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This has been a busy wedding weekend in Lexington. In addition to my daughter's gig (which went uneventfully, she tells me, phew!), a wedding made front page news here when the bride and groom's convertible was T-boned by a police cruiser that ran a red light:

Police cruiser hits convertible carrying wedding couple

Adding to the irony is that the police car was carrying a local citizen as part of the Citizen Police Academy program, wherein a community member gets to shadow a police officer for a week. The goal of the program is to promote goodwill and better communication among community and the police force. Somehow I think that mowing down a bride and groom is not exactly going to help advance that aim.

The poor bride was sent flying from the convertible, having apparently made the tragic decision that Just This Once she would not buckle her seat belt and ruin the appearance of her lovely gown. All told, five people from two cars were sent to the hospital. Fortunately nobody was hurt too seriously, but I think it is safe to say that this was NOT what the bride and groom had hoped for as a wedding night.

One of our former singers retired a few years ago and moved out west. I had never been to his house, but I am told he had made many unusual decorating choices. For one, he had done all the walls in wood paneling. All the walls. His rationale was that he would then never need to paint anything. This even extended to some of the window frames, as he had actually paneled right over a few windows.

How is this on topic, if this thread can be said to have a topic? It isn't, not directly anyway. Consider it character development before the main plot.

I didn't know he had a piano. He didn't play an instrument in the band, although I had occasionally seen him pick out a tune on guitar. The first I heard of his piano, a Steinway upright, was when he told us he had hacked it into small bits and put it out as trash.

He claimed that there was simply no other way to get it out of the house; it was too big for the openings. Did he think they had put the Steinway in first, and then built the house up around it? I asked him that, but such logic was lost on him.

Maybe he had paneled over a garage door somewhere and had simply forgotten it.

I have heard of someone who had an upright moved upstairs. Then the stairs were carpeted, and the piano would no longer fit coming downstairs. Most people never notice how small the perpendicular distance from the stairs to the overhead in an interior staircase can be.

Greg, that wood paneling guy sounds like a trip. maybe he paneled himself into a corner?

Monica, what a harrowing story! Jeez.

I'm playing a wedding tonight. The bride requested all music from my recordings, so that's an easy gig for me. They seem like really nice people, so I doubt that anything bizarre will happen. But you never know. There's always a crazy Aunt Edna, Uncle Hoagie, or Cousin Jethrine hiding in the wings, waiting for a public occasion to create a spectacle.

I'll file a report tomorrow.

Let's Talk Riots:

Dateline Paris, May 29, 1913 – Take that, Belle Epoque: Le Sacre du Printemps, a ballet with music by Igor Stravinsky, was first performed at the Théâtre des Champs-Élysées in Paris. Choreographed by Vaslav Njinski, produced by impresario Serge Diaghilev, with Pierre Monteux conducting under the Ballets Russes, and with original set design and costumes by archaeologist and painter Nicholas Roerich.

A riot. Though true that there was bickering backstage, which some say contributed to the tension in the front of the house, critics point to the onstage blood sacrifice as the firecracker which ignited the puddle of gasoline in the audience. "In denial," is all I can say to that; a vernal virgin sacrifice has a long and distinguished tradition in back of it, and you don't hear anyone making a fuss over, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." From the apple's point of view, it's six of one--- and I can assure you that apples have sayings that run along the lines of, "A virgin a year keeps the gypsy moths clear."

The premiere was not heard at all over the din, though subsequent performances were uneventful even on the London stage, and the work has endured although actual virgins have become very scarce.

No doubt, our distinguished PianoWorld performance veterans know the story far better than I, so I'll leave my ridiculous opinion to do the best it can on its own. All I'll say is, no matter how badly your worst recent performance may have gone, look back to Sacre and count your lucky stars, because it could have been a lot worse.

Yet, Njinksy, Diaghlev and Stravinsky dined together after the performance and expressed their satisfaction. And 98 years later, we're still listening; I am, anyway. Right now.

______________________
Clef

PS- "...The bride was sent flying from the convertible..."

