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I have a better suggestion.

Back in the 70's, Stephen Stills (of Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young) wrote the classic Love the One You're With.

The pianist for my wedding (jazz trio---so it wasn't just piano) threatened top play "Prisoner of Love."

apple*, every once in a while the universe throws so many curveballs at you there is no option other than throw up your hands, laugh helplessly, and go play the piano. It sounds like this is one of those times in your life. Realize that you can't change your in-laws and do what you need to do for yourself at this time.

Anyone know who played the Clinton wedding? Now there's a gig that's bound to have some stories attached to it.

I could not tell from the news report.

What, they didn't use your demo CD?

Mr. President does indeed have my CD (and a copy of Piano Girl), a story you'll read about in the next book. But sadly, he didn't write, he didn't call. Would have loved to have played that wedding!

Okay, no joke. headline in the County Sligo newspaper: Naked Man On Roof Arrested. The article also mentioned his girth. Do you suppose this is Greg's "Jiggler on the Roof" guy? Could be. Let us not forget—in Sligo I was staying in a hotel on Mental Hospital Road.

Spent the last day on one of the Aran Islands. If you've ever thought about visiting Ireland, go for it. It is incredibly beautiful here.

Bill had asked me but i was busy. darn, I wish you i had known of your interest Robin.

Mental Hospital Road, you say? A resort, is it?

I like to think that it is simply that Ireland has come, though hard experience (all those depressing months of rainy weather; potato famine and mass starvation; bubonic plague; civil unrest; sectarian violence; foreign rule; partition; a serious and widespread alcohol problem; the enshrinement of depression within the national character; need I go on), to value and even treasure mental health. We should all take a lesson. If that place is a resort, maybe more of us should be taking vacations.

No, I mean it. It's a crazy world; we either make an effort to hold on to our sanity, or watch out hairdo's wilt from the steam coming out of our ears. Now you know that is expensive.

Being Irish on my mother's side (and Scots in one branch of the family), I know what I'm talking about. But, my red hair and musical ability come through those same genes, and there's an argument to be made that my dark outlook crazy sense of humor does, also. But enough about that--- you did bring up the subject, Robin. Several times... and I hope its in the book.

Now, as to this epidemic of nudity. Rooftop nudity. International eye-popping jelly-roll-flaunting wedding-ruining booty-shaking nudity, with its girth published in the public press. Like some germ-warfare experiment that got loose from a guarded secret lab and its--- dismayed? Or maybe not--- rogue-scientists, I have to wonder if this may have been some Jenny Craig publicity stunt that got away from them and went terribly wrong. Or maybe Nutri-System had an idea for some TV endorsement scheme, which they have now thought better of, and pray never comes to light.

If some cable-news investigative bulldog reporter gets their jaws into it, the bite could be worse than a pack of pit-bulls. Sit back, folks, and don't change the channel: more, and worse, after this message from our sponsor, Weight Watchers.

As for the disappointing neglect of the President and Secretary of State. You know they are very busy and their time is taken up with this and that, all matters of great importance. They are known to be voracious readers (and music lovers); I'm sure they enjoyed Piano Girl and the CD, even if they did not write or call through some oversight. And the wedding, well, Chelsea probably picked out the music herself, and if her mother liked your CD, she would be sure to pick out something else. You know how kids are. The veil of silence precludes us from knowing of her preferences, and who could blame her since those very cruel remarks Rush Limbaugh made about her appearance as a sensitive teenager--- I won't repeat them. Anyway, she has outgrown that ugly-duckling stage (and ill-considered curly perm) and made a lovely bride. And it may be worth mentioning that the task of staging a wedding that would be acceptable to both the Jewish and the Methodist sides of her new extended family, must have presented certain challenges. No doubt there were political considerations in the choice of artists and repertory.

Besides, you were vacationing in the Emerald Isle, with a husband you already have. You, too, are a person busy with matters of importance.

