Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum Infuriatingly Cheap Parents

...who live in gated communities, own lexuses, have stable professions in engineering and law, and pay long term for weekly lesson who will NOT BUY A PIANO. Not even a weighted keyboard. Not even a keyboard with dynamics or pedals. Not even a four octave keyboard.

I'm wondering if this is a trend with some other teachers as much as it is with me.
I travel to a lot of houses, and my most talented students have parents who will simply not buy pianos, or even a full sized weighted keyboard. This is particularly frustrating to me, since after driving to their house (waiting at security at their gated communities), I cannot even introduce the concept of dynamics, or talk about the pedal. They don't even have correct music stands, and when I reach over to mark in the score my arm brushes against some moronic button that starts blasting a rock tune.

Their responses when I bring it up:

"We know it's important. Our budget just really isn't stable right now. Definitely in the future we will get one"

"He just doesn't practice. Once he starts proving that he takes his piano lessons seriously be practicing voluntarily, then we'll think about getting a piano."

"We will, it's just been so busy, but we'll get one soon!" (To which they have not)

FYI, these are ALL students who live very affluent areas.

I was talking to another teacher about this, she said what I really need to do is offer an ultimatum: Get a piano by this date, or the lessons stop. Period. I'll likely have to take on this tone soon enough (although I'd really rather not because it would mean a very strict and unpleasant encounter with otherwise actually great and supportive parents) but I wanted to get advice from all you fine teachers first.

The frustrating irony of my situation is that these particular students happen to be my most talented. The one family I had who actually went out and bought a piano (plus my in-home students that have real pianos), are not as bright or into it as this said group.

You know, max, that you could simply not accept such students in the first place. That's the most obvious response to your post. You bear the responsibility for getting yourself into this annoying fix.

Or else you could simply walk away from such families after a month or two, just after you have started to bond with them. Tell them you would be delighted to resume lessons once they have acquired an acceptable instrument. Be both sweet and firm. Bring them a sheet you have prepared of cost options for various keyboard upgrades, and the business cards of a couple of instrument dealers.

But I daresay it won't help, and you won't hear again from most of them.

That's a pretty unnecessary comment, Mose. I'm young, I relocated to a new area two years ago and started on with whatever those I could find. It beat Starbucks, and now some kids know how to read music who couldn't. I don't know what kind of fairy tail world you are imagining where a new teacher can set up shop and perfect students with ideal instruments come prancing through the door immediately. As I mentioned they are good students who follow directions and understand and do what I tell them so I'd rather work with this - I've eliminated more than a good share of students for other, more irrevocable reasons.

It's a bit of a catch 22 situation. I can understand that parents don't want to spend money on a piano until they know their kids are serious. But without a good instrument to practice on they are unlikely to ever make progress in the first place.

I do find myself recommending digitals as a starting point with a view to upgrading to an acoustic if things go well. It's nice when they decide to purchase a piano but as you say quite rare nowadays.

A very successful local shop here lets households rent to buy new Yamaha pianos. For a small monthly payment the piano is delivered the same day and they can return the instrument after as short of a time as six months with no penalty. After five years of rental payments the instrument is theirs to keep for a price that is equivalent to the pre-haggling 10 to 20% off.

Perhaps you can find a local store that can make a similar proposition to these households. Many on the surface apparently affluent families in America and a few other Western countries are living hopelessly above their means, socially isolated in their asocial, third-world-inspired gated communities and materialistic junk-filled McMansions. They may not want to commit to a piano until their kid is committed but they might also just not have the cash.

Yes; the living above means is also what I have sensed in a few. The rental proposal still falls flat on them.

They may know that their credit is no longer even good enough to qualify for the rent to buy credit check....

Make sure that they are paying for their lessons in advance or immediately following the lesson. No sense exposing yourself to any losses.

The other thing to mention to them is that there is a pretty good resale value on decent keyboard instruments.

Maybe ask them if they think it would be appropriate to practise their golf swing with one of those executive desktop toys? Or learn tennis on Wii Sports?

When it comes to driving lessons, maybe they think it would be fine to practice by playing Outrun a lot.

Lean soccer by kicking a tennis ball around the back yard. In school shoes.

Etc, etc

At the risk of sounding MegaSnarky( I truely don't mean it that way), I have to ask, exactly what do you cover in a lesson where there is NO piano or keyboard of any kind? And why would they have a music stand if they don't have an instrument? Are there other musical instruments in the home? How are you determining these students are your most talented?
[/quote]

<snip some excuses>



Doesn't practice on WHAT for goodness sake?

This post is just so off the hook to me, I can't parse it well I suppose. No offense intended by this reply Opus

Lately I do my ultimatum at the start. You have a cheap keyboard and don't want the financial outlay till you know if little Sebastian will take to it. Give it 6 months only and make up your minds. Either quit, or buy.

It does help that the cheapest weighted and graded keyboard they can get now is £400 inc stool and stand.

I have another problem though. Those with acoustics won't bother getting them tuned.

One of the first questions I ask new/prospective students is "What do you have for a piano in the home?"

