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#2080563 - 05/11/13 12:55 AM Pianos and Divorce
LVP Offline
Full Member

Registered: 06/29/09
Posts: 289
Loc: Vermont
I bet this is going to be a hit. But you know, I got no where else to sing this song....

My piano is trapped at my soon to be ex-husband's house. We've been separated for a year and a half, and now all I have access to is a DP. It's good, but my baaaaby is in exile.

And before you ask, I am supposed to get it back eventually, but I couldn't get it up to my third floor apartment.

Ok, now everyone just needs to tell me that they feel my pain. I am such a whiner.
_________________________
LVP
Charles Walter 1500
Korg SP-170s

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#2080591 - 05/11/13 02:46 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
peterws Online   content
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 07/21/12
Posts: 3599
Loc: Northern England.
You need to move; you`ll never settle `till you do. Best o` luck lass!
_________________________
"I'm playing all the right notes — but not necessarily in the right order." Eric Morecambe

""

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#2080633 - 05/11/13 06:41 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Rich Galassini Online   content
9000 Post Club Member

Registered: 05/28/01
Posts: 9222
Loc: Philadelphia/South Jersey
Since we do piano moving and storage as well, we occasionally deal with pianos caught in a divorce. It is never fun. I hope it works out for you soon.

In the meantime, find a church, school, or a local piano store where you can get an occasional "fix".
_________________________
Rich Galassini
Cunningham Piano Co.
Phila, Pa.
Dir. Line (215) 991-0834
rich@cunninghampiano.com
Get Cunningham Piano Email Updates

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#2080684 - 05/11/13 09:09 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Morodiene Online   content
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/06/07
Posts: 11898
Loc: Boynton Beach, FL
Might be better to cut your losses at this point - there's not only just one piano for each pianist. Maybe get a decent upright that you can have moved to your apartment (or better yet be on the look-out for a first floor apartment) and make the best of things. That's a really tough situation, and I feel for you.
_________________________
private piano/voice teacher - full time
MTNA member
www.valeoconservatory.com
Petrof 9'2 Concert, Yamaha G3, Roland FP-7, Yamaha MOX6, Kawai MP11

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#2080708 - 05/11/13 09:43 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
PattyP Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/07/04
Posts: 612
Loc: Texas
I feel your pain. Divorces are never easy, even the most amiable. The pain of the split, and the emotional roller coaster that comes with it can make even the most normally-agreeable person do some pretty nasty stuff. My divorce lawyer strongly advised me against moving out of the house until my ex and I were able to put into writing who would get what. I didn't understand then why, but I do now.

Hopefully, you have a lawyer. Make it know to him that your piano is non-negotiable. You may have to make some sort of concession to secure it, but compromise is important here.
_________________________
Patty

A tired dog is a good dog.

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#2080727 - 05/11/13 10:23 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
BuilderGirl Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/03/13
Posts: 7
Hang in there. You will end up in a better place/with that or a better piano.

I left my ex 4 years ago, and told him he could keep the baby grand since it was a gift to us from his mom (I'm the only one in the house that played it). Besides, house I was moving into didn't have near the space for it. After the dust settled, I realized that was a stupid decision on my part (there are other factors involved, no need to go into here). Well, 4 years later and I have finally purchased a permanent home....this week I took money I had saved for a dining room suite (something I"d use once a year) and used it to buy myself a beautiful slightly used baby grand - and it's larger and nicer than the one he has (not that it matters! haha) I absolutely love it and can enjoy it even more because it's completely MINE and it's something I did for MYSELF!

BTW - according to my son the cat uses the baby grand at his dads as a bed, And apparently one of the piano wires inside has broken. Glad I didn't go back and fight for that one!

Bide your time knowing that what you need will come to you. For me, I needed to learn patience, which I have learned in so many ways over the last 4 years! And now as I walk by my "new" piano I can enjoy it even more!

Clarification: by "be in a better place" I didn't mean physical location necessarily....rather, a "better place" in life smile


Edited by BuilderGirl (05/11/13 10:36 AM)

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#2080749 - 05/11/13 10:59 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
LVP Offline
Full Member

Registered: 06/29/09
Posts: 289
Loc: Vermont
I love you all, thank you!

I love my Walter, but what is awesome is that the Walter sound is fairly consistent...so if for some reason he destroys the piano while we're apart...I might just buy myself a new one when I get settled smile But for now, our mediated agreement makes it clear that the piano is MINE.

I live in a historic New England third floor walk up; there is no getting an upright in here, for sure, but it's perfect in every other way. And my Korg is fine for now, but I would love it if I could find a similar place that was a ground floor.

