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In the past 3 days of teaching (Friday, Saturday and Sunday), I've lost 3 students, one per day. Two piano, one voice. One of the piano students, I expected to lose since she had canceled her last lesson and didn't show up to the group lesson or recital I had on Saturday. The other two were a big surprise. And they were all supposedly "not my fault". I'm not sure if I believe that after 3 quitting. I always try to be understanding about when people need to quit, because I know it happens, and a lot of times, it's just circumstances for that time. Sometimes, but usually not, they even come back to it later. Last night when my voice student handed me the note about quitting, I almost burst into tears. I invest so much into these students, and yes, it is initially a financial transaction (they pay me to give them lessons), but it grows into a friendship, a very unique kind of relationship. And then there comes a point when it's not worth the money to them anymore and it becomes a financial transaction again.

None of these students parents mentioned that it was monetary. They all said it was a schedule, but I'm sure that since I raised my prices, that becomes a factor into what they're considering when it comes time to quit something. I just really felt I was finally reaching these kids and we were making progress. I always tell the parents that it's alright, I understand, sad to see them go, and if things change in the future to let me know. I couldn't last night, and so I just kind of nodded and said I was sorry. I guess I can use some words of encouragement .

Morodiene, I've read a lot of your posts, and I think you are a caring, conscientious teacher. If you lived in Lexington I would certainly be inclined to ask you for lessons.

I would not take this personally. Losing three students in three days may seem like a terrible trend, but it's really just the issue of timing. Many people use the holidays to reprioritize their commitments. I suspect that if you added up your defections over the year, your retention rate is typical if not better of any music teacher.

I would take your students' comments at face value. Kids these days are WAY over-scheduled, and even though they may enjoy lessons and continue to be making progress, it's possible that other activities are more important to them and/or homework is getting in the way. I really doubt it is the money issue. What music teachers charge for lessons is a drop in the bucket compared to what most, if not all, these families are paying for other activities, or, say, the cable bill.

True! I never thought about bill! LOL! Thanks, Monica.

Morodiene,

That is a triple whammy, and I'm sorry you are feeling badly about it, and probably asking "Why?"

You would have a little less sudden terminations if you would use a 30 Day Termination Notice as part of your policy. I would be glad to share mine with you by attachment if you want it.

I'm all for planning the goodbye, mostly it hurts when it's very sudden, when there is no discussion about it. And, to have 3 in a row, that would be a heavy one.

You are right, they do not know how invested and involved we are in their behalf, nor how fond of them and proud of them we might be.

One of the things that made me use the 30 day notice was to avoid the abrupt ending. It would leave me upset enough that when the next student came in the door, it was hard to be "normal" and direct attention to the next student. Not impossible, just you would rather not have to give a lesson on that kind of emotional pressure.

Please rejuvenate quickly! I understand where you are coming from. Hug!

Betty

Awwww...big virtual hugs!!!

It truly doesn't sound like your fault. It's just the press of the hectic modern life. Going into the service end of pianos, I've given a lot of though lately to getting and keeping business (it remains, after all, a financial transaction...). You've got to be creative these days!! Maybe, if you see 'defections' during the holidays, you could adjust your fees and give "free" December lessons. If your students are generally young, I would scour the internet and make sure the parents receive every snippet about the myriad benefits of music in terms of education performance, etc. There are lots of things you can do to "brand" yourself as a premium, and highly desirable, service...not "just" the piano teacher!!

The fact that you see your students as more than 'cash cows' puts you in the "desirable" catagory already, IMO.

It is certainly not your fault. If someone is going to quit it often happens at this time of year or the end of the summer term.

On a more positive note, isn't it better that they leave it rather than just keep coming to lessons when their heart is not in it?

Sounds like the 3 at once thing is just bad luck. There's not much you can do about it. I find that the new year brings many calls and enquiries about lessons. Perhaps the students you put in their place will turn out to be great.

Oh I do have a 30 day termination policy. Two of them were giving me notice, and one just stopped altogether for health reasons (she doesn't handle stress well), so she won't be getting the rest of the lessons she paid for. But the thing is, this is their last lesson before Christmas break, and unless they have a make-up the first week in January, I won't see them until the week of Jan 7th. They will then have 3 lessons until the end of the semester, which is the week of Jan 21st.

I was actually thankful to have a student right after the one last night. She is the one I have spent the most time on because she is a voice student and I had been trying very hard to get across some basic concepts, which she was finally starting to do. Having the student after her allowed me to put that out of my mind for a bit longer and focus on her. Still doesn't make it easy. But I'll do my best to prepare them for not studying piano or voice with a teacher as best I can, and give them good memories these last few lessons.

Morodiene, it's most unfortunate that you lost three students all at once, and well, I liked the part that your students mean a lot more to you than making a living (though, obviously, that's what you also need!). That certainly does speak for you!

I believe it's the time of year when it's more likely to take stock of one's activities and decide what to continue and which not, which would explain you have three students leaving at the same time. That would make it think it's not because of anything you have an influence on.

