Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Adult Beginners Forum Overwhelmed and need desperate help

Hello. So I'll get right to the point of this thread. I'm currently on the brink of quitting piano. I started about 7 or so months ago and have been progressing very slowly. This is entirley my fault because I often only play maybe for half an hour each day, however there were gaps months ago where I didn't play at all, so it's very on and off.

I DO want to learn, and I recently started trying to really get into learning more. However, every morning I get up with the intention of learning and then one thing or another stops me where I think 'this is just too much to take in, what's the point?' and I end up feeling terrible.

I'm being completely overwhelmed by the amount of information there is to take in and the amount of resources there are to learn from, and even though that might seem like a good thing, I don't know where to start.

When I first got my keyboard I was really excited just to play songs. I use videos on youtube (those guitar hero like ones) to learn songs, and while I'm sure people here don't like that method of learning, I find it good for a beginner. Then I tried to start learning the theory by watching some youtube videos but eventually I felt like all the fun was being sucked out of piano so I sort of let it gather dust.

Now to where I am now. I've learned some basics of reading sheet music, things about the staff, ledger lines, both clefs, note names time signatures and I've finally memorized the damn keys. But there's so much more to learn I honestly don't know what I should try and learn next.

Basically, I need someone to give me a guide plan for things to work on, or even just one thing to practice or learn, something that I'm missing that would allow me to feel more confident on the piano, perhaps a really good website or youtube series that I can trust to take me through what I need to learn.

Thank you.

Hi Ryanhd. Welcome to the forums. You've come to the right place.

Half an hour a day should be enough. Of course more is better but you can't practice all day of course (at least I can't).

My advice is simple: get a teacher. He or she knows what you can handle and will start at a point where you feel comfortable but not too easy. Consider him/her as a guide on a journey. You have the experience, they guide..

If that's really not a possibility (for whatever reason such as financial reasons or wherever you live in the middle of the desert where there are no teachers) then at least try skype lessons or at the very least use a method such as Alfreds..

Hi Ryanhd, and welcome

You are indeed in the right place. I'm sure a lot of people will offer advice. Which will be of help to you depends on you of course.

It sound like you badly need some structure in your piano-journey. Something to guide you along, to motivate you, and for you to be able to 'measure your progress' on. How you go about getting that structure is a personal thing. I second wimpiano's advice - a teacher would be good. And if a 'live' teacher isn't an option, there a some options via the internet. Or, some people use method books, there is even a thread here on PW for some of those, Alfreds at least if memory serve.

There are several theads here about learning online, and I know there are one or more teachers here that teach via Skype.

Hang in there, there's always a way.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Adult-All-One-Course-Technique/dp/0882848186

Is this what you're referring to?

If I am not mistaken it's this one:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Alfreds-Bas...p;sr=1-1&keywords=alfred+adult+piano

It could well be that the one you linked is the better option.

Perhaps our fellow forum members can help you out on that one.

In my humble opinion it is a last resort though. Some people will disagree with me but having a teacher has so much benefit.

If you decide to go with the self teaching using a method, make sure that you stick with the method. Start from beginning, don't skip stuff. Having a solid basis will help you advance way faster/better in a later stage.

Good luck!!

Ryanhd, I know you were asking wimpiano, just wanted to add, that whatever method books you may choose to use... they in themselves may not offer much in the way of motivation, which seems to be your primary problem right now. Some of the threads here, like 'whichever thread is around the method you'll be using', and then there's the MYOD, 'Achievement of the week', 'Daily report' etc etc. They all serve the purpose of motivating and supporting.

You also didn't mention which kind of music you aim to be playing. Advice might be different depending on that.

Well, I like to vary what I play. However, I haven't yet tried any classical, it's mostly film/TV and video games scores, things like that.

Well, the journey is long, but a common denominator for success is enjoying the journey, because you will spend more time with the journey than you ever will playing a "completed project"

What has been your experience with other undertakings in your past?