This is eerily like the Society Page coverage; they need only add, "The bride was sent flying from the convertible in a veil of white illusion trimmed with seed pearls, and an off-the-shoulder gown of silk charmeuse, with sateen half-pumps, the matron of honor said. Witnesses said she looked like a white-clad Superman as she jetted through the windshield, and was still clutching a bouquet of orchids, tulips, and white freesias as she fetched up on a telephone pole.

"It is not true that one is better off being thrown from the vehicle," officers at the scene said, "so buckle up, gown or no gown."

Oh wait, this is real--- in that case, it's not funny. I'm glad the bride was ok. Still, this is a Lets Talk Weddings classic, Monica. It was Sacre du Printemps all over again.

And in other Cautionary Tales News:
Dateline Bridezilla. First the bride paid for the hall with a phony credit card-- no go. Then she tried giving them a bad check--- no again. They insisted on cash, she balked saying she was too busy getting her toenails done to go to the bank. They told her that she and her toenails could get married on the sidewalk. In the end... I changed channels. I think she stuck Daddy with the bill.

It reminded me of that wonderful story of the groom's father picking the pocket of the bride's father and stealing all the cash for the hall rental. They only found out because it came up on someone's video footage. I want to hear more stories like that, lots more.

Though... there couldn't be lots more of those out there.

You can read about it from one of the horse's mouths here.

I have also read Pierre Monteaux' comments in one of his wife's books. Another interesting take on the subject is Antheil's Bad Boy of Music, where he talks about being asked to play at a recital, and it becomes clear that the hosts were hoping a riot would break out. Antheil began bringing a gun to his concerts, which he would take out and lay on the piano within easy reach, just in case. How many of you wish that was politically correct nowadays?

True. Rather like a high school dance. From the vantage point of a raised stage (or a group of cafeteria tables lashed together to simulate a stage), a HS Dance fight looks almost exactly like a magnet dropped into a dish of iron filings. All the kids are quickly sucked into a tightly-packed circle.




Shame on you for that last bit, and shame on me for laughing so hard.

Today in Wedding History:

June 2, 1886 – U.S. President Grover Cleveland married Frances Folsom in the White House, becoming the only president to wed in the executive mansion. Several presidential daughters, however, have also enjoyed White House weddings: Trishia Nixon comes to mind but only because the movie "Trisha's Wedding" was so vivid. I'm SURE the real ceremony was nothing like the movie.

June 2, 1904 – The birthday of Johnny Weissmuller, American swimming champion and actor (Tarzan). At five marriages Zsa Zsa and Liz have him beat, but five is up there, and they don't have six Olympic medals (five of them gold). As far as I know, there is no event for Divorcee Championship, though of course there is always the luge or the steeplechase.

Johnny passed away in 1984 at the age of 79, having broken his hip and a leg and finally succumbing to a heart condition. But I prefer to remember him for his first movie role in 1929, when he appeared as an Adonis, wearing only a fig leaf. You may think this showed great economy for the production's bottom line, but it is more tricky for the wardrobe department than you might realize. His Tarzan yell was a mixture of three blended voice recordings: a soprano, an alto, and a hog caller. Anyone who knows fig leaves knows that they are on the prickly side.

Retraction:
LTW by policy prints retractions and corrections which are brought to our attention. We recently reported that the bride who was thrown from the nuptial convertible, by the force with which the vehicle was t-boned, fetched up on a telephone pole. This was not the case; she actually fetched up on a newspaper rack. The telephone pole was undamaged. LTW regrets the error.

I hardly dare mention cucumbers on the "Let's Talk Weddings" thread, having gotten into serious trouble when the bride's mother overheard a private remark I made to another wedding guest, in regard to another guest's gift of a turkey baster. (This is why most of us stick to gravy boats, and let the turkey takes its chances.)

But, since Germany has borne the brunt of the recent mutant e. coli outbreak, and since cucumbers have been accused, I'd like to offer my best hopes for the good health of Robin and her family. And we thought salads were the way to get there! I include the extended family at the castle, and all the wedding parties in my good wishes. Honeymoon nightmare--- almost as bad as a car crash, if not worse.

