Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Pianist Corner - Non Classical Let's Talk Weddings

What types of songs are most requested? What era?

Greg, you and my husband would get along very well. He is also a great believer in CAR PREP. What a perfectly good way to make use of driving time.

Oh boy, the bandleader with the hand signals is a riot. I can just imagine the train wrecks. Peronally, I would like to see the MUSTANG SALLY sign language. This is like a combination of charades and Name That Tune.

As I write this, my 17 year old son is in the music studio rehearsing a piano medley called FAST, FURIOUS AND LATIN. I keep trying to get him to add a ballad to the mix, but no go. He has a gig coming up on Friday, for a bunch of seniors who enjoy hearing young people play frenzied jazz. He plays the world's fastest version of Donna Lee. I hope his audience survives.

We play mostly '50s through '70s with a smattering of other styles. Those genres, plus some Standards, is generally what we get requests for.

But people are not always that observant. We are nine pieces, nine men, to be more specific. Yet we get requests for "It's Raining Men" and "I Will Survive" pretty regularly. I try to goad our bandleader into doing Gloria Gaynor (I play the long diminished arpeggio that opens the song), but so far he hasn't taken the bait.

Some years ago someone asked for "(I Want to Be) Bobby's Girl". Our leader, mocking the absurdity of the request, sang the first line in a sort of strangled falsetto. Before he knew what to do, I slid in behind him with the chords, and the rest of the band chimed in on the next line. He ended up singing a verse and a chorus. Oh, for a video of that night!

Our old wedding band accompanied one groom as he warbled that classic ballad of undying love..."Stairway to Heaven". I think it was my first gig with that group. We've gotten requests (several) for "Paradise by the Dashboard Light", with its 17 verses, rhythm changes and baseball play by play announcer. That one we haven't tried.

I hate that song (Bobby's Girl) - would probably have just blown it off, but good for you all for having a sense of humor. You and your group sound very versatile. :-) "I Will Survive" is one of the few disco songs I really like and can actually play (follows the Circle of 5ths). Do you play by ear or by sheet music? That's nice that you rehearse - even in the car! I play a lot by ear and am pretty good at that, but a request for playing a song like "Colour My World" (a popular wedding song) can throw me for a loop. Sometimes I really need the sheet music/fake book/lead sheet to get it right.

We used to occasionally rehearse, once or twice a year.We were very efficient too. We'd work out four or five songs individually and then just get together to run through them once or twice. There was one time that I hadn't gotten around to listening to the last song on the list. Why? "Ralph's house wasn't far enough away". If there had been traffic, I'd have listened to all of them.

You'd like "Hang On Sloopy" then. He pantomimes hanging from a noose. And yes, there are some train wrecks, but not always because a hand signal is misinterpreted. Sometimes the drummer gets the message just fine, but forgets to tell all of the musicians.

We used to have a singer who would pantomime the lyrics to the background vocals on one song.
"We'll have a time"
(touches his watch)
"We'll dance and dine"
(moves quickly between a ballroom pose and lifting a fork to his lips)
"We'll have a ball"
(pantomimes dribbling a basketball)
"Dancing and all"
(more ballroom)

This was helpful, since I had never actually heard the record, but I had to keep from laughing.

Yes, "Bobby's Girl" does not have the most enlightened, empowering set of lyrics for young women to draw inspiration from. But there sure is comic potential for a group of 50+ men, wouldn't you agree?

As for sheet music, my connection with written music was alwsys tenuous, even when I was taking lessons, and that was (jeez) 40 years ago. I've been on a sheet-free regimen for several decades now. I've occasionally written chord charts for other people, but I don't use them for myself.

I actually find reading chord symbols a bit of an impediment. For me to play naturally and fluidly, I have to be able to "hear" the song in my head. Reading adds an extra mental activity that gets in the way. I know all the chord names, but I don't actively think about them.

The first chord of the intro to "I Will Survive" (if memory serves) consists of an E bass note with an Fdim7 chord played over it. That is correctly named E7 b9, but if I read E7 b9 on a sheet, I'd have to spend a second deciphering it. Hearing the sound in my head gives me quicker access to the appropriate things to play.

There's a chord I use frequently that is essentially an Ab Major triad played over a C7 chord. That's a C7 #9 b13, I think (the b13 could be an augmented 5th instead). But I guarantee you that I have never thought of naming it until now. Furthermore, that name on a sheet would likely stop me in my tracks. But when I hear that "sound" on a record, I know what to play.

All of our guys play by ear, and learn quickly. But that's my personal specialty, hence the learning in the car bit. My biggest challenge is usually to remember the arrangement in the correct order. Luckily, I can usually rely on my more studious bandmates to have done that for me.

As far as the rehearsals go, I don't want to give the wrong impression. In fifteen years with this group I think I've been to 8 rehearsals, and the first one wasn't until I'd been in the group for at least five. Advancing age has its drawbacks, but experience sure helps you learn more quickly.

I'm not sure there's any combination of instruments that has NOT tackled that one.

My favorite by far is Dixie Power Trio, a local Baltimore group composed of tuba, cornet, and banjo. Definitely worth a listen!

Well, I just about fell off my chair laughing thinking of that "strangled falsetto" improv.

Sounds like you have a great play-by-ear talent. I can hear if a song is C05, 1-6-2-5, etc. and can recognize a diminished (b9) chord when I hear one, but that's about it.

As my dad always says, "Why waste a good performance on a rehearsal?"

I was forced to have a rehearsal this morning. My Mother's Day Concert is on Sunday, and these events involve music (no rehearsal necessary) and text from my books in two languages (rehearsal necessary). But I work with this very talented German actress named Heike Bänsch and she always nails everything in the first run-through. No hysterics, no diva fits, or, as my Irish friend says, "no one throwing a floppy."

I hardly ever sing (I write lyrics for real singers), but for this program I am intending to sing one song at the end. Might as well stir things up a bit. The lyric fell into my head a few weeks ago. The song has a James Taylor vibe.

Happy Mother's Day.

Mother’s Hands
©2010 Robin Meloy Goldsby
Bass Lion Publishing

Mother’s hands, they teach me,
They’re small, and yet they reach me,
I love the way her fingers stretch and curl.
Her hands are sometimes worried,
Other times unhurried,
The part of her that still remains a girl.

Her hands are never resting,
They're worn out from requesting,
Asking more than hands alone can hold,
Sheltering her garden from the cold.

Her hands are on my shoulder,
Standing guard like love’s last soldier,
Rough in spots, they smell like rose and sage.
On days when she feels tired,
And more or less inspired,
They barely lift to gently turn the page.

Her hands are never resting,
They're worn out from requesting,
And pointing out a million stupid things,
They flutter like a fallen angel's wings.

She taught me what I know,
Hold on, but still let go,
So I wave hello, with hands that look like hers.
I wave goodbye, with hands that look like hers.

nice poem (lyrics)

I'm almost finished with Piano Girl. I am struck that in the lives of artists, the very rich and the very seedy happen to meet. .. often.

That's about it, for now. As a brief survey of posts on this very group will attest, there are lots of people who would love to be able to learn by ear at your current level, but have not yet developed the skill. What you can already do can seem like a magic trick to a musician who is still unable to play anything without sheet music.

I am good at playing by ear; even at playing by "ear" from the memory of what a song sounds like. I'm better at it than most people, even those who are better musicians otherwise. I don't know how much of that (if any) is due to any innate tendencies. Maybe there are inherent differences in potential. But I know too many people who do all their music learning by ear to accept that it requires a rare gift of some sort.

You've already unlocked the door, which seems to be the hardest part. I encourage you to play along with records you like. Concentrate on the melody and bass notes. Leaving aside that "Colour My World" is all arpeggios, which actually makes it a little simpler, try to hear how the melody and bass define the basic chords.

The first line melody is C F G A, with an F bass note. Can you see that an F Major of some sort is very very likely?
The next bass note is A. The words "Just What You.." are on the melody notes A Bb C. That C, with an A bass strongly suggests a minor, doesn't it? The next bass note, Bb, pretty much only has a Bb melody note over it, which doesn't help us define the chord. But we still have a strong "feeling" of being in the key of F Major, don't we? Lets use Bb Major.

The next chord has an Eb bass note, and a G in the melody ("Me"). Probably Eb Major, right? But now let's listen to the actual arpeggio. We had been playing the Bb Major in the second inversion on the previous chord, and I think you can hear that only one note has changed in the Right Hand. The first note of the arpeggio has changed from F to G, giving us an Eb Major, with a Major 7th and a ninth. (G Bb D F).

Next line. "...now, now that you're...". That's C, Eb C Ab, over an Ab bass note. Now there's a well-defined chord, wouldn't you say?

"...here...promise your..." Bb melody, Gb bass. Gb Major of some kind, got it?

"...love, that I'm waiting to..."
...A, D E F# G A... melody, D bass. Can you see the likely chord here? (not all the melody notes have to be in the chord, but what scale are we singing?)

