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#2020628 - 01/24/13 06:02 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: AZNpiano]
John v.d.Brook Offline
7000 Post Club Member

Registered: 03/18/06
Posts: 7277
Loc: Olympia, Washington, USA
Heck, I'd just put the family on the waiting list, and then forget about it. You never know about the family currently occupying the slot -- they may suddenly have a time conflict, and then you'll have a ready student to fill in.
_________________________
"Those who dare to teach must never cease to learn." -- Richard Henry Dann
Full-time Private Piano Teacher offering Piano Lessons in Olympia, WA. www.mypianoteacher.com
Certified by the American College of Musicians; member NGPT, MTNA, WSMTA, OMTA

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#2020666 - 01/24/13 07:13 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
Ann in Kentucky Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/22/08
Posts: 2647
Loc: Kentucky
I agree with what Monica and John said.

However, I am curious about when the child would practice. If the weekly schedule has only a single hour open for lessons, then when is there space in the weekly schedule for practice?
_________________________
piano teacher

"She played upon her music box
a fancy air by chance,
And straightaway all her polka dots
began a lively dance."
-- Peter Newell

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#2020683 - 01/24/13 07:54 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: Ann in Kentucky]
AZNpiano Online   sleepy
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/07/07
Posts: 5403
Loc: Orange County, CA
Originally Posted By: Ann in Kentucky
However, I am curious about when the child would practice. If the weekly schedule has only a single hour open for lessons, then when is there space in the weekly schedule for practice?

Of course I'm just conjecturing, but it sounds like this parent wants piano lessons at the least busy time of the week, so they can have the rest of the weekend to do other stuff. Not very many events are planned on Saturday mornings around here, except for soccer matches and swim meets.
_________________________
Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member

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#2020743 - 01/24/13 09:14 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
rocket88 Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 09/04/06
Posts: 3158

What bothers me is that this mother is willing to wait years before her child gets piano lessons.

Time's a-wasting, lady...get another teacher...start the kid on lessons!
_________________________
Music teacher and piano player.

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#2020758 - 01/24/13 09:50 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
Jeff Clef Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 10/05/08
Posts: 4413
Loc: San Jose, CA
I was thinking over, just yesterday, the small danger signs that I had let go by, early in certain relationships.

Turns out, I should have paid more attention; the signs were right there. And I say the same for this prospective student's parent. I have found the comments interesting and worthwhile, but since you say you see the potential for trouble yourself, I think you have also seen the answer for yourself.
_________________________
Clef


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#2020893 - 01/25/13 04:22 AM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
btb Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/21/04
Posts: 4261
Loc: Pretoria South Africa
I’m going to bet my bottom dollar that Mummy Dear
(Two-ton Tessie) can’t play the flipping piano and would prove a feckless frump in monitoring her progeny’s daily piano homework ... probably wants the 9am slot to avoid cancelling a mid-morning bridge session.

These ambitious Mater’s ooze a heady confidence that they have spawned another Mozart ... (don’t they all?)

It would appear that most of the seasoned Piano teachers subscribe to the OP’s 3rd alternative ... don’t touch with a barge-pole.

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#2021000 - 01/25/13 09:16 AM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: Jeff Clef]
Morodiene Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/06/07
Posts: 11357
Loc: Boynton Beach, FL
Originally Posted By: Jeff Clef
I was thinking over, just yesterday, the small danger signs that I had let go by, early in certain relationships.

Turns out, I should have paid more attention; the signs were right there. And I say the same for this prospective student's parent. I have found the comments interesting and worthwhile, but since you say you see the potential for trouble yourself, I think you have also seen the answer for yourself.


I agree with this - listen to your gut feeling on this one. It raises a red flag in my book anyways.

Also, I would not ask the current student if they wanted 9 am or 11 am, because it still implies that you want them to take this other time, or you wouldn't offer. If the mom wants to wait years, let her wait. I would also give her a list of other teachers in the area to contact in the meantime that may have that time available.


Edited by Morodiene (01/25/13 09:16 AM)
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#2021070 - 01/25/13 11:25 AM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
ezpiano.org Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 05/10/11
Posts: 1002
Loc: Irvine, CA
Quote:
Also, I would not ask the current student if they wanted 9 am or 11 am, because it still implies that you want them to take this other time, or you wouldn't offer.

Agree with you.

I decide not to take this new mom. Any suggestion how to write an email? Do I need to explain why I cannot take her? Not now, not in two years?