What also comes to mind: I do value my piano teachers very much and I am always looking forward to see them again after holidays or whatever else caused a longer break. And I do value so much what they do and the time they take (e.g. one fitting me into a tight concert/recital schedule), but for this kind of appreciation it usually takes an adult. Kids take it so much more for granted, and the parents are unlikely to develop a close relationship to the teacher because they are not the student.

Maybe the "very special" teacher/student relationships which are mutually valued are as rare as real close friendships?

Just the other day, I've read "whereever a door is closed, God will open up a better and bigger door for you". I wish that this is true for you in this experience!

Sorry to hear about what you are going through. Unfortunately I guess it's part of the territory (though I understand it doesn't make it any easier to deal with, esp when they come in waves).

From the opposite perspective, it's also hard on parents, esp if it's NOT the situations described above (financial, schedule, lack of commitment). In our daughters case we moved her from one teacher to another for two reasons, first, her original teacher's personality wasn't the best fit for our daughter (we as parents got along fine, and it wasn't terrible, she just didn't quite mesh with our daughter). Second, and this was the #1 reason, we had found a teacher that was highly regarded and was probably better suited to take our daughter to the "next level". So this left us in a situation where we were leaving without the "benefit" of having a nice canned excuse. It certainly was not easy on us, like I said, we personally like the teacher. But we sucked it up, told her honestly what we were doing (well sorta, we left out point #1, but did tell her point #2, she understood), brought her some flowers and thanked her profusely for getting our daughter to where she was.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't take it personally. These things happen and are a part of "the natural way of things".

You hit the nail right on the head! I woke up at 3 am this morning and was so upset I began crying and praying. Just a few minutes ago, I received a call from the principal of a nearby middle school whose music teacher referred her to me. She signed her son up for piano lessons! God does answer prayers, and I'm sure that he is using this temporary pain for good. Thanks for the reminder, and thank God for his undying loyalty.

Morodiene, you and I are similar in that we both teach piano and voice. And I, also, have had several students quit in the last couple of months (they all mentioned scheduling as the reason, specifically sports team conflicts). I try to be understanding and smile when I assure the parents that I will try to fit them back into my schedule if & when they are able to return--but more often than not, when they call back to start lessons again they will find their "spot" filled with someone on my waiting list. I've learned to accept a few quitters as "par for the course"; and as a parent I remember having to tell a private teacher that my son's hectic schedule just didn't allow for him to squeeze in trumpet lessons (along with the practice time commitment) anymore. So I've seen it from both sides of the issue!

A few times over the years I've run into former students who tell me that they fondly remember studying with me, and have recommended me as a teacher to friends & relatives. I want my students' families last interaction with me as their teacher to be a positive one, so I make sure to smile and tell them to continue making music a regular part of their life. Then I immediately get out my waiting list and call the next student!

Well, the economy here isn't doing so well. I had very little calls for new students in the Fall, and I don't have a waiting list. That's not the main issue, but it certainly adds to it. I think my problem is that this semester, I moved my studio out of my home into a wonderful space, added monthly group lessons to the weekly private lessons, and all in all given a huge effort toward improving my teaching. It just doesn't seem to have paid off. I've always been a conscientious teacher, but I really refocused my life so that this is my first priority, and this makes me feel like a failure. I'll get over it, I always do.

Morodiene,

Please be careful what you are allowing yourself to think. This is the time to reaffirm yourself not beat yourself up.

Your priorities are fine, you are a conscientious teacher, you are not a failure. It is a situational happening.

This is the time of year, along with the time when school is out for the summer, that most of us have readjustments in the studio.

You are right,the market is down for private teachers in many places. Many potential clients are choosing store teaching where they can move from piano to guitar or drums if the student wants a variety of lessons. Also some of the group music activities run a little cheaper and friends can carpool. They sign up by semesters and they feel safe in that they can leave soon with no other explanation than to not enroll for the next semester.

If you advertise locally this is the time to do it, or take business cards to the local music store.

Think solutions. This is temporary.

Betty

Dear Morodiene,

Big hugs for you! Losing students is always heart-wrenching, no matter what the reason - and especially when you feel you've finally "reached" a student and are on the cusp of wonderful things. I've been surprised by cancellations, too, and once it was one of my star students: wonderful practicing habits, family support, we always had great fun and made progress, she loved playing. But other interests won out as she headed into high school. I cried as I drove home that day!

As others have said, your warmth and compassion really comes through your posts and I can tell you're a wonderful teacher. One way I've tried to work my way through tough losses is to try and be creative with the "extra" time in my schedule. Perhaps you could make/find some new games for your studio, do a bit of redecorating, or create some new fun worksheets for the new year? Or maybe just play some songs you love.

God is indeed faithful, and you can rest in that above all else!

