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#916276 - 09/05/05 08:09 AM For those who THINK they understand CATS & DOGS
-Frycek Offline
5000 Post Club Member

Registered: 08/06/05
Posts: 5921
Loc: SC Mountains
This was given to me by a friend at work. I have three dogs and four cats.

Dog and Cat Diary . . .

As seen in a dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.
Slow down and do it right.

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#916277 - 09/05/05 10:18 PM Re: For those who THINK they understand CATS & DOGS
pianojerome Offline
9000 Post Club Member

Registered: 01/01/05
Posts: 9868

#916278 - 12/12/05 11:33 AM Re: For those who THINK they understand CATS & DOGS
Poof Offline
Full Member

Registered: 12/06/05
Posts: 53
Loc: TX
That's great! \:D
Think of the fierce energy concentrated in an acorn! You bury it in the ground, and it explodes into an oak! Bury a sheep, and nothing happens but decay. ~George Bernard Shaw

#916279 - 12/12/05 11:47 AM Re: For those who THINK they understand CATS & DOGS
Piano World Offline

Registered: 05/24/01
Posts: 5835
Loc: Parsonsfield, ME (orig. Nahant...
Great stuff.

You might also like this ...
How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
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#916280 - 12/12/05 07:50 PM Re: For those who THINK they understand CATS & DOGS
PerformingYak Offline
Full Member

Registered: 11/16/05
Posts: 205
Loc: Lightning Ridge, Australia
I saw this one in a uni mag a few years ago but wanted to get my hands on it ever since I threw that mag away... it's a classic!
"Work hard and strive to reach the power of bland"


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