Once upon a time...

The quarterback for the high school football team heads out to the field. This is the biggest game of the season. The crowd is going wild. He stops to say hello to one of the cheerleaders.

"Hey, yourself, Purple Flower," she replies.

The QB is very confused. Why should she call him a purple flower? So he decided to ask his coach.

"Hey, Coach - one of the cheerleaders just called me a purple flower. What's up with that?"

The coach reddened. "I'll tell you what's up with that. You're off the team. Get out of here."

The QB is very upset. The biggest game of the season, and he's out because a cheerleader called him a purple flower. What is a purple flower anyhow? This made no sense.

So the next day, the ex-QB went to see the athletics director of the high school.

"Hey, man, this girl called me a purple flower last night at the game, and when I told Coach, he kicked me off the team! What's going on? What's a purple flower?"

"Son, don't ever say that to me again. Go to the principal's office."

So the kid goes to see the principal. He's expelled from school.

His parents are furious! "What do you mean expelled from school? First you're kicked off the team, and now you're expelled? What'd you do??"

"I don't know!" whined the kid. "This girl just called me a purple flower, and..."

*gasp*

Around midnight, a police officer stops the kid walking down the sidewalk.

"Hey, kid. Aren't you supposed to be home by now?"

"I don't have a home. My parents kicked me out. I was expelled from school. I was kicked off the football team. Just because a cheerleader called me a purple flower! I don't even know what that means, to be called a purple flower!"

*gasp*

"So, kid, what are you in for?" asks the poor kid's inmate at the local prison.

"I wish I knew! It all started when this darn cheerleader called me a purple flower at the biggest game of the season. I told Coach, and he kicked me off the team. I told the athletics director, and he sent me to the principal's office. I told the principal, and he expelled me from school. I told my parents, and they kicked me out of the house. I told this police officer, and he arrested me. I told the court, and I got sent here to prison. I don't even know what a purple flower is! Why won't anybody tell me what a purple flower is?"

"So happens," replies the inmate, "that I know what a purple flower is. In fact, I may be the only person in the whole world who can tell you. I will tell you, if you help me escape. Here, start digging."

So for a year and a half, they dig. They dig, and they dig, and finally they make a nice tunnel right underneath the wall. The inmate goes first. He's so excited when he gets outside, that he starts running around, screaming, dancing, right in the middle of the street, and he gets hit by a truck and dies.

... The end.

Oh.

Once upon a time, in an enchanted forest, there stood a very large house. And in the very large house in the middle of the enchanted forest lived beautiful young maiden - and a peculiar maiden at that, for since the day she was born she had an obsession with the color pink. Everything she owned was pink. Her furniture was pink, her curtains were pink, and her books were kept in pink covers. Indeed, even her very large house was pink. From the east wall to the west, you could not find one thing that was not pink.


One rainy night, as the young maiden was getting ready for bed, she heard the sound of her doorbell, echoing through the pink walls of her large pink house. She glanced over at her pink clock, and seeing that it was only 9 o’clock, she slipped on her pink negligee and went to answer the door. Out of her pink room, down the pink hallway, down the pink stairs, and up to the pink door she went, noiselessly treading in her soft pink slippers. Opening the pink door, she was surprised to see a ridiculous-looking, rotund little man, drenched to the bone from the pouring rain. She ushered him in, closing the pink door behind him, and learned that his car had broken down some 2 miles down the road, and he was in need of a place to stay for the night. Feeling sorry for him, she led the man up her pink stairs, down the pink hallway, and into a homely pink room. Setting a fire for him, she bid him goodnight, and went back to her own pink room.

Just as she was settling down with one of her favorite novels, she again hears the doorbell, echoing through the pink walls of her large pink house. She glanced over at her pink clock, and seeing that it was only half past 9, she slipped on her pink negligee and went to answer the door. Out of her pink room, down the pink hallway, down the pink stairs, and up to the pink door she went, noiselessly treading in her soft pink slippers. She opened to door, and her gaze was met by a dark set of eyes, peering at her from underneath the top hat the stranger was wearing. The stranger introduced himself as an out-of-town businessman who had lost his way, and requested the use of her phone. Explaining that she had no phone, and seeing the storm raging outside, she insisted he stay the night. So up the pink stairs they went, down the pink hallway, and into another pink room. Setting a fire for him, she bid him goodnight, and went back to her own pink room.

Now feeling too tired to read, she turned off her pink lamp. But just as she is about to nod off, she again hears the doorbell, echoing through the pink walls of her large pink house. She glanced over at her pink clock, and seeing that it was nearing 10 o’clock, she reluctantly slipped on her pink negligee and went to answer the door. Out of her pink room, down the pink hallway, down the pink stairs, and up to the pink door she went, noiselessly treading in her soft pink slippers. Opening the pink door, a robust-looking elderly man immediately stepped into the pink house, shaking off his umbrella. Apologizing for his obtrusiveness, he explained how he had been taking his evening walk in the enchanted woods, and must have fallen asleep while resting under an old oak tree. Hastily accepting her offer of a room for the night, he was led up her pink stairs, down the pink hallway, and into yet another pink room. Setting a fire for him, she bid him goodnight, and went back to her own pink room.

By now it was close to 11 o’clock, and exhausted from these repeated trips through her large pink house, she quickly fell asleep. Just as she was slipping off into dreamland, her slumber was once again disturbed by the sound of that infernal doorbell! Flustered, she steps out of her pink room, not bothering to put on her pink nightgown. Making her way down the pink stairs, she flings open her door to an incredibly handsome young man. Shocked by the prospect of the lovely young woman standing there in nothing but her undergarments, he could barely utter more than a few words to explain his situation. Not bothering to let him complete his sentence, she hastened him up her pink stairs, down the pink hallway, and into a final pink room. Giving a perturbed nod to the young man, she closed the pink door behind him, made her way back to her pink room, and fell asleep before her head hit her pink pillow.


The next morning, the men awoke to find their clothes hanging in front of the fire to dry. Getting dressed, they each exited their pink rooms and made their way down the pink hallway, down the pink stairs, and into the a well-furnished pink dining room. Taking their pink seats at the pink table, they each took one of the pink bowls and spoons that had been laid out neatly on the pink tablecloth. Seeing the men at the table, the young woman brought out two pink cereal boxes, one filled with Frosted Flakes, the other filled with Rice Krispies.

The rotund man, who had been the first to show up at her door the previous night, took the Frosted Flakes and began to eat. The second man, the one with the top hat, also took the Frosted Flakes. Her third guest, the elderly man, took the Rice Krispies. And finally her last visitor, the dashing young man, took the Frosted Flakes. After they had all eaten, they thanked the maiden for her hospitality, and took their leave.


The moral of this story: 3 out of 4 men prefer Frosted Flakes to Rice Krispies.

Sheeeeesh! :rolleyes: