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#430822 - 01/25/08 10:01 PM Re: Need ways to pursuade parents to buy a new piano.
Betty Patnude Offline
4000 Post Club Member

Registered: 06/11/07
Posts: 4896
Loc: Puyallup, Washington
Sean,

I think you need another opportunity to notice what and how you are explaining your situation to us. The message I am getting is you make big demands, you show your temper by taking it out on your Mom and Dad, and damaging the bathroom, and you begrudgingly do your chores around the house.

When you are a happy and contributing member of your household, and hold everyone there in respect and love, you might improve the vibes between you and your parents and be able to communicate in a more effective way.

The piano and lessons are part of your dissatisfaction, and I can certainly understand that. But, you cannot demand from your parents that they meet this need. You can request. Hopefully, you would be deserving of consideration, but if they don't have the means, or choose not to consider it, that's it.

Giving them sass and being abusive to your home is just an absolutely wrong direction for you to take. Why does that seem reasonable for you to do?

Take the steps to be responsible and eventually earn your own piano. Don't be insensitive and rude to your parents, no one deserves verbal or physical abuse or damage to their home.

Many of us had inadequate instruments growing up, and some of us had no instruments at all for long periods of time. You can bet it was upsetting, it was also very real. I know I cried many times, but at no time did I shout, complain, demand, blame anyone. It was a fact of life.

For the universe to provide what we need, I believe we have to be deserving of it. We need to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. We have to care about the others in our lives as much as we care about ourselves.

I have 5 adult children, 10 grandchildren, and 2 greatgrandchildren - I would want for each of them to have hope, have faith, behave reasonably, work earnestly, and find their way in life. Happiness comes from within.

Start at home and build a strong foundation as a family member and contributor. Life is more about giving than it is getting.

I believe your musicianship and instrument will come to you because you invited it into your life in a respectful and responsible way.

Betty Patnude

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#430823 - 01/26/08 12:17 AM Re: Need ways to pursuade parents to buy a new piano.
classik51 Offline
Full Member

Registered: 12/24/07
Posts: 77
Loc: Canada
Poor Sean.

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#430824 - 01/26/08 01:24 AM Re: Need ways to pursuade parents to buy a new piano.
oldbutnewbie Offline
Full Member

Registered: 01/12/08
Posts: 21
Loc: calgary alberta
When I was a child my parents couldn't afford a piano.

I'm now 47 and learning to play, and buying my first piano.

Life is what you make it, not what you are given.

Volunteer, help others, do it for free.
give of yourself. You might not get a piano, but you will be happier.
_________________________
"If you find yourself going through hell... keep going" WC

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#430825 - 01/27/08 01:49 AM Re: Need ways to pursuade parents to buy a new piano.
AZNpiano Offline
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/07/07
Posts: 5422
Loc: Orange County, CA
What disturbs me the most so far is not the tagging on the mirror--it's the fact Sean can't find a place to practice other than at his school! He's probably not looking hard enough.

As a piano teacher, if one of my students begs me to practice on my grand, I'd say "Go for it!" Just this afternoon I let one of my students practice on my grand for an hour. I also let my students practice on my piano right before competitions. It is very important to practice on a quality instrument.

I don't think Sean is right in calling his parents "donkey," but I can sure commiserate with him--several of my students' parents are misers.
_________________________
Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member

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#430826 - 01/27/08 08:17 PM Re: Need ways to pursuade parents to buy a new piano.
Tony V Offline
Full Member

Registered: 07/14/07
Posts: 354
I don't agree with some of the things you done, but I can sort of tell what you are going through.

I know a kid with super penny-pinching parents. He currently needs a laptop or personal computer for school, but his parents won't buy him one. You can buy any cheap computer for $200-300, but they won't even do that. I decided to give him my old Gateway PC, which is only good for typing up reports, but that's just what he needs anyway.

What bothers me is that his family recently inheritted a huge sum of money from a relatives that passed away, but won't buy their son the cheapest of computers that he NEEDS for school. I'm not sure many of you are aware of this, but it is an absolute necessity to have a computer to get through high school nowadays. In college, you won't survive without a computer or laptop.

