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Guys, I really need your help.

I've uploaded two songs plus a video from YT. I've reached the point of madness when it comes to trying to progress and get better.

I'm sick and tired of my teacher telling me I'm dong well or really well. Or progressing really well. When I just don't feel that way.

I did at one point. But now the more I listen, the harder I try. The harder I try the more frustrated I get.

I recorded a song and then found the same song YT. It made me feel so inferior, so pathetic. That it almost felt like all this time has been put to waste.

I just don't know what to do anymore. If anyone is willing to comment, advise, rate, or recommend. I'd be more than happy to hear it.

I just don't know why I can't play the bloody song the same way. What is it that I am doing wrong? What am I missing? It's driving me insane ... and I don't know what to do about it.

Even if I am doing well. Or if my teacher is right what so ever. My point is ... until I can do so the same way, I'll never believe it or will I ever feel that way. And I just can't seem to fix that problem.

Video 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tIe_Vo1mMQ

Video 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYbN86YIOMQ

YT Link (Vid 2): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6ldrj3NFx0

My suggestion is to stop comparing yourself to Youtube sensations (or ABF recital sensations or Piano Bar sensations for that matter). The reasoning is that the best uploaders on YouTube, the ones getting a lot of views, are often in the top 0.01% of their class. If an objective person compares themselves to the top people, most are going to feel less than.

I suggest that you find joy in small achievements and what you can do, instead of what you can't do. If a person can't find joy in the small things, self-torture and indictment is often the alternative.

Only the 1 in 10,000 person will bask in the light at the top, and even that person might compare to the one in a million person and feel inferior. And so it goes.

Listen to Sand Tiger. His words speak the truth.

I'm learning a new piece by Tchaikovsky. So, sure, I listened to YouTube recordings. Vladimir Ashkenazy plays this piece real fine. I do not. Not yet anyway. But, that doesn't stop me. I can learn this piece and play it the best I can play it. My teacher will help me get to that point. It's a process. I enjoy solving music puzzles of how to finger a passage and how to hold tied notes and maintain phrasing. Take joy in the small victories in each practice session. You have no one to keep yourself company but you, yourself as you practice. Learn to speak nicely to yourself. It's a long road learning piano. You can either be good company for youself, or drive yourself nuts.

It is very important to compare yourself with yourself. Have you progressed? Then that has real value. You shouldn't compare yourself with someone who maybe has studied piano 10 years longer than you have, or is independently wealthy or cared for so they don't have to work like you may have to and can practice all day long to their heart's content. It really leads to nowhere because you generally don't know their situation well enough to know you're comparing apples to apples. And so what if you are? You are still uniquely you, and you are where you should be for the work you've been able to put in.

If there is something that you are dissatisfied with in your progress that is reasonable to change, then do so. I would really take your teacher's input to heart. Ask her if you think there is more you can do, but if not, then trust what she says is true and move forward.

soundofsilenc3, how long have you been taking lessons?

Hi soundofsilence,

Don't believe your thoughts if they have words like ever, never, etc in it. They are simply not true and the feelings derived from it are very negative.

I've been taking lessons 2 years.

I practice every single day. All throughout the day. I do everything and anything that I possibly can.

I put all my heart into this. And yes I'm very hard on myself but that's because I want to do well.

I want that more than anything. And I really am trying all that I can possibly think of.

Morodiene I really appreciate the advice. I have no clue how long the gentlemen in the video has played for. But I do know that video has been up for two years.

I mean ... I do beat myself up alot. I go very hard on myself. But it's because I don't want to fail at this. I couldn't forgive myself. I want to truly be accomplished at this ... it's my every thought.

I did show my teacher the video. She said to me "Honestly, do you really think that guy's only been playing for two years like yourself?"

She may very well be right. All I know is it really breaks my heart to think ... because this is all I truly wish for.

These days, I record some of the pieces I'm working through periodically, like every 2 weeks, and then compare it to the earlier recordings. I rarely notice the day-to-day differences, but the recordings almost always show a very audible improvement.

Sometimes I'll pick up pieces again from the year before, which I could only get up to 80% then. These also tend to be pretty motivational, because often the skill or speed or whatever issues are no longer problems.

You are getting lots of good advice - try listening to it.

Try to also get some perspective. Learning piano doesn't happen quickly.
From the videos it seems to me you're doing just fine for 2 years of playing.