If they do not have at least a decent digital piano, or an acoustic that has been tuned sometime in this century, I simply tell them that a piano is a necessity for lessons to begin, just as owning a uniform and associated gear is a necessity for participation in a team sport, for example.

It has never worked out that students make any progress whatsoever without a home piano/keyboard.

All your concerns are valid, but the reality is lots of kids lose interest in different interests, hobbies and sports. Focus your attention on the student, you are there for him. You didn't mention his age - only child?

One way that might not be quite truthful is to approach it from, Your child has so much talent, that sadly, will never be grown because he needs xyz.

Many parents are easily swayed by "talent" comments.

<snip some excuses>



Doesn't practice on WHAT for goodness sake?

This post is just so off the hook to me, I can't parse it well I suppose. No offense intended by this reply Opus [/quote]

Sorry, if it wasn't clear - They all DO have keyboards to practice on, but
very bad ones. Very simple keyboards that have a few octaves of black and white keys, but with no dynamic settings, nor any pedal or weighted keys. So they can play most pieces out of method books, but only in the most elementary way. something like this

http://www.guitarcenter.com/Casio-L...69.gc?source=4WWRWXGP&kpid=108258641

Or try an end-around move, skipping the parents. Keep telling affluent little 10yo Billy or Olga that you can't understand why their parents are so cheap, when they obviously have loads of money and when their son or daughter has so much musical talent and could really go places on the piano.

Tell little Billy or Olga that you teach lots of kids in the neighborhood, and they all have much better electric pianos, even though they are less talented.

If this message comes to the parents from little Billy or Olga, it might work better than from the piano teacher.

Opus:

Just accept these students as "expensive babysitting." Sooner or later their parents' lack of priorities will manifest itself in the form of "we quit." Take the $$$ while they are still willing to cough it up. Really, think of clients like this as money cows and offer as little instruction as your conscience allows you to provide.

It is definitely not your fault that they don't care about piano. I also teach quite a few students in gated communities, and the condition of their pianos will make you laugh. I'm talking about folks who make six figures a year (often double-income, with both parents making that much) who can't spare $5,000 to buy a decent upright. Or, the piano they already own is basically a piece of furniture to match the rest of the living room's decor. Interestingly, their kids are also by far my worst students.

High parental income does not equal high interest in piano. More than often, they're just getting their kids piano lessons to keep up with everybody else in the neighborhood.

Pour your energy into kids and families who actually care about piano.

It's also frustrating when parents of average income simply don't value music enough. That's the crux of the problem, rich or poor.

I actually believe a good number of parents WANT piano to end; they're just waiting for their child to come to the same conclusion as they play a keyboard with 61 keys. Heck, I would have quit under those circumstances.

Let's look at what success entails: some 15 or 20 years of piano lessons, a cost in time and money. Not only that, the child is not available when s/he practices the piano. They can't help around the house. They can't play in the three-ring circus known as their parents' lives. Okay, maybe that's going a bit far. Ha ha! But it can be said that piano takes the child away from whatever the parents find important and meaningful. It simply isn't in the parent's repertoire of activities, anymore that coddling a guinea pig, or flying to Hawaii is in my world.

As for musicians in general, we are constantly being reminded of our lowly position in life. This week, I played a funeral in a small gathering place in a room outside of the sacristy of a funeral home in which the smaller memorials take place. The people had to bring their own keyboard for me to play on. Why wouldn't a funeral home have several keyboards? Because music is the lowest need.

Look at competitions like the Van Cliburn. What they're really saying is "You can have a concert career if you're one of the "chosen" few. The reason? We, the public, can only handle so much good music, and at that, played by only so many good musicians. Our ears cannot be taxed to listen to every concert artist, only the good ones. We ourselves wouldn't have the time or inclination to determine which are good. So we wait til the results are in from competitions, and place our trust in them.

Anyhow, why do people fund music only when somebody dies, and such dreary music at that? Like I said, the non-musicians, jealous by nature, want us to be put in our places.

Those rich folks want you the piano teacher to be on the level of their cleaning lady, and by all accounts, they're succeeding.

I actually have dropped students who promised to get a piano and didn't after a year. (It's easy to say you'll practice at grandma's, but it often doesn't happen.) But I understand why you won't do this when you don't have a waiting list yet. Soon you will have more flexibility to do so. Be patient!

Com’on, Candywoman, you sound like a starving artist.
Calm down, let me give you a hug.

We are actually living in an age that society gives the highest level of support to art and artists, more than any point in the human history.

Yes, people pay their midwife, farmer, dentist, plumber, and mortician before they pay an artist.
It is only since the last century that an average family can afford a piano and a piano teacher. And people in general do think highly about music teachers.

Before you cry it is unfair, just remember, you are making living by you are doing something you love (making music), and most people by doing something they hate. Do you want to switch position with a plumber? They likely get higher pay, just saying.

And no one "jealous by nature", wants to "put you in your place". Just that you are probably misplacing yourself.

these same affluent parents are putting their kids in the best schools ( I assume).. unfortunately, playing an instrument is not generally considered into a well rounded education anymore..