Just a few words on the Pianoteq demo because I'm trying it myself at the moment and I'm loving it!
The disabled notes are very high and low black notes so I rarely miss them but I'm a complete beginner, I suppose a more advanced player might use them more frequently.
There are no samples used in Pianoteq, it's entirely modelled (the key noise may be sampled, not sure about that) and I read somewhere that it's not based on any make or model. The demo comes with a whole range of presets ranging from bright to dark and there are more users setting available for download here http://www.forum-pianoteq.com/uploads.php
If that isn't enough try tweaking the settings yourself, it's actually pretty easy once you start playing. Try tweaking the Eq, maybe start by boosting the lower mids, be subtle or it might get a bit nasal! Also try make the hammers a little softer.
You might try increasing character and unison width if you feel the sound is a little sterile. Again be subtle or you'll end up sounding like a battered bar-room upright lol!
Hope that helps!