Welcome to the Piano World Piano Forums
Over 2 million posts about pianos, digital pianos, and all types of keyboard instruments
Join the World's Largest Community of Piano Lovers (it's free)
It's Fun to Play the Piano ... Please Pass It On!

SEARCH
the Forums & Piano World

This custom search works much better than the built in one and allows searching older posts.
(ad 125) Sweetwater - Digital Keyboards & Other Gear
Digital Pianos at Sweetwater
(ad) Pearl River
Pearl River Pianos
(ad) Pianoteq
Latest Pianoteq add-on instrument: U4 upright piano
(ad) P B Guide
Acoustic & Digital Piano Guide
PianoSupplies.com (150)
Piano Accessories Music Related Gifts Piano Tuning Equipment Piano Moving Equipment
We now offer Gift Certificates in our online store!
(ad) Estonia Piano
Estonia Piano
Quick Links to Useful Stuff
Our Classified Ads
Find Piano Professionals-

*Piano Dealers - Piano Stores
*Piano Tuners
*Piano Teachers
*Piano Movers
*Piano Restorations
*Piano Manufacturers
*Organs

Quick Links:
*Advertise On Piano World
*Free Piano Newsletter
*Online Piano Recitals
*Piano Recitals Index
*Piano Accessories
* Buying a Piano
*Buying A Acoustic Piano
*Buying a Digital Piano
*Pianos for Sale
*Sell Your Piano
*How Old is My Piano?
*Piano Books
*Piano Art, Pictures, & Posters
*Directory/Site Map
*Contest
*Links
*Virtual Piano
*Music Word Search
*Piano Screen Saver
*Piano Videos
*Virtual Piano Chords
Topic Options
#2083460 - 05/16/13 01:47 AM How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave?
Raindrops Offline
Full Member

Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 40
I recently decided to leave a teacher whose teaching style I believe did not fit me. I called her and told her that we are not a good match, but she didn't buy it and demanded more explanation. Well, she deserves the truth, so I told her every problem and frustration that I had during the six months lessons. She was a bit offended at first and I tried to tell her it's nothing personal, just I don't think we are a good fit. I'm still not sure how much it hurt her as she said she cared about me as a student and enjoyed teaching me.

I'm going to see her in a few days in a public event. How do I make this up? what should I say to her to make her believe that I still respect her? Also, I feel no matter what I say it WILL hurt the teacher who had taught me, as it just came out like I was blaming her, because her method didn't work on me. How do I tackle this in the future to minimize the bad feelings for the teachers?

Thanks a lot!
_________________________
Raindrops

Top
(ad) My Music Staff
Check out the new way to manage your music studio
#2083467 - 05/16/13 02:08 AM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Raindrops]
Minniemay Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 06/07/09
Posts: 1702
Loc: CA
Things are like this sometimes. It seems you are the mature one here. She asked, so you told her the truth. Good for you!

I don't think you have to say anything further. Let it go. Simply be polite and say hello.
_________________________
B.A., Piano, Piano Pegagogy, Music Ed.
M.M., Piano

Top
#2083558 - 05/16/13 08:16 AM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Raindrops]
Morodiene Online   content
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/06/07
Posts: 11901
Loc: Boynton Beach, FL
It's a shame that she responded defensively. I know, however, that there were times a student blindsided me by saying all they were dissatisfied with and that's why they're quitting, and they never let me know until that point that there was a problem. So here I thought everything was going well, the student seemed to enjoy lessons, like me, making progress, and suddenly they want to quit. That left me with no recourse, no ability to change what I was doing, no communication.

I'm not sure if that's what happened here, but if so that could be the reason for the defensiveness. Either way there's not much that can be done about it now. Be cordial to your former teacher when you see her. In fact, make a point of going up to her and saying hello. If she is rude to you that's on her.


Edited by Morodiene (05/16/13 09:48 AM)
Edit Reason: too many typos!
_________________________
private piano/voice teacher - full time
MTNA member
www.valeoconservatory.com
Petrof 9'2 Concert, Yamaha G3, Roland FP-7, Yamaha MOX6, Kawai MP11

Top
#2083596 - 05/16/13 09:46 AM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Raindrops]
red-rose Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 177
Loc: Cleveland, OH
I think in the future you should give them a chance to remedy the problems - let them know when you are dissatisfied with several things (or even one) and give them a chance to fix it before telling them in the same conversation that you are quitting. (I know as a teacher I would be a bit annoyed, especially if I really did think the student had potential)
(I dont really have any advice other than what's already been said for this current situation, now that you have to see your teacher again.)

Top
#2083810 - 05/16/13 07:17 PM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Raindrops]
pianogirl87 Offline
Full Member

Registered: 11/11/09
Posts: 107
Loc: New Jersey
Did you ever bring up your grievances before this phone call? If you didn't, then she may have been a bit blind-sided by this, especially if she thought you were doing very well. Hence the defensiveness.

