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#2072479 - 04/27/13 10:32 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: keystring]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: keystring
Concentrate on your music. Concentrate on specific things in your music as you practice and as you play in front of your teacher. If you do that everything else falls into place (assuming a decent teacher). Do not concentrate on the teacher or what the teacher is thinking. Do not worry about "being" a good musician, appearing to be a good musician, appearing to be a musician with promise, appearing to be a musician with no promise because you started late. Musicians don't spend any time "being". They spend their time "doing". Concentrate on doing the music. Begin with whatever your teacher has stressed. If you want to have a relationship, have that relationship with your work and your music.

And with that I'm done.


Ok thank you for your help. Would you say it's not good to have a relationship? You seem against it.
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#2072503 - 04/27/13 11:12 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
TimR Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/17/04
Posts: 3006
Loc: Virginia, USA
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
There's like 2 of those issues where I might not post here and just go to a psych but so,e of them like which instrument to specialize in are gonna be here. I don't think chances are that a psych knows things like that.


People here tend to answer the questions for which they have some expertise.

These answers are going to be good ones, mostly, because a lot of people here are pretty competent.

But in your case, the personal issues may be a bigger obstacle than the musical ones at this stage in your life. I think you may have to deal with them first. You can let the musical studies continue while you put other priorities where they belong. See the psych.
_________________________
gotta go practice

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#2072509 - 04/27/13 11:25 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: TimR]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: TimR
[quote=Musiqientist]There's like 2 of those issues where I might not post here and just go to a psych but so,e of them like which instrument to specialize in are gonna be here. I don't think chances are that a psych knows things like that.


People here tend to answer the questions for which they have some expertise.

Quote:
These answers are going to be good ones, mostly, because a lot of people here are pretty competent.


I noticed.

Quote:
But in your case, the personal issues may be a bigger obstacle than the musical ones at this stage in your life. I think you may have to deal with them first. You can let the musical studies continue while you put other priorities where they belong. See the psych.


You mean like affects of adolescence or that I just appear to have a lot of issues. It's just... I see people discussing personal things on here and other forums all the time. I will see a psych when I make time to schedule and appointment and when I finish 25 units of college....... My heads turning.
_________________________



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#2072538 - 04/28/13 12:21 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
AZNpiano Offline
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/07/07
Posts: 5279
Loc: Orange County, CA











Well, not really.

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Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member

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#2072565 - 04/28/13 12:52 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: AZNpiano]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: AZNpiano











Well, not really.



What was nice about it to begin with.
_________________________



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#2072578 - 04/28/13 01:26 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
AZNpiano Offline
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/07/07
Posts: 5279
Loc: Orange County, CA
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
What was nice about it to begin with.



Exactly.



_________________________
Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member

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#2072611 - 04/28/13 03:18 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: AZNpiano]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: AZNpiano
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
What was nice about it to begin with.



Exactly.





Oh so the earlier commend were all sarcasm? Sorry I'm a scientist + have no friends and therefore have no social skills. :pp

Are you azn then?
_________________________



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#2072635 - 04/28/13 05:20 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
landorrano Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 2443
Loc: France
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
I mean like romantic love because its not normal to want to smooch a 65 year old!!!!


Good morning.

There is nothing wrong with that. You want to think of yourself as "not normal"? Well, silly but nothing wrong with that either! I disagree with TimR's and others' statements that you have personal issues and that you need to see a psych. All that you write sounds fine to me. You seem like a great kid, and I'm happy to know you!


Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
And I don't know if that's what they mean by clutch!!!


I also don't know what they mean by "clutch" !



Edited by landorrano (04/28/13 05:20 AM)

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#2072636 - 04/28/13 05:22 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
landorrano Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 2443
Loc: France
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist


Wasn't playing anything!!


Yes you were, and to me it appears that you still are ... and if there is any obstacle to your progress, there it is!

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#2072639 - 04/28/13 05:39 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: keystring]
landorrano Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 2443
Loc: France
Originally Posted By: keystring
Concentrate on your music. Concentrate on specific things in your music as you practice and as you play in front of your teacher. If you do that everything else falls into place (assuming a decent teacher). Do not concentrate on the teacher or what the teacher is thinking. Do not worry about "being" a good musician, appearing to be a good musician, appearing to be a musician with promise, appearing to be a musician with no promise because you started late. Musicians don't spend any time "being". They spend their time "doing". Concentrate on doing the music. Begin with whatever your teacher has stressed. If you want to have a relationship, have that relationship with your work and your music.

And with that I'm done.