I know that he isn't having the piano tuned or keeping the humidifier going. I am seriously thinking about selling it while it's in amazing shape and putting the $ in a CD for a year or two until I can replace it, but I got such a great price on it, I'm not sure if I'd be short in the end. My other thought is to find a poor yet responsible musician to 'sublet' it to in exchange for care and feeding...but I haven't found a trustworthy home yet.
_________________________
LVP
Charles Walter 1500
Korg SP-170s

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#2080755 - 05/11/13 11:11 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Minnesota Marty Offline

Platinum Supporter until October 5 2014


Registered: 05/15/12
Posts: 7401
Loc: Rochester MN
Have you checked with a professional piano mover? It's surprising what can go up a staircase when a vertical is tipped on its side.
_________________________
Marty in Minnesota

It's much easier to bash a Steinway than it is to play one.

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#2080757 - 05/11/13 11:15 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: Minnesota Marty]
LVP Offline
Full Member

Registered: 06/29/09
Posts: 289
Loc: Vermont
There's no way, I live in what is essentially a converted attic, and all of my stuff was moved in through a fire escape/window. Though I appreciate your tenacity, short of cutting a hole in the wall...it's a physical impossibility. Piano is taller than the window. Game over, wah wah wahh....
_________________________
LVP
Charles Walter 1500
Korg SP-170s

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#2080759 - 05/11/13 11:17 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Minnesota Marty Offline

Platinum Supporter until October 5 2014


Registered: 05/15/12
Posts: 7401
Loc: Rochester MN
Sorry - cry
_________________________
Marty in Minnesota

It's much easier to bash a Steinway than it is to play one.

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#2080846 - 05/11/13 01:23 PM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Supply Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 3919
Loc: Vancouver Island, BC, Canada
Well, there are options, I think.

Unless the situation with the ex is absolutely perfect and you both wonder why you ever separated, I would move the piano out, sooner than later. Over time, people, feelings, intentions, attitudes and situations change. You want to make sure that you are in the driver's seat regarding your piano (or any other of your possessions). [Edit: as the piano is yours, then his storing it has an intrinsic value. Over time, this could accumulate and become one more sticky point of contention. Remember: possession is nine tenths of the law...]

You could move the piano out and pay for storage. Piano movers or reputable piano stores often have storage capacity. However, over time the storage costs can really add up.

What about family or friends? Does anyone have space for a piano? Tell your friends to ask their friends. Facebook?

You could find a "foster home" for the piano where you could store it for free. Get a written "rental contract"($10 per year) which stipulates terms and conditions (such as regular service paid by the user) and an exit clause (90 days notice of termination by either party) etc....
Finding a foster home may not prove all that difficult if you contact the right people. Talk to piano technicians, piano teachers, music schools etc who may know of someone who is looking for an upgrade in piano but who doesn't have the funds handy. Or even better, a place where people do not play that much at all, but like the look. Retirement home?

Yes, there is leg work involved. However, simply moving the piano into regular, climate controlled rental storage can set you back hundreds and hundreds per year. Do that for a few years and the total is in the thousands. But maybe for two or 3 months it would be OK, giving you time (and incentive) to find a more permanent home for it.

The "foster home" really works. I have two vintage grands that I have had farmed out for a number of years. I am still waiting for that purchase of a house big enough to bring them all home....
best of luck.


Edited by Supply (05/11/13 01:32 PM)
_________________________
Jurgen Goering
Piano Forte Supply
www.pianofortesupply.com

Piattino Caster Cups distributor

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#2080988 - 05/11/13 06:26 PM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Frankni Offline
Full Member

Registered: 02/12/13
Posts: 151
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: lvp
I bet this is going to be a hit. But you know, I got no where else to sing this song....

My piano is trapped at my soon to be ex-husband's house. We've been separated for a year and a half, and now all I have access to is a DP. It's good, but my baaaaby is in exile.

And before you ask, I am supposed to get it back eventually, but I couldn't get it up to my third floor apartment.

Ok, now everyone just needs to tell me that they feel my pain. I am such a whiner.


I wonder who you were most married to: your husband or your piano? If the answer is the latter, I would sympathize: a piano is emotionally so much a stabler personality than any husband. But if it was a menage-a-trois, I would sympathize most with the piano. Being played on/with by both would seem to me a psychological torment to the poor instrument. It depends of course on what tune you were playing, and whether it was done in harmony or in discord.
_________________________
Yamaha C3, Sauter Delta 185

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#2080994 - 05/11/13 06:47 PM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
carey Offline
6000 Post Club Member

Registered: 05/13/05
Posts: 6332
Loc: Phoenix, Arizona
Originally Posted By: lvp
I bet this is going to be a hit. But you know, I got no where else to sing this song....

