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Originally Posted by Cardinal201
my son is currently playing from Tchaikovsky's Op. 39, Burgmuller's Op. 100, Schumann's Op. 68, Clementi's Op. 36, and the Notebook for Anna Magdalena Bach. He is also working through Czerny-Germer's Selected Piano Studies.

Just to be nit-picky a little...

The Czerny-Germer tome is something I'd never use. It's truly a collection of "the worst of the worst" studies. Some very questionable fingering and repertoire choices in that book. I once had a transfer student who came to me with it, and I had to teach from that awful book because his mother was brainwashed into thinking every good pianist learned Czerny exercises every week.

Clementi Op. 36 is popular with older beginners. It is not appropriate for children with small hands. There are octave stretches everywhere.


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AZNpiano, agreed about the Clementi! My son's teacher writes in adjustments for my son (e.g. separating the notes in octave passages rather than playing legato), but then you lose the intended feel of the piece. I much prefer the other repertoire he is learning. I have no particular view on the Czerny-Germer as I have no alternative point of comparison. What etudes do you prefer to teach?

The Monkeys, thank you for sharing your experience. landorrano, I appreciate your perspective, as well. It's all very helpful!

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I'm sure there are many helpful tips in here, so many I don't have time to read them all (lol), but this is a common concern for many involved parents. smile So common in fact, I dedicated a page on my website specifically helping PARENT with their kids piano lessons.
You can browse the topics, because some are just for the kids, and then some are basics for parents. Here is the section for online music lessons to help PARENTS learn! smile

[url=http://www.elizabethfarrellmusic.com/online-music-courses-lessons-tips/parent-resources][/url] http://www.elizabethfarrellmusic.com/online-music-courses-lessons-tips/parent-resources

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Update: I really think I am doing something wrong, because my child's playing appears to be worsening the more he practices. For example, two months ago he started learning his pieces for his teacher's end of year recital, had the basics (notes, rhythm, dynamics) down and memorized within two weeks, and then spent the last month and a half polishing and developing the musicality of the pieces (in addition to learning several études and other pieces that he won't be performing). Unfortunately, my son's playing of the recital pieces seemed to have peaked several weeks ago and then started to regress! I feel incredibly helpless, as my son has been working really hard and yet it's actually been counterproductive. The teacher would give him corrections, which I would help him apply at home, only to then have something else (usually very basic) go to pot. The recital was this afternoon, and the little guy had several unclean staccato jumps in one of his pieces--something that just came up in the last few days of practice but had never been an issue beforehand. He put up a good front, but I know he was frustrated with his performance, as he has been at practice lately as well.

I'm scared the kiddo is burnt out--that my acting as practice helper, even though it was at the teacher's bidding, has put him under too much pressure. I feel awful, just completely inadequate.

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I'm sure a couple of blurred jumps didn't spoil the performance. In fact I recently heard a broadcast of Perahia playing the Schumann concerto with the BSO and he blurred a couple octaves in the final cascade. It did not by any means make it a bad performance. Things happen when performing.

6-year-olds go through peaks and valleys, don't worry, just keep praising and cheering for what he is legitimately doing well. (For starters, how about some things that legitimately went well about the recital piece...)


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Mel (Mélanie) Bonis - Sevillana, La cathédrale blessée
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Ok, I just reviewed videos of the recital today as well as of a casual performance of the same pieces for friends from a month ago, and realize I may have overreacted. From the videos, my son clearly played more dynamically and musically today than he did a month ago. He did play somewhat cleaner last month, but wasn't perfect either. I think perhaps at the time he and I both were just more easily impressed with his playing since the pieces were more new/unfamiliar, and therefore I was remembering the past performance with bias. In any case, hreichgott, I really appreciate your kind words. I will definitely continue to praise and cheer my child for what he is legitimately doing well.

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Glad to hear it and congratulations on his continued progress smile


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If one day your boy have a girl friend that you don't like, the best way to break them up is to suggest your boy to teach her piano:-)

Joking aside, many pianists/piano teachers don't teach their own child, for good reasons. When the relationship is too close, it is hard to be objective.

When you say you are frustrated because you are unable to help, ask yourself if you are actually frustrated because he didn't meet your expectation. If a few unclean staccatos can make such an emotional stress on you, life ahead, for both you and your boy, could be long and bumpy, just let it go.

You seem to be an honest and open person, trying to do the best. But remember, progress is never a straight line, it is always spiral, with up and downs. As a parent, you job is to provide the space and time for the organic growth.

Congratulations for yet another recital and hope you enjoyed the journey more than the result.

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1.5 hrs a day at 6 years old..... blows my mind.

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The Monkeys, in this case, it was not the unclean jumps in and of themselves that caused my stress but the fear of what those unclean jumps, an issue which only arose in the week before the recital, might mean (i.e. that my lack of qualification as practice helper has caused confusion/created stress for my child, which then manifested in the past month in various ways including this last). And while I felt helplessness and guilt, it was my son that felt the frustration. Relative to most 6 year olds, he's fairly dedicated to the piano. Thank you, however, for the reminder to continue examining my motivations. It is good advice for all us parents!

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Cardinal201,

You seem anxious about your skills as a practice helper and their impact (or lack thereof) to a degree that strikes me as unhealthy for you, and quite possibly unhealthy for your son as well.

Have you ever tried to just back off for a week? And I don't mean forget about supporting your son in his piano practice altogether. I mean remind him: now's your daily practice time. Listen from afar while you do the dishes (or something of that nature). If you hear him goofing off, let him do that for a while, and then remind him what he was working on, if you absolutely must wink. Make sure he knows you'll be nearby to answer questions if he has any; but when he asks you about something you don't know, just say "that's a great question. Why don't we write it down so you can ask your teacher at the next lesson?" Then pat him on the back for a job well done, and call it good.

