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#2161740 - 10/04/13 01:10 PM Original Song - Silent Sky
Steve Warner Offline
Full Member

Registered: 09/18/13
Posts: 23
Loc: New York, New York
Here is an original song I wrote a while back called "Silent Sky."

http://pianoonlinemusic.bandcamp.com/track/silent-sky



and here I am performing it live:



Edited by Steve Warner (10/04/13 01:10 PM)

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#2162490 - 10/06/13 11:06 AM Re: Original Song - Silent Sky [Re: Steve Warner]
Steve Chandler Offline
2000 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 2898
Loc: Urbandale, Iowa
Hi Steve,

You obviously put a lot of work into composing, learning, and performing this piece. Sorry you haven't gotten a response until now. You're a capable player with some skills, but my first response was that you use way too much pedal, it's all mushy. It sounds vaguely Hebraic, there's nothing right or wrong about that, though it's not a style that appeals to me. Some of your transitional harmonies are interesting, but the actual sections are straightforward so there's a lack of cohesiveness because you go from odd transition to normal. If your harmony is going to be quirky it should be most quirky of the time with occasional bits of normal. I don't get a sense of relationship between the sections and the only one that came back was the first section which returns briefly at the end.

In this piece you've got lots of semi-virtuosic runs that are a bit beyond your ability to pull off. Most importantly, I don't hear any relationship between the virtuosic material and the rest of the piece, so it sounds like it's there just to give you an opportunity to show off, which sadly doesn't work because you don't quite pull it off.

You're a smart guy and a capable player, but this piece doesn't engage my ear. I prefer a piece where there is thematic transformation of a small amount of material. Reusing motives gives a piece cohesiveness, but each time with slight differences in either execution of direction. Think of it like characters in a book, each time they appear in the story they're in a different place, situation, clothes, emotional state and more. There's plenty to work with. Your job as composer is to tell their story.

I hope you find my comments helpful.

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#2162990 - 10/07/13 12:00 PM Re: Original Song - Silent Sky [Re: Steve Warner]
Steve Warner Offline
Full Member

Registered: 09/18/13
Posts: 23
Loc: New York, New York
Steve,

Thank you for your feedback. I pretty much agree with everything you're saying here. Note that I wrote this song (and most of my songs) many years ago when I was a much better piano player. A few years ago I was able to play this piece effortlessly, but unfortunately, I didn't have the technology (or desire) to record myself properly back then.

As far as the songwriting itself, I agree that it's a bit all over the map. For some reason when I was younger this kind of messy writing appealed to me. But I have written a few pieces which are much more cohesive.

Thanks again for the honest feedback - it's always appreciated.

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