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Oh man....this has to be about the most embarrassing moment I've experienced in a very lon....errr, ever!

I was inside the house working on a couple things (and rather focused on it) and my husband was outside working in the yard and started talking to our neighbor who happens to have never been inside our house. My husband, sweet as can be, apparently told him about my "piano playing ability".

Soooo, next thing I know my husband yells up to me, "Honey, we have company!" I stop what I'm in the middle of and trot downstairs, happy to invite our neighbor in and show him around. Then it happened My husband said "play something for him, sweetie!" Naturally, I hesitated a little (I've never played for ANYONE other than my husband and even then I get distracted and mess up more than I should.) But I figured, heck, the music for my to-be July Piano Bar submission is already sitting there, so how hard can that be? I've pretty much got it down. WRONG!
First few bars went fine ('course it's RH only), then it was all downhill from there. I played wrong notes in parts I know by heart even! And being a David Nevue tune, many of you know this incorporates alot of pedaling, but my pedal foot (and therefore my entire right leg) was shaking like a leaf - as in, totally spazzing out like 100mph! What the.....!? I could not make it stop! What a strange physical response!

I ended up playing bits and pieces here and there for him that were only minutely respectable and explained it's a rather new piece for me, or something like that It's all kind of a blur right now.

Jeesh, wish they could have kept their topic of conversation on tools or some other guy stuff! I hope it's not like this when I go to record myself! WOW!

Tina

Tina, its just nerves. you will get used to it. the first time i played for anyone i was pretty shaky too. but mine wasnt as bad as i just told the people that were in my home that i have never played for anyone before, so that took some of the pressure off, but still i was shaky. they said dont worry just relax. so it wasnt as bad as your experience a few missed notes or what have you, but you get used to it after a while. maybe try practicing with your windows open and imagine people outside listening to you while they are in their yards or walking by. it helps out alot. just a thought. sorry you had a bad experience, but it happens to everyone their first time:)

Your experience is nothing new. It happens to all of us. It takes a lot of playing and in front of people before it ever becomes easy. I used to play in light rock band and we practised so much and always had people coming to see us practise. So when it was time to play in concerts we were ready. However, one thing I noticed about playing in front of people is that you really have to know your instrument and almost play naturally. I don't think we should play pieces that we are just learning. It has to be ingrained in us so that it almost becomes second nature. I was practising with the group 3 times a week and playing continuesly our repertoire. Enough that I knew what the others were going to do. However one aspect thats different is the fact that we are playing alone and not supported by another instrument. More pressure....
Another story: I took classical guitar lessons for a year and played for about 3 yrs now. During a recital I had to play a piece which was quite simple and I was probably the oldest player there. I played the piece quite well backstage and when I got to the stage I sat on my chair and prepared to wow the crowd. Oh ya, my girlfriend and parents came to see me as well. Well not having played classical guitar in front of an audience and not having speakers in front of me to hear myself play, the sound kind of rebounded..so I would hear my guitar and then the sound from the speakers a little afterwards. Well that situation made me blank out and it caused me to play a 2 minutes piece into something like 1 minute.
Now that was emberassing. One because I put so much energy and devotion into my practising that those who know me would at least hear something good. Ah I didnt like that experience. Wow Im babbling sorry about that.
I guess what Im trying to say is I know where your coming from and it happens to everyone.
...Wow does it look like Ive missed my internet connection..

Peter

Well, sorry to say but it probably will be as those of us who have already confronted the demon of the red light can attest. But, playing under the "pressure" of recording does help when you play in front of other people. In both cases you're trying to play your best, without mistakes, so it's like practicing to play in front of people and, like anything else, practice helps.

Misery loves company, Tina, and trust me, you have a LOT of company! Your post is a perfect description of what happened to me the first time I tried to play a piece for somebody other than my immediate family.

The good news, and you can believe this because everybody is saying the same thing, is that it really does get easier and better with experience. So hang in there.