Edited by ezpiano.org (01/25/13 11:30 AM)
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#2021099 - 01/25/13 12:30 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
childofparadise2002 Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 09/13/04
Posts: 540
Sometimes the best way to interact is not to think too much into other people's mind, but to take what they say as what they mean. Just put the family on your waiting list. If you have the spot open up in one month, or in three years, give them a call. If they are still interested, sign them up. If they have already moved on, you can call the next person on the waiting list. You have no information about what this family is like and how the student will practice and how busy they will be. No speculation is better than another speculation.

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#2021106 - 01/25/13 12:49 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
MaggieGirl Offline
Full Member

Registered: 09/18/11
Posts: 464
Dear Family, As we discussed I do not have a Saturday 9:00am lesson available. If you are not open to any of the options I discussed with you, you are welcome to call back next fall to see if I have an opening for that time slot. Kind regards, Piano Teacher.

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#2021107 - 01/25/13 12:51 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
MaggieGirl Offline
Full Member

Registered: 09/18/11
Posts: 464
I understand waitlists for current students for a different time slot, but not a two year long waitlist for someone who isn't taking lessons! That is why I'd put it back on the family to check back in the fall.


Edited by MaggieGirl (01/25/13 12:56 PM)

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#2021115 - 01/25/13 01:20 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
Peter K. Mose Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/06/12
Posts: 1311
Loc: Toronto, Ontario
Dear Pushy Irvine Mom,

Many thanks for your interest in my piano teaching program for little Theodore. I regret I am unable to accommodate your Saturdays @ 9am needs. I hope you will find another local teacher who can help you.

Sincerely,
EZ

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#2021135 - 01/25/13 01:45 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
rocket88 Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 09/04/06
Posts: 3158
I find all the conjecture and name-calling about this mother rather unfortunate.

We know absolutely nothing about her or her situation.

People are saying that the mother is pushy, trouble, etc. But it is very likely there is a reason(s) for her time requirement...perhaps a family or work or transportation situation requires 9:00 am Saturday.

My schedule only allows early morning doctor appointments, so maybe I too am pushy and trouble when my dentist or doctor wants to make an appointment for me. If my dentist insisted on a time slot I simply could not make, unless it was an emergency, then I too would hold firm.

The advice to simply put her on the waiting list is best, IMHO. She and her child could be wonderful. You just don't know right now.
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Music teacher and piano player.

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#2021210 - 01/25/13 04:12 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: rocket88]
currawong Offline
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 05/15/07
Posts: 5894
Loc: Down Under
Originally Posted By: rocket88
I find all the conjecture and name-calling about this mother rather unfortunate.
We know absolutely nothing about her or her situation
... ... ...
The advice to simply put her on the waiting list is best, IMHO. She and her child could be wonderful. You just don't know right now.
+1
_________________________
Du holde Kunst...

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#2021289 - 01/25/13 05:49 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
Morodiene Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/06/07
Posts: 11357
Loc: Boynton Beach, FL
If she is happy to wait, consider that a complement, but do let her know you will keep her on a waiting list. Still, I'd suggest some other teachers as it's possible they may be able to accommodate her schedule.


Edited by Morodiene (01/25/13 05:49 PM)
_________________________
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MTNA member
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Petrof 9'2 Concert, Yamaha G3, Roland FP-7, Yamaha MOX6, Kawai MP11

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#2021484 - 01/26/13 03:59 AM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
Candywoman Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 832
The lesson you have learned from all this is never allow so many emails back and forth. You need to speak with her. In doing so, you may have asked her why that is her only available time. When I was a youngster that was my only available time and yet I had many, many hours in which to practice piano. It was a simple transportation issue related to my father's work.

However, you might offer her 6 am Saturday and she just might take it.

And regarding your current 9 am student, he may have been desiring the 11 am slot for some time now and been to afraid to tell you. So how can you know unless you ask?

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#2021538 - 01/26/13 08:59 AM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
malkin Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/18/09
Posts: 2379
Loc: *sigh* Salt Lake City
My teacher asks everyone periodically (beginning of term, beginning of summer) if the lesson time is good or if we'd like a change.
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#2021906 - 01/26/13 10:38 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
pianoeagle Offline
Full Member

Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 218
Loc: Texas
Here would be my reply:

Dear Mom,

Unfortunately, I cannot accommodate your request for a 9:00 AM Saturday lesson time. As we have already discussed, lesson times are assigned on a first come, first serve basis, and slot has been filled for three years. At this time, the only slots available are x and y, so I would encourage you to see if you can work that into your schedule, and move into a more desired time as slots open up. Please call me at xxx xxx-xxxx if you have any questions or would like to join my studio's wait list. I look forward to your call.

