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Hey everyone...!

I don't usually post in the Teacher's forum but I guess this would be the best place for this.

My teacher is probably the best pianist I've known. She went to Interlochen as a kid and Graduated in performance at UNC and went to study at Peabody after. She tells my mom and me that she needs to give something back to someone. She lets me come over and practice on her piano while she cleans the house or sets up lessons or gigs.

My mom records every minute that I see her and pays her for that ammount.

My teacher charges my mom for only the once a week lessons.

My teacher got frustrated that my mom was giving her more money . Today, she said that she found revenge on my mom. She was going to buy me some sheet music with the extra money because my mom would not accept any back.

These are both stuborn women.. and I don't know who to side with.

Ideas...opinions?

It sounds like a war with two nice people! No one is gonna win that one!

Count your blessings!

Hmm...I let my students practice on my grands all the time, and I've never gotten any extra money. Maybe I should start charging them...

You're really very lucky to have women with such good character in your life.

From what you've described, I can't tell if this is a 'serious' problem or if its like 'politely' arguing over who will pick up the dinner check.

I can see both sides very clearly, neither of them wanting to take advantage of the other.

If its the former, seems like its on you to resolve it. Politely refraining from going over would obviously would solve the impasse.

Alternatively, you could spent half the time practicing and the other half cleaning her house. Then you can have your teacher give you the extra money and all consciences will be clear. Your mom has paid the teacher for her time. Your teacher has paid you for yours.

If its the latter, you might just say to your mom that the teacher really isn't doing anything while you're practicing in terms of any additional lesson time, if of course, that is what is really happening (she's doing other things). Communicate to her that it is making your teacher feel uncomfortable about accepting the money, because she doesn't feel she's doing anything to earn it. I'd also mention that the offer was made as a gesture of goodwill. Its very similar to giving a person a gift. You don't want to insult the person by offering to pay for it. The gracious thing to do is to simply say, "Thank you."

If your teacher doesn't want the money, I'll take it.

This would be a good one for "Dear Abby"!

I would just let it go. Sounds like they are both enjoying being nice to each other, so, that is fine.

I have a couple of parents that have given me a little extra $ for more time spent or music I have given from the goodness of my heart, etc... and I try to give it back or credit them and they say "oh... no, go buy a latte" or some such thing and I just say "thank you."

It sounds to me your teacher is just being cute and nice about the "revenge" on your mom. I, as a teacher, wouldn't say this and try to keep it more professional, personally; respecting your mom for giving me the money. But that's just me.

It is nice that your mom is doing this, unless she (your mom) wishes your teacher did not give you the extra practice time because she feels she needs to compensate. Is this the case?

If it isn't. Then I just think it is being nice and let it go unless it is embarassing to you, then you need to talk to your mom about not doing it.

I think that the extra time you spend
at your teacher's house, for example,
practicing on her piano while she "cleans
the house" is questionable and may be
the cause of this problem. You should
only be at her house for lessons.

What problem? Debussy is doing well in his lessons, there is no sign of dissatisfaction from his teacher. It is only that his mom feels obligated to pay for the extra time that he spends in the teacher's house practicing and has decided to pay for that extra time. This is a relationship between the mother and the teacher which teacher has handled admirably to everyone's satisfaction. She does not feel obligated to be paid for allowing a student to practice on her pinao while she is not teaching, so she is expressing her values by purchasing learning material for her student; mother is expressing her values by paying for the time spent at the house - both women have managed to be true to their values without imposing values upon each other. What could be better?

I tend to agree with Gyro.

Blessings indeed! Two nice people are amazing. Your mom is wishing to repay your teacher for all the wonderful things she is doing for her AND your teacher is giving you sheet music with the extra money your mom gives her.

It's a win-win situation and I would say forget sides just nod and smile and say thank you over and over and over again! =D

Is there some general principle that motivates your remark, Gyro? If so, I would like to hear it. If not, your comment is extremely insensitive and presumptuous.

I think Gyro means that there is a certain level of professionalism that should be conducted on both sides. So that there are no misunderstandings. It is really up to the teacher to set these guidelines.

But heck, every situation has its exceptions and this may be one of them.