Maybe you can improve the way your practice to get more out of each session, but seriously - you need a reality check on what your expectations.

There are very few people who make stunning progress in 2 years. Very few.
As several people have said, don't compare yourself to others, compare to what you could do 1 year ago, 6 months ago, 3 months ago.

In the first 2 years there is so much to learn - you are learning new things every week - once you have all the absolute beginning steps you're bound to see faster improvement in some areas. Not in all perhaps, but in some.

You have to learn to be a little more patient.

It isn't easy --- we know, we've all had the feelings you're having and we deal with them too.

soundofsilenc3, I have read your post, here:

I've uploaded two songs plus a video from YT. I've reached the point of madness when it comes to trying to progress and get better.

I'm sick and tired of my teacher telling me I'm doing well or really well. Or progressing really well. When I just don't feel that way.

I did at one point. But now the more I listen, the harder I try. The harder I try the more frustrated I get.

I recorded a song and then found the same song YT. It made me feel so inferior, so pathetic. That it almost felt like all this time has been put to waste.

I just don't know what to do anymore. If anyone is willing to comment, advise, rate, or recommend. I'd be more than happy to hear it.

I just don't know why I can't play the bloody song the same way. What is it that I am doing wrong? What am I missing? It's driving me insane ... and I don't know what to do about it.

Even if I am doing well. Or if my teacher is right what so ever. My point is ... until I can do so the same way, I'll never believe it or will I ever feel that way. And I just can't seem to fix that problem.

______________________________________

My sax teacher told me that the guys that are playing very well on the street for change have probably been playing 10 years. Think of all the famous composers, singers, actors, painters that spend a lifetime in poverty.

So the key to life is to enjoy the journey. Think of how lucky you are. You have your health, you have two hands and a brain that enable you to play the piano.

If you can't enjoy the little things in life, then you won't enjoy big stuff either.

I am 63. Over my lifetime, I tried and failed 4 times to try to learn to play the piano. I almost died said the doctors and friends but I was alive in the morning and have continued to be alive. Also I was in hospital for 6 months. That is a long time to be in a hospital.

I don't know how old you are, but if you are 21 and you live to 65, you have 2000 weekends left in your life. I tell you that not to depress you, but to remind you that life is very precious and to enjoy it.

Learning to do anything well takes lots of time over a long time.


You say: I try. The harder I try the more frustrated I get.

I am dyslexic, have learning and memory problems. I failed grades 1 and 3. Everything in life for me is a challenge. It takes me weeks to months just to learn a piece in Book 1 of a piano method book not from memory, but just to play it.

Lots of people get frustrated and some even quit, but for me and others there is no such thing as quiting or giving up. I am going to try to learn to play the piano the best that I can until I die because I love playing those little pieces that I can play on the piano.

You are very lucky to have a teacher to help you. I can't afford a teacher so I have to do the best I can without a teacher but that doesn't stop me. Like you I play the piano everyday. I had pneumonia twice last year and was in the hospital the first time for 10 days and was so weak that I couldn't play the piano so I play my digital on my back on the floor while the digital keyboard piano was sitting on concrete blocks and I slid underneath the keyboard and played it like that until I got well enough to play it sitting on the piano bench. This year I had 6 and 1/2 hours of surgery in January and I was weak again until April so I had to go back and learn stuff again and it took me many months to get back to where I was playing in January because I couldn't play much until April. Life is not always easy but it is very, very interesting. Enjoy - and good luck.

Michael .... Thank you very much for sharing your story.

I appreciate the kindness, generosity and courage that went into your reply. It definitely speaks to the heart and has given myself - as I'm sure many others as well - a highly appreciated perspective.

God bless, my friend.

So now you have the opportunity the learn how to cope with frustration, which is a skill that makes you a better pianist. When you have dealt this situation, I promise you, you will never be at the same frustration level in the future. And most likely, not only in piano playing but in other things in life too. The bad side of this is you have to get through only once.

Try the things written above here, you might have the chance one or two things will work. You'll learn more about yourself anyways, so have fun.

Now the second thing, how to make the song sound in the way you like. That's a different problem. I can only comment that from my own perpective and experience.

You have two years of piano playing. So your technique might not be good enough to play like the sound you have in your head. Now what to do?

