Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Adult Beginners Forum 7 months in and I have quit. Frustrated, sad, relieved.

If piano has become a chore that brings you guilt, pressure, and no pleasure, then you should quit.

If you decide to continue, I think there are a few things you could do to relieve some of your self-imposed guilt or pressure. The most important, in my mind, would be to find a teacher who is willing to work with you entirely on the skills/pieces you want to learn. It might also lift some of the pressure if you found a teacher willing to offer biweekly lessons, rather than weekly.

Learning the piano is like exercise. A few minutes a day, every day, consistently will yield positive results and is much better than brief bursts of intense practice.

That being said, I fully sympathize with your life demands. It is not a coincidence that I did not start piano until both my children were old enough to entertain themselves and I was post-tenure.

Hiya Jadis.

Life just has a way of taking over our passions and dreams once in awhile eh?

I think that stopping with the teacher was probably a good idea, for now. But don't give up entirely...

I've been at this for a year or two now. Both last year and this year I had to take huge breaks from piano. I'm in the middle of struggling to get back into daily practice. I just don't have enough time! Last year with work and being sick I just couldn't get there. This year it was bf moving out, bad finaces. Now I'm struggling to get my only wheels on the road and it's taking priority. Soon that will pass and I'll be able to devote my time, and passion back to the piano. I know from last year, that this too shall pass.

My point? Give yourself a break and permission to rearrange priorites as you need them. If you love piano, you will go back to it.

Try just noodling around for awhile. Don't focus on trying to learn or get ahead. Just have fun. Do it when you can. No judging yourself!

Best of luck, and whatever you decide, do so knowing your doing what you need to do for you.

- reasonable path of progress? Yes it was reasonable for the first 6 months - but progress points change and become more difficult. Your easy muscle memory-rote repetition days are over. Only with continued practice will your brain make structural changes required for further advancement. This time can be frustrating as weeks will pass without any apparent progress and even a feeling of retrogression. The one day you'll sit down and something that was impossible has become automatic -- if you keep practicing.

-gave up too easily? Yes you have. Reducing stress by stopping formal lessons may be best, but giving up piano - there's no need for that! I'm just this month completing my second year and all the really cool stuff has happened in the past 8 months. This is with a practice schedule that for the past year has often been limited to 10 minutes here and there.

- overcome the rest of your life's responsibilities? Well, my kids have been long on their own, but job and family responsibilities are as time consuming as ever. For me the piano is now a responsibility. I say this because piano study has improved my focus and concentration at work and dropped my weight and blood pressure. Oh, and I'm learning how to play the piano. All this with 5 to 60 minutes a day practice. Every single day. No exceptions other than being on-the-road or down with extreme illness.

If I quit now? I don't know - probably you don't either. Perhaps it's best not to quit. I believe the reason I've not lost initiative is I do not have a teacher other than Alfreds, YouTube, Burgmuller, Clementi, Bach, Beethoven and PianoWorld. The added stress of structured lessons would make piano unpleasant - which I do not wish to occur. Nor do I berate myself when personal piano goals are not met in time. If not today, than tomorrow - as long as forward movement continues.

Don't think of it as a door closed and locked behind you. Think of it as having left a room you can always re-enter when the time is right.

Music will always be there for you if you want it.

In the meantime, we all have to put first things first, whatever those are for each of us.

Cherish what you were able to accomplish and know that you can always come back to it.

-Do you think I was on a reasonable path of progress during this time?

Yes that's reasonable. Especially since you said that you were very enthusiastic about it and learning was fun. I find that in everything we do, the more we enjoy doing something, the more we keep at it. So your progress was reasonable for what you put in your work.

-Do you think I gave up too easily? It's not that intend to never touch the piano again. I just am unable to commit myself to weekly assignments and regular practice. I am literally throwing time and money away

I think you're just being practical and rightfully so. If you feel that you are wasting your time and money right now, then it's probably the right choice. I wouldn't however, give up playing the piano overall. See what you can do on your own and perhaps you'll develop that enthusiasm again over time.

-As adult beginners, how on earth DO you overcome the rest of your life's responsibilities? Between career, raising young kids, paying attention to my wife, and just watching an hour of TV a day there doesn't seem like much time left for piano practice.

There's never really a time for anything if we don't give it the time. I work long hours at the hospital where I work. I go to school part time for my masters. I have a husband. (Un)fortunately no kids yet. But, I do make sure i play my piano at least 30 minutes to 1 hour a day. Most the times that happens at night before I go to sleep.


-If I quit now, will it turn out that I will never pick up the piano again?

No, I think you just need a break. When you're ready to pick it back up, you will. Besides, you're posting on PW, you will get plenty of encouragement and inspiration here to NOT completely let it all go away.

