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#917731 - 03/25/07 09:47 PM HOW TO WRITE GOOD
U S A P T Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 10/20/06
Posts: 1645
Loc: An Indiana University
HOW TO WRITE GOOD

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. Be more or less specific.
15. Understatement is always best.
16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18. The passive voice is to be avoided.
19. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
20. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
21. Who needs rhetorical questions?
22. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
_________________________
Full-Time Music/Entrepreneurship Major: (Why not compose music AND businesses?)
Former Piano Industry Professional
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Roland Atelier AT90R
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All Posts are Snarky Unless Otherwise Noted
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#917732 - 03/26/07 08:54 PM Re: HOW TO WRITE GOOD
phonehome Offline
500 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/28/06
Posts: 921
haha those are funny =o)

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#917733 - 03/26/07 09:12 PM Re: HOW TO WRITE GOOD
PerformingYak Offline
Full Member

Registered: 11/16/05
Posts: 205
Loc: Lightning Ridge, Australia
Haha they are cool

I think my kids at school need some of these.... the ones who can read anyway:)..
sorry that sounds so mean(especially as I know I teach high school kids) but it is so true
_________________________
"Work hard and strive to reach the power of bland"

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#917734 - 03/26/07 09:20 PM Re: HOW TO WRITE GOOD
U S A P T Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 10/20/06
Posts: 1645
Loc: An Indiana University
The one that isn't on there is on a t-shirt of mine:

"ESCHEW OBFUSCATION" Goes over real well in a truckstop let me tell you.

My other favorite shirt has a silk-screen image of Stonehenge and in celtic writing underneath reads:

"Gimme that Old Time Religion."

\:\)
_________________________
Full-Time Music/Entrepreneurship Major: (Why not compose music AND businesses?)
Former Piano Industry Professional
************
Steinway M
Roland Atelier AT90R
************
All Posts are Snarky Unless Otherwise Noted
************

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#917735 - 03/26/07 09:27 PM Re: HOW TO WRITE GOOD
Piano*Dad Offline
Yikes! 10000 Post Club Member

Registered: 04/12/05
Posts: 10297
Loc: Williamsburg, VA
To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before!
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#917736 - 03/26/07 09:37 PM Re: HOW TO WRITE GOOD
thunder Offline
Full Member

Registered: 01/24/07
Posts: 59
Loc: Northern California
USAPianoTrucker, you stole my thunder! "Eschew obfuscation" has always been our family motto. I can't say I've ever used it at a truck stop, though. Probably that's why I'm still here to post messages.

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#917737 - 03/26/07 09:41 PM Re: HOW TO WRITE GOOD
U S A P T Offline
1000 Post Club Member

Registered: 10/20/06
Posts: 1645
Loc: An Indiana University
_________________________
Full-Time Music/Entrepreneurship Major: (Why not compose music AND businesses?)
Former Piano Industry Professional
************
Steinway M
Roland Atelier AT90R
************
All Posts are Snarky Unless Otherwise Noted
************

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#917738 - 05/02/07 04:47 PM Re: HOW TO WRITE GOOD
Bryan P. Carney Offline
Full Member

Registered: 05/23/06
Posts: 148
Loc: Cleveland, Ohio, US
 Quote:
Originally posted by USAPianoTrucker:
HOW TO WRITE GOOD
[snip]
[/b]
I did think I was a good writer. Now I don't. Thanks!

[edit]

On second thought, screw this list! If I weren't the number one fan of conditionals and subjunctives, I would not object.

Alliteration is not the domain of high school poet hacks. If it's good enough for Chaucer, it's good enough for us, still.

God, why am I so sensitive?

[/edit]
_________________________
=====================
nil volentibus arduum
Do it for Fux' sake.
=====================

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#917739 - 05/02/07 05:25 PM Re: HOW TO WRITE GOOD
oldcars Offline
Full Member

Registered: 05/11/06
Posts: 253
Loc: Philly burbs
I dropped out of school when I were 16.
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Bösendorfer 225
Yamaha CVP 307
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Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. Henry David Thoreau

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