To learn the technique just for this song at a very high level, might take you one or two years extra of polishing the piece. I take into account that you'll learn other pieces too and you don't polish it full-time, otherwise you'll hear the song to much. So just every day 10 minutes. Sometimes you lay the piece away for a few weeks. Every measure should be explored how to sound most beautiful according to you.

Once in a while, you just ask your teacher to spend the entire lesson for just a single problem of the piece how to sound it more beautiful and which technique is needed for that.

At the end of that yourney, I think you'll play it better than shown in the third video. Ok, it takes you a long time to bring your first piece at a very high level, but you'll learn a lot of it and its very satisfying to make a sound you think its most beautiful.

As you learn more technique the time for polishing this way for other pieces will decrease, so you might want to do this for just one or two pieces in your reportoire. The rest of the pieces should wait for better technique, otherwise your practise time will be used in a less efficiënt way.

About the complements of your teacher. You'll need to learn how to accept those too. Another skill you'll need to learn.

Have fun with polishing the piece, I think you can make it sound very beautiful. No problem.

I've got to be blunt here. You have two choices. Get over it or be miserable.

If you choose to obsess over how bad you think your playing is relative to somebody else, somewhere who plays the same piece beautifully you will be miserable. Just like you are now. There's no good outcome to that line of thinking, ever.

That guy playing in the video that upset you...if he wanted to he could find a piano player somewhere who is worlds away better than he is. And that other player somewhere could decide his piano playing can never match up to some beautiful singing voice, somewhere. There's no end to it.

Up to you when you stop being miserable. Totally your decision.

Sounds, I understand your frustration. I've been there. Right now you've probably plateaued. That happens for a bit, then suddenly there's a leap forward.

Comparing yourself to yourself is great advice. Go back to the first piece you learned. You know, the 8 bar piece that took you a month. Now you can learn a similar piece in one sitting, I'd bet.

Whenever i learn a new piece of mysic, i often listen and watch experienced pianists. I don't compare myself to them however. I use them as inspiration. I only compare myself to myself. Myself 5 months ago couldn't play a lick of piano. You shouldn't be too hard on yourself...let yourself breathe a little. Patience is what I've learned from this instrument. Some pieces are hard to learn and take time to mature. Maybe even let the piece go unplayed for a few days. In time, you'll get to the point where you are satisfied with that piece. Maybe just not now but it will happen!

I just listened to your videos. They sound great. Stop beating yourself up.

Sounds: I quite liked your playing of Requiem. Where did you find the music?

I fully relate to your frustration. I started playing piano so I could play cool songs yet I found myself playing toy songs for the first two years. When I tried to play real pieces I was terribly frustrated at how slow I was to learn them. I responded by pulling in my ambitions and playing pieces I liked but in Easy Piano arrangements. I hope that before I check out (I'm 71) that I will be able to play the cool pieces as written.

So, no real advice, just don't feel lonely. I think most of we average players (those who took nine months to get through Alfred I represents the average according to a poll taken here on PW) get the same feelings. And yes, it does make me feel as if I must be brain damaged when I hear a guy who has been playing for 7 months play like this Cgyan playing I Gorni while we average people are still struggling to get through Alfred's I.

Just stick with it if you can and eventually you will be playing like a pro (unless you run out of time as I am afraid I might :-).

BTW: Casini mentioned in another thread how mentally exhausted she was after struggling with a new piece for 15 minutes. I too have found I can play pieces I know for hours but learning new pieces fags my brain after a very short while. Glad to know I'm not alone about that also.

If you want to learn to play piano, you have to acquire the knowledge you can't think of. If this wasn't the case, we'd all know from the start what we have to do to progress and all become really good really fast (when this obviously isn't the case). The alternative to this is not understanding the methods behind acquiring progress, but just doing them anyways, but this involves completely trusting and putting faith in a very good teacher (and doing what they tell you to). If you're going to have a teacher, put your faith in them and follow their methods as best as your time enables you to, else, why have one. Don't get me wrong - if you're interested (as all adults seem to be), an explanation of why you're being told to do something should certainly be given, but the instruction needs to be followed for progress to occur, regardless. Communicate all concerns with your teacher as best you can if you want to establish and maintain a working relationship.

You guys are all so great.

Thanks for all the input.

If anyone would like the Requiem sheets feel free to grab a copy here:

http://www.sendspace.com/file/7d3yv4