Now "Colour My World" won't sound right with just Major and minor triads, and in this example, the "color tones" (7ths, 9ths, etc.) tend not to be suggested in the melody. The "Melody + Bass Notes" method won't always give you every nuance of every chord. But you can usually get the "framework" of Majors and minors, which is most of the battle.

The best thing about this "method" (I don't consciously do what I'm describing here, BTW, but I think it may be what underlies my ability to recognize chords "automatically") is that it uses the parts of the music that are the easiest to hear and remember. Many people get stuck trying to identify what a "chord" instrument is playing. In a dense pop mix, this can be pretty difficult. But if you're listening for the Melody, the Bass and thirdly the general "flavor" of chord, you don't need to identify the "interior" notes individually.

Once you have your "framework", you will then have to accustom your ear to recognize the sound of certain chord forms, such as Major 7ths, which is what most of the "Majors" in this song are . But can you hear that the last chord mentioned (the D...something) is "different" sounding than most of the others; that it's a dom7 instead?

Try the last few chords. Once you have the basics, PLAY ALONG with the record. I can't stress that part enough. You're not learning a trick, or even a technique; you're laying down data points, thousands of them, slowly building the "feel" for music and chords that we call "playing by ear". <Yoda> There is no "knowing how" -- many of us can't easily describe how we do it -- there is only the doing, over and over, until you can do it too. </Yoda>

Earlier this evening my mother was recounting her attempt to learn her grandmother's "recipe" for a certain Greek cookie. Of course, she got frustrated, because her grandmother didn't have a recipe; a set of discrete instructions that would yield a good batch. In a sense, she didn't know how to make the cookies, she could, however, do it. My mother was looking for a shortcut, a way to reduce the cookies to an algorithm, rather than learn as her grandmother must have, helping out her own mother dozens upon dozens of times. Is the batter too wet, too dry, sweet enough, etc.? She could "feel" it.

Don't think you've reached the end of your potential in this area (or any area, really). Do more of it.

And now an aside on the disconnect between the merits of a performance and the appreciation of the audience. Back in the Jurassic era, when "Colour My World" was new, my band played it, a lot. Our guitarist knew it on piano, and sang it pretty well. This afforded me the opportunity to play the flute solo on flute, an instrument I had only the barest acquaintance with. I'd spend four sets burnin' it up (as much as my 17 year-old skills would allow, anyway) on my main instrument, but on breaks I'd invariably hear "Hey man,I like that flute". Drunks oblivious to forty songs I played on Rhodes would still remember two dozen notes from a shiny silver object.

MAY 8th has come and gone. I truly believe that every musician in Germany was busy. Even my kids had gigs.

Here is my Dresden wedding report.

I got up at 5 AM and drove to the Cologne airport, got on a 6:50 AM flight to Dresden. The groom himself picked me up at the airport, then drove me into Dresden and gave me a one hour speed-tour of the city, which I truly appreciated, even though I was suffering from sleep deprivation. Germany has spent a lot of money reconstructing the city (it was blown to smithereens during WW2) and it has been restored to its former glory.

We left the city and headed to the wedding site, a small villa situated at the base of a vineyard. The groom is a internationally-Known sommelier, so the selection of the site was perfect. Piano (lovely Bechstein) arrived at 10, along with a technician. Ceremony was to be held outside.

Now. My husband and I have a theory that there are maybe two days a year when it's appropriate to hold a party outside. It's always too hot, too cold, too windy, too wet, too, too, too something. But yesterday was one of the good days. Bright blue sky, slight breeze, and 75 degrees. Perfect.

I was given a room in the villa, upstairs by the bride's apartment, so I was privy to all of the last minute bride hysteria. I had forgotten what that's like. You'd think the fate of the world depended on the perfect eye shadow color. The bride, in this case, was Portuguese, so she was by nature more relaxed than the standard lady in white.

Ceremony started at noon. Everyone (60 people) arrived en masse from a neighboring villa. I played as they came in and were seated.

During the ceremony I was asked to play the following:

Pachelbel Canon in D (can’t escape it, but really, there are worse fates). This was the processional. The bride’s dress was so poofy that she kept catching her feet in it, so her father spent the enter time on his hands and knees, adjusting her dress as she walked down the aisle. It was one of the most touching things I’ve seen in a long time.

A River Flows in You (I was the first on the block to learn it a year ago when my teenage daughter flipped over the Twilight movie. NOTE: I predict this will overtake the Canon as the number 1 wedding ceremony request, so if you’re not playing it yet, get cracking---it has four chords and you’ll be able to learn it in three and a half minutes.

Bach Air on a G String (as a former stripping pianist, don’t get me started about that title. I play an improvised fake book version of the piece, but it sounds really pretty and it feels good).