Like others said, be cordial when you see her. In the future, bring up your grievances ahead of time and give your teachers a chance to fix the problems. They only want to help you.
_________________________
Pianist/Accompanist/Piano Instructor

Top
#2083842 - 05/16/13 10:02 PM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Minniemay]
Barb860 Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/11/09
Posts: 1646
Loc: northern California
Originally Posted By: Minniemay
Things are like this sometimes. It seems you are the mature one here. She asked, so you told her the truth. Good for you!

I don't think you have to say anything further. Let it go. Simply be polite and say hello.


Yes!

Reminds me of a thread a few months ago when TimR said "50 ways to Leave your Teacher".
To the OP: don't get defensive. You did the right thing.
_________________________
Piano Teacher

Top
#2084044 - 05/17/13 07:57 AM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Barb860]
Morodiene Online   content
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/06/07
Posts: 11901
Loc: Boynton Beach, FL
Originally Posted By: Barb860
Originally Posted By: Minniemay
Things are like this sometimes. It seems you are the mature one here. She asked, so you told her the truth. Good for you!

I don't think you have to say anything further. Let it go. Simply be polite and say hello.


Yes!

Reminds me of a thread a few months ago when TimR said "50 ways to Leave your Teacher".
To the OP: don't get defensive. You did the right thing.
I only question if they actually had told the teacher they were dissatisfied and gave her a chance to make changes before up and dismissing her. You can't undo, but you can certainly learn for the future.
_________________________
private piano/voice teacher - full time
MTNA member
www.valeoconservatory.com
Petrof 9'2 Concert, Yamaha G3, Roland FP-7, Yamaha MOX6, Kawai MP11

Top
#2084387 - 05/17/13 07:27 PM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Raindrops]
Raindrops Offline
Full Member

Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 40
Thanks, everyone, for the good advice. My last teacher has good credentials, and I'm sure other students can benefit from her style.
_________________________
Raindrops

Top
#2084429 - 05/17/13 08:52 PM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Raindrops]
ezpiano.org Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 05/10/11
Posts: 1006
Loc: Irvine, CA
Originally Posted By: PianoGirl87
Did you ever bring up your grievances before this phone call? If you didn't, then she may have been a bit blind-sided by this, especially if she thought you were doing very well.


I think PG87 bring out a good point here.
If you never show your grievances before this phone call, your teacher must be in shock.

I encourage my parents to voice up anything they want me to change right away in one week with emails because I do not like surprise like this.

Also, do you give one month notice? You should continue for one more month of lesson after your phone call and see if your teacher able to change after you telling her everything about your grievances.

If she change, you can consider to give her one more chances. If not, then leave her without feeling bad because you did the right thing by giving her one month notice.
_________________________
http://ezpiano.org
Piano lessons in Irvine, CA
Watch the introduction video on YouTube
@ http://bit.ly/Ready123

Top
#2084485 - 05/17/13 11:51 PM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Morodiene]
TimR Offline
3000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/17/04
Posts: 3200
Loc: Virginia, USA
Originally Posted By: Morodiene
It's a shame that she responded defensively. I


It's predictable though, and it's the reason most people are not fully disclosing about why they leave.

Some are dishonest (my family just moved to Russia, this is my last lesson), more are just reluctant to discuss the reasons. The real reasons, that is; most will just say they have a scheduling conflict and are going to have to take a break.

And they aren't obligated to tell you. It might be very useful for you to know what you did wrong, if you are the kind who is not defensive and would like to improve. But it isn't their job to help you with your teaching skills for free.

If they perceive you are not the kind who doesn't get defensive, and would not use the feedback to change anything, why hurt your feelings?
_________________________
gotta go practice

Top
#2084492 - 05/18/13 12:11 AM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Raindrops]
MaggieGirl Offline
Full Member

Registered: 09/18/11
Posts: 481
"...told her every problem and frustration that I had during the six months lessons..."

That might have been a bit much. To give anyone 6 months of reasons when they had no idea you were unhappy, is a lot to digest.

I would smile and make eye contact, shake her hand and be very positive at the event and say thank you for the time you spent together. Chances are you will meet up again so don't avoid her and be warm/professional.

And make sure communications is open with your new teacher.

Top
#2084515 - 05/18/13 01:29 AM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Raindrops]
Jeff Clef Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 10/05/08
Posts: 4414
Loc: San Jose, CA
"...I called her and told her that we are not a good match, but she didn't buy it and demanded more explanation. Well..."

Well, now she knows. The phrase "demanded more explanation" is telling. When a student has had enough and is giving notice, the teacher is not exactly in a position to be issuing demands.

All the same, the well-bred person will reply with temperance. Ignoring the question and moving right ahead with the things about which you wanted to thank her--- which was your agenda--- might be the best. Once that's out of your mouth, you could 'smell something burning in the oven' and say a hasty goodbye.

Be pleasant when you see her, but don't get dragged into any discussions. You might do some writing about this experience, so you'll have a full set of notes for interviewing your next teacher.

