Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Piano Teachers Forum How do you expect your adult students to address you?

When you are a child, you know you should address anybody who is older than you that is not a family member as Mr or Ms. I personally never addressed my public schoolteachers by their first name. Actually, I don't even know what their first names were. And the private piano teachers I had in fifth grade and sixth grade spoke Chinese, so I just addressed them as "Teacher".

When you attend college as a young adult, you know you should address your professors as Professor or Dr, even if the actual ranking is not a full professor but nevertheless the instructor has a doctorate in the field he/she is teaching.

So, what happens if you are a young adult and your piano teacher appears roughly your age and has no doctorate degree and does not speak Chinese? Should you address by first name or by last name following Ms/Mr?

I am much older than you... but my advice when addressing any teacher/other professional regardless of the age difference would be Mr./Mrs followed by the last name. If your teacher wants less formality, you will hear 'oh, just call me Robert'.

Formal until instructed otherwise.

I call my teacher by his first name and he calls me by my first name. He has a doctorate and I have a master's degree. I am probably twice his age. None of this is relevant to your situation. We also both wear shoes at lessons, which is also not relevant to your situation.

Is there a reason why you cannot ask your (prospective) teacher simple questions about expectations?

If you are not able to ask questions like this, how will you be able to communicate with your teacher about your study?

Compianist is Chinese and it trying to understand American rules of etiquette. I do the same when I am in a country with etiquette rules unfamiliar to me. In fact, I have a large book, by country, of the business etiquette/culture which I read anytime I am in a business situation where the country culture is unknown to me.

Asking these etiquette questions does not mean that he or I would be unable to ask direct questions during the lesson.

My adult students are much, much older than I am, so we are on first name basis.

In the South, there is "Ma'am" and "Sir."

If your teacher is roughly your age, then it's perfectly OK to ask them, "Is it alright if I call you [insert their first name]?" Younger people are much less formal than many older adults, so no need to assume formality.

OT but how strange yet practical is our culture
I have never needed to adress my teacher by either first or last name, because here we just say You or him/her (which is one word, so no need to even know the gender With old folks or when especially wanting to be formal we can replace the You with the plural of You (which is not the same word). The words equivalent to Mr and Mrs are so outdated in our language that you rarely see them anymore.

In the last 20 years or so we have almost dropped formal addressing altogether, even in professional life. It's just you and me. Works for me. But lately I do notice some influence from abroad...Especially when they are trying to sell you something they may adress you by your name and I find it a bit annoying really...Just doesn't fit.

I am twice my teachers age so we both use first names. He introduced himself using his first name at the first lesson. When I was taking my granddaughter to lessons with him, I would use Mr. In front of his name when she was present.

+1.

You can't make a mistake, that way.

Here in the UK it's quite custom, I think, to call teachers by a first name bases. At least in my lessons everyone just calls me "Nikolas" and that's it!

BTW, when I book air tickets I go by Dr. Nikolas Sideris, just for the kicks (considering my PhD MUST come in some use somehow). Luckily nobody ever needed a real doctor in those flights!

I'd need the setting or the individual to be very obviously formal before I'd consider *not* using first names.

"I'd need the setting or the individual to be very obviously formal before I'd consider *not* using first names."

And I would correct you, saying, "Thank you, Barbaram. You may call me Mr. Clef."

I went to college for a year with my piano instructor , were the same age and no each other by a first name basis.

A wise general rule.

I am a professor, not a music teacher. As a rule, we're a pretty informal bunch. But I regard an email from a student I don't even know that starts, "Hey (first name), how are you?" as a very bad sign. [I just got one of those, and that's why it's on my mind.]

The signals it sends are pretty much all bad no matter how you parse it. The student is displaying everything from complete social cluelessness to pushy, disrespectful arrogance.

When in doubt, use a generic title (Mr., Professor, Dr., whatever), and take it from there.

When I have taken lessons, I have been on first name basis with the music professor. We're colleagues and friends, and she taught my son. But one shouldn't simply presume that age is the deciding factor. When in doubt ...

Going off topic here, it's kind of easier in English as there is no grammatical difference and you can avoid the direct address and use "you" when referring to the other person. In Polish we have a polite you form so the problem crops up every second sentence which makes it awkward if you don't settle the matter right away.

I started teaching when I was very young, and it was easiest and most comfortable just to use my first name.

I'm still 100% comfortable with my first name. My younger students will automatically call me Mr. + either my last name of first (Mr. Gary).

Degree of formality is an individual thing.

For me this has always been settled amicably in advance through email. I first made contact with each of my three piano teachers through email contact.

***

My first contact to them: Dear Mr./Ms. X... I'm an adult learner. Would you please teach me? Signed, Clark Kent

Their responses: Dear Clark... Sure, c'mon over on Tuesday. Signed, Bill or Mary

My reply: Dear Bill or Mary... See you then. Signed, Clark

***

Then, with those preliminaries out of the way, it's all first names from the beginning of the first lesson..

All my private students, from 5yr olds to grandparents, call me Ben and I'm completely fine with it. Most of the kids I teach at high school as a peripatetic call me "Sir" or "Mr. Crosland", and I must admit I get a bit irritated when they use my first name, although I never make a thing about it.

Your approach signals maturity.