Hugs and prayers for new students in the new year,

Kim

PS - If you're interesting in chatting about ways to get the word out about your studio, PM me! I did a lot of work to research 'out of the box' marketing when I started my studio and traditional advertising didn't work at ALL.

Morodiene -

((Hug)). But you know whenever we change, some people (students) will want to change with us and others... will not.

I would be inclined to think at this time of the year, it is just a coincidence, but some students (or families) may not like the changes you have made. You seem like a caring, wonderful teacher.

A small suggestion - it might be nice to write a brief note to these students/families thanking them for their support over the years and leaving the door open should they want lessons in the future. These families may or may not come back but people do talk, and expressing the caring you feel may be good for your studio. It also may give you a sense of closure and peace.

When my 12 year old daughter switched teachers this summer I made her write a thank you letter to her teacher of 4 years. It was a hard letter for her to write, and harder to give, but I think it brought them both closure (he was a wonderful, inexperienced teacher - she needed more eventually but he really gave he loads of enthusiasm and a great start)

Good wishes for new students in the new year!

That's a good idea. I think I will send them a note saying that I appreciated the opportunity to work with them and to let me know if things calm down and they'd like to start up lessons again. Sometimes it is easier to say things in writing than in person, because you can take the time to choose the right words.

Morodiene--I can imagine how hard this must be for you. Like everyone else has said, it's probably not you. My own three kids absolutely love their piano teacher, never complain about taking lessons or practicing, play very nicely and get lots of compliments about it, but still would quit if I gave them any option on it at all. It has nothing to do with their teacher or the format of lessons; it's just that piano is work, and they'd rather not work if there's another option.

It's a sign of your dedication that it hurts to lose someone. It's not just instruction you're providing, and they will miss you as well.

Nancy

Thanks, Nancy. I think that is a source of some grief for me as well, that the parents aren't making it a priority for the kids. It seems that for a lot of students, they're allowed to delve into so many things, but never get really good at any one thing. But I know that even with quitting, they will have something that will stay with them for a lifetime, so as an adult, they will at least have an easier time picking it back up again.

Morodeine,
It has been very disheartening for me to loose more than one student too close together in time also. I've gotten discouraged when it seems I'm loosing more than I'm gaining. I think every student I have lost has been because of busy schedules and not because of anything I did or that the families weren't happy with. Most of these families were too busy to start with and probably too busy to have started out in lessons to begin with although some came 4 or 5 years but were still always so busy all along. I got to thinking just now, along the lines of the 30 day notice I think I've heard mentioned in the past on the forum some teacher screen at interviews and don't accept students who may fall in the catgory of "busy" - not having time to commit to lessons type families.

Maybe we should all have students sign leases like they do with apartment or house rentals - hee, hee!

I would try to be as nice and encouraging to the students and families without letting this change the way you have always been toward the student all along. Try not to let negative feelings that would hurt the student or family show. This happened to me recently on the other end where someone I do business with and I just deeply respected and adored that person and when problems came up, they let their frustration show not at me but in my presence and changed the way they acted toward me becoming more distant and aloof. They were just a different person than the person I had gotten to know and admired. It really crushed me and was tough to get over. So try to be supportive and encouraging to the student in their future endeavors and make them feel you would be there for them.

When students quit, I always write them a note similar as one would write a student graduating from high school or college and I take the opportunity to give them my "PEP talk" encouraging them to over time find the one or two things in life they love and enjoy the most and focus on those rather than try to do too many things. I encourage them to join a choir, try another instrument, etc. and to always keep music in their lives in some way. I encourage them in future endeavors and wish them luck in whatever they do. I had a student quit once out of the blue, after a break for softball in high school, there was no call that they were coming back, no call they were quitting, no explanation from parents. It was so hard on me because I felt there was no closure, no way for me to give a little gift, or a formal well wishes and it was one of my best, most diligent students ever, who had even written a paper in school about how she admired her piano teacher, also a very good aquaintance of our family. I'm thinking the family was either too busy to call to tell me they were not coming back or it was too hard for them to tell me. I think the student got busy in high school but had taken lessons for about 5 years. I went ahead for my own sense of closure and wrote my encouraging, well wishes letter. It turned out a few years later, she became our kids' babysitter and invited us to her high school graduation party and graduation, and her mom says she still plays the piano for fun.

In addition to having been their teacher, the opportunity to encourage them in my notes to "follow their dreams" makes me feel good about the closure that I have contributed something positive to their lives in the words I write.

It's par for the course, you need to toughen up. Look at it this way, some ingrates always suddenly flee like rats around Christmas time and at the beginning of summer. 98% of students are not really serious about music, they don't care about it like you do, it's just another extra curricular activity like soccer. You will never really know why they leave, so don't give it a second thought, just be glad that you were able to earn some income from them while they were figuring out that piano is more than they can handle. And NEVER get emotionally attached to students, they always eventually leave. My motto is "Out with the old and in with the new!" and "I'm glad to be rid of them, they weren't truly worthy of my time!"

The Piano Lady