Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum Student who won't drop : (

I am fairly sure the responses to my question will be to drop this student. I've tried numerous times to discuss his goals with him and his parent, with no result, other than he continues to arrive for lessons, often with no assignment book, no music, and apparently just facing the week's assignment on lesson day. I am soooooooo frustrated! He only wants to doodle around on the piano, doesn't care to notate and compose, doesn't give me any ideas what kind of music he likes, doesn't pay attention, only wants to play by ear--and only songs that are fairly repetitive (which makes it easier). He's a lovely young man - preteen, but I don't know how to conduct lessons with him. I've taught him some theory, all his chords, and scales. I am sure at this point he senses my frustration. I laid down the law last lesson and told him I expected his little lead sheet project to be completed by next lesson. I would love to hear how you would handle this kind of student.

How about straight to the point to his mom: "I think you are wasting your money here because I feel that we accomplish nothing in piano lesson."

Then see what is the responds?

Preteen boys can be a challenge, for sure. It is my experience that asking them what type of music they like or want to play doesn't yield much in the way of results and suggestions for us as teachers. What type(s) of music do you assign him to play? I agree that it is especially frustrating when they don't bring their music and/or don't practice. Just wondering about what different music styles he has been playing, and if there might be some other options you could try before dropping him.

I find your title to the thread telling. Why should it be their decision to drop? If you do not wish to continue the situation, then you drop him.

Very simple. If he completes the project you asked him by next lesson, then great; you're making progress. Assign him something else for the next week.

If he doesn't, don't even bother finishing the lesson. Phone his parents immediately and drop the student.

Yet apparently he doesn't want to drop.

So there's something there to work with.

You just have to find it.

And no, he won't know what it is. "I dunno" is about all you get at that age.

Unless you absolutely can't stand, it, wait until that student or the parent concludes that it's time to stop lessons. When he's at a lesson, focus just on how to play one song and practice it with him.

Can you tell if he is 100% being forced by his parents to take lessons, or can you tell if there is even a tiny bit of desire from himself, even if he can't articulate that?

For me, I would determine whether to drop him based on whether I wanted the money, or how convenient his lesson time was for me. I might try getting an idea for what his mom expected him to get from lessons... if they really didnt' care if he was "progressing," then I suppose I might just continue teaching him things that he enjoys, even if I consider them 90% worthless. (The repetitive songs by ear, like you mentioned.)

+1

Well, better to be in the pinao class than in an otherwise paternaly prescribed alternative activity to fulfill, especially that music is indeed nothing sooo bad and who knows which alternative would come up. But having to work??? No, it´s good to take this rest, playing some piano at the music school where nobody and nothing really annoys. One peaceful hour the week!

What´s that, what my teacher is now coming up with? I am going to play in a duet, me on the piano and somebody on the recorder? And the date for a concert is already scheduled. Ups, I better take my lessons more serious, otherwise it will be very embarrassing on stage, I will even be guilty for my partner on the recorder, who will also be in that embarrassing situation because although its me who messed it up.
Hmmm, actually, playing in a duet is already like playing in a band, isn´t it? Hey, let´s prepare for playing in a band, that will be fun yeah, a rock band!

(Of course still not knowing this one: in 20 years I will show up on pianoworld in the adults beginner forum, having already some nice base from the many years of classes as a youngster. That time it was not sooo exciting, but man, now I know what I want from life and I am even kind of well prepared already for my new _real_ journey! Thanks to my parents and that really patient teacher (sure the teacher hated me that time, hahaha, was for sure the worst student) that I have got that chance as a youngster to join those classes, really didn´t know to appreciate it that time.)

Yes I agree! Don't give up yet.

And don't feel that what you're doing is a waste of time. Perhaps this is the only other thing he has outside of school. Accept that for now it is what it is, and make the best of it. You could be doing him a real favor, maybe not in piano playing, but just being someone stable in his life.

Thanks everyone. He actually completed his lead sheet assignment! Yay! So, I then worked on how to expand upon simple chordal accompaniement (broken chords, alberti bass, jazz rhythms, etc.) I asked him to come back with a different style next week. He wasn't too thrilled, but at least he did the assignment. Of course, he didn't practice any of his recital pieces, but one step at a time. I appreciate the feedback. I guess I have to learn to adapt to these young students--not everyone is destined to become a serious, committed pianist.

I was a teen student that would have been dropped had non-practice, non-responsiveness been a condition.

I'm so glad my teacher didn't drop me. My life would have far narrower boundaries now. As it is, practice is now a joy and I think of Ms. Richards (now deceased) quite often.

Forrest

woodog, if you don't mind my asking, at what age did you become more serious and committed about piano? What were the reasons you didn't practice during your teens?

He is in chorus in school and takes drum lessons outside of school. His drum teacher said he's doing well, and does his assignments, which is one of the reasons I am feeling frustrated. For a pre-teen, I'm sure drums are "cooler" than piano, but I don't think he's being forced to study with me. His mom and dad seem pretty easy going, basically leaving the decision to him.

I agree with Tim as well. I never drop a student. Personally I never know when in their lifetime their learning may become accelerated. Playing the piano should be an experience that you will in some form keep in your life forever....even if it is a simple melody by ear or an understanding of chords.

rada

I had a whole year I didn't do much...thank goodness my teacher stuck it out with me! You never know why a student wants to keep lessons without progressing much. Sometimes you are the only constant in their lives.

Marco, I liked your scenario.
(and possibly not far wrong...)

What pieces is he preparing for the recital? Did he choose them or did you? Does he like the pieces?