We may speak lightly, but this illness can make you very sick, indeed, and I hope this dark angel has flapped elsewhere.

Speaking of hog calling, California's last e. coli contamination incident occurred when wild hogs broke into a field of spinach--- the most innocent place you could imagine. If only Popeye were not only a cartoon character! (I suspected his nemesis, Bluto, all along.) But who or what might be the nemesis of the cucumber, I can't even think. No, not going there.

The latest reports indicate that it was a bum rap. The cucumbers were not the culprits.

The spinach growers made a fuss, too. And no doubt, it cost them a good few bucks. But when agribusiness's products are making people deathly ill--- well, I'm sorry if it costs them some money, but the German authorities had to do something, and fast. The protection of the public's health is their charge, not the protection of Spain's cucumber industry. Whoever the guilty culprit is discovered to be, they're not going to be all that happy about it.

But, the troubles will pass, and the world will smile on the cucumber again.

Clef, I am DYING here with the cucumber comments. You and I are cut of the same cloth, at least as far as humor goes. Or cucumbers.

So. Frank is over here with the PW European tour. And of course they are in Northern Germany, where the e. coli outbreak is happening as I write this. I am imagining the German tour guide yelling, "NO SALAD!!! ORDER THE BRATWURST!!!" (We won't get into that, either)

Anyway, Frank, if you're reading this, I hope you're having a ball and that you're avoiding the sprouts (the source, at least according to the latest report). Here's a tip: Stick to beer, coffee, and chocolate.

I will be meeting Frank and company tomorrow when we visit the piano atelier at the Westdeutscher Rundfunk (WDR) where my husband works. John has arranged a tour with Hans Giese, the hotshot head technician in charge of the best pianos in Germany. Should be fun! And then on Wednesday, the PW group will head to Schloss Lerbach, where I will present a program for them. Lerbach has very graciously arranged a reception for the group. Do we love Lerbach, or what?

It would have been best if I could have had the group crash a wedding at Lerbach, but alas, this will have to do.

By the way, wedding report from last week: The groom had a TWIN. I spent the first hour of the gig thinking the groom was schizo, because every time I saw him he had a different personality. One time he would be pleasant and charming, the next time he would be scowling and nasty. Finally, I saw them together and I realized I had been dealing with two separate people.

The actual groom was the happy one, you'll be relieved to know.

Looking forward to filing a report about the PW tour group in the next few days. Stay tuned!

Any chance of some PICTURES of the tour group at Lerbach? Please?

The psychologist in me can't help but ponder the strange case of the happy groom and nasty/scowling twin brother. Could it be a tragic love triangle where the brother also hopelessly loves the bride and is in despair over seeing his twin and rival win her affections?

Can't wait to hear how the PW visit to Castle Lerbach went. Wish I could have been there!

Tomorrow and Yesterday in Wedding History:

June 13, 1525 – Martin Luther marries Katharina von Bora, defying the ban on marriage for priests, though he had already been thrown out of the clergy (and as a communicant) as of 1521. All that very public dissent, and flouting a direct order by the Pope, to quiet down and retract everything. Anyway, the shock value of the wedding was not what it might have been. Still, there it is.

June 11, 1509 – Henry VIII of England marries Catherine of Aragon. No, it didn't work out; no living male issue and anyway... serial monogamy. It suits some but not all. Sperm was not as well-understood back then as it is today, conveniently allowing fathers of girls to blame the mother. Of course, it has been better-studied since those days, and we expect that more exciting discoveries will be made with yet further study.

Also, the sack of Troy on June 11, 1184... just for a little news color. And let's see... "June 13, 1881 – The USS Jeannette is crushed in an Arctic Ocean ice pack." No; colorful maybe, but the wrong color.