My piano is trapped at my soon to be ex-husband's house. We've been separated for a year and a half, and now all I have access to is a DP. It's good, but my baaaaby is in exile.

And before you ask, I am supposed to get it back eventually, but I couldn't get it up to my third floor apartment.

Ok, now everyone just needs to tell me that they feel my pain. I am such a whiner.


So what's the problem ? Certainly nothing that a move to another apartment wouldn't solve. Seems the ball is in your court. But I certainly understand what it's like to miss your baby in the interim !!
_________________________
YouTube channel - http://www.youtube.com/user/pianophilo

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#2081003 - 05/11/13 06:56 PM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Little_Blue_Engine Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 03/30/09
Posts: 1233
Loc: Ohio, US
Wow, this sucks. I remember when you were just getting the piano.
_________________________
I'll figure it out eventually.
Until then you may want to keep a safe distance.


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#2081079 - 05/11/13 10:41 PM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
UK Paul UK Offline
Full Member

Registered: 09/22/11
Posts: 396
Loc: Berkshire, England
Talking about divorce.... its 3.38 am and i am currently perched precariously on the edge of the bed while my girlfried snores her head off, starfish position And shes breathing through one nostril with every snore....
_________________________
http://www.youtube.com/user/PaulGPiano

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#2081095 - 05/11/13 11:23 PM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: UK Paul UK]
Schubertslieder Offline
Full Member

Registered: 02/02/13
Posts: 373
Loc: Michigan, USA
Originally Posted By: UK Paul UK
Talking about divorce.... its 3.38 am and i am currently perched precariously on the edge of the bed while my girlfried snores her head off, starfish position And shes breathing through one nostril with every snore....

LOL. Put your finger on one of her nostrils, then try to get some sleep.
By the way, it is 11:21 PM here in US. grin
_________________________
Charles Peck (American)--Metropolitan
Debussy--various pieces
Grieg--various pieces

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#2081335 - 05/12/13 11:23 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
LVP Offline
Full Member

Registered: 06/29/09
Posts: 289
Loc: Vermont
I love this idea of the foster home! And actually, I live across the street from a beautiful retirement home that might like having it there! Why didn't I ask you all sooner!? Wow, that would be amazing.

Also, moving is not as simple as it sounds. I have two pets & I live in a notoriously difficult rental market. Places that take pets are hard to find, and one that would take two pets and be on a ground floor would be hundreds more a month than is in my budget. Plus, my divorce isn't going easily and I'm broke. Really, a smarter woman would sell the piano, but I can't.
_________________________
LVP
Charles Walter 1500
Korg SP-170s

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#2081429 - 05/12/13 03:27 PM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Supply Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 3919
Loc: Vancouver Island, BC, Canada
If things are not going so well in the dis-entanglement, it is all the more reason to get the piano out of there while you still can. I encourage you to move quickly.

I sure hope you find a home for your piano for a year or two while you get back on your feet. Imagine if you could visit your piano across the street and play it there! That would be amazingly perfect. Perhaps as an added incentive for the retirement home you could say that you would come in from time to time as a volunteer to play some music for the residents. You would just have to get used to playing in front of a small audience, but you will find they are happy to have any kind of live musical interaction, it does not have to be a stellar performance.
_________________________
Jurgen Goering
Piano Forte Supply
www.pianofortesupply.com

Piattino Caster Cups distributor

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#2081744 - 05/13/13 07:46 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Dave Horne Offline
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 5276
Loc: Vught, The Netherlands
I bet a Yamaha N1 or NU1 would be possible to move to that attic apartment.

Since your piano is with your ex why not talk to a piano dealer and trade it in towards something that could be moved into your apartment. Life is a compromise, that includes relationships, jobs, and even pianos.
_________________________
website

mp3\wav files

AvantGrand N3, CP5

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#2082026 - 05/13/13 05:52 PM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Reno Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 141
If my wife and I decide to split, it will be very complicated since she paid for the piano and I paid for restoration. I guess, I will take the strings and the action, and leave the rest for her.

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#2082052 - 05/13/13 07:00 PM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
BuilderGirl Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/03/13
Posts: 7
Oh, I hope the retirement home works out for you! I'd think they would be thrilled to have the entertainment for their residents! Perhaps the answer has already come to you! Best wishes!

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#2082081 - 05/13/13 08:06 PM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Annitenth Offline
Full Member

Registered: 12/27/08
Posts: 462
Loc: Texas
I hope you'll be Very Careful with the retirement home idea. A $4,000 organ was bought for our small church in someone's memory (this was 30 years ago, and that $4,000 was a lot of money for a donation of this kind), and it got a LOT of abuse...kids messing with it, adults placing coffee cups on it, spilling the coffee, etc.

