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#2081391 - 05/12/13 01:30 PM Restless Thoughts - piano composition
PoetOfTheFall21 Offline
Full Member

Registered: 02/23/13
Posts: 30
Here's one composition I came up with a few weeks ago. It's titled Restless Thoughts and I meant it to be a sad composition.
I'd be grateful to hear your opinion about it.:)
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#2081448 - 05/12/13 04:19 PM Re: Restless Thoughts - piano composition [Re: PoetOfTheFall21]
Steve Chandler Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 2737
Loc: Urbandale, Iowa
Hi Poet,

You've succeeded in writing a sad piece and as such it's enjoyable. The way I hear it there's two phrases of your theme then a transitional phrase then a second version of your primary theme for twice through. Then you go up high with the second version and call it a piece. All of which is fine, except that the phrasing gets a bit square after a while, it's all 4 bar phrases and that becomes predictable. Music becomes more interesting when things are not predictable so if I were you I might look for ways to extend one or two of the phrases and/or change up the harmonic progression. It's a nice first draft, but can you dig a little deeper?


Edited by Steve Chandler (05/12/13 04:21 PM)
Edit Reason: typo

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#2081819 - 05/13/13 10:23 AM Re: Restless Thoughts - piano composition [Re: PoetOfTheFall21]
rada Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 09/07/06
Posts: 1124
Loc: pagosa springs,co
Hi Nikola,

Thanks for sharing. I always think that takes courage and the ability to listen/read through some evaluations. I think you have a nice idea but for me it needs more development. I also don't feels sadness but rather a more pensive quality.

I think your photos are inspirational.

Are you born in Croatia? My mother was from Obrovac.

rada

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#2086911 - 05/22/13 04:11 PM Re: Restless Thoughts - piano composition [Re: Steve Chandler]
PoetOfTheFall21 Offline
Full Member

Registered: 02/23/13
Posts: 30
Originally Posted By: Steve Chandler
Hi Poet,

You've succeeded in writing a sad piece and as such it's enjoyable. The way I hear it there's two phrases of your theme then a transitional phrase then a second version of your primary theme for twice through. Then you go up high with the second version and call it a piece. All of which is fine, except that the phrasing gets a bit square after a while, it's all 4 bar phrases and that becomes predictable. Music becomes more interesting when things are not predictable so if I were you I might look for ways to extend one or two of the phrases and/or change up the harmonic progression. It's a nice first draft, but can you dig a little deeper?



sorry for the late reply! Thank you for commenting my composition and giving me advices, I appreciate it! I agree, when I listened to this piece I could feel that something is missing and that it becomes predictable so in the future I intend, when I learn more things about piano music, to record all these compositions including this one and add some new melodies to make them better. You're right, I will, thanks!
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#2086916 - 05/22/13 04:14 PM Re: Restless Thoughts - piano composition [Re: rada]
PoetOfTheFall21 Offline
Full Member

Registered: 02/23/13
Posts: 30
Originally Posted By: rada
Hi Nikola,

Thanks for sharing. I always think that takes courage and the ability to listen/read through some evaluations. I think you have a nice idea but for me it needs more development. I also don't feels sadness but rather a more pensive quality.

I think your photos are inspirational.

Are you born in Croatia? My mother was from Obrovac.

rada


Thank you for leaving a comment! You're absolutely right, I feel that something's missing too and that it needs something to make it complete so I'm gonna have to change that when I remake this composition.:)
Thanks! Yep, I'm from Vukovar.:) Glad to see someone else here who has someone in their family that's from Croatia.:D
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