He is a top-notch student at school too. His parents should be nurturing him with stuff he needs to further his education, but instead, they blow money on thousand dollar digital cameras and other luxuries.

This kid has always had it rough. When he wanted a Playstation 2, his parents bought him a used Playstation 1. When he wanted video games, I donated him some of mines that I don't play anymore. His parents always bought him cheap bargain rack games that he didn't even want. Those were games nobody would have wanted, actually, even it they were free.

A lot of asian parents are this way. I'm not sure what your situation is though. I would think there is more to the story if you claim to do chores for your parents and are able to play decently (I've seen your videos). Is there another factor that you are leaving out? Maybe your piano enthusiasm is causing a slip in your grades?

If the situation is really hopeless, then you'll just have to wait it out until college. Under the conditions you are facing now, you'll LOVE it after high school when you go to college... that is if your parents let you move out, lol.

If you go to a university, you'll be in heaven with the music department and the grand pianos they offer in the practice rooms.

Keep your chin up. You play very well already and should continue practicing on your digital. There is plenty of time for a piano later. Many keyboardists out there conform to a real piano in less than a year.

PS
I had to spend lots of energy and time to sincerely persuade my parents into letting me buy my current digital piano ($850, $950 with accessories,) out of my own pocket. What was frustrating was that my dad really persisted in telling me that a 61-key unweighted keyboard was the same as a real piano. After I proved him wrong, he kept telling me that real pianos are for professionals only and that I should stick to the keyboard... I'm glad that is all over now. \:\)

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#430827 - 01/27/08 09:30 PM Re: Need ways to pursuade parents to buy a new piano.
slerk Offline
Full Member

Registered: 12/08/07
Posts: 320
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
 Quote:
Originally posted by Tuan Vo:
I don't agree with some of the things you done, but I can sort of tell what you are going through.

I know a kid with super penny-pinching parents. He currently needs a laptop or personal computer for school, but his parents won't buy him one. You can buy any cheap computer for $200-300, but they won't even do that. I decided to give him my old Gateway PC, which is only good for typing up reports, but that's just what he needs anyway.

What bothers me is that his family recently inheritted a huge sum of money from a relatives that passed away, but won't buy their son the cheapest of computers that he NEEDS for school. I'm not sure many of you are aware of this, but it is an absolute necessity to have a computer to get through high school nowadays. In college, you won't survive without a computer or laptop.

He is a top-notch student at school too. His parents should be nurturing him with stuff he needs to further his education, but instead, they blow money on thousand dollar digital cameras and other luxuries.

This kid has always had it rough. When he wanted a Playstation 2, his parents bought him a used Playstation 1. When he wanted video games, I donated him some of mines that I don't play anymore. His parents always bought him cheap bargain rack games that he didn't even want. Those were games nobody would have wanted, actually, even it they were free.

A lot of asian parents are this way. I'm not sure what your situation is though. I would think there is more to the story if you claim to do chores for your parents and are able to play decently (I've seen your videos). Is there another factor that you are leaving out? Maybe your piano enthusiasm is causing a slip in your grades?

If the situation is really hopeless, then you'll just have to wait it out until college. Under the conditions you are facing now, you'll LOVE it after high school when you go to college... that is if your parents let you move out, lol.

If you go to a university, you'll be in heaven with the music department and the grand pianos they offer in the practice rooms.

Keep your chin up. You play very well already and should continue practicing on your digital. There is plenty of time for a piano later. Many keyboardists out there conform to a real piano in less than a year.

PS
I had to spend lots of energy and time to sincerely persuade my parents into letting me buy my current digital piano ($850, $950 with accessories,) out of my own pocket. What was frustrating was that my dad really persisted in telling me that a 61-key unweighted keyboard was the same as a real piano. After I proved him wrong, he kept telling me that real pianos are for professionals only and that I should stick to the keyboard... I'm glad that is all over now. \:\) [/b]
Thanks for the advice.

Sorry for the lack of posting, I was away for the weekend, camping- because I'm a Life scout in the BSA, showing another part of commitment.

As for grades, no, I'm in Advanced Placement in 8th grade, so I do very well, if I do say so myself.

