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I like it ...

less clothes

Ok, ok.......

How about this one?.....

no.... changed my mind.

I like the old one better... it's as if you (Larry) were the guy who would always take care of things and this one is just like another indian tooting his own horn.

Larry, we are all subject to stereotypes. The fact that I am more free of them than you is directly related to the fact that I recognize them. those of you who try to deny them are the ones who are truly blind.


jf

KathyK: Don't get me wrong its not the complexion of the skin, I have friends who are Maronite Lebanese, Assyrian Iraqis and non practising or fallen Shi'ite Iranians. All have a dark complexion one associates with a person form the Mid East. Its when I learn that they are practising Muslims that I begin to make absurd generalizations. I know it is morally wrong and work constantly to keep it in check.

He called you Kerry Larry.

Jack you are sounding scary..

g'nite

JF, I didn't say that I don't notice or acknowledge a person being black, or gay. You're correct, pretending those differences don't exist would be delusional. But IMO, there's equal danger in denying the differences as there are in overstating them. My point: I'm thinking of two members of my staff. One is married, white, Protestant, from a small town upbringing. The other is black, divorced, mostly ambivalent about religion, and comes from a very urban background. Knowing me, it's probably no surprise that politics is a big topic of conversation in my office. So, want to take a guess as to the politics of these two? Who's a rightie, and who's a leftie? In fact, they're both conservative, and agree on most political issues, but if you allowed stereotypical attitudes derived from noticing their different appearance and backgrounds, you'd have been mistaken. In fact, most of the political dissent in our office comes from Val,the young, single, white, college-age female - but before you allow assumptions about her to creep in, realize that while a leftie, she is also a longtime member of the NRA and regularly heads down to her family's farm near Cincinnati for "shooting weekends."

So you think you know, but you just don't know. Same with someone who is gay. Certainly acknowledge that a person is gay, but in the end, just what do you do with that knowledge? Are you supposed to treat that person differently, in a way that you assume "gays want to be treated?" In other words, knowing a person's sexual orientation does not automatically pigeonhole a him, or give anyone any "actionable" information about either who he is as a person, or how I relate to him.

I say, "notice, but it doesn't really matter." You seem to be saying, "notice, and admit that it matters in your head, but rise above it." Sounds to me like we're saying the same thing, in different terms. Either way, if we're both adhering to our stated philosopies, we end up on the same square.

It's not enough to ignore it. Colorblindness (in the best sense of it) requires work and awareness.

jf

Dwain, perfectly stated. I agree.

jf

Jack are you admonishing me for being honest?

Ok, you win, Jack. The old me is back.

I guess there's no need to consider a picture of my cousin, huh?.....

the true Larry shows his face....never mind, you can go crawl under a bush and stay........


jf

Not a bit. What are you refering to?

jf

Glad your old avatar is back, Larry. Way too confusing when people change.

Jodi

Jack, I wasn't sure what you meant it's been a long day.... and I have to go on a business trip tomorrow and I'm procrastinating everything that has to be done. The upside is that I'll get to see the Alamo when I get there.

kenny,
Well said.

Congratulations.

I don't know if there is any way to explain what it's like for those in our generation to come out.

Dwain hinted on it: the fact is, if the wrong people knew about me, I wouldn't be able to walk home safely at night. That's for starters. We're talking acts of violence and murder.

Some ask "who cares". Some people care enough that they are willing to kill us over it.

It matters enough to some people that they are willing to deny us rights over it.

Sometimes people ask "who cares" because they want it to remain hidden and pretend it doesn't exist.

The earth is round. Who cares? Why did what's-his-name have to blab it all around, why didn't he just keep it to himself?

If Jack wasn't, I am now.
I too have my set of emotional biases that I have to constantly work to keep in check.

Dwain and Jack, thanks for the clarification and follow-up posts about acknowledging stereotypes and dealing with the sometimes innate tendencies to discriminate. My thoughts parallel what you wrote.

Axe, I deserve it. I'm only human.

I think you are being a drama queen, Bernard. Am I wrong? What would happen if someone confronted you? Have you trained in martial arts? Do you carry a concealed weapon?

I do both, and I am not a homosexual. Homosexuality has nothing to do with self-defense.

If you care for your life and those around you you might consider being able to defend yourself.

If you are already capable of defending yourself, then I applaud you.

If you aren't able to defend yourself, then I suggest you remedy that.

It's MELANIE, from Long Island. How can I help, sweetie?