws four bad pitches, and the batter
tosses his bat toward the dugout and strolls to first. The Scot jumps up
and shouts: "Run, man, run!". Joe pulls him down and explains: "No, he
gets to walk, he has four balls." The Scot jumps up and shouts: "Walk
with pride, man, walk with pride!"

As we mark a new year, I have to say that is incredibly moving that you folks are still having fun on this thread, and have made it into one of the most epic mega threads I have ever seen. Thanks for the laughs.

Here's to another year of jokes, cartoons, bad puns, and good funs!!

(did I just do that?)

Thank you Piano Joy and to others as well for the compliments. We are all happy that we can still make you laugh and enjoy life even if life does suck on some days. .

Thanks also to those that contribute funnies in here too! We couldn't do it all by ourselves!

Yes JERRY, you are a real . . . HERO!
You keep us all laughing our ...our pants off! ROLLING in laughter has been a lot of fun! Thanks Jer!

You have too Diane!!! And, Daryl and many others too!! Thank you guys too!!!

Hey, where's Robin hiding? In a tree with her eggs??

And here is a date for Jerry when he goes out on the town!

YIPESSSSS!! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!! That picture is going to cause me to start ssstttudddering Ryan!!

Just for you women.

Here's your ROBIN Jerry! Waiting patiently for those birds to start coming back home! Anyone see "Spring"?
We are freezing our "pants off! There, I got it right this time!

Jerry -- To make sure that you never run into her (him?), make it a point to never shop at WalMart.

I had to dig "Spring" out of a snowbank. 'Still trying to revive it. He was hitch-hiking to Florida and got hit by one of these.

When you live in CANADA with SNOW, you have to learn to love it!
Embrace it! Not that I sleep with it but... ya gotta LOVE IT!

Perks of reaching 50
Or being over 60
And heading towards
70 or beyond!


1.
Kidnappers are not very
Interested in you.


2.
In a hostage situation,
You are likely to be released first.


3.
No one expects you to run --
Anywhere.


4.
People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,
'Did I wake you?'


5.
People no longer view you as a
Hypochondriac.


6.
There is nothing left
To learn the hard way.


7.
Things you buy now
Won't wear out.


8.
You can eat
Supper at 4 PM.


9..
You can live without sex
But not your glasses.


10.
You get into heated arguments
About pension plans.


11.
You no longer think of speed limits
As a challenge.


12.
You quit trying to hold
Your stomach in no matter who walks
Into the room.


13.
You sing along
With elevator music.


14.
Your eyes won't get
Much worse.


15.
Your investment in health insurance
Is finally beginning to pay off.


16.
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
Than the national weather service.


17.
Your secrets are safe with your friends
Because they can't remember them either.

18.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
A manageable size.


19.
You can't remember
Who sent you this list.

19.
You can't remember
Who sent you this list.

I think that Groot fella sent me this list, but for the life of me I can't remember who he is!

He's that piano tuna from Michigan!

Who is that Groot fella???? Michigan? What's that? A tree farm or something?

I think it's that JERRY gets so many emails from so many people, that when he reads the "list" he can't remember, & anybody would have trouble remembering, who sent you the "list"!
Here's something one should keep track of, or there is going to be some "explaining to do"! . . . wink!

Are all tooners groot vegetables?

I do believe you nailed it Marty! Or, we're all just aa bunch of veggie heads...

Is this thread getting "long in the tooth"
Well, it's LONG anyways.
I think I see a joke in here somewhere!?

A donkey in a gillie suit. 'Cute. 'Bet he's suited up to go turkey hunting. He's in luck. There are a couple of "Turkeys" that post here.

Quick guys! (You know who you are.) Run and hide!

Gobble, Gobble

All I can say is, The person who designed this? . . . IS A TURKEY!