I find it a LOT easier to deal with performance anxiety if I'm playing in front of people who are doing something else besides sitting there and listening to me. So try to do something like that for your next few public playing situations, e.g., maybe you've got some neighbors over or something and they're in another room... just sit at the bench and rattle off the Nevue piece really quickly and then jump back into socializing. Or the next time you have a workman or repair person over, sit at the bench while they're mucking about with the air conditioner. The last time I did that the guy came down and we had a great debate on the merits of classical guitar vs. piano. [has second thoughts about how enjoyable that debate was, as it just occurs to her that she probably was paying $75/hr for the debate... ]

That's funny. You're a good sport though! Don't worry, we only get nervous because we take ourselves way too serious. Approach it lightly and almost as a joke and you'll releive some pressure!

Good luck next time. I've never played in front of anyone without making a mistake, but I really don't care anymore if I make one or not. If I was accepting money, then that's a whole different approach!!!

Thanks y'all, you're the best! It's funny because I believe I posted recently on a similar thread where someone else experienced such anxiety. I have played in many competitions and recitals with other instruments (including solos) and overcame that anxiety relatively quickly, but piano is obviously new to me and I think that's why I flubbed so fabulously! Through much practice, I'm sure once I know my instrument well enough it'll all come together just fine. I would think, though, that when recording I will know that I can just "do-over" and it'll be less stressful, but ya only got one shot at proving to someone for the first time that you don't suck and I could not believe the degree of my "suckiness"! No worries though - I found it more amusing than frustrating. And it definitely was funny after the fact!

Tina

Hi Tina!

Happy Independence Day!

That's normal - it's nerves. One of the toughest things to learn with playing is to relax. As a corollary. it is sometimes necessary to RELAX when beginning a fast/difficult passage, which is counter to natural inclination. That in itself - control of relaxation - is a practice item.

Also, don't get worked up over the Piano Bar. The real deal here are the quarterly recitals. The Piano Bar is more informal, for fun, for enjoyment. Relax!

Performance Nerves suggestions for you...What I do is remember it is not about me this performance at the piano... it is all about the music and to do my best possible... What works too is to keep in mind I have a job to do when scheduled and I will give the people the best job performance possible...I take the focus off myself put it on the music and on the job to be done. Some people say they imagine a room full of people while practicing alone and this helps them when people are present. Good Luck, Sandy B

You've all given great advice that I will incorporate and I thank you for that.
Thanks for the perspectives.

A very Happy Independence Day to everyone here!

Tina

Happy Independence Day!

The good news is... at least that first time is now over That and your husband thinks enough of your playing to drag people over to hear you!

Have a good fourth!

Thanks Saerra, and WELCOME! You'll love it here!

Tina

I've decided that whenever I get asked to play, I'm starting on a VERY simple piece or some exercises and tell them I'm warming up - when really I'm settling the butterflies that are raging inside and causing my fingers to fumble. I've found that the nerves calm within 5 or 10 minutes and the shock of actually playing directly for someone passes.

Dear, Dear Tina,

The very exact thing happened when I was 12 years old in 7th grade. The chorus director, I was one of two accompanists during junios high, highlighted both of us to play solos in the school auditorium with spotlights on the pianist. I played Clair de Lune by DeBussy which I knew forward and backward at the time, and it was the only grand piece I could play. As my foot touched the pedal my entire right leg was shaking wildly, something that had never happened before. The playing went well despite the crazy leg, but I got to the final section and could not get out of it and find the final chord, so I played through that short section again, an easy transition, and same thing, so on the 3rd time through the ending, I played just anything, and of course it wasn't the right chord. I was sweating from the spotlight as it was incredibly warm, and I think it was more the "spotlight" than anything. We are in the spotlight whenever there is a listener.

Now, the good news, Tina, is that this was 1957, and it's been 50 years ago, exactly. And, I've been a piano teacher since 1971. So, to get around it, you have to continue on through. The anxiety simply means your human and alive and conscientious. Don't give your experience another thought or you'll be creating a drama that continues on. Just be aware and comforting to yourself when unexpected things happen.

