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#2071929 - 04/27/13 03:23 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Does anybody think I'm infatuated with her? Somebody mentioned it in the other forum. I'm concerned... XX"

Btw I have all the responses in a notebook, needa type up. Goingoinggoinggg~~


Edited by Musiqientist (04/27/13 04:38 AM)
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#2071931 - 04/27/13 03:31 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: keystring]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: keystring
My gut feeling is that she is deliberately keeping you on edge, but I have no way of knowing.


If I gave you a lot more intel you could know with time? It seems like you could. There's a lot of them, I think it's doable.

Quote:
What you are describing fits more with what might happen between an advanced, well-trained student going for a profession - because that kind of behaviour does happen there, but not for someone who has been playing a year.


Yeah. I like it in some ways because i feel efficient, sometimes feels unfair.
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#2071933 - 04/27/13 03:36 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: ten left thumbs]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: ten left thumbs
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist

At the moment I've been playing for about a year solid and am currently working on a Mozart Concerto, 2 grade 9 solos, 2 Chopin etudes, and an easier piece by Bach.


You've been doing what??!! After playing for a year? Did you sleep at all, or eat, during this year?


No I'm fact for most of it I didn't even manage 30 minutes a day. I consider myself learning for a year averaging about 20 minutes. That's going to jump to 3 hours minimum now though... Technically it just hit 2 years but with the first year I studied violin and piano with the same teacher and majority of the time we never reached the piano because she was a violinist and would kill all the time with only violin. When we did reach it we would have 15 minutes... I probably practiced 4 times the whole year... Lol so I think it's more logical to say one year. I couldn't even read the base clef until one year ago ... I was too busy for ,
music unfortunately. Shouldn't have let it happen.
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#2071934 - 04/27/13 03:43 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: BrainCramp]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: BrainCramp
Musi,

I think you should stop trying to "read your teacher's mind". The teacher works for YOU, you don't work for the teacher.

The length of your posts makes me think you're over-thinking the situation.

If the teacher's behavior is causing you to spend so much time agonizing over things like this, you should just talk to her bluntly about it.

You, or your parents, are paying this teacher to help your musical development. If something is getting in the way of that, it should be discussed.

Forget that the teacher went to Juilliard. That means she was a great student. Now, I'm sure she wants to be a great teacher.

Tell her what you need from her in order to feel comfortable. Try to sum it up in specific suggestions/issues that she can act on.

If the basic problem is that you're in awe of someone who went to Juilliard, find a teacher who didn't.



No not until I'm a good player, then it will be safe. There is not such thing as over thinking. I can figure it out. There's a reason for everything. Anybody would agonize over my impossible situation. Nothing is getting in the way of the actual playing, I'm still practicing what she says.

My violin teacher didn't go to Juilliard. I was still in awe.

Telling her to make things comfortable is weak....
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#2071935 - 04/27/13 03:47 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: LoPresti]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: LoPresti
Originally Posted By: rocket88
What an awesome thread!

Yup! Every so often we find a thread that is "special", and stands out from the rest in some particular, unique aspect. This is one such thread.

KeyString -- you have the patience of Job!
Ed


More dramatic threads comin'

Topics include:
- why my violin teacher dropped me. (I'm serious!)
-which instrument to specialize in
-do I have a chance to join an orchestra despite starting at 16.
-how to stop being jealous of early starters
-scared to practice in front of parents
..... Yep ..


Edited by Musiqientist (04/27/13 04:39 AM)
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#2071936 - 04/27/13 03:47 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: albynism]
Musiqientist Offline
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Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: albynism
You are already getting good replies here and over at the other forum. But let me tell you a story,

I have a teacher similar to yours, she never praise me and I always tried to impress her every lesson. I thought that I am the most advance student in her class. Then the student recital came, and indeed I was the most advance student who gets to play last and has the most difficult pieces. to cut the story short I gave the most disastrous performance out of her entire students, I glanced behind me as soon as I "finish" and she covered her face with her hands. I was so embarassed I went home and locked myself in my room the entire day, my reputation of her model student is tarnished. Next lesson she goes, hmm your performance... It was interesting.. but at least we know now what we need to work on. From then on I stopped trying to impress my teacher, break down my barrier, and really just play and try to show all my weaknesses so she can correct them. all my nervousness playing in front of her has disappear, she knows what my level is and everything is now transparent. I recently performed again in a competition (after much hesitation) and won second place.

