I'm just wondering how you all want to be disposed of when you die. Surely you've thought about it, no? I'll bet money that you can learn a lot about a person by what their final wishes are.

Me, I have decreed that I be buried in 9-foot ebony satin Estonia with Bubinga rim.

Seriously, I have told dh tht I don't want a big fuss, really. Open casket is to be frowned upon, but I'll put up with it if he absolutely has to have one last look at my cold, lifeless features. I have asked to be cremated; I abhor the expense of traditional burial, and it seems a little grabby to tie up even the smallest parcel of real estate for all eternity. I'm not creative enough to declare what should happen with the ashes; I'll leave that to his discretion.

He smiled knowingly and told me not to sweat it, as they'll never find my body.

You think I should be worried?



Cindy -- whose most recent funeral was for a cousin she didn't know very well who was shot in the head by drug dealers and stuffed in the trunk of his car last Thanksgiving, and who was discovered by his aunt who was driving the streets trying to find him because he had been missing so long

(not the last part, that was definitely , but I got a kick out of your husbands comment).

Cremated, definitely. And I saw a really cool thing on the TV about turning ashes into diamonds. I think that would be way cool.

Jodi

jodi, i have a friend's ashes that were made into a golden buddha statue. all her friends got one. wierd, i know.

i know this is going to sound even wierder, but i would like to be buried deep in the ground without a casket, and no embalming fluid. i like the idea of becoming part of the earth and nourishing trees and grasses.

call me compost. which is kind of how i feel after my most recent "engagement" in the cr.

i'll stick around here now, thanks! cindy, this was another good idea! someone please pass the tea and milk?

this was another good idea![/b]

Thank you. The idea was mine.

You couldn't resist visiting could you Larry!

I think I would like to be buried under a small tree (I'm not sure about cremation but I guess the tree would suck me up more if I were ash (pun unintended ) but it seems like a nice way of spending your death. What a morbid thread.

Where is this killer whale?!

I represented a funeral home operator at one point and he used to refer to the "shake 'n bakes," the people who just wanted a cremation in a cheap box.

I want to be a shake 'n bake. We have a family camp on a lake here in Maine that is in trust and will be in the family forever we hope, and that is where my ashes go. We have a spot already cleared in the woods and my mother is already there.

jf

Maybe I should direct that my ashes be sprinkled around Costco, as I spend so much time in line there.

Not as nice as JF's and Sarah's ideas, though . . .

Cindy - how is it that you come up with the perfect holiday thread??? I remember being at Crown Books a few holiday seasons ago - I picked up a book of suicide notes -- joked with the cashier that it was the perfect holiday reading...

K

A book of suicide notes? Yikes.

Seriously - my in-laws are very involved in the Unitarian church in their town - and they have created a memorial garden at that chuch. It has a big plaque in it where you can get your loved one's name inscribed, and there are flower beds all around where you are allowed to spread their ashes. I think that is a great idea.

Jodi (who is wondering what cremated remains do to the composition of garden soil, and if you the need to ammend it in any way after so many - erm - "spreadings" it to keep things growing properly?)

Actually we had the idea simultaneously. Only I was busy checking out the possiblilities of using the Organs thread. But I didn't think the few people there would be thrilled if I titled my first post "Hey You Weenies"...

Jodi

Kluurs, I have a serious, serious morbid streak.

Have you ever read the book "How We Die?" It is an excellent work of nonfiction written by a doctor, and it won some important nonfiction award when it came out. It explains what actually happens to the human body when we die, going through death by trauma, heart failure, cancer, AIDS and the like. I had so many misconceptions from the movies, and now I've been properly straightened out.

I also belong to a web site where we play a harmless little game. Players submit lists of famous people (sports figures, celebrities, politicians, etc.) they think will die in the next six months. Points are awarded for each death on a player's list, with extra points for correctly predicting the cause of death. We mourn those who pass by, well, talking about them. And in Rodney Dangerfield's case, by posting his jokes.

I won the last round with the highest total any player has ever amassed, having predicted the unfortunate demise of Ronald Reagan, Archibald Cox, Tony Randall, Christopher Reeve, Ray Charles, Marlon Brando and Rodney Dangerfield.

Yeah, I know. It squicks normal people out. But we have an official rule that you are not allowed to actually kill anyone on your list.

And I have learned from that game that death is completely and utterly unpredictable, and it might make sense to make every day count.

We've always known them to be "wake & bake".

Me? I think an elaborate traditional burial involving the most expensive casket available, in the largest cathedral in town, full philharmonic choir, orchestra and marching band, huge floral arrangements, and fireworks over the grave site. You know, the most expensive, elaborate and nightmarish funeral possible, done solely as revenge against my children for all the trouble and expense they put me through in life.

But seriously, I have no problems with a traditional funeral. Being of an Irish Newfoundland Catholic backround, I would just regret the party everyone would be having on my behalf, and not being able to attend - at least not as a participant, even if I were the "guest of honour".

Jamie

Me too...got it from my mother.