Betty

I find it gets even worse when it's not your piano. The absolute worst is if it's some untuned sticky key thing. :rolleyes:

mmm... during the performance I always play at non human speed so the human part I'm not sure off. Alive... you should see me after the performance not sure you call that alive and about conscientious... I'm not sure that's the state of mind I'm in when performing in front of a stranger.. I even think I cannot be held responsible for the actions I take during the performance or even 15 minutes after

However practice makes perfect, the first times I played in front of my teacher it did go the same way now I'm over that. Just sometimes when I know the piece about 90% I really like to add-in those extra 10% I have it still but that's just the evil voice inside me telling me... you can do it.. don't screw it up!!! And of course then I start shaking and screw up under such a pressure

Hi, pevawi!

Deep breathing to quiet your mind is very helpful.

If at any time you become dizzy, stop immediatly and return to normal breathing.

In 2 3 4 Out 2 3 4 (Slowly, pevawi, Slowly)
In 2 3 4 Out 2 3 4 (Continue a few more times)
In 2 3 4 HOLD 2 3 4 Out 2 3 4 (a few more times

How fast does your heart beat normally? Does it race during performing?

What are you thinking when this is happening. Is your inner voice getting you upset? Stop talking to yourself, play the music, concentrate.

I noticed on your profile, that you do not own a piano, or has that changed. How do you practice then? And, how often can you be at the piano?

I could understand your anxiety if I were on the 10 meter high diving platform it would be a nightmare, since I don't swim, and I don't do heights like the Space Needle in Seattle, or Niagara Fall, Canada. I would shake and quake and feel nauseous. I'd never be able to climb back down, nor could I dive into the water. What to do? Help!

Do you shake and quake at the piano more than I would on the diving board?

Are you exaggerating at all?

Do you want to tame it?

Betty

Hi Tina,

Thanks for sharing your story. I think most of us have been put on the spot a few times! You're definitely not alone!

I've written my thoughts on stage fright a couple of times before. I had severe performance anxiety all through school and college, which, as you might imagine, interfered quite a bit with trying to get a music degree and good performance experience.

I think that stage fright is actually a pretty natural thing. We spend so much time learning piano by ourselves, practicing, with our only audience being teachers (still nerve-wracking) and family members. So, if 98% of the time you're playing on your own, then how could you possibly feel comfortable in front of other people?

The breakthrough came for me when I started dancing. I got up there in front of people, and made mistakes, but they liked it anyway. And I thought, "aha!" So I started making myself get up in front of people as much as I could. I sang karaoke, I danced, I sing worship at church, play flute or piano for special music, by myself and with others. I make myself keep playing when students walk in the studio and I've been practicing -- just to get more and more experience.

I'll play pianos in malls, hotels, and other people's living rooms, if I'm invited. It may be something completely simple I play, or I might go for something challenging. But they key is to just play.

What happened is my love for playing became bigger than my fear of what other people think. That's a big deal to me, because I thought that I'd never get over my stage fright!!

Plus, I think the real secret is that most people really wish they could play -- anything! -- and so if you play even a simple piece, people love it and are so impressed!

Start inviting the neighbors over and play chopsticks!! :-)

Best,

Kim

I hope some of you might get a kick out of this. The last time we had company, I agreed to play for them...only if they would sit in another room and NOT LISTEN! Oh, and they also had to carry on a lively conversation.

When I heard them start talking, I started playing and never made a mistake. Wow, I have discovered the cure for performance anxiety. Get an audience who'll pay no attention to you.

Kathleen

Betty,

Thanks for your response. You noticed well that I don't own a piano and beyond the 10 minutes practice during organ lesson for the pas 6 weeks I've no experience. However I'm currently shopping for a piano every Saturday I go to a few piano stores to check-out new piano's and I actually try to play them. That's stressful as well since I really suck with 1 hour of practice on a piano ever But I insist on playing the piano before buying. I'm buying one this summer and add piano to my organ lessons. I'm used to play organ and the touch-sensitivity is killing me on the piano .

However my story was a (heavy) bit exaggerating and I made a bit fun with your words I'm sorry for that. I do have the problem of speeding up but that's something that happens a lot I read here. I sure want to tame it however my mind can't be fooled by using meditation techniques (tried them but no luck there). Just keep doing it until I find it easy/normal does the trick for me. And a tiny bit tension is good keeps you on the edge and awake, and good preparation!