Forrest

So I can see getting a teacher is a popular opinion. That leads me to the inevitable question of, what's the best place to find someone? I'm located in Dorset England. I've googled Dorset/UK piano teachers but there are many sites to choose from. Does anyone happen to know popular UK sites?

If you can get one by referral that would be the number one choice. Get one referred by either a (good) piano store or a (knowledgeable) friend. That, the offline option, seems to work better with personal things such as a teacher.
Second option would be to just find a couple and do trial lessons. Just get a trial lesson, sometimes those are free.

Mind you, I buy almost anything online, it's not that I'm 90 and afraid of online stuff. Personal things, people coming to your house, or you going to their house, that's where I prefer referrals..

Like you, I've just started learning piano. However, I have the benefit of being self taught on guitar and being able to profit from the mistakes I made learning that instrument.

From the sound of your posts you want to be able to play songs.... now!

Certainly that's possible through memorization and sheer dint of effort. However, that's going to lead to a lot of frustration as you try to play songs that are complicated and confusing without having built on a good foundation.

With guitar, I set out to learn to play Jimi Hendrix version of the Star Spangled Banner. I learned a lot on the way but not a lot was transferable.

Here's what I would suggest. Use the Alfred's book, as I am, but use it a methodical learning tool. Even if you only get through 2 pages a week, really learn the lesson in those 2 pages and don't worry about where you are going or how fast you are getting there. That's the journey.

In addition, pick a song you want to learn how play. Spend as much time as you want memorizing the notes, chords and fingering. Spend as much time as you want practicing that single song, or 2 or 3 like it. Might you pick up some bad habits or inefficient fingering techniques? Sure.

But stick with the Alfred's and eventually your two paths will converge and you'll be on the right track. Will that take 6 months, a year, two years? Depends on you. Maybe you lose interest and never progress. Its up to you.

Many will suggest a teacher. I'm sure you understand that if you go to a teacher you will do it their way. Their way may enable you to progress more efficiently, but you have to be willing to take the lessons, pay for them and follow them.

If your interest lies more in taking a less structured approach because you want to do it a different way, well that's up to you. I'm assuming you don't have a slot in a band or a career in music riding on your success.

Regardless, you have to find a way to make it fun for you. A lack of progress is no fun but neither is frustration.

Ryanhd: Here is my perspective from a beginner who has been at this for 17 months now.

First off, a teacher is the most critical thing missing from your routine; I know it has been said already, but I'll stress this one more time.

For me, in order to succeed you need several things going for you:

1) Structure. A teacher will help, the right lesson books will also help. There is SO much to learn; it needs to be taught and learned in small chunks.
2) Little victories. You need to succeed every week in some basic skill. This will help with motivation; success breeds success. Also, when you add up little victories over many months, you will be surprised how far you have come.
3) You need to enjoy the process itself and not worry about the ultimate destination. Enjoy the pieces you learn and master.
4) You can't be too picky on your initial music choices, especially when working with a teacher. Sure I wanted to learn a blues piece when I started; however I had to wait 10 months before the first one came up, since the piece required skills that I had to learn.
5) Dedication. You HAVE to commit to daily practice, at least 4-5 days a week. Taking a week or two off at a time when you are beginning can be fatal to your success.

Best of luck!

I found my piano teacher on this site. There were several in my area and after a couple of free lessons I settled with the one I am currently with.

Ryanhd, I'll tell you my personal strategy for managing these types of psychological challenges - of course it might not work for you. So here goes...

The problem for me is that I am really good at what I do in my profession - top of the heap, educated, experienced, recognized as leader, and on and on. Spent the last 30+ years getting here.

Then... I take up the piano. The expectation is that I will also succeed. But Wham!! discovered it is totally different - need to let go a little (lots), relax (RELAX? you gotta be kidding - I am type A)... so here is the thing. I look at myself in the mirror and have a conversation... "You are never gonna be any good, never gonna be able to play the WTC (big goal for me), etc." BUT today you will learn the A minor scales (damn, three of the little buggers)... after last week learning the C Major scale. Tomorrow, well, we will wait and see.