I agree heartily with Keystring's statements and I am happy to repeat them.

Except for the following:

Originally Posted By: keystring
If you want to have a relationship, have that relationship with your work and your music.


You do have a relationship with your teacher, and to me it sounds like a great relationship. She will let you know the day that there is a problem.

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#2072640 - 04/28/13 05:42 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
landorrano Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/26/06
Posts: 2443
Loc: France
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
Sorry I'm a scientist + have no friends and therefore have no social skills. :pp



Maybe, but you have a great sense of humour!

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#2072792 - 04/28/13 12:38 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
saerra Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 06/28/07
Posts: 842
Loc: Atlanta, GA
Oh my goodness. This thread is overwhelming.

I wanted to add my voice to those saying you should talk to a good therapist. The impression that I got from this thread is that you're spinning off in 20 different directions. I also think you've received a ton of advice that is exactly, 100% correct - but it seems to bounce off of you as you spin in a new direction. You keep saying, "tell me more!" and "what about this!" and even when Keystring said she was done responding, you tagged on a few more questions in your response.

A good therapist will help you understand how you process information, how you interact with others, why you seek approval, how you can be more confident and not need that approval, how to work more effectively towards your goals, etc.

I had one other thought for you, on this idea of wanting to know if you have the potential to be a pro at this.

The people who are successful in really difficult, competitive fields - don't generally ask people if they're going to be successful. They don't spend their time looking for approval or affirmation of their choices.

They CHOOSE it. They say, "I am going to be THIS." And then, they work their butts off to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

It's like the story of the guy who wanted to be a violinist. He had the chance to meet and play for a famous violinist who he admired greatly.

After playing he said, "Please, I respect you so much. I have to know... do I have what it takes to do this professionally?"

And the master said, "I am so sorry to tell you, but no, you do not. You should give up now." The man gave up, went off and got an ordinary job, and decades later, had the chance to talk to the famous violinist again.

This time he said, "You should never have told me to give up! I might have succeeded! You had no way of knowing if I would be any good" - and the famous violinist replied, "If you had what it took, you would have ignored what I said and kept going anyway."

I know, getting positive feedback from our teachers and those we respect is important, and encouraging. But if you choose to do this professionally, that has to come from inside of you. Having someone tell you that you're good enough is really pretty meaningless - it doesn't make the path easier, or the hours longer. It doesn't give you any shortcuts, the ONLY way you get to succeed is by working incredibly hard and staying focusing on achieving your goal.

OK, I had one more thought for you. At 17, you're on the verge of adulthood. I can't really tell from these posts exactly what the issue is with your teacher, but, I can tell you what your options, as an adult, are to deal with it.

1. You accept things are they are. Don't try to change the teacher, and stop going over and over this in your head. Make the best of what you have.

2. You talk to your teacher. You might ask for more feedback, or more encouragement, or whatever. You should know, just because you ask, doesn't mean you get. She might not be willing to give what you want/need, or might be unable to. But, it allows you to have an adult conversation about your needs, and how you are interacting.

3. You find a new teacher who you are able to work better with.

That's it! You get to pick which option is best for this situation. And you might mess up, because that's part of what happens to ALL of us, even when we get older. We're all constantly learning how to interact with others, how to be patient with others, how to help each other out, and what works.

Good luck to you.

Top
#2074204 - 04/30/13 01:33 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
Chris Goslow Offline
Full Member

Registered: 07/06/11
Posts: 49
Loc: California, USA
Try giving up the need for her approval. Approval-seeking behavior can be very destructive to your own happiness.

This teacher is there to help you. If she still works with you, she obviously thinks you are doing a good enough job. And you can only be helped in the long run by working with someone you admire.
_________________________
Pianist/Composer/Songwriter/Music Artist website: http://www.chrisgoslow.com
My Piano Teaching website: http://www.pianolessonsinsacramento.com

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#2074606 - 04/30/13 11:39 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: landorrano]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: landorrano
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
I mean like romantic love because its not normal to want to smooch a 65 year old!!!!


Good morning.

There is nothing wrong with that. You want to think of yourself as "not normal"? Well, silly but nothing wrong with that either! I disagree with TimR's and others' statements that you have personal issues and that you need to see a psych. All that you write sounds fine to me. You seem like a great kid, and I'm happy to know you!


Originally Posted By: Musiqientist
And I don't know if that's what they mean by clutch!!!


I also don't know what they mean by "clutch" !