If she has a bad temper, she knows it already... and she knows it comes with costs.
_________________________
Clef


Top
#2084521 - 05/18/13 01:49 AM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Raindrops]
ezpiano.org Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 05/10/11
Posts: 1006
Loc: Irvine, CA
Originally Posted By: MaggieGirl
And make sure communications is open with your new teacher.


That is very correct. If RainDrop has done this with old teacher, then he or she do not need to worry how to face the old teacher in public place.
_________________________
http://ezpiano.org
Piano lessons in Irvine, CA
Watch the introduction video on YouTube
@ http://bit.ly/Ready123

Top
#2084618 - 05/18/13 08:40 AM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Raindrops]
Morodiene Online   content
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/06/07
Posts: 11901
Loc: Boynton Beach, FL
When a student tells me they are stopping lessons, I usually am the one who was waiting for them to arrive at this conclusion, and I do not ask. However, once in a while I have no idea a student is not happy and then they say I'm stopping lessons. This is why I have a 30-day cancellation policy. Some people don't want to tell you what the problem is, they just let it fester until they can't take it anymore and leave. My cancellation policy usually prevents that because then it gives me the opportunity to ask what is wrong and let them know I am flexible and can try something different, but I also let them know that they need to tell me these things - I'm no psychic!
_________________________
private piano/voice teacher - full time
MTNA member
www.valeoconservatory.com
Petrof 9'2 Concert, Yamaha G3, Roland FP-7, Yamaha MOX6, Kawai MP11

Top
#2085218 - 05/19/13 01:36 PM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: Raindrops]
red-rose Offline
Full Member

Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 177
Loc: Cleveland, OH
Morodiene- How do you enforce that? (I mean, what do you do to prevent them from just telling you they are quitting and then not paying?) Have they always paid 30 days in advance? Or they just agree on it in advance and that is enough to make it not be an issue?

Top
#2085405 - 05/19/13 08:56 PM Re: How to say Thank You to the teacher that I chose to leave? [Re: red-rose]
Morodiene Online   content
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/06/07
Posts: 11901
Loc: Boynton Beach, FL
Originally Posted By: red-rose
Morodiene- How do you enforce that? (I mean, what do you do to prevent them from just telling you they are quitting and then not paying?) Have they always paid 30 days in advance? Or they just agree on it in advance and that is enough to make it not be an issue?
They agree to it in advance, and yes, they pay for lessons ahead of time. If a parent all of a sudden says they're quitting, then I can use that agreement to buy some time and open up the lines of communication and see if there's any solutions we can arrive at.
_________________________
private piano/voice teacher - full time
MTNA member
www.valeoconservatory.com
Petrof 9'2 Concert, Yamaha G3, Roland FP-7, Yamaha MOX6, Kawai MP11

Top

Moderator:  Ken Knapp 
What's Hot!!
HOW TO POST PICTURES on the Piano Forums
-------------------
Sharing is Caring!
About the Buttons
-------------------
Forums Rules & Help
-------------------
ADVERTISE
on Piano World

The world's most popular piano web site.
-------------------
PIANO BOOKS
Interesting books about the piano, pianists, piano history, biographies, memoirs and more!
(ad) HAILUN Pianos
Hailun Pianos - Click for More
ad (Casio)
Celviano by Casio Rebate
Ad (Seiler/Knabe)
Knabe Pianos
Sheet Music
(PW is an affiliate)
Sheet Music Plus Featured Sale
(125ad) Dampp Chaser
Dampp Chaser Piano Life Saver
(ad) Lindeblad Piano
Lindeblad Piano Restoration
New Topics - Multiple Forums
Questions for those that use dremel for hammer shaping.
by UnrightTooner
09/17/14 07:29 AM
Pianoteq vs Digital Piano vs Acoustic Piano
by wildpig
09/16/14 11:57 PM
Baldwin Hamilton 1941
by JMN12
09/16/14 11:13 PM
Tucson, AZ: Is Arizona Room a bad place for a piano?
by Paul678
09/16/14 08:14 PM
Kissin plays...
by JoelW
09/16/14 07:33 PM
Who's Online
78 registered (ando, Alex75001, barbaram, 36251, 25 invisible), 994 Guests and 15 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
76224 Members
42 Forums
157573 Topics
2314570 Posts

Max Online: 15252 @ 03/21/10 11:39 PM
(ads by Google)

Visit our online store for gifts for music lovers

 
Help keep the forums up and running with a donation, any amount is appreciated!
Or by becoming a Subscribing member! Thank-you.
Donate   Subscribe
 
Our Piano Related Classified Ads
|
Dealers | Tuners | Lessons | Movers | Restorations | Pianos For Sale | Sell Your Piano |

Advertise on Piano World
| Subscribe | Piano World | PianoSupplies.com | Advertise on Piano World | Donate | Link to Us | Classifieds |
| |Contact | Privacy | Legal | About Us | Site Map | Free Newsletter | Press Room |


copyright 1997 - 2014 Piano World ® all rights reserved
No part of this site may be reproduced without prior written permission