Good luck to you =)

Another great tool that this forum offers is the MOYD thread. Check it out and you'll see how helpful something like this can be to keep you going through the rough spots in life.

https://www.pianoworld.com/forum/ubb.../2005899/gonew/1/MOYD%202013.html#UNREAD

Thanks for all the insightful responses folks.

I really did feel that it was not very meaningful and wasteful (of my time and money) to continue with lessons at this point. I still do worry that once I head down the path of stopping formal lessons that even though I will play around and practice by myself and on my own schedule, that I will eventually cease piano altogether. But I had to make a decision: it ceased to be fun and I felt pressured, AND it was costing me money. Some of you are right, I still do like the piano otherwise I wouldn't be here anguishing about things and I would be selling my piano (but I am not). In fact I just spent 15 minutes this morning completing the melody of a simplified version of The Heart Asks Pleasure First without error.

Sounds like many of you gone through this before, and did return to piano. But maybe the population of responders in this forum is skewed from the norm: it's a forum filled with adult beginners and re-starters. Still, hearing your own stories made me feel better. Thanks!

One of the responses regarding work and career was particularly thought provoking to myself. I have been in a situation at work where I have been put on a high pressure project and it turns out I have had a high aptitude for this project, becoming the center of attention which I have enjoyed very much as it made me feel accomplished and important. But at the same time I sometimes worked 11 hour days, sometimes 6 or 7 days a week. And at the same time I fully expect the end of year financial rewards to be significant (promotion, enough of a bonus to buy a nice new grand piano if I so wanted). It was as if all my enthusiasm and sense of accomplishment was sucked away from piano and drawn towards my career. The person's retrospective response above saying they would have preferred a less ambitious and time consuming career was insightful...

Today, I definitely do feel a sense of pressure relief from trying to maintain practice and progress on a weekly schedule. Piano is supposed to my hobby for pleasure, not yet another chore or assignment. I'm a grown man, if I do work I want to get paid, anything else I do for my own pleasure (which includes my family).

I'll take that advice about trying to changing my schedule and routine.

I suppose in the end even if I end up never touching the piano again it's not so bad. I'll just do what other parents have done and force it upon my children haha.

Jadis, when I quit lessons last year it took me a couple of months to really get into a new rhythm of figuring out how I wanted to play and practice the piano, without the built-in structure of what had been assigned for my lessons. You may find the same thing, as you reconnect to what you love about piano free of the pressures of having to meet externally defined goals. 7 months on, I'm comfortable in my new routine.

Kenny Werner, in his book Effortless Mastery, advises letting yourself enjoy every note you play, to appreciate it as the most wonderful note in the whole world.

Even just a few minutes at the piano daily, noodling about, will be beneficial.

If you want to learn specific skills or pieces, then learning how to practice efficiently, using slow practice and working on small chunks and allowing the power of sleep to consolidate learning, will help you make the most of your time.

Best wishes to you.

Don’t give up… keep it up.

As for me, I’ve been seriously learning to play the piano about 6 years or so. My progress has been slow, and I do not have a real teacher… other than many of you here on PW.

What I’ve learned is that, for me, the piano is more of an outlet, recreation, stress relief, or just plain fun and entertainment. I know I can’t really play all that well, but the people that love me tell me that I can. I recognize they really and truly like me more than my piano playing, but that is okay too… it is nice to be loved.

Thing is, on occasion, I learn a new chord, or voicing, or blues rift or boogie rift. My fingering seems more accurate and trained to go when they are supposed to go. My familiarization with the keyboard is greater than it has ever been.

I don’t force myself to play, but play when I take a notion… whether it be morning, noon or night. My playing puts a smile on my face and gleam in my eye. The enjoyment I get from it is tremendous; a kind of high, if you will. No need for me to take drugs or drink alcohol… just play my pianos.

All in all, it has been, and remains, a wonderful experience.

Once again, don’t give up… stay at it!!

All the best!

Rick

- Yes
- Yes. A hiatus is, honestly, just fine and almost inevitable, really. But you used the word "quit"
- It's a priority thing. Kids + wife + work definitely are a toll. The kids will get older. A good technique would be to just commit to playing five minutes each day with the caveat that if you are still enjoying yourself, you're free to continue playing.
- It's a real risk. Worse, if you do pick up the piano again after, say, 10 years of being idle, there's a risk that you'll regret the lost time. If you, say, can commit to just 5 minutes a day, the risk of your giving up piano entirely is greatly mitigated.

I definitely can see the wisdom of putting lessons on hiatus while your life is so complicated. Pausing the lessons is one way of making the piano a refuge for you as opposed to another of your many obligations. The downside is that you won't have the advantage of next week's lesson around to goad you into practicing each week. But as long as you can still make some daily time, however small, to enjoy your piano, the chances that you'll make it an increasingly important part of your life are better.

Stress from work takes a serious toll on practice time because the more tired I am after work, the less I want to do another difficult activity that requires learning, and learning piano is difficult. The wife and kids also take priority, so in the end, watching an hour of TV require far less energy than an hour of piano, plus it could be done with the family. There were days when I fell aspleep at the piano, and I've learned to just go to bed instead.