So, the bottom line... I know that if I do this, day by day I will get a little better. Give up!!?? Heck yes... but not today...

To provide some structure and guidance you could look into a syllabus for a 'roadmap' - the one I have my eye on is the ABRSM Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music...
http://us.abrsm.org/fileadmin/user_upload/syllabuses/pianoSyllabusComplete15.pdf

pspicer, that's a good one!

Yes, we're each good at something else, and when we take up piano, it's quite a shock to discover that we really suck at it and no amount of brain power will help us here. Only blood sweat and tears, years and years of it! That's what makes piano so much fun, oddly enough.

Do NOT give up ! I had lessons when I was 12yrs old - that was more than 60yrs back ! I have had a few pianos since, on and off, and it is still a job to make myself sit for a half hour. But getting to play an entire piece by memory is FANTASTIC !

I second this.

OK, I was a kid when I started learning piano, but the only song I was interested in learning was the theme from the movie 'Love Story' by Francis Lai (which was all the rage at the time....).

But - I had a teacher, who made all the difference. She played that song for me at the end of every lesson if I'd practised what she'd set me the previous week to her satisfaction, promising that she'd teach me to play it as soon as I'd acquired sufficient skills. What she actually taught me was a structured method of learning to read music, technical skills, ear training etc, based on one of the method series of beginner books, and then following the ABRSM syllabus. (I did all the Grade exams, one a year).

I learnt a lot of pieces along the way, progressively more difficult ones, week by week as my skills improved. By the time I'd acquired the arpeggio technique to play that song, I was already completely immersed in much better music by Bach, Mozart, Beethoven et al, and had lost interest in learning to play it.

A few months ago, I remembered that song, and decided to get the score to learn it - a few decades on from when I first got interested in it . I sat down at my piano - and sight-read through it easily.......

Hello Ryan,

I don't know how anyone can get very far trying to learn piano on their own, and I have never heard of a first-rate pianist that become excellent only by following internet tutorials.

To find a teacher, or at least a part-time coach, type into a google search "piano lessons" along with the name of your city and see what teachers show up. Chances are that if you are not in a major city then very few decent teachers will be manifested. So type into a search engine the local colleges near you - their music departments will surely have a piano faculty that you can contact for private lessons separate from the college itself.

Here you go: Find a good teacher, and stick with that for at least a year.

All great replies so far but you did hit the nail on the head. Learning piano is an avalanche of new information and it seems every skill is equally important but requires so much effort it just seems daunting. I have recently completed two years of learning piano but I had so many low points in the first year I can relate with your dilemma. One thing that helped me was simply being organised. I had a written schedule for each days practice session, do some scale work, do some sight reading, learn some more of the piece I would be working on, do some research, and so on. Having a "to do" list each day will give structure where there was none and your list can develope to be as simple or as complex as you wish so that it can even then become a monitoring tool. I have used a spreadsheet since early days and been able to amend it as my needs increased.

Another important issue I found was I needed to use youtube sparingly. While I believe research is of utmost importance and a skill in itself not often talked about, the exposure to child wonders playing perfect Fur Elise at 6 years old has a detrimental effect. As does watching others who have been playing for years play the piece you might be learning. While they serve as a guide, you have to remember as a beginner you cannot possibly match their skills and nor should you try. So you have to give yourself permission to sound bad and just tell yourself you will get better.

With piano you do have to take the long term view. Our expectations never seem to match the reality and indeed the daily practice sessions taken in isolation never seem to be that fruitful. So you do have to have a bit of faith they are working and review progress in much longer periods, (I do quite an in depth review at the end of the year). To this end I often think in terms on an apprenticeship where generally the first two years seem like you are going nowhere and quite mundane. It is only in the years after that things become clearer and you have some skill to tackle the job at hand.

Lastly I think it is important to be part of a piano community such as PW. Piano by nature is a lonely affair and support by like minded people (as you can tell by the replies so far) can be invaluable.

