Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Pianist Corner There is this girl at my school...

who seems to have some issues with me.

A few years back in the 7th grade I performed a Chopoin Nocturne for the school. I recieved a standing ovation and the next day she approached me and said, "You aren't that good, I know people who are better than you." I replied saying, "Yes, I'm sure there are many who are better than me."

This girl is also a pianist and is extremely competitive in everything she does. She has 4.0 GPA and often panics if her grade drops even below a 95%

This year is my Junior year in High School and I hadn't talked to her in a long time. I was speaking to my friend who was a good violinist and she again approached me with the same attitude. I had thought that she would have grown past that stage but apparently she still felt the need to insult me.

My cousin thinks it's because it seems like I'm showing off considering that I am usually the pianist in the school orchestra when a piece with a piano part is assigned.

However, I rarely talk about piano to anybody other than my musical friends with whom we often discuss music anyway. My violinist friend thinks she is jealous of me. I am not sure why. Any ideas?

EDIT: Whoah 666 posts.. bad luck!

She may be in love with you. You never know????????

I hope not.. >.<

Not much you can do about people like that. Somebody said something like "you're not that good" to me once. I simply responded with something like "Well, by saying that you're either trying to help me or hurt me, so if it's the former, then thanks but I'm already painfully aware of my own shortcomings and don't really need them highlighted by strangers; if it's the latter, then please don't ever talk to me again."

They didn't.

If someone says that it is always because they are already on the defensive (or they think they might have something to teach you, but I have never heard of that). Clearly, even if you are not sure of it, she thinks you are a better pianist than her.

Compliment her when she plays, give her constructive and POSITIVE criticism if any (probably not at first). Maybe see if you could play some duets with her. I suggest Poulenc.

Or else just let that kind of childishness roll off your back, it's nothing to you, you know how good you are!

Jealousy.


And nothing else.

It's not jealousy, and it's not a crush. It's terrible, terrible insecurity. This disease will eat away at everything in her life unless she can overcome it.

It's unlikely, but maybe there would be an opportunity to get her on your side. She would be receptive if you could somehow make her feel good about herself. I like the duet idea. If she could participate in your success somehow, you'd have one less enemy and one more friend, and you might even help her with her problem.

Good reply.

The only way you'll feel better is to find some way to humiliate her or insult her. Trust me, don't let her get the best of you!

(I'm not kidding, but I do apologize.)

I'd try to eliminate judgmental people like her from your life, just surround yourself with positive people. I've had similiar comments given to me by so called friends, and after putting up with them for years I finally realized I don't need their friendship, in fact I'd be happier without it. I am much happier since eliminating these influences from my life.
Next time she talks to you just say you don't have time for this nor care to hear what she has to say, or say what Kreisler said (that was great).

I suppose you would also kick an animal injured by an automobile on the side of the road as you walked by?

Ha, without the smiley face your quote of me seems colder.

But seriously, I'd recommend to the poster to just avoid the girl in general. It's good to avoid negative people, don't interact with them - they only bring you down too.

Thanks for the replies guys. I have tried to be kind to her and compliment her playing. Unfortunately that did nothing as a week later she was still bitter towards me. I have decided just to avoid her as much as possible and ignore any such comments in the future.

I agree that it is probably insecurity. It seems unusual that a girl with many friends and exceptional grades would be so insecure but I suppose that there is something beneath that she feels insecure about. Perhaps that is why she feels the need to get good grades and that is probably why she is so competitive. She needs the feeling of superiority and lives off of it.

It's actually kind of... sad.

It is insecurity, and it seems to be what's driving her to get such a high GPA as well as attack you.

When I was in medical school they told us the suicide rate of docs who graduated in the top ten percent of the class was three times as high as the rest of the physician population. I think they were trying to tell us to slack off a bit, although it probably didn't have that much of an effect.

I'd take her remark as a compliment (although it wasn't intended that way), treat her politely but with reservation whenever I met her, and hope that our paths would cross only seldom in the future.

She wants you.

GET THE DIGITS. NOW.

I'll defer to Brendan's much greater experience in having women throw themselves at his feet.

She realizes that you are better than her in this one area so she's trying to shake your confidence. If she does that then in her eyes she's the best. It all comes down to an immense sense of insecurity on her part.

I would have responded," Yep, there are plenty people better than me, and just as many people better than you. There will ALWAYS be someone better - get use to it."

Or "Yes there are many people better than me... Sorry, you're not one of them !"

From Jeff's impression, it doesn't seem like she's attractive but a number is a number. i second the digits.

Oh, with the situation, don't be overly concerned about it. Once those kinds of people get into college, they will meet some of their matches.

You might point out that like most things, it is not a competition.