Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Pianist Corner Would you prefer to be engaged to .. a pianist?

Ohhh... I want to marry a cook. Doesn't even have to be great. Can't cook worth my life, I just bake. Bonus if they play the violin. I always wish I learned the violin instead of the piano.

Ah, yes! Mrs. Robinson!

And me!


(But Mr ARP had the foresight to snap me up at the age of 23!)

Ah! Love is in the air! I remember when I was 18, it feels pretty long ago though I'm only 21 now. Things changed for me. When I was 18 i thought just like you. I guess you just have to meet the right kind of girl. I know I did, she will probably break my heart big time to, ha.

How much did that cost? I live in an apartment so I'm always conscious of my neighbours... Plus my mute pedal refuses to work anymore.

Oh man, I suppose this matter would come up sooner or later.

For the record, the last time I fell in love, it was with a soprano. Before that, a pianist. Both never reached the point of engagement, though. I've been through that (with a non-musician) much earlier.

I often wonder who really said "both the joys and woes of love have been greatly exaggerated." It's so true!

I could only speak for myself, but nowadays, I am far too in love with my own solitude to even consider having a spouse. Generally, company makes me very cranky. As long as one doesn't confuse loneliness and solitude, it's all good (as far as I'm concerned).


The Solitary

My heart has grown rich with the passing of years,
I have less need now than when I was young
To share myself with every comer
Or shape my thoughts into words with my tongue.

It is one to me that they come or go
If I have myself and the drive of my will,
And strength to climb on a summer night
And watch the stars swarm over the hill.

Let them think I love them more than I do,
Let them think I care, though I go alone;
If it lifts their pride, what is it to me
Who am self-complete as a flower or a stone.

-- Sara Teasdale

Not so sure I see a point in choosing some sort of solitary existence. Wagner had a brilliant wife (Cosima), and might not have had the strength to keep composing without her. Beethoven tried to get & keep women, or a certain woman, but wasn't very good at it. He didn't choose his loneliness in any very meaningful sense, although I suppose he was able to come to terms with it. Mozart had a wife and children. And how many children did Bach have? Dozens? Liszt tried very hard to get married with Carolyn. His youthful adventures with Marie yielded Cosima, who was to become so important to Wagner.

There is a Seinfeld episode, called "The Soul Mate", where Elaine finds a "soul mate": they are united by annoyance at couples who think that having children is necessary for being able to live a fulfilling life. There is this scene: Elaine and George are having a discussion at the coffee house. Jerry, who was at the (public) phone with his new girlfriend, Pam, comes back to the table. Earlier in the episode, Jerry had been having doubts about his feelings towards this new girlfriend of his. There's a discussion between Jerry and Elaine. Jerry begins.

"That Pam, I am gaga over her!"

"Gaga over her? When did that happen?"

"Yesterday, sixish."

"Hah, well, perhaps we should double sometime. I'm pretty gaga myself."

"But you just met the guy!"

"Yeah, but we have a common goal..."

"A barren sterile existence that ends when you die?"

Elaine squirms and smiles in satisfaction and various other pleasant emotions, and replies: "Yeah."

Can I exchange the pianist for Billy Gates, Warren Buffet, Luis Dominguin or Fabio...???

I feel I'm finding this to be the case, but please tell me I'm not getting jaded before my time. I enjoy partying with my mates at the London clubs, but I really do love my solitude at home. There's nothing like it, especially when I'm working on a project for work with one of the CDs from my extensive collection of church music playing in the background. Such inspiration.

As for Colin, I wish this marvelously intelligent and sensitive young lad the best, but I fear he may be setting his sights unrealistically. When looking for a (soul) mate (here using the term outside of its British meaning) I sometimes think we subconsciously only want a carbon copy of ourselves, male or female, whichever applies.

I don't think it works out that way in the "real world", whatever that may mean.

Not totally impossible. There are more than a few "teacher couples" in my local area, and some of them are rather well-off and/or famous. One couple in particular arranged the rooms in their house so that they can teach simultaneously without affecting each other.

As for myself, I plead the Fifth.

I hope none of you found me non-serious in this very serious matter. I just could not resist (since I'm a woman in my 40's) telling you that I find some of you to be very charming (and interesting and sensitive of course) young men.

I guess we all start out with a set of golden dreams, and usually they get broken one after the other. You might meet your soul mate (what is the British meaning ??), just to find that it's impossible for other reasons, or you might fall completely for someone who does not care for you at all. Life sometimes makes unexpected turns and leaves you in places you never wanted to be.

Being able to enjoy solitude makes life meaningful even if you've had some bad luck. And you probably first have to endure your company yourself before you can expect somebody else to.


Back to Bassios question, being engaged to a pianist would probably bring mixed feelings

a) You'd be extremely proud and feel like the chosen one.

b) You realize that the more success he will have the less you will see him, so what to wish for ??

Ragnhild

I think I much prefer the sympatico relationship with my wife of 28 years (soprano that I met in undergrad) to the non-relationship evidenced by my parents that had (other than children) nothing in common. Common interests and common goals has proven to be a great way to be. Musicians marrying musicians is certainly a nice starting point. It's wonderful to still have this after the kiddos are grown, rather than staring across the living room at someone that seemingly you have minimal rapport with. BUT....I'm a little jaded, she still sings Strauss and I still serenade with Chopin.

I tend to have mixed feelings about the subject. I understand how music can enrich the lives of a couple (for example, the joy of playing a duet together). I look at a partner overall and not judge by certain criteria...

well...if you can afford to have 2 pianos in the house, there's nothing wrong with marrying someone who plays it too.

I admit though I probably am very ignorant about it since many of you have gone through alot and after all I am still 20.

hotkeys: what you just said pretty much applies to me to.

You don't need two pianos, only four hands. That is called a duet. Perfect for me and my sweetie of 30+ years, and me.

Much closer that way as well. But she really does like to take up more than her half of the piano bench. ;-)

Of course I would like to be engaged to a pianist--pianists are harmless, because . . . they spend their time playing the piano.

they only get dangerous when they post on the Piano Forum.

"He tried to make bold sweeping statements and feel outrage at the absurdities of life, but one could tell his heart really wasn't in it."

Bold sweeping statements... outrage... absurdities...

Is someone conveniently writing my material, because my heart is having a problem getting "into" it?

I love to read the pre-21 posts on this board, but it's all really past history for me. They are so idealistic, but somehow it doesn't relate as it should. What has happened to me? I feel as if I'm in this weird middle space.

The confident posts of some of our more mature members - Antonius, tomassino, BruceD, whippen boy, keyboardklutz, Janus, BDB, AndrewG, btb, Ted2- all have valuable things to contribute. I do relish it all, and apologize if I get a bit hotheaded at times. I'm just trying to work through things... ya know, it can be really difficult.

But sorry, no excuses. I do think it should be taken into consideration that this board is a learning experience for all of us.

Well said! I don't think anyone stops learning. IMHO, no one should stop learning. And no need to apologize -- to anyone. For anything. I was surprised when I read this. And also, even old foggies like me can get hotheaded too!

And I think I understand what you mean when you write about being in a weird middle space. I can recall the past, um, experiences of my heart quite vividly (I'm sometimes afraid to read my own dairy) -- yet it's always with a certain sense of "that happened to someone else", or even as if it were a novel. Certainly it's not quite vivid enough to make me want more of the same!