What would be the worst that could happen, in this scenario? If indeed he isn't quite ready to practice independently, then ... well, he'll be goofing around a lot. Who knows what kind of awesome improvisations might come of it? And if none do, that'll be fine, too!
Practice sessions will be less efficient when you're not there every minute. But really, at the age of six, where's the harm in that? It's not like he needs to juggle piano with six other kinds of homework, and/or a full-time job, and/or a crying baby, and/or a carpet that needs urgent cleaning, right?

I am saying this not as a piano teacher nor as a parent, but as a clinical psychologist (by training if not currently by profession), and as a cub scout leader, and as a student currently undergoing teacher training. Most of all, though, I'm saying it as one who was forced to learn violin at the age of five, with a grandmother who had the best of intentions, but was looking over my shoulder almost constantly.

The moral of that little story is not that I was force-fed musical instruction as a child, and therefore I am now bitter and unable to muster a passion for music. In fact, the opposite is true: if I have been a life-long music lover, it is in no small part thanks to the influence of my grandmother. What I am saying, though, is that her constant hovering put me under pressure to excel at all times, which I could not. Nobody can. I'm sure my grandmother didn't consciously *want* to instil in me a strong fear of failure, but that is what she did (she wasn't the only one responsible, but that's too long a story to be told, here). In any case, being subjected to this kind of pressure at such a young age (while inevitably falling short of my own and other people's expectations now and then) did quite a number on my self-esteem and, more importantly, my willingness to take a risk once in a while. It took me two decades to learn that it's OK not to be perfect all the time.

I'm positive that I never was, and never will be as talented as your son appears to be. But the fact that he *is* that talented should be self-reinforcing. If he enjoys playing and is good at it, he doesn't *really* need his mother to sit next to him during practice and help him use every minute of practice as efficiently as possible. He'll practice because he likes to practice, and as time goes on, he'll figure out quicker ways to get where he's going on his own, or with pointers from his teacher who, unlike you, supposedly knows exactly how to guide him in the right direction.

I think that if every teacher here could be certain that every parent who brings a child to their studio will provide even half of the support you give your son, they'd all be ecstatic. But for your own good and that of your child, I say: consider dialling it down a bit!

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Originally Posted by Cardinal201
And while I felt helplessness and guilt, it was my son that felt the frustration.


I am delighted to see that your concern was not over the technical flaw itself, but the frustration of your boy.

What a child can do at 6 tells little about who he will become at later life. But the emotional wellness at the young age could have a life long impact.

Stress and frustration comes from the pressure of meeting expectations. They can not be resolved by technical advancement, because it will be always an imperfections, then the next, always a more advanced piece, then the next.

Stress and frustration can only be resolved by managing pressures. Before he can handle the pressure well by himself, as a parent, I will pay far more attention on finding out where the pressure came from, and fend it off.

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Cardinal201, Saranoya has said much better, and with more expertise, something that I have been thinking about how to suggest for quite a while now, but without being able to figure out the words for it.

Is this guilt coming from expectations that you think your son's teacher is imposing, or is it coming from within yourself? Your son's teacher, if she's good, should be giving you ideas about encouraging and supporting your son that leave both you and your son feeling good, not miserable and helpless.

You should not have to feel guilty that the teacher's other students practice more than your son. He's practicing an incredible amount for almost any usual piano student, let alone for a six-year-old in his second year of piano study.

You should not have to feel beholden to this teacher and feel incredibly lucky that your son is in her studio, when neither you nor your son wanted to switch to this teacher to start with, and were only coerced into it because the previous teacher refused to continue teaching your son because she thought she wasn't advanced enough to teach him.

I would wish for you a local community of healthy and happy piano parents and piano students, who could model for you reasonable and happy ways of fostering their children's musical progress. It is possible that none of the parents and students in your son's current teacher's studio may be right for modeling this.


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Originally Posted by The Monkeys
Stress and frustration can only be resolved by managing pressures. Before he can handle the pressure well by himself, as a parent, I will pay far more attention on finding out where the pressure came from, and fend it off.

And this applies not only to her son, but also to Cardinal201, who is feeling great pressure, and I hope will find ways to fend it off. It's like oxygen masks: help yourself, then you will be able to help your child.


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Originally Posted by The Monkeys
Stress and frustration comes from the pressure of meeting expectations. They can not be resolved by technical advancement, because it will be always an imperfections, then the next, always a more advanced piece, then the next.

I agree with this, and I want to add that age must be added to the parent's consideration.

There are plenty of child geniuses whose mental capacity far exceeds their physical development. In the case of piano, a lot of physical development issues will prevent a 6-year-old boy from playing any intermediate repertoire well: evenness of 16th notes, internalization of pulse, subdivision of beats (triplets vs. 16th notes), stretching for intervals larger than a 7th, sharp staccatos, etc.


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Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I hear you--my little guy and myself both need to give ourselves a break!

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Quote
But the fact that he *is* that talented should be self-reinforcing. If he enjoys playing and is good at it, he doesn't *really* need his mother to sit next to him during practice and help him use every minute of practice as efficiently as possible. He'll practice because he likes to practice, and as time goes on, he'll figure out quicker ways to get where he's going on his own, or with pointers from his teacher who, unlike you, supposedly knows exactly how to guide him in the right direction.


I have to say that I re-read this passage more than ten times and am totally agree with it.


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