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BruceD #2308799 07/30/14 02:42 AM
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Originally Posted by BruceD
Where do you get the idea that setting off the word "like" with commas is a sign of good writing and attention to grammar?

It's certainly not a good *example* of grammar. But I hear, in the overuse of the comma, a writer's ear attuned to, and slightly mocking, the way people tell these kinds of jokes. If you don't hear the craft in this particular case, I'm not going to convince you. smile

Similarly, when Faulkner writes "hit warn't none of mine nor hisn neither and besides hit aint had a decent bait of vittles since the corn give out in February", I hear a writer in control of his craft, choosing to work with the language as he sees fit.

-J

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Have to admit, I found the rambling nature of the OP pretty amusing, especially since I thought it was just going to be that old joke.

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Originally Posted by FarmGirl
Well Tempered Cleaver

That made my day..
I was rolling on the floor laughing..

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Story told by Peter Sellers that he claimed was true, this is obviously a few decades back. A small band were playing in a London hotel, club, whatever, I forget, a man walks up to the pianist and he asks,
"Do you do requests, piano-player-chappy?"
The pianist looks up, "Certainly sir, if we know it we will play it, what would you like to hear?"
So the posh customer says, "My Darling wife would love you to play, "That's what you are", says customer. The pianist thinks and frowns, "Hmm, "That's what you are".... I'm sorry sir, but I don't think I know it", says the pianist in all honesty.
The customer is aghast, "YOU DON'T KNOW IT? EVERYBODY knows it. It is one of the most popular songs in the world". The pianist is a little embarrassed, "Well, sir, I'm afraid I don't know it but one of the band might, plus we have a stack of sheet music out the back, I'll ask them in our break and look through the sheet music too and see if we can play it for you and your wife".
The man is little mollified, "Piano-player-chappys who don't know, "That's what you are"... disgraceful. Right, I'll check with you after your break".
The break duly arrives, the band shuffle off and about 15 mins later, back they come and start playing the usual lounge standards.
The customer goes over to the pianist again and at the end of the song says, "I say, you there, did you find the music to, "That's what you are?"
The pianist replies, "No sir, sorry, and none of the band know the song either", the customer is astounded, "What is the world coming to when people don't even know, "That's what you are? It's indefensible".
In an attempt to quieten the man the pianist says, "Look sir, if you know it so well, and it is so popular, why not just sing a little of it, to see if I can recognise the tune?" The man is not a good singer and doesn't want to, but in the end he relents.... "Ok then" he says, "it goes like this, he gently sings the word, "Unforgettable," then adds more firmly, "THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE...."
I have now found it on You Tube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuaN3K4AMmk

Last edited by slipperykeys; 07/30/14 10:39 AM.
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Originally Posted by slipperykeys
Story told by Peter Sellers that he claimed was true


Why not? Having played in a band for the last 30 years, I knew where this joke was going on the first line. It happens all the time, which incidentally has been used to request Crazy Love by Poco.

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Interesting interview, Sellers was one of the best.


Gary
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Originally Posted by FarmGirl
Growing up in Japan, I did not know the spelling of composers names and famous pieces of music.

For example, I used to write:
Shopan
J S Buck
Well Tempered Cleaver

My favorite one is when Japanese say 'Shoe-belt.' (Schubert)


Michael

"Genius is nothing more than an extraordinary capacity for patience."
Leonardo da Vinci
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The Well Tempered Cleaver reveals the shocking story of JS Bach's secret life as a serial murderer haunting the streets of Leipzig.


Gary
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J.S. Bach had twenty-three children and he practiced on the spinster in the attic!

Cheers!


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"Who are you?"
"I'm Haydn."
"Gee, if I had a face like yours, I'd be hidin' too!

Cheers!


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A pianist calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead. The pianist calls back 25 times more. Same message from receptionist. She asks why he keeps calling. He replies, "I just like hearing you say it."

Plowboy #2308969 07/30/14 02:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Plowboy
The Well Tempered Cleaver reveals the shocking story of JS Bach's secret life as a serial murderer haunting the streets of Leipzig.


Seems rather ill-tempered to me.

(Ba-dum bum ching)

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  • What did the accompanist ask the singer?
  • Do you want this too fast or too slow?

Damon #2308990 07/30/14 03:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Damon
Originally Posted by slipperykeys
Story told by Peter Sellers that he claimed was true


Why not? Having played in a band for the last 30 years, I knew where this joke was going on the first line.

That's really great. So you didn't have to read it all the way through! Brilliant.

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A postman gets bitten by a dog at a house where he is delivering letters. It's not a bad bite, but it hurts a little and the post man thinks the dog should not be out in the garden if he cannot be trusted to not bite strangers. The postman rings the customers doorbell. A bad tempered old man comes to the door, "What do you want?" he snaps at the postman.
The postman thinks to himself, "Oh, now I know why the dog is so badly behaved" He decides to complain anyway, "You're dog just bite me!" says the postman.
The old man looks apprehensive, "But it wasn't a bad bite, was it?" he asks.
"Well no", says the postman, "but I don't think you should let him out if he can't be trusted not to bite people".
"I let him out so he can't play the piano", replies the dogs owner.
"Play the piano, what are you on about?" asks the postman, amazed at such a ridiculous answer.
The old man says, "If the dog is in the house he wants to play Baroque music on the piano all day long and it is awful, he's a lousy pianist", explains the man, "Come in, I'll prove it!"
The postman follows the old man into an immaculate house, and through to the front room.
When he looks around he sees the room is dominated by a 2.9 metre Concert Bosendorfer Imperial in pristine condition with the lid up. "Fido!", calls the man and the dog rushes in, "Play the piano for the postman, now listen to this" he whispers as an aside. The dog gets on the piano stool and starts playing the most awful rendition of, "Jesu, Joy of mans desiring", the postman has ever heard, "Stop him, stop him, for the sake of humanity, stop him!" cries the postman. The old man tells the dog to get down and the dog slinks off. "That's why I keep him out in the garden all the time", says the old man, "His Bach is much worse than his bite".

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A Hollywood producer comes up with a brilliant idea for a film that he knows will rake in the cash: an action movie about the Three Bs.

He phones Charles Bronson, and he says, "I'd love the part of Brahms!"

He phones Chuck Norris, who really wants the part of Beethoven.

He rings up Arnold Schwartzenegger, who is thrilled with the concept and says:

"I'll be Bach."


Gary
Plowboy #2309013 07/30/14 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Plowboy


"I'll be Bach."

After all that abuse on poor old Johann Sebastian (unless, of course you mean PDQ), I think I'll go Bach to the Future - an era when I can summon my faithful automaton called J.S. (a.k.a. John Smith) to play the Goldberg on the quadruple-manual Harpsiorgiano, using its four pairs of arms.


If music be the food of love, play on!
Damon #2309018 07/30/14 04:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Damon

  • What did the accompanist ask the singer?
  • Do you want this too fast or too slow?


Now THAT'S a good one!


"If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis."

"If life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life'll be all like whaaaaaat?" - Phil Dunphy
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Originally Posted by slipperykeys
Originally Posted by Damon
Originally Posted by slipperykeys
Story told by Peter Sellers that he claimed was true


Why not? Having played in a band for the last 30 years, I knew where this joke was going on the first line.

That's really great. So you didn't have to read it all the way through! Brilliant.


The point was that there was not really any reason to doubt him.

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A pianist and an oboist are walking down the street and the oboist says, "Was that a piccolo I saw you with last night?"
The pianist replied, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife."

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