I'd love to tell you this goes away. If you're susceptible to this, it doesn't.

So I'm going to give a couple pointers:

* teacher (yada yada yada, it's been said). A good teacher helps, particularly with motivation. You must click.

* love the process. Free yourself from your expectations. Then do it the next day. You have to just suck it up. It's okay. Eventually Stockholm Syndrome sets in.

* finding a teacher. If you've no luck, then ABRSM is the main testing authority in the UK and I'm sure they'll be able to recommend teachers in your area. (US: not so big on the testing thing) On the one hand, having testing goals is one way for short-term motivation. It also enforces a certain amount of well-roundedness (that I lack). On the other, I've known folks to go through the curriculum and then drop piano after they finish their final grade. On the whole, I've a bias against testing. But I see some benefits and you might find teachers that way. If you find a teacher that way and the testing doesn't work for you, then as an adult, you can insist on a change in approach or ask for a referral.

Ryan, the Alfred method book you linked (Alfred's Adult All-in-One Book) is the one that has the ongoing thread here at the ABF. There are three books. Most people go through Books 1 and 2 and a few do Book 3. I self-taught from AAIO Books 1 and 2 and then got a teacher. I was diligent about practicing and enjoyed the process prior to getting a teacher, but I got to a point where a book just wasn't enough.

Feeling overwhelmed is not an unreasonable response to all the things that need to be learned in order to play the piano. However, there are things you can do to make it more manageable. One thing is a getting a teacher--let the teacher worry about all the stuff that needs to be learned, in what order, and when. Yes, you still think about the big picture (have some goals, some idea of what kind of music you ultimately want to play), but on a day to day basis, your teacher has mapped out for you what needs to be done. Another thing is coming to a place like this for encouragement from fellow travelers. Good luck and keep us posted!

It's someone, not something:

. . . . Those people are called "piano teachers".

From personal experience and shared experience:

. . . Regular practice is far more effective than occasional practice.

. Charles

Hi Ryan,

Plenty of good advice here. A structured program always helps. When I'm trying to form a new habit, I set a goal to do the tiniest thing possible to form that habit (e.g., I will just sit down at the piano and play for 5 minutes). This creates a snowball effect.

1) It sounds like you'd rather learn to play by ear rather than read music?
2) Would your ideal solution be a course that primarily teaches you tactics to learn by ear with a bit of theory mixed in so that it doesn't get so overwhelming / boring?

This CANNOT be stressed enough. I have long stopped seeking these types of videos as I can find no positive effect in watching them.

Now I will once in a while check out famous concert performers, as these folks are in a different stratosphere, and I enjoy hearing how it is "really done".

I felt the same way you feel now, about a month ago- as far as quitting practicing, it sometimes seems unrewarding? Too detailish …all that stuff.
It is a mental hurdle to learn songs, but there are many benefits on the mental and neuro side. Check the internet.
Also, a way to express yourself in a different way.
For myself, every new piece is a challenge and it falls together with practice.
I guess a mountain climber never really understands why he climbs.
And sometimes learning some parts of a song is “like that….”
I think I’ll just learn and “Do it” while I can.

BTW:
1. Mel bay has self instruction books on piano that were valuable in my learning.
2. Stick with a song until you play it well, and move on, one step at a time.
3. A teacher is likely invaluable if you can afford one.
But I wouldn’t let not having one keep me from learning piano music/playing.


Many words of encouragement and helpful people are found on this site, so browse it often …

The biggest single lesson I learned, and it came from my teacher, is that what we are doing is hard, and progress is slow. There's no fast track. Once I realised that this is true, and that it's true for everyone, I found the frustrations and sense of disillusionment faded completely, and I was able to concentrate on the next greatest lesson I learned, that of perseverance.

I can see, feel, and hear the progress made since this month last year. Sight-reading is improving, and I'm beginning to recognise chord patterns on the page and know where I need to put my hands and fingers. I'm getting a more instinctive (but not yet faultless) sense of fingering.