Ah, here we are! "June 13, 1955 – Mir Mine, the first diamond mine in the USSR, is discovered by Soviet geologists who are subsequently awarded the Lenin Prize Brides Magazine Story of the Year award." Hmmm... in Siberia; well, you can't have everything. The largest gem was discovered--- mark your calendars and remind your husbands--- on December 23, 1980; it weighed 342.5 carats (68 g--- over two ounces) and was named XXVI съезд КПСС, or "26th Congress CPSU." Well. There are certain things about everyone it's better to overlook, and I think a lot of ladies would let you call a rock that size anything you liked.


__________________________________________________________________
News reports were culled from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/June_13

All I meant to say in my last post (not realizing the uproar would crash the server) is that you either have a Y-chromosome, or you don't. Let's leave tetraploids out of this, for the moment. And the only place for one to come from, is the XY daddy, as the ladies have XX and XX only. This was, of course, not known in the time of Henry VIII; an expensive sin of emission for numerous of his wives. Six royal weddings; think of the fuss. For the times, it was very daring, although Liz and Zsa Zsa have lowered the limbo bar quite a bit since (even if we only allowed an inch for each additional marriage over His Majesty's... dare I say it... head count). (I'm sure the wives didn't think it was so funny, of course.)

But, on to happier news: Filene's Basement, well known for its annual sale on wedding gowns (although bridesmaids are still on their own), has become a franchise. Several cities on the East Coast have hosted similar events, and it has finally come to the West Coast. It was just on TV: the big wedding dress sale will be this weekend, at a Grocery Outlet somewhere in the East Bay. The news anchors had a fine chuckle over it, but if they had marriage-age daughters, ninety-nine bucks for a designer wedding gown might not have sounded like such a punch line when the rest of the wedding bills came in.

Look out, Europe--- it's headed your way.

Talking of weddings what would you do if you were in a wedding band and the bride requested that you play a specific song for the first dance? This song is in a genre that is out of the comfort zone for your band and though you may be able to play it you are not so sure that it will come out well. Do you try to play it anyway or do you tell her that there is no way that you will play it?

June 10, 2009 12:06 PM Let's Talk Weddings
Piano Girl RMG Offline
500 Post Club Member Registered: June 24, 2007
Posts: 503
Loc: Germany

"Hi Everyone,
Here it is. June. Wedding month. I'm up to my eyeballs in brides and Pachelbel. Any of you playing weddings this month? Receptions or ceremonies, it doesn't matter. . . I'm looking for good wedding stories from musicians."

Story of my life: I'm exactly two weeks late remembering the anniversary. It's a good thing I'm not actually married; that would have been expensive.

My excuse is that I read the wrong date on the header--- could have happened to anyone. The good side of this is, I looked up other things which have happened on June 24, and the best I could come up with was "an outbreak of St. Vitus Dance in Aachen, Germany in 1374, which spread throughout Europe and affected thousands of people over several centuries." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dancing_mania

Don't kill the messenger. This clearly qualifies, under the "Receptions" clause.

However, on June 10, all I see of relevance is the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous, in 1935; 629 years too late, according to some. I am not sure whether to place this anniversary in "Honeymoons" or "Hangovers."

Anyway, Happy Anniversary, "Let's Talk Weddings."

____________________________________
Clef

PS: To Chris G.: "...what would you do if ... the bride requested that you play a specific song for the first dance? ...though you may be able to play it you are not so sure that it will come out well. Do you try to play it anyway or do you tell her that there is no way that you will play it?"

Well, Chris--- since you made the rookie error of asking what I would do--- the answer is, tell the bride, "Sure," and then play whatever you want.

Since no one else is answering.

There are ways to soften this. Evasion, distraction, tap-dancing, changing the subject, common and fancy prevaricating, remembering the conversation differently than the bride does. I suppose just plain "No" would work, if it comes to that.

If put to it, at least move the number lower in the set order. If you lay an egg with the first song, there could be an egg fight in the liquored-up reception crowd. Later in the evening, their memories will be impaired.

Remember, you never get a second chance to make a bad first impression.

happy registering anniversary Robin!

that quote should be enshrined somewhere Jeff... kind of convoluted but strong!