I do my best to practice more on weekends and some weeks very little if at all on weekdays (so I still avergage 5-7 hours a week). I felt bad about this initially but have accepted it. After 3 years of lessons, I find I am making progress, slower than if I practiced an hour a day everyday, but far better than not at all. My teacher is generous enough to recognize I am a very busy professional with young children and all the commitments that comes with that.

This is the reason I soldier on because I do I love piano. Another reason is that I did take lessons for a few months then quit, and 20 years went by before I touched the piano again, and I very much regret that. Having said that, there is not a single week that goes by in the last 3 years with all the demands of a career and family that I ask myself why am I doing this. I come back to the fact that I love piano, and losing 20 years was enough, and looking back on life, I don't want my career to be the only thing that defined who I am.

For the other questions, you clearly already answered them yourself so I'm not sure why you even ask. Here:

>Basically I put most of my energies focusing on work and career.

So you shuffled your priorities. That's it.

Maybe the piano never delivered what you were looking for.

Were you playing acoustic or DP?

Did you try classical pieces?

I just "picked up the piano" after a 40-year lapse. So yes, it's possible.

Adults aren't kids. We aren't learning piano because Mommy thinks it would be a good idea. We have "real-life" concerns far beyond our grade in the current semester's courses. And we can take the "long view" of pleasures, and responsibilities.

If you have to stop lessons (that is, you're not doing enough practice to improve), don't kick yourself too hard. Don't throw out your teacher's phone number -- he/she has probably seen this happen before, especially with adults. And come back when you have more time.

The doors that music opens, never close.

. Charles

As Charles mentions here above music will always be with you so just never quit!

It can reap great rewards and enjoyment at any/all levels of ability.

This is what I know from my experience. I hope this helps.

It's okay to feel the need to walk away from piano. It may even be healthy taking the learning pressure off, and as you noted feeling relieved. But it doesn't have to be permanent, just as long as you need to be away from it to be completely refreshed. I think that taking a break is something many adult learners need to do. I did it, and came back when I was ready much stronger than when I left.

The pressure and disappointment comes from not progressing as fast as one would like. There are definite milestones, and you experienced one. These learning milestones help give the energy and determination to get to the next one. When it does not come as fast as expected the energy goes away.

I think if you take a good break and come back you will be revived and ready to get to the next milestone. So take time away, don't pressure yourself to get back on the piano. The desire may come back stronger than you think. And if that happens, the next milestone will be very close. It just happens this way, from my experience.

I had to take a six month break over a year ago in order to focus on writing my master's thesis, and surprisingly while I made absolutely no progress in piano during those 6 to 8 months, my worst fear did not come true. I didn't completely forget how to play the piano. I was pretty much back in shape after 2 or 3 weeks of getting back. Short breaks are fine, as long as they don't go on for 20 years.

It took me 5 starts over 10 years to get into running, which I really wanted to do. Now on my 5th year of running every week, and at a 6:20 pace for 13 miles -- just depends on how bad you wanna do something!!! My piano skills pale in comparison ... check back in 5 years. Actually this would be my 3rd attempt at getting into piano, and 5th into any instrument.

It is so sad that your teacher did not take you aside
to inform you that after the first "burst of enthusiasm",
after the routine of learning and studying has started to set in,
many students go through a difficult time
when their whole effort of learning seems to "stand still". -

There have been some professional papers written about this phenomenon,
making the point of just "sitting it out"...
and to continue all the same, until things become easier again.

I talked in the past with some golfers
and they had similar difficulties
and just "had to sit it out" and continue all the same.

Some golfers, like for example, Nick Faldo, felt at one point
that he had to start from the very beginning again,
when he realized that his "grip" had been wrong from the start
and he saw no chance to develop from there
unless he started from the very beginning again - and he did.
Just imagine!

I am saying this because your emotions are completely normal
and you "only" have to "sit it out" and play whenever you can
and continue as best as you can,
until your circumstances settle better again... and continue from there.

I wish you good luck and all the best from Kristina.

Maybe I'm odd or something but I come home and play to unwind and escape from the day. I take the stance that there is no practice only playing some playing is better than others though.

Learning piano can be terribly frustrating - one day you rejoice for having progressed a bit, the next one you find you can't play even the easiest stuff. Some people pick it up very quickly, but I think I can say that most of us don't. It's lots of hard work. It would be great to just sit at the piano and noodle around and play a few nice songs, but I don't think that's really possible after only a few months. I've been learning for a little over 1 year and I don't have much to show off, maybe 4 or 5 easy tunes. Some people concentrate more on repertoire and spend a lot of time on difficult, impressive pieces - often with good results. To each their own. I hope you stick with it and find your very own way to learn and play, and enjoy it.