In other wedding news, the television reported a mishap at a lakeside wedding, involving a misunderstanding with a bride and a swan. Let's just say it: the swan got after the bride. Probably some territorial issue. It is known to happen with their relatives, the geese, who are known for their aggressive manners and short tempers. I once suggested, to a friend, a piano tuner, who had a problem with intruders, that she keep a few geese on the property as watch-dogs (so to speak). "Those guys will be back over the fence before you can say 'concertina wire,'" I told her. But she was never one for animals, and instead sold the place during a real-estate boom.

There's the song "Wedding Dress", which I think is quite beautiful.

http://www.youtube.com/user/ADuckFatality#p/c/4A3A3C4BB0AC9C2C/2/J_8Mt80MJ1Q

But the actual lyrics are extremely sad and not really suitable to play at a wedding unless you're into those kind of things =)

"Today in Wedding History:" 1693, Dom Perignon invents champagne.

And in associated news, on August 1, 2010, the surface of the sun seethed as FOUR coronal mass ejections sent as many as ten billion tons of charged particles on a three-to-four-day journey from the sun, toward the earth, resulting in widespread displays of aurora borealis and aurora australis. For those contemplating hastily-planned weddings, the next few evenings might be a good time to celebrate them in Canada, Alaska, Siberia, the Scandanavian countries, Antarctica, and New Zealand. Excellent wedding photos were obtained as far south as Lake Superior.
http://spaceweather.com
http://www.nasa.gov/topics/solarsystem/sunearthsystem/main/News080210-cme.html

And, on the night of August 12/13, the annual Perseid meteor shower reaches its maximum, when as many as 50 - 80 meteors per hour may be seen in a good viewing year. The position of the radiant favors Northern Hemisphere viewers.

Aurorae and the full moon are not so favorable for meteor viewing; dark skies are preferred for these ephemera, though wedding planners view the full moon as more dependable when engaging caterers, preachers, and musicians.
http://meteorshowersonline.com/

The U.S. Naval Observatory lunar ephemeris was not consulted for this story. However, it's possible that it may not matter:

"On September 1–2, 1859, the largest recorded geomagnetic storm occurred. Aurorae were seen around the world, most notably over the Caribbean; also noteworthy were those over the Rocky Mountains that were so bright, the glow awoke gold miners, who began preparing breakfast because they thought it was morning."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1859_solar_superstorm
http://www.usno.navy.mil/USNO/astronomical-applications/data-services

That song's popping up everywhere this week! Is there a tune? I can't make one out from the piano versions I'm hearing, most of which seem to suffer from drum-machine-inflicted rigor mortis.

Oh Clef, thank you for those beautiful descriptions of all things aurora and meteor. Who needs those wedding fireworks when you've got this? Several years ago I had to play to accompany a firework display. The wedding couple wanted (OF COURSE) the Pachelbel Canon. I have to say it was kind of cool playing that delicate piece with fireworks going off. There's a type of firework that is "silent." Much better than the big boomers.

No kidding, just yesterday my dear husband the bass player was contacted about doing a jazz tour of Siberia. Sadly, he was booked and had to turn it down. Wait until i tell him what he's missing in the Siberian sky.

Wombat, I'm guessing that what "Wedding Dress" song has is a really great title. As far as the tune goes, well, I probably won't be playing it, mainly because, like you, I can't figure out the melody!

I'm back at home now and headed to the castle again on Friday. Weddings going on left and right. The World Cup in June pushed the entire wedding season back a month.

I left it out of the story, but there also have been a surprising number of near-earth-crossing asteroids recently, in case those foot-dragging wedding planners are thinking of putting it off still longer. Talk about 'crashing the party.'

Bill Clinton at an event for hours with pretty women dressed to the hilt. I bet there are some stories...

Doesn't Bill play the sax? I hear he's a pretty good jazz player.. Maybe he sat in with the band at the wedding.