She is still an enigmatic lady. But I don't care anymore, I'm paying her to learn to improve my playing, what she thinks of me is not of importance.


That's pretty inspiring. smile
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#2071937 - 04/27/13 03:49 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Polyphonist]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: Polyphonist
I don't think you realize that it's almost 5:00 AM and I have to get up tomorrow (well, today) at 7:30.


Will you be well rested in the near future??? :pppp
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#2071939 - 04/27/13 04:23 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
landorrano Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 2443
Loc: France
Good morning, Musiqientist. I am sorry to break it to you, but to me everything that you describe sounds great. GREAT !!! It appears to me that you have found a fabulous teacher. She sounds like a lovely person and you seem to me to have a wonderful relationship with her.

Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
Although sometimes I ask a question and she tells me not to argue, though on occasion I stump her with a new idea and get her to smile at me. Then she peeks looks at me for the rest of the lesson.


Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
She’s quite motherly too.


Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
Does anybody think I'm infatuated with her?


Definitely ...

... and I offer you my felicitations! You have every reason to be infatuated ... and every unreason too! Your feelings are strong and complex, even contradictory ... but don't lose courage. You need courage in life, you know.

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#2071942 - 04/27/13 04:32 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: landorrano]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: landorrano
Good morning, Musiqientist. I am sorry to break it to you, but to me everything that you describe sounds great. GREAT !!! It appears to me that you have found a fabulous teacher. She sounds like a lovely person and you seem to me to have a wonderful relationship with her.

Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
Although sometimes I ask a question and she tells me not to argue, though on occasion I stump her with a new idea and get her to smile at me. Then she peeks looks at me for the rest of the lesson.


Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
She’s quite motherly too.


Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
Does anybody think I'm infatuated with her?


Definitely ...

... and I offer you my felicitations! You have every reason to be infatuated ... and every unreason too! Your feelings are strong and complex, even contradictory ... but don't lose courage. You need courage in life, you know.





== yes or no. Give a serious explanation too because what you, listed above is not enough. Thing is my feelings tend to be strong and intense with most people in my life and I do that quite purposefully...I CAN'T BE IN LOVE WITH EVERYONE CAN I??? X_X erm yeah anyways glad your less pessimistic about me staying with her. :pp

I like strong feelings. View enneagram type 4. That's what I am. Psychology 2nd hobby.
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#2071943 - 04/27/13 04:35 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Whizbang]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Quote:
Unfortunately, you don't get to know that.


I was afraid of that. But surely there is a way to know if I have a decent chance?

Quote:
I don't like the teacher-student dynamic that you've described, and if you were just intending to ultimately play for pleasure, I would categorize it as dysfunctional.


I guess you could say I'm not ultimately playing for pleasure when there is a desire to have a career in it. I wanna be a concert pianist.

Quote:
Putting the best possible spin on the dynamic you've described, I would say that your teacher is showing tough love. Your posts come off as incredibly insecure. Maybe I'm projecting too much of my own personality into what I'm reading.


I think they look insecure too, this is such an awkward topic for me somehow.

Quote:
Thing is, as a performer, you don't get the luxury of being insecure. Well, that's not quite right. You can be an insecure wreck, but in public and professionally, you need to project confidence. You've got to convince whoever is going to hire you or represent you as an artist or promote you that you are the real deal, that you've got chops, and that you can sell your music. If you don't seem confident in yourself, how the heck can you expect other people to be confident in you?

Furthermore, your inner critic is going to always be nagging away. Even if you perform smashingly, it'll tell you, "Well, they didn't really like that; they're just being polite." For at least a while, you're NOT going to know whether you'll make it and you're NOT going to know whether people like your music, and, in the meantime, this means 1) work like heck on your chops and musicality and 2) fake confidence until you make it. It means performing with self-confidence even if in your heart of hearts you think everyone hates your music.