I will try to talk with them... yet again. My piano again, has been moved into a trash room that's not even insulated.

It seems they don't prioritize right.

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#430828 - 01/27/08 09:50 PM Re: Need ways to pursuade parents to buy a new piano.
epf Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 11/13/07
Posts: 658
Loc: Central Texas
Sean,

I'm a parent (two grown "children" and four grandchildren). I can assure you that if you were to treat me as you claim you treat your parents it's highly unlikely you would ever be given a piano. As with other posters, I do not presume to know your situation or your parents financial resources. What I do know is that you are not in a position to demand anything from them. They may choose to purchase a piano or not -- and that is within their rights as parents.

It's clear that you have a love for music and for the piano in particular. What is equally clear is that you have a serious attitude problem. Being a Boy Scout is wonderful and achieving the rank of Life is a good accomplishment -- one that you can use throughout your Life. The fact that you are in an AP program is equally commendable.

However, life doesn't owe you anything. If your parents won't (or can't buy you a piano) start saving for one. When my granddaughter was your age she wanted a guitar -- and saved her allowance for several months, eventually her father decided she had shown enough determination that he bought a guitar, he paid 3/4 of the price and she paid the rest. She's 16 now and doesn't play at all -- which was kind of what he had expected all along.

A piano costs more than a guitar -- at least, one that is worthwhile does. Consider that it may be your attitude that is keeping your parents from any desire to buy a piano.

Sometimes we actually use behaviors that are designed to prevent the very things we want.

You've been on this forum a while, and you continue to show the same demanding attitude with your parents throughout. I can assure you that if you had treated my house as you did yours, any money you saved might have been lost through bringing in a housekeeper to clean up the mess you created.

Now, I'm not in your shoes, I'm not in your parent's shoes, but I am a parent and I do deal with young people on a fairly regular basis. If I were in your position I would seriously consider an attitude adjustment as the first step towards getting a piano. It's not about their priorities, it about your behavior.

Ed
_________________________
"...a man ... should engage himself with the causes of the harmonious combination of sounds, and with the composition of music." Anatolius of Alexandria

YouTube Channel

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#430829 - 01/28/08 07:29 AM Re: Need ways to pursuade parents to buy a new piano.
Poor Dave Offline
Full Member

Registered: 01/07/08
Posts: 28
1 / Find a job
2 / Buy a second hand piano and the trash in your trash room will make room for it after you clean up the mess anyway I'd say.

I was a kid when I bought mine and I had to work for it, if you wanted it desperately enough you'll find a way to accomplish it. If not, then maybe you are just fighting a civil war. Nothing ever works out in a civil war.
_________________________
I have a Kawai RX-5G... it sounds like a coffee maker.

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#430830 - 01/28/08 09:36 AM Re: Need ways to pursuade parents to buy a new piano.
cruiser Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 02/19/07
Posts: 1171
Loc: Cornwall, England
I make no apology for my post on page 2 of this thread - in spite of the castigation I received from one person in particular - and least of all to the op. I would say that subsequent evidence has proven my harsh words to be more than justified.

It's time this thread was locked down imo, as should all further threads started by the op on this particular topic.

btw Sean, please do something about the size of the disgraceful photos on page 2, will you?

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#430831 - 01/29/08 04:06 AM Re: Need ways to pursuade parents to buy a new piano.
AZNpiano Offline
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/07/07
Posts: 5422
Loc: Orange County, CA
Sean:

One thing you might consider is to "barter" with a local piano dealer.

Several years ago when I was visiting relatives in another country, I had to practice for an upcoming piano competition. There are no grand pianos in any of my relatives' homes. I went to the local Yamaha studio, which had a baby grand, but they wanted to charge me money to practice!

Then I went to the local Boston piano dealer and spoke to the owner. I showed her what I could do with the piano. She was very gracious and allowed me to practice on those beautiful, new grands for free!! I guess she wanted live music in the store to attract customers, and I got several good instruments on which to practice! Then this other guy came into the store and wanted to play the orchestra reduction part of the concerto I was working on. I had a blast! It was a win-win situation.

So, I believe if you look hard enough, you'll find a place to practice.
_________________________
Private Piano Teacher and MTAC Member

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