My parents were in a nursing home, and the home's furniture was constantly being run into by wheelchair wheels and walked into by walkers. Even when residents try to be careful, things still happen. Non-musicians see nothing wrong in placing a snack plate on a piano, or playing chopsticks with sticky fingers.

I think a foster home with a maximum of maybe two mature, conservative adults might be a better solution.

I do agree you should move that piano out as soon as possible, if only to storage.
_________________________
Anne
Bösendorfer 225
Technics PCM Digital Ensemble PR307

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#2082157 - 05/13/13 10:36 PM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Rich Galassini Online   content
9000 Post Club Member

Registered: 05/28/01
Posts: 9222
Loc: Philadelphia/South Jersey
This reminds me of a story:

I have been in this business now for quite some time. I remember a couple coming in to look at pianos and I knew I had met them before and thought they had bought a piano from me.

I said hello and welcome back. After chatting a few minutes I thought they said that they had lost their piano. I asked if there had been a fire or a flood. They said no and laughed a little.

What they had ACTUALLY said is that they had both lost their PIANOS. Then they explained, which is good because I was now very confused.

You see, it turns out that they had bought a piano from me alright... each with their former spouses and both of them lost their pianos in divorce. Now they were getting married and discovered that they had something in common that they hadn't realized... their piano salesman!

So they came back as a totally new couple to buy a third piano for their new place. Talk about a weird situation! smile

It was a confusing first for me.
_________________________
Rich Galassini
Cunningham Piano Co.
Phila, Pa.
Dir. Line (215) 991-0834
rich@cunninghampiano.com
Get Cunningham Piano Email Updates

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#2082184 - 05/13/13 11:28 PM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: Rich Galassini]
LVP Offline
Full Member

Registered: 06/29/09
Posts: 289
Loc: Vermont
That's craziness!
_________________________
LVP
Charles Walter 1500
Korg SP-170s

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#2082330 - 05/14/13 08:58 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Minnesota Marty Offline

Platinum Supporter until October 5 2014


Registered: 05/15/12
Posts: 7401
Loc: Rochester MN
Hmmm - A wedding at Cunninghams could be a lovely event.

Rich - Are you empowered to officiate? (It could be a great sideline.)
_________________________
Marty in Minnesota

It's much easier to bash a Steinway than it is to play one.

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#2082335 - 05/14/13 09:05 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
PattyP Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/07/04
Posts: 612
Loc: Texas
Neat story, Rich!
_________________________
Patty

A tired dog is a good dog.

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#2082371 - 05/14/13 10:48 AM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Rickster Online   content


Registered: 03/25/06
Posts: 8525
Loc: Georgia, USA
Reading this thread reminds me of a true story as well, though it does not involve a piano lost in a divorce.

I was selected for jury duty once in the county where I live and was chosen to serve on a civil case… a man’s wife had divorced him and married his best friend (ouch!). It seems that the new happy couple was storing some valuable antiques at the unfortunate man’s (Ex) residence. Things seemed to be on good terms initially. However, after an argument, the Ex got angry and in his rage damaged and destroyed a lot of the antiques for spite.

Neither was represented by a lawyer and the judge allowed them to represent themselves. It was a bunch of he said, she said. Oddly enough, the Ex admitted to destroying the antiques in a rage of madness and was willing to pay for the damage. The issue at hand was how much restitution was suitable. The new happy couple wanted a fortune, which was way less than the Ex was willing to pay. The jury had to come up with an amount to grant the happy couple… I think we decided on an amount that was more than the Ex had offered to pay, but no where near what the new happy couple wanted.

Moral of the story? Choose your friends and your spouse wisely. smile

Rick
_________________________
Piano enthusiast and amateur musician: "Treat others the way you would like to be treated". Yamaha C7. YouTube Channel

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#2082441 - 05/14/13 12:54 PM Re: Pianos and Divorce [Re: LVP]
Nash. Piano Rescue Offline
Full Member

Registered: 12/08/09
Posts: 384
Loc: East Nashville,TN Scottsville...
Normally during a divorce the party that owns the piano sends it to a church to borrow, of course you risk wear and tear but you also get to go play it during off hours. I've picked up many " on the lamb" pianos after the smoke clears from churches.
_________________________
J. Christie
Nashville Piano Rescue
www.NashvillePianoRescue.com
East Nashville
Bowling Green, KY
Scottsville KY.
Chamber of Commerce
Member/Sponsor

Putting inspiration in the hands of area musicians
Through restoration/renovation

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