Yeah I think maybe that's why I admire her. She's the musician personality. Drama, facade, and everything. I'll be confident when I catch up to people playing 12 years to my 1 year.
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#2071944 - 04/27/13 04:37 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Quote:
Looking at your teacher's actions in the best light, her telling you "If you quit for a while, I won't take you back" is a way of saying "The world isn't going to consider it a great tragedy if you give up piano and come back two weeks later and go 'Musiqientist, we were wrong to let you quit! Come back, come back...'" The world will just move on to something else. If you're going after a career as a performer, then you have to pursue it under your own volition and in the face of many, many things to get discouraged about. And, in the context of a career, if you, say, canceled a scheduled gig because you weren't feeling motivated, would the folks putting up the money for publicity and the venue be at all interested in giving you a second chance?


Yeah that made me think she's not interested in my growth or development at all. And why should she? When she has taught so many students of all kinds? When she told me that it's like she confirmed my fears of never being able to be a musician because i started late. Think that if I can't even please her, why would the world be interested?

But at the same time, it didn't sound truthful from her. Isn't it rude to talk like that even if say I was leaving? No goodbye, no questions? Nothing?

Quote:
In short, you need to man up.

This means working really hard on your chops. It means listening to your teacher's guidance. It means going into your lessons -welcoming- criticisms and nitpicking. It means not giving up, and it means picking yourself up after you fall. Every time you fall.


Yeah, I definitely need to change. But I need to pick an instrument first!

Quote:
Given all the above, it's possible that this teacher may not be the right fit for you, at which point a certain calculus enters the equation.


I do not want to leave her, I'm pretty attached to her honestly. She already feels like a significant other. I feel this way to all the music teachers I've had for a sustained period of time and it takes me a long time to get used to them. I just broke in with her, I think it's going to be fine. It has improved so drastically much.

Quote:
Will having studied under this teacher and earned a recommendation from this teacher help you get into the conservatory of your choice? If you were to alienate this teacher, would it harm your chances of getting into the conservatory of your choice? If it is a poor fit, will you be able to develop the technique and musicality you need to become a professional musician?


Potentially, I know that of I get to a certain stage she will be very committed. I don't think she's aware of my goals. Is 1 year a long wait to tell her?

Quote:
To be a professional, you quite simply need to own it.


You mean to perform right?
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#2071945 - 04/27/13 04:45 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: landorrano]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: landorrano
Good morning, Musiqientist. I am sorry to break it to you, but to me everything that you describe sounds great. GREAT !!! It appears to me that you have found a fabulous teacher. She sounds like a lovely person and you seem to me to have a wonderful relationship with her.

Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
Although sometimes I ask a question and she tells me not to argue, though on occasion I stump her with a new idea and get her to smile at me. Then she peeks looks at me for the rest of the lesson.


Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
She’s quite motherly too.


Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
Does anybody think I'm infatuated with her?


Definitely ...

... and I offer you my felicitations! You have every reason to be infatuated ... and every unreason too! Your feelings are strong and complex, even contradictory ... but don't lose courage. You need courage in life, you know.





NONO!!!! I mean in love like a crush!!!!!
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#2071991 - 04/27/13 08:34 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
keystring Online   content
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 11190
Loc: Canada
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist

Quote:
KeyString -- you have the patience of Job!


Yeah, still finding time for a good reply. Hoping to get more responses like key strings.

The best reply you can give is to work with anything that is pertinent. If it's "Concentrate on the task and ignore the teacher." then try doing that and see what happens. If it improves things then you know you have one solution. If it doesn't, then you know it wasn't on track.

Studying an instrument by and large involves working on smaller, ordinary seeming tasks one by one - such as not flubbing that C# in D major or concentrating on lifting the pedal at the right time. Broad concepts and how we feel about things both do play a role, but the way to actually move forward is through the concrete. So anyone with some experience will be looking for actions and results (positive and negative).

(Btw, I'm reading these in order and am about 2 pages back right now.)

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#2071997 - 04/27/13 08:41 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
keystring Online   content
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 11190
Loc: Canada
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Having learned the importance of counting these things from Polyphonist - I think it's 18, but my eyesight is bad.