No asteroids this weekend, but lots of pretty wedding weather. My husband played a "jazz wedding" last night—duo: guitar and bass. All went smoothly until a group of eighty-year olds pulled their table up right in front of John's amp. He said one woman was so close, he could have tapped her on the shoulder while he was playing. This happens quite often . . . the seniors insist on sitting right next to the music and then they complain that we're too loud.

Anyway, it all worked out, except that the caterer—who was serving really sloppy finger food (obviously this was NOT at my castle) refused to give the guitar player a fork and there was almost an altercation.

"What? he said. "If I give YOU a fork then everyone will want one."

The guitar player got the fork. Score one for the jazz guys.

Oh BTW, this wedding took place at the summer home of Napoleon's sister, in Aachen. I love that very European detail. Jeff, take this and run with it.

If you go to my web gallery page
http://www.goldsby.de/robin/gallery.php
you can see a really funny picture of me with President Clinton. He was the "other" author being interviewed the day I taped "All Things Considered." I just about had a heart attack. He didn't have his saxophone with him that day, but we did have quite an amusing conversation.

Now THAT'S a photo to keep framed and sitting around casually in one's home, the positioning of which would be carefully and strategically planned so that visitors can't help but see it but so it's not too prominent.

[Note to self: If ever playing a wedding gig, pack a spare fork in the supply case.]

Yes, Monica, you can stash the fork in your gig bag with the extension cord and gaffers tape.

I was once served some gooey sort of fabulous chocolate truffle while playing a party at a private home that might as well have been a castle. The guests were all outside in the sculpture garden and I was in the music conservatory playing a Steinway D that was situated next to the windows so that everyone could hear. In a way, it was the ideal gig--nobody around to bug me, except there was a stuffed ostrich next to the piano (actually it was some famous taxidermy work of art, with an ostrich body, peacock parts, and a goose head. I could have lived without having to look at that thing all night. Variations on a Bird.

But I digress. The waiter or butler or whatever he was offered me one of these fancy chocolates, and I was STARVING so I took it. Bad move---I immediately had dark chocolate all over my fingers. And I was playing a piano with ivory keys. The rest you can guess. Emergency trip to the guest potty. Never ever eat at the piano, even if you do have a fork and a napkin.

That photo with Clinton is so goofy. Glad you got a laugh out of it!

Isn't there some kind of Swiss Army Knife that has a spork on it? The kind of thing that ought to go in every gig bag, that, and a pair of ice tongs in case they serve ribs or fried chicken.

Forgive me for not following up on Napoleon's sister--- I did look her up. An interesting story, maybe too interesting for PianoWorld, especially the story about kidnapping the pope.** But I was busy with my opera libretto, The Curse of the Oily Escapement, on the Piano forum ("Very Unhappy with my New Piano," the kind of thread that just shows you how the summer has been slow on news). That, and trying to figure out what cables to order to hook up the various electronic instruments and speakers that go with my DP. I used colored pencils to make the drawing more intelligible, but I ran out of colors. An octopus would have run out of tentacles.



**Elisa Bonaparte did not, herself, kidnap the Pope, but merely failed to welcome him personally as His Holiness and the kidnappers passed through Florence, Elisa's seat of government, and in fact told the kidnappers to move on along, wishing to avoid trouble with her brother. However, there was trouble anyway. Damned if you do, as they say.

There were many other interesting things about her. A person far ahead of her time... and maybe ahead of our time, too.

From (a much longer article) on Wiki:

"Élisa also got caught up in Napoleon's removal of pope Pius VII. Pius had opposed the Empire's annexation of the Papal States, refused to renounce his temporal powers and excommunicated Napoleon in the bull Quum memoranda on 10 June 1809, and so Napoleon put general Étienne Radet in charge of removing the pope and thus the opposition he was arousing against Napoleon. The removal occurred on the night of 6 July 1809 and in the following days took the pope towards Savona, passing by Florence, where Élisa not only did not welcome the pope in person but also asked his kidnappers to get out of the area as soon as possible, so as not to displease her brother by welcoming his enemy too comfortably or too long."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisa_Bonaparte