Best wishes in your child's piano studies,
EZ
_________________________
Children's piano instructor
Member NGPT, MTNA/TMTA/PMTA, NFMC/SJFMC

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#2022033 - 01/27/13 08:04 AM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
keystring Online   content
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 11520
Loc: Canada
Pianoeagle, why "three years"? I don't think that this part is actually known. The last part "would like to join my studio's wait list" makes sense, since the mother has already indicated that she would like to join the waiting list. She can certainly reiterate that wish, to confirm.

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#2022079 - 01/27/13 09:53 AM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
Minniemay Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 06/07/09
Posts: 1702
Loc: CA
Originally Posted By: ezpiano.org
Quote:
Do you think the 9am student would want to move to 11?




This 9am student has been with me 3 years.
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#2022294 - 01/27/13 05:31 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: keystring]
pianoeagle Offline
Full Member

Registered: 02/16/11
Posts: 218
Loc: Texas
I would just use the three years or however long it's been to reiterate the expectation that you can't expect the slot to open up within a couple weeks or months.
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Children's piano instructor
Member NGPT, MTNA/TMTA/PMTA, NFMC/SJFMC

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#2022338 - 01/27/13 06:51 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: pianoeagle]
AZNpiano Online   sleepy
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/07/07
Posts: 5403
Loc: Orange County, CA
Originally Posted By: pianoeagle
you can't expect the slot to open up within a couple weeks or months.

You can expect whatever you want. Doesn't mean it's going to happen.
_________________________
Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member

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#2022389 - 01/27/13 08:25 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: AZNpiano]
personne Offline
Full Member

Registered: 11/24/12
Posts: 123
Loc: Toronto, Canada
I do not believe this mother is going to wait years for the slot to open.
She either expects the teacher to free this slot for her, or just does not realize students may come at the same time for a decade smile


Edited by personne (01/27/13 08:27 PM)
_________________________
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#2022395 - 01/27/13 08:32 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
ezpiano.org Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 05/10/11
Posts: 1002
Loc: Irvine, CA
Quote:
....so I would encourage you to see if you can work that into your schedule, and move into a more desired time as slots open up......


Tried this so many times to other parents, they usually agree to sign up right away even the time slot currently available is not the best one for them. Every beginning of the school year, I usually accept request from parents about their "best" time to have piano lesson and doing my best to accommodate everyone.
Parents sign up in the middle of year usually understand that current students have been in piano lesson since the beginning of the year and willing to wait for next school year for their best spot.
I did tried it this way with this new mom, it doesn't work out well, she is willing to wait "as long as it takes for a Saturday 9am slot".
I think a lot of you are right about if she is patient, that it is a compliment. Somehow, it doesn't sounds right to me..really? You will wait?
Maybe is just me.
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#2022435 - 01/27/13 09:30 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
Barb860 Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/11/09
Posts: 1644
Loc: northern California
How can anyone know what his/her schedule will be on a Saturday morning 2 years from now in the first place?
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Piano Teacher

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#2024668 - 01/31/13 02:11 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
Jonathan Baker Offline
Full Member

Registered: 06/09/09
Posts: 276
Loc: New York City!
Originally Posted By: ezpiano.org
"I can wait as long as it takes. I only want Saturday 9am slot."


Why only 9 AM? That means that some other activity following that in her schedule is more important than the piano lesson. Probably soccer, or ballet class, etc.

It has been my experience that those who demand schedules be honored exactly on their own terms without compromise do not work out for long. I do not allow myself to be upset by such callers. To begin with, their priorities are wrong. When I was a student I was happy to meet my teacher on any terms and times they would allow - the lesson was all-important to me, overriding any other matter in my schedule.
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Jonathan Baker
http://www.BakerPianoLessons.com/index.htm

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#2024941 - 01/31/13 11:19 PM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: ezpiano.org]
Jeff Clef Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 10/05/08
Posts: 4413
Loc: San Jose, CA
"...You can expect whatever you want. Doesn't mean it's going to happen..."

Learning to adjust our expectations is one of the great skills of a happy life.