Hi Everyone!

I haven't been murdered by a a raging bride, I just needed a little computer break. I like to dry out every so often. But here, I am, back in the wedding saddle.

Oh, Clef, one can only hope the grocery store bridal sale comes to Europe. What a thing.

A report on the Swiss bride—she of the schedule that looked like a timetable for incoming flights at Newark airport:

4:00 Bride stands on top of castle terrace stairs
4:00:20 Pastor asks audience to stand
4:01 Frau Goldsby plays River Flows in You
4:01:30 Bride and father descend staircase
4: 04: 40 Frau Goldsby stops playing
4:05:10 Audience sits down

And so on. I have been communicating with this very sweet but micromanaging bride for 14 months now, and have come to the conclusion that the Swiss make the Germans look chaotic.

Anyway, being a firm believer in Clef's advice to just smile, nod, agree to anything, and then just do whatever you want, I swore to her that I would hold to her timetable. She had based the play times on my music on my CDs and it didn't make any sense to tell her that I improvise and never play the song the same way twice—"improvise" is a dirty word for most brides.

Well. The one thing our bride couldn't control was the weather. She had planned for her entire ceremony to be held outdoors, with a very long processional down the stone staircase into the rose garden. Beautiful! But Friday was a weird day. Thunderstorms, periods of bright sunshine, followed by drizzle. My poor colleagues at the castle were going nuts trying to decide whether or not to go to Plan B. The white grand piano rented for the occasion determined the outcome. No way could the hotel risk a downpour with a €20,000 rental instrument on the front lawn.

Plan B involved holding the ceremony in the front parlor. Fine. But this really screwed up The Timetable since the walk from the door to the altar took, no kidding, ten seconds. Our bride really loves "River Flows in You," but no way was I going to play the long version with everyone standing there. I looked over my shoulder at our bride and she was weeping. I don't know if she was moved by the music or upset by the weather—maybe a little of both. I finished after one chorus (and even that seemed like an eternity) and everyone sat down.

Other selections for the ceremony? "Legends of the Fall," our very favorite Pachelbel Canon in D, and a piece of mine called "Magic in the Night."

The Swiss bride, I must say, was stunning. Maybe one of the prettiest dresses I've ever seen. Very simple white chiffon with a tasteful train, low cut back, and a neckline embroidered with Austrian crystals. No veil, just simple upswept hair. I tried not to stand next to her because she was a size zero and made me feel like a blimp.

We had another wedding last week at the castle. An Indian bride. I knew something was up when I walked into the main hall and saw a Hindu shrine with pyramids of candles and incense on an embroidered cloth that was obviously not from the castle linen closet. Many of thefemale guests were in saris, but the bride herself was radiant in a big fluffy puffy Diana kind of dress. She was not a size zero, which I found refreshing.But where did she get that dress? Maybe there was one of those bridal gown grocery store sales in Mumbai? Now there's a great scene for a film. . .

There are more weddings coming up—one, I am told, with a Japanese bride. The host has promised to provide me with an interpreter. Imagine the possibilities. It has been a very busy season, and as the mother of two teenagers getting ready for college, I am grateful for the work!

Chris, I may be too late to answer your question, but it seems to me you have two choices.

1. Muddle through the song and hope for the best. The bride and groom will be too hyped up to notice any mistakes, and all attention will be on them anyway. Believe me, I have done a fair amount of muddling in my wedding career.
2. Easier choice: Run a recording of what they want to hear through your sound system. If it's for the first dance, they will have practiced to this song and will only be happy with this particular version.

WOW! Two whole years of Let's Talk Weddings! I am proud of us! And having just met the PW tour group here in Germany, I can tell you that everyone is reading this thread!

Write on, read on, keep those brides marching down the aisle and into (and out of) our lives.

the wedding saddle.... (hmmmmmm

I really enjoy looking at Indian clothes in the ethnic clothing section of ebay.. this morning I looked at Indian dresses.. they can be so beautiful.

I envy your opportunity to see gorgeous gowns Robin.