Cum grano salis, PP, ablative case and all. wink

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#2072023 - 04/27/13 09:48 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
malkin Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/18/09
Posts: 2206
Loc: *sigh* Salt Lake City
Continue with your teacher for piano and seek a counselor or psychologist for help with some of your other issues.
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#2072084 - 04/27/13 12:12 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: malkin]
BrainCramp Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/09/12
Posts: 218
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: malkin
Continue with your teacher for piano and seek a counselor or psychologist for help with some of your other issues.


Yes, this is the best advice.

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#2072122 - 04/27/13 01:25 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: BrainCramp]
ezpiano.org Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 05/10/11
Posts: 958
Loc: Irvine, CA
Originally Posted By: BrainCramp
Originally Posted By: malkin
Continue with your teacher for piano and seek a counselor or psychologist for help with some of your other issues.


Yes, this is the best advice.


I agree.
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#2072133 - 04/27/13 01:46 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: malkin]
Toastie Offline
Full Member

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 208
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: malkin
Continue with your teacher for piano and seek a counselor or psychologist for help with some of your other issues.


Agreed.
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#2072139 - 04/27/13 01:54 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
There's like 2 of those issues where I might not post here and just go to a psych but so,e of them like which instrument to specialize in are gonna be here. I don't think chances are that a psych knows things like that.
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#2072142 - 04/27/13 01:55 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: keystring]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: keystring
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Having learned the importance of counting these things from Polyphonist - I think it's 18, but my eyesight is bad.

Cum grano salis, PP, ablative case and all. wink


I don't get it.
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#2072147 - 04/27/13 02:01 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: keystring]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Quote:

The best reply you can give is to work with anything that is pertinent. If it's "Concentrate on the task and ignore the teacher." then try doing that and see what happens. If it improves things then you know you have one solution. If it doesn't, then you know it wasn't on track.

Studying an instrument by and large involves working on smaller, ordinary seeming tasks one by one - such as not flubbing that C# in D major or concentrating on lifting the pedal at the right time. Broad concepts and how we feel about things both do play a role, but the way to actually move forward is through the concrete. So anyone with some experience will be looking for actions and results (positive and negative).


Yeah your right I was definitely looking for some concrete advice later on anyways. I think at first I wanted to have an emotional release . :p I wanted some concepts. 'M a scientist me likes concepts. About that "try to ignore the teacher" I'm a bit shy to show my interest.

Quote:
(Btw, I'm reading these in order and am about 2 pages back right now.)


Yes thank you, take your time.
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#2072154 - 04/27/13 02:17 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: keystring]
Polyphonist Online   content
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 03/03/13
Posts: 6418
Loc: New York City
Originally Posted By: keystring
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Having learned the importance of counting these things from Polyphonist - I think it's 18, but my eyesight is bad.

You are correct. ha

And what's more, you don't need good eyesight to count them: simply copy and paste them into some random text box (a document you can edit, a browser window, the "Quick Reply" window on PW) and then put your cursor at the end of the row and count how many times you press the delete key before all of them are gone. grin (I'm a genius, right? ha )
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Regards,

Polyphonist

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#2072163 - 04/27/13 02:35 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Polyphonist]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: Polyphonist
Originally Posted By: keystring
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Having learned the importance of counting these things from Polyphonist - I think it's 18, but my eyesight is bad.

You are correct. ha

And what's more, you don't need good eyesight to count them: simply copy and paste them into some random text box (a document you can edit, a browser window, the "Quick Reply" window on PW) and then put your cursor at the end of the row and count how many times you press the delete key before all of them are gone. grin (I'm a genius, right? ha )


Are you still sleepy and cranky?
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#2072176 - 04/27/13 02:47 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
Polyphonist Online   content
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 03/03/13
Posts: 6418
Loc: New York City
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
Originally Posted By: Polyphonist
Originally Posted By: keystring
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Having learned the importance of counting these things from Polyphonist - I think it's 18, but my eyesight is bad.

You are correct. ha

And what's more, you don't need good eyesight to count them: simply copy and paste them into some random text box (a document you can edit, a browser window, the "Quick Reply" window on PW) and then put your cursor at the end of the row and count how many times you press the delete key before all of them are gone. grin (I'm a genius, right? ha )


Are you still sleepy and cranky?