Meanwhile, a parent with this attitude could still be waiting until the sun explodes before I would accept her into my studio.


Edited by Jeff Clef (01/31/13 11:21 PM)
_________________________
Clef


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#2025076 - 02/01/13 05:25 AM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: Jeff Clef]
keystring Online   content
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 11520
Loc: Canada
Originally Posted By: Jeff Clef

Meanwhile, a parent with this attitude could still be waiting until the sun explodes before I would accept her into my studio.

WHAT attitude? The thing that bothers me is the interpretation and extrapolation. If someone says A, it means all these other things. A customer has said she is willing to go on a waiting list. This happens all the time. The extrapolation that is probably being made is that the parent is trying to pressure the teacher by saying "I can wait as long is it takes." The extrapolation is also that this parent has absolute freedom, is totally able to take any other time, but insists on having her own way and will be equally inflexible later on. But do we know that? It could be true. It could also be true that this person has weighed everything carefully, this works, and the person will also be equally careful in making sure her child practises, has a supportive environment for practising etc.

I get customers calling me all the time because my work is not long term with anyone. I have to weigh things. Recently I got a call from someone who I thought would be a "difficult, pushy" customer. She turned out to be sweet, grateful, and accommodating, but had been given such a run around that she had become ultra cautious and defensive by the time she got to me. It taught me a lesson in prejudgment.

Meanwhile as student I have been at the other end of second guessing. We have no idea what teachers have encountered with other students, and that anything we say or do will remind them of these experiences, making them add meaning. It is a very frustrating thing at that end.

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#2025122 - 02/01/13 07:47 AM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: keystring]
Morodiene Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/06/07
Posts: 11357
Loc: Boynton Beach, FL
Originally Posted By: keystring
Originally Posted By: Jeff Clef

Meanwhile, a parent with this attitude could still be waiting until the sun explodes before I would accept her into my studio.

WHAT attitude? The thing that bothers me is the interpretation and extrapolation. If someone says A, it means all these other things. A customer has said she is willing to go on a waiting list. This happens all the time. The extrapolation that is probably being made is that the parent is trying to pressure the teacher by saying "I can wait as long is it takes." The extrapolation is also that this parent has absolute freedom, is totally able to take any other time, but insists on having her own way and will be equally inflexible later on. But do we know that? It could be true. It could also be true that this person has weighed everything carefully, this works, and the person will also be equally careful in making sure her child practises, has a supportive environment for practising etc.

I get customers calling me all the time because my work is not long term with anyone. I have to weigh things. Recently I got a call from someone who I thought would be a "difficult, pushy" customer. She turned out to be sweet, grateful, and accommodating, but had been given such a run around that she had become ultra cautious and defensive by the time she got to me. It taught me a lesson in prejudgment.

Meanwhile as student I have been at the other end of second guessing. We have no idea what teachers have encountered with other students, and that anything we say or do will remind them of these experiences, making them add meaning. It is a very frustrating thing at that end.


We really do not know, you are right. However, I've encountered enough of people who are demanding like this who end up treating me like I'm the "service/servant" rather than a highly educated professional hired to assist them in learning an instrument. I seem to recall that this is all through email, as well, and some people come across differently in email than they would over the phone. I always want to talk to the person on the phone and meet them before we even talk about schedules. That way I can really assess who I'm dealing with.
_________________________
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MTNA member
www.valeoconservatory.com
Petrof 9'2 Concert, Yamaha G3, Roland FP-7, Yamaha MOX6, Kawai MP11

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#2025208 - 02/01/13 10:41 AM Re: I can wait as long as it takes [Re: Morodiene]
keystring Online   content
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 11520
Loc: Canada
Originally Posted By: Morodiene

We really do not know, you are right. However, I've encountered enough of people who are demanding like this who end up treating me like I'm the "service/servant" rather than a highly educated professional hired to assist them in learning an instrument. I seem to recall that this is all through email, as well, and some people come across differently in email than they would over the phone. I always want to talk to the person on the phone and meet them before we even talk about schedules. That way I can really assess who I'm dealing with.

The e-mail part is a concern because there were many of them. We don't know how clearly either party wrote but when you have a lot of them it can be a sign of a "high maintenance" customer - you'll be discussing everything to death later on too. But the wish to go on a waiting list, and expressing the willingness to wait, in and of itself is not the sign of a bad attitude.

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