Piano World Home Page Forums Restricted and Archives The Coffee Room I think we're owed an apology

CSG!
You have a site of your own?
You don't say?

You're welcome. And thanks for reading it- with a site 80 times bigger than anything else on the internet, it must be hard to get through all of the fan mail.

I remian astonished that everyone is saying goodbye....Frank, this is not ripe or fair.

jf

I apologized for my part in the nastiness and incivility in another thread.

I'll repeat that apology here.

As I said there, the person to whom the apology is owed, really, is Frank. I and others abused his hospitality by refusing to follow his house rules.

Here's why my apology is not directed to Matt:

"Congratulations on being a first-class jerk."

Even Matt has been unable to rise above the effluent.

The fact that my nastiness was typically reactive doesn't excuse it. It became Lord of the Flies around here ... the group dynamic deteriorated, and we didn't rise above the falling standards. Personally, I was guilty of conforming to what was happening, as opposed to what Frank said should be happening.

I'm not going to comment on whether others should apologize too, or what could be said about their unwillingness to do so. It would just start us down the wrong path again.

Human nature being what it is, the CR did pretty well as a non-moderated group. I've seen a lot worse, so I don't think any apologies are necessary. Frank's vision for PW does not align well with this type of forum; one with unrestricted access. I think in the minds of most here, the CR was working. Taking a step back and looking from Frank's perspective, maybe it wasn't.

Posted by ny1911:
I'd agree with this and add that insofar as any of us "identify" so tenaciously with what's said here, it's more often than not a *sign* that we need to stop taking it all so seriously. So for instance, even in my most rancorous exchanges with Larry, as soon as I read what he said, I would simply burst out laughing. Not that THAT would have any effect in changing our minds about those issues but the point being that ideally we should "evolve" to the point where we don't identify ourselves by our thoughts. We're so much more than that.

I apologize too. I know I've played a not insignificant role in all of this. When I first ventured into the CR, I was intrigued by and drawn into the discussions, but flabbergasted by what seemed to be the one-sidedness of all talk political. I rallied to try to drum up support for the liberal cause. In doing that, I became woefully aware of the lack of civility, which was much more disturbing to me than the lack of political balance. I then made it a mission to bring that issue to the forefront. Little did I know or plan, that in the process, I would be branded as one of the trouble makers and gather a cadre of detractors along the way. Such was never my intent.

I believe that my greatest offense (aside from being liberal ) has been in making sweeping generalizations about groups of people whose beliefs I don't share. When it was drawn to my attention by Dwain, I made an effort to tone down my posts. I came to understand how such comments can hurt (ironically, as I've recently tried to explain in the lawyer thread). This is my first foray into internet forums, and it took me awhile to get somewhat up to speed on group internet dynamics. I think I'm much more savvy in that regard now than I was two years ago, and I am committed to continuing to check my interactions here when called to do so.

I don't believe I have ever been vulgar or personally insulted anyone here, except in defense of repeated attacks lodged at me. I realize that even this is not excusable. But, IMO it really takes a saint to let it all roll off. A saint I ain't, although I will work at it until the die I day.

I have a lot baggage here and will unfortunately, aways be somewhat of a pariah in the eyes of some here. But I have never wished anyone here ill will, certainly not the forum, and I harbor a great deal of affection for many of you. I just wish that those of you whom I've offended in any way would realize this.

I really wish we could continue. I can't believe I am the only one who saw progress on the horizon.

Jack, I've always thought highly of you and although we often disagree, I can't believe you would claim this is somehow unfair.

Frank owns PianoWorld just as I own my business and I assume you own your practice. Frank can, as an owner, decide to do anything he wants regarding these forums. As its been said many times, this is his house and we are the guests.

I had a customer once that spent almost $100k per year with me that I "fired" because he treated my employees disrespectfully and it was affecting my ability to provide value for my other clients. I've never regretted that decision. If Frank believes that by tearing down the CR the balance of the forums will become a better place, who are we to argue. Just go find someplace else.

I wish you and yours all the happiness life has to offer.

I'm in a hurry, but I'll just say this to MattG:

If you think you're going to disappear that easily, think again, TheoryBoy! I don't let cool people drift off without a fight.

heck, I saw worse in the MS Zone Backgammon rooms.

A LOT worse.

Yeah.

Whenever I tell people about "my forum", they are always AMAZED that we didn't get a moderator until now.

Granted I didn't read every thread everyday, I always thought that we were a pretty decent bunch, with only this past year as being rough and rowdy.

And I really thought that these last few months things were getting better...

So you advocate meaningless words just to smooth things over?

Not at all.

I have differences with lots of people here abouts, nothing has ever been personal on my part. I like everyone. I wish everyone well.

None of these arguments around here has ever been personal with me.

If I've offended someone, I'm sorry that they were hurt. I genuinely like everyone here.

i like what MattG said. while i did enjoy some intelligent or harmless discussions of some subjects here, i did see more than enough nasty, ugly or extreme comments from some posters, which makes me careless about seeing this CR go. so be it...

Let me go on record here in these final hours of the PW CR as stating I definitely do not like everyone here.

In fact I would go well out of my way in real life to avoid some of the people I've met here. It's not them or me. It's simply the combination. I well know by now whom I'm compatible with and whom I'm not. It comes with age.

But I will state that I very much enjoyed you Tom and you too gryph, especially your irreverent senses of humor. I'll miss that.

Didn't mean to leave anyone out but since it's you two that had that interaction, I just thought I'd interject here.

Whoa......

What have I been missing??

Matt has a secret...

Naw, everybody knows.

I love Matt. He is even smarter and wittier than you...but just barely on the witty part.

It's not a secret, Tom.

jf

Sockpuppet? He wasn't Lazy Pianist, was he?

I know, I love him too.