Lerbach Nocturne (always nice when the happy couple requests something I have written. This piece is on one of my CDs, which is what got me the gig in the first place)

Your Song (the Elton John classic. I learned it by ear years ago and even though I have my husband the Chord Doctor here to help me, I've never quite gotten the right voicing for that refrain, so the following lyric always runs through my mind while I'm playing: " And you can tell everybody, that the chord isn't right. It still sounds awfully funny, though I've practiced all night. I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that the chord isn't right . . . ."

Somewhere in Time (insert drummer jokes, here, please)

The pastor made time in the ceremony for each of these pieces, so it was really like a little concert in the middle of a wedding. Aside from a few ants that made their way on the keys, the day was unmarred by critters. Too early in the season for the wasps to come out. The sun was warm on my back, the rows of grape vines stretched out like a sentry in perfect formation, a feeling of something beautiful—let’s call it hope—lingered in the early spring air.

I was back home by 7:30 PM, tired, but feeling like I had done something worthwhile. Every so often, as musicians, it’s crucial to be reminded that what we do has a little bit of magic attached to it, and that when all the other elements are in place, it’s not just a job, but an honor to play.

Will post about the Mother's Day concert later! I'm in recovery mode.

xoxo

I admit I am having some trouble picturing the mechanics of this one.

I'm a beginner at piano but have played trombone since the 60's. I've always sightread exceptionally well and assumed playing by ear was simply beyond me. My brief efforts always ended up as a train wreck.

But in my 50's I ended up directing a Praise & Worship band in a local church, and played a bit of trombone with them. Much of the music was just guitar chords and words, not even a lead sheet. To my surprise I could do it, as long as I could really get the tune in my head. Not having the stand and sheet music in the way made the experience better and the connection to the audience more direct.

I don't know what made the difference, and I probably would have said I was too old to learn. Maybe we're never too old! I haven't added that skill on piano yet but I'm hopeful, if I'm granted enough time <grin>.

I think that a groom giving a one-hour tour to a pretty blonde on his wedding day is not a good omen for his marriage.

It warms my heart to know there TWO trombone players contributing to this thread.

Very funny, Al! But our tour-guide groom was a perfect gentleman. And I genuinely think he wanted to show off his city. But I also kept wondering if maybe he should have been conducting tours three hours before his wedding. At one point we were standing in a craft market place looking at BIRDHOUSES. Of all things.

The details of the stripping pianist story are in a chapter of Piano Girl called GYPSY, TEMPEST, and ME.. In 1980 I had a three month stint in a Burlesque show as the featured stripper. I played a Chopin Nocturne then stood up and stripped. You must trust me on this—it was a classy strip act. Right.

But that was three decades ago. Now I've graduated from stripper to wedding pianist. If I was younger I could probably book some bachelor party piano gigs, not that any of those bachelor party places have grand pianos.

"...now I've graduated from stripper to wedding pianist. If I was younger I could probably book some bachelor party piano gigs, not that any of those bachelor party places have grand pianos."

Well they would, if they got the idea the lid was going to open up and a hottie was going to come out.

You'll have another situation on your hands, though, with the piano rental folks. They are highly polarized on the issue of pianos which are returned containing sequins, feathers, and pasties.

Years ago, I used to be buddies with some of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Part of my popularity (let's face it) was because I owned a pick-up truck; ever so handy for getting materiel to and from gigs. As goes the pick-up, so goes the piano: let a drag queen in your car and you will never get all the sequins and glitter out. Ever.

How things fare with the piano renters depends on the reaction of the next customer, who finds that overlooked pastie in some cranny.

There's a country song in this story; Keith Urban or George Straight could bring down the house. Maybe at a private party.

Ah. My apologies. I was trying to picture someone playing accompaniment while stripping, and not having much luck.

Do you suppose the groom who did the tour knew that story? Inquiring minds etc.

There was a thread on this board entitled something like, "What piece to play to impress a girl?". How to impress guys? A Chopin Nocturne, apparently.

Thanks so much, Greg, for the helpful tips. I can usually recognize the general sound/flavor of certain chords like Maj7th/Maj9th chords (dreamy), minor and dim/7b9 chords (mysterious/dramatic), b9#11 chords (dissonant/jazzy), etc. That's a good idea to focus on the bass together with the melody first. The play by ear courses say match long melody notes with chords, but that doesn't work well if that long melody note is an extension note.


Well, now I feel a little better that someone who is so accomplished and plays as beautifully as you, Robin, has occasional chord trouble. Nice to have a "Chord Doctor" around, though.