My brother once said, "if ever I will kill myself, it will be 5 minutes after I get off the phone with her..."

Yes, I'm familiar with the book. I do think it helps to be mindful of the impermance of things - especially us

...helps to keep focus where it should be...on music...the one beauty that seems to always be with us...

I did meet a woman a few years back who was a lovely person - kept horses and a small menagerie of animals on her little farm. She worked for the Veterans administration - and would bring patients home on the weekends to her place - sometimes soldiers who had been abandoned by family - or who had nowhere to go. One day she was riding one of her horses when she was thrown and her head was struck by the horse...she was made a quadriplegic...but the blessings didn't end there...she lived in darkness because she was also made blind...and lastly...she was struck deaf...a world of darkness, soundlessness and no movement...

if there is a worse thing than death it was now her life. I don't know where she is now...she used to be at the Hines Hospital near Chicago, but hasn't been there for a while...

I think of her every day...

K

Kluurs, do you watch those ER shows on cable, where they bring people in with pitchforks shoved through their chests? I sometimes take all the laundry into the den and watch those shows and fold --

What are the rest of you people looking at?

I've repeatedly told my family that they can put me in a Hefty bag and bury me in the backyard (after I'm dead, of course). I don't know if this conforms with the Jewish tradition of being buried in a plain pine box.

Just for the Fun of it - thread: And you thought *your* job was tough

I haven't decided what I want done to me. That's one of the things that's holding us up from "getting our affairs in order".

The Housebound wants to be cremated. Then he wants our girls to sprinkle him out while they ski down from the very top of Mammoth Mountain. With what's left over, he wants a little bit of him to be sprinkled whenver they go somewhere for a vacation.

I have actually held the cremated remains of my best friend in my hands. They are chalky white and powdery with bits of bone fragments mixed. in. I was given the honor of being only the 2nd person to even see them by his mother who has remained one of my closest and dearest friends for the past 17+ years since his death.

I have been given the charge of spreading her ashes and his together down by the creek that flows through their backyard which also meanders down and flows through my backyard about 4 miles downstream.

I am also a proponent of cremation. I want to be cremated and spread around the creek as well.

My first choice would be to blast my untouched body into outer space out beyond the outer reaches of the solar system to be discovered by other beings in tens of thousands if not millions of years. Maybe they could bring me back or maybe they would just be grossed out!

Man, I hate to rain on anyone's parade, but I think some jurisdictions have laws prohibiting the sprinkling of human remains.

In Florida, these laws are enforced by specially trained detectives.

They call themselves "Miami Vase."

Cindy -- who has a vague recollection about hearing of the existence of those laws, but who might well be mistaken

My stepfather died of Lou Gehrig's disease (amyotropic lateral sclerosis) back in the 80's. When he was diagnosed, they told us he had about a year and a half to live - which is how long he lasted. One of the positives (if there are any) of that is that when your loved one dies, you (hopefully) have had some time to come to grips with it, so it's more peaceful, and the funeral seems less tragic, somehow.

ANYWAY, we had him cremated - and my mom gave the funeral home a pottery jar (that had been one of his favorites) to put him in. So, when these two somber guys in black suits came to the front door, and my step brother and I opened it and they hand us THE COOKIE JAR, we looked at each other and cracked up. Poor funeral home guys. They didn't quite know how to react. I can remember opening up the jar and looking (looks sort of like sand) and my stepbrother and I wondering if we sifted through it if we would be able to find the gold from his fillings...

We buried him in a cemetary along the river (the cemetary people kept trying to get us to choose one of the plots up the hill, because that little river sometimes flooded up over those lower plots - but we knew he's get a kick out of that.) I remember we read some of his favorite poems, and we each put things in the jar before it went in the ground. I had a little silver locket with pictures of the dog and cat which I dropped in.

Jodi

Don't stop now, Cindy! You're on fire!

Seriously, Cindy...put it out...

:p :p

Let’s be practical; Why waste fertilizer?
I’m dead; I won’t care.

I welcome maggots, vultures, flies, rats and such.
Then I want to rot into the ground to make plants.

Then all that living stuff can make more living stuff.

Nature.
Eternal life.


Oh, and I think it is rude to leave wishes for survivors to do anything with your ashes.
Some people don't want the job.
Sheesh, what about their feelings?
Then, what if they refuse, now they got guilt.
Thanks a lot.
Scatter your own ashes.

I'd like one of these two.......
1. To be plunged at top speed to the bottom of a very deep ocean where I'd implode and leave nothing.
2.To have a sky burial like they have in Tibet. After hauling your carcass to the top of a mountain, a priest/monk/religous person says a few prayers and then dismembers you. He then chucks the remains over the mountain for the vultures.

Let me guess, Lucy, the prayer was a "parting" blessing, right?

Jamie

I've been told I'm gonna rot in Hell.

but all the best people will be there... They only sell Belarus pianos.

I think I'll be the shake & bake (or wake & bake) type myself, followed by, of course, a WEENIE ROAST!!