WHAT'S NORMAL ABOUT A 17 YEAR OLD HAVING SEXUALS FEELINGS TO A .... =="

Of course I'm a great kid, tell me something I don't already know. :pp I'm a brat, I'm a pianist, I'm rude, I'm a SCIENTIST, I'm too good for people my age, I'm gifted, I'm psyched, I have a clutch, I'm azn, I can read minds, I make special threads, I'm popular online, I spell people's name right, (apology not accepted, prepare to be further chastised in the future poly) I play violin, I'm capricious, I'm people pleasing. I mean look!!! Got the whole package in this one!!!
_________________________



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#2074609 - 04/30/13 11:43 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: landorrano]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Quote:
You seem like a great kid, and I'm happy to know you!



If I was your student would you like me? HMMMMMMM????.....
_________________________



Top
#2074617 - 04/30/13 11:55 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: saerra]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: saerra
Oh my goodness. This thread is overwhelming.


A damsel in distress results in overwhelming threads. :pp

Quote:

I wanted to add my voice to those saying you should talk to a good therapist. The impression that I got from this thread is that you're spinning off in 20 different directions. I also think you've received a ton of advice that is exactly, 100% correct - but it seems to bounce off of you as you spin in a new direction. You keep saying, "tell me more!" and "what about this!" and even when Keystring said she was done responding, you tagged on a few more questions in your response.


Yeah coz the more I'm given the more I have to analyze. It can't hurt. You can always have questions! I see it as a good thing!

Quote:
A good therapist will help you understand how you process information, how you interact with others, why you seek approval, how you can be more confident and not need that approval, how to work more effectively towards your goals, etc.

Quote:
I had one other thought for you, on this idea of wanting to know if you have the potential to be a pro at this.


But id really rather get approval than just to need it, say I had a choice. wink

Quote:
The people who are successful in really difficult, competitive fields - don't generally ask people if they're going to be successful. They don't spend their time looking for approval or affirmation of their choices.

They CHOOSE it. They say, "I am going to be THIS." And then, they work their butts off to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

It's like the story of the guy who wanted to be a violinist. He had the chance to meet and play for a famous violinist who he admired greatly.

After playing he said, "Please, I respect you so much. I have to know... do I have what it takes to do this professionally?"

And the master said, "I am so sorry to tell you, but no, you do not. You should give up now." The man gave up, went off and got an ordinary job, and decades later, had the chance to talk to the famous violinist again.

This time he said, "You should never have told me to give up! I might have succeeded! You had no way of knowing if I would be any good" - and the famous violinist replied, "If you had what it took, you would have ignored what I said and kept going anyway."


I will take this into serious consideration. It's just really not the way I was raised. It's just.... Didn't the people who it made it acquire a very high level of approval?

[QuoteI know, getting positive feedback from our teachers and those we respect is important, and encouraging. But if you choose to do this professionally, that has to come from inside of you. Having someone tell you that you're good enough is really pretty meaningless - it doesn't make the path easier, or the hours longer. It doesn't give you any shortcuts, the ONLY way you get to succeed is by working incredibly hard and staying focusing on achieving your goal.


Yeah but I don't just want approval! I want it to be true! To have earned it. When I get it, if I get it, I want it to have come from inside! I don't mind the hours, I enjoy them. But yeah, the staying focused thing...

Quote:
OK, I had one more thought for you. At 17, you're on the verge of adulthood. I can't really tell from these posts exactly what the issue is with your teacher, but, I can tell you what your options, as an adult, are to deal with it.


I have been!

Quote:
1. You accept things are they are. Don't try to change the teacher, and stop going over and over this in your head. Make the best of what you have.

2. You talk to your teacher. You might ask for more feedback, or more encouragement, or whatever. You should know, just because you ask, doesn't mean you get. She might not be willing to give what you want/need, or might be unable to. But, it allows you to have an adult conversation about your needs, and how you are interacting.

3. You find a new teacher who you are able to work better with.

That's it! You get to pick which option is best for this situation. And you might mess up, because that's part of what happens to ALL of us, even when we get older. We're all constantly learning how to interact with others, how to be patient with others, how to help each other out, and what works.

Good luck to you.



Thank you.
_________________________



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#2074619 - 04/30/13 11:57 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Chris Goslow]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: Chris Goslow
Try giving up the need for her approval. Approval-seeking behavior can be very destructive to your own happiness.

This teacher is there to help you. If she still works with you, she obviously thinks you are doing a good enough job. And you can only be helped in the long run by working with someone you admire.


Thanks. Wow, I know you and you probably know my teacher! This freakes me out. I mean this site is obviously popular. What if she's seen....
_________________________



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#2074813 - 05/01/13 07:58 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
Ken Knapp Offline



Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 2130
Loc: Pennsylvania
Originally Posted By: Musiqientist


Thanks. Wow, I know you and you probably know my teacher! This freakes me out. I mean this site is obviously popular. What if she's seen....


You never know...

Interesting topic. The only problem is that this subject is not exactly in line with the purpose of this forum. I have even received a moderator report speculating as to whether it's even healthy.

Musiqientist, I'll just ask this.. Are you looking to make this teacher your girlfriend? Have you ever had a girlfriend? If you suddenly became acquainted with a young lady who became your girlfriend, would impressing this teacher lose its importance?

You do not even have to answer these questions on the forum. It's none of my business anyway. I only ask in order to prompt you to ask them of yourself.

I remember that when I was 17, EVERYTHING seemed like it was a life or death emergency. Then as you get older you suddenly realize that many of these "emergencies" were trivial. I guess it's all about perspective. They say live and learn, and there is a lot of wisdom to that.

Do you have a trusted, wise, older friend you can talk to about this? Someone who is level headed and does not seem impulsive, one who enjoys a measure of success in life and is balanced with family, friends, and career? If so, I would advise talking to this friend. That's one way I stayed sane at 17! smile

For now I will leave the topic open, but I am really close to closing it.

Take a DEEP breath and relax. In 10 years you will be able to look back and wonder why you made such a big deal about this...
_________________________
Ken

Piano Organ Depot
http://www.pianoorgandepot.com
Hammond Organ Technician


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#2075395 - 05/02/13 12:12 AM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
Polyphonist Online   content
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 03/03/13
Posts: 6418
Loc: New York City
Teenagers! grin
_________________________
Regards,

Polyphonist

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#2075941 - 05/02/13 02:36 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Polyphonist]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: Polyphonist
Teenagers! grin


OMGGG!!!!! He's in a good mood!!!!!!!!!
_________________________



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#2075945 - 05/02/13 02:43 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Ken Knapp]
Musiqientist Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 94
Quote:
Interesting topic. The only problem is that this subject is not exactly in line with the purpose of this forum. I have even received a moderator report speculating as to whether it's even healthy.


Healthy for what? What would be then next thing that would cause you to close the topic? I honestly think that this honestly still is about piano overall.

Quote:
Musiqientist, I'll just ask this.. Are you looking to make this teacher your girlfriend? Have you ever had a girlfriend? If you suddenly became acquainted with a young lady who became your girlfriend, would impressing this teacher lose its importance?

You do not even have to answer these questions on the forum. It's none of my business anyway. I only ask in order to prompt you to ask them of yourself.


...I'm female. *huff* And not homosexual.
Anyways, I actually thought about this seriously and know that if I got a boyfriend, things wouldn't change. And no I've never dated. The issues with piano will still lurk around. It really doesn't have too much to do with her. But for me, she's directly related to my playing somehow. I know that's like a repeat.

Quote:
Do you have a trusted, wise, older friend you can talk to about this? Someone who is level headed and does not seem impulsive, one who enjoys a measure of success in life and is balanced with family, friends, and career?


No.

Quote:
Take a DEEP breath and relax. In 10 years you will be able to look back and wonder why you made such a big deal about this...


If I succeed that may happen. Everything about piano is important now.
_________________________



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#2075973 - 05/02/13 03:09 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
Polyphonist Online   content
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 03/03/13
Posts: 6418
Loc: New York City
Listen to the people with experience and hindsight about these things. EVERYONE feels this way at the age of 17. Everything is a big deal, everything is a life-or-death situation, any bad decision you make will ruin your entire life. Just relax - it doesn't matter as much as you think it does. ha
_________________________
Regards,

Polyphonist

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#2076115 - 05/02/13 07:21 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Musiqientist]
Ken Knapp Offline



Registered: 04/18/06
Posts: 2130
Loc: Pennsylvania
One thing life has taught me..

If we do things to please others we often fail.

If we do things for ourselves they work out better. smile

Oh, you're female.. Glad we cleared that up. laugh One never knows when real names are not used.
_________________________
Ken

Piano Organ Depot
http://www.pianoorgandepot.com
Hammond Organ Technician


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#2076150 - 05/02/13 08:33 PM Re: Help me read my teachers mind. [Re: Ken Knapp]
red-rose Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 177
Loc: Cleveland, OH
Originally Posted By: Ken Knapp
One thing life has taught me..
Oh, you're female.. Glad we cleared that up. laugh One never knows when real names are not used.

Ha. Sometimes one *still* doesn't know that with real names...

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