At the risk of being as repetitive as most others, if you can arrange for a good teacher, you'll never look back. You already know you need structure in your approach, and you already know there's more skills behind piano than just knowing which keys to press. There's also a whole load of 'background skills' that a good teacher can give you, providing layer upon layer on top of the primary skills, and a teacher will 'round out' your whole piano experience.

Like Earlofmar and BrianDX, I also caution against immersing yourself too much in video clips on YouTube and the like. In addition to their pertinent observations, it can deny you your own voice, playing as you are capable, even if only slowly and fitfully, instead of trying to emulate someone who's had years more practice than we have.

Only one thing is certain : that if you give up, you will come to regret it.

Ryan we have some things in common. I too utubed my favorite video game music and got pianist envy at how well the youngins could play those midi classics. So I started teaching myself how to play them with only online sources to draw from.

It's doubtful we progress very far without mastering the basics. I sort of imagined I'd try for a 50:50 split between learning the fun songs that inspired me and working on Frere Jacques type exercises for children who learned properly. Lately it's been more like 80:20.

Crucial to my progress were these things:

1. Learning to read music. This was really important, because it set me free to learn anything I wanted without limits or relying on silly method books.

2. Learning some popular music such as movie themes or pop themes. This really got me through my beginning years when the boring beginner repertoire just wasn't keeping my interest.

3. Keep looking for the right teacher, one that excites you and makes it FUN.

Hope this helps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. Having the off-season start well before February.

I learned this the HARD way. It left me in a state of paralysis as I could not decide whether I wanted to sight read or play by ear. Some (and I say some) of these gurus know that A) an actual instructor is not cheap and B) you won't be able to play all that well in "6 months or less". BUT they will make these bogus claims to fondle needs for instant gratification and thus to get at your wallet (by leaving a link to website under the clip). All beginners have to think long term. If great piano playing was easy, it simply wouldn't sound as good.

So, with prices for lessons three to six times what they were decades ago when more homes had pianos, I've budgeted the year out for a teacher. Gotta bite the bullet and keep at it.

I have had a teacher once a week for about 4 months. It has been great, my teacher guides me through a book adn we cover a few pages and a few chords for that week and it is my job to practise these before the next week. I think this breaks it down and makes it more manageable so that I don't get overwhelmed.

A few times I have skipped ahead in my book and when I play it in front of my teacher she points out mistakes I am making which I wasn't even aware I was doing. I think it is important to get a teacher as already, mine has pointed out bad mistakes and habits which I am getting into and stopped them in their tracks which makes moving forward a lot easier!

This has been one of the most enjoyable threads I've read thus far, I also feel overwhelmed especially after yesterdays practice time - nothing and I mean nothing I was doing seemed to work, come natural or sound even remotely like a good beginner..

But today is a new day, I'll have the house to myself for a few hours and plan on getting it on again!

Thank you all for a good read.

I've quit piano five times - once every decade of my life starting from the first time I quit in my teen years.

This time around I'm in my third year of lessons with a very good teacher, and I feel that it's going great, and doubt I'll ever quit again. I'm really getting somewhere this time.

What has made the difference for me? Having a good teacher.

My suggestions for you:

1) Dump the youtube learning-by-watching approach

2) Learn to read music. You can play by ear too as well as read music. Why limit yourself?

3) Get yourself a teacher. If it turns out you are not happy with the teacher find a different one.

4) Play piano every day. It is not a chore. In time it will pay off because you will start to feel natural at the piano by regularly playing. Just give it time.

5) Be patient and don't set expectations according to a time line

6) Theory is actually interesting, not boring. It will help you play music.

7) Having a teacher gives more benefit than just the lesson guidance. It forces you mentally to try to accomplish something each day so you will do well at the next lesson. In other words it motivates you.

8) If you have trouble with the money a teacher costs then have a look at where else you spend money and see what else could be cut out.

9) Enjoy the journey along the way rather than look for some goal at the end.

Good luck