No, I'm trying to think of something to say that others haven't already said. Maybe I'll just make a compilation of tidbits from other people's posts. ha

By the way, where did you get that I was cranky? ha
_________________________
Regards,

Polyphonist

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#2072294 - 04/27/13 05:18 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
landorrano Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 2443
Loc: France
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist


NONO!!!! I mean in love like a crush!!!!!


Elementary, my dear! And at risk of repeating myself, I offer you my felicitations! Perfectly normal, and very encouraging. In all sincerity, I am very happy for you. Music is about human relationships, about communication. Music is love. With this teacher the door to music has opened for you ... don't be a ninny and push it shut. Place your entire confidence in this woman.

It is very important, don't lose courage. You need courage in life, you know.

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#2072296 - 04/27/13 05:21 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
landorrano Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 2443
Loc: France
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
Isn't it rude to talk like that even if say I was leaving? No goodbye, no questions? Nothing?


No it wasn't rude at all. It was you, the rude one, playing the capricious little gifted teenager. She called your bratty bluff!

I'm telling you, this lady sounds great to me. Hang on tight, kiddo!

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#2072363 - 04/27/13 07:00 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Polyphonist]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: Polyphonist
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
Originally Posted By: Polyphonist
Originally Posted By: keystring
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Having learned the importance of counting these things from Polyphonist - I think it's 18, but my eyesight is bad.

You are correct. ha

And what's more, you don't need good eyesight to count them: simply copy and paste them into some random text box (a document you can edit, a browser window, the "Quick Reply" window on PW) and then put your cursor at the end of the row and count how many times you press the delete key before all of them are gone. grin (I'm a genius, right? ha )


Are you still sleepy and cranky?

No, I'm trying to think of something to say that others haven't already said. Maybe I'll just make a compilation of tidbits from other people's posts. ha

By the way, where did you get that I was cranky? ha


I was just kidding mr. Grouch. Hehehe
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#2072366 - 04/27/13 07:10 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: landorrano]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: landorrano
[quote=Musiqientist]

NONO!!!! I mean in love like a crush!!!!!


Quote:
Elementary, my dear!


What does that mean!!!

Quote:
And at risk of repeating myself, I offer you my felicitations! Perfectly normal, and very encouraging. In all sincerity, I am very happy for you. Music is about human relationships, about communication. Music is love.


No that was what I thought you weren't answering my question!!! I mean like romantic love because its not normal to want to smooch a 65 year old!!!! And I don't know if that's what they mean by clutch!!!

Quote:
With this teacher the door to music has opened for you ... don't be a ninny and push it shut. Place your entire confidence in this woman.

It is very important, don't lose courage. You need courage in life, you know.


Wasn't planning on doing otherwise...
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#2072367 - 04/27/13 07:14 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: landorrano]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: landorrano
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
Isn't it rude to talk like that even if say I was leaving? No goodbye, no questions? Nothing?


No it wasn't rude at all. It was you, the rude one, playing the capricious little gifted teenager. She called your bratty bluff!

I'm telling you, this lady sounds great to me. Hang on tight, kiddo!


Wasn't playing anything!! I was gonna stop and I really did have difficult circumstances. And how did she know? Don't all music teachers have goodbye lessons? I think she did with some other students. You know...or something. What make you think she was playing me? I've been wondering about that forever.
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#2072455 - 04/27/13 10:01 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
keystring Online   content
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Posts: 11190
Loc: Canada
Concentrate on your music. Concentrate on specific things in your music as you practice and as you play in front of your teacher. If you do that everything else falls into place (assuming a decent teacher). Do not concentrate on the teacher or what the teacher is thinking. Do not worry about "being" a good musician, appearing to be a good musician, appearing to be a musician with promise, appearing to be a musician with no promise because you started late. Musicians don't spend any time "being". They spend their time "doing". Concentrate on doing the music. Begin with whatever your teacher has stressed. If you want to have a relationship, have that relationship with your work and your music.

And with that I'm done.

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