Just for fun, I was just wondering what your piano would say to you (or others) if it could talk.

You see, my piano can't talk, but it does give me funny looks all the time! I know that when I started playing 2 years ago, if it could talk, it would probably just say "you suck"!! , but it, (the piano) also appreciates all the time I have spent trying to figure out how to play it and now and then seems to reward me with beautiful sounds.

I have come to realize that when I treat my piano crappy by banging on the keys, playing lots of mistakes without going back and fixing them, or just not respecting what this instrument is capable of doing, it will respond like crap back to me as well.

Sometimes, when I play late at night and am very tired, I will play my piano with very gentle key strokes and just be amazed at what incredible sounds it is cabable of producing!

I can even hit just one single deep bass note and it will Purr back at me like a lion satisfied after eating a big meal.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that my nice piano CAN talk to me (and often does), but no actual words are spoken or even needed.

Its just amazing how well they can respond to your input when done correctly; like it actually does like to be pet....I mean played!!

Some days it may say, "give me a break". Although other times it may accuse me of neglect.

SLOW DOWN!
Oh yah, beat Kathleen in practice time

You are sssooooo funny, DeBussy20. :rolleyes:

My poor piano has been getting a real workout the past 8 months. Before that, I virutally ignored him for many years.

I think he is very pleased to be putting music in the air once again. What he thinks of my playing is another story. :p

Kathleen

My "keyboard" speaks japanese, but I think it says "how come you make the mistake and I get beaten?"

Sarcasm does not suite you, Kathleen
you might as well write limericks for a living then become a professional sarcaster!

I would guess that my home piano would say, "I love it when you run your fingers through my keys...come over here and give me a little lovin'" My studio piano would say, "Those kids are too hard on me...trying to lift up my delicate keys, kicking my lustrous front under the bench...and those dirty fingers! Ugh! Why don't you get rid of them?"

I am very attached to my pianos, I want to buy a grand and sell my beloved 100 year old upright...I just cringe thinking about saying goodbye to the old gal. Maybe I'll hang onto it and have 3 pianos.

Let's see, you named your pianos and now they talk to you. I'm beginning to worry about you folks...

Mine giggles, laughs, and sometimes cries the blues... Most often, when I touch her, she smiles.


And so do I.

She says:"I know you love me, but I can sound much better if you could ask some skillful pianists to play on me. You... some keys you may never have chances to touch."
Do I should sell her? :p

Mine says ''Ouch..quit it''

Peter

My piano would say, "oh my how I love the way you touch me. I love how gentle you glide your fingers, but when you want a reponse you agressively touch me so I cound respond in the same way". It would also say, "common, you don't have to be so gentle you can stroke me hard".

I know this sounds kind of porno, but I don't mean it that way...

Mine would say..."AH HA!!! I KEEP WINNING!!!"

Mine would say...

"Don't quit your day job"

Mine laughs in my face as I hopelessly try to master it.

My piano here at assisted living would say," I enjoy your playing Sandy ...but... please send me a younger, pretty blonde, pianist to play me sometimes..." Sandy B.

I hear mine screaming saying: "OH MY GOD...someone rescue me....PLEASE.....hurry, get me out of here...the noise this guy creates on me is destroying me......HELP HELP HELP...."

sigh.....most of y'all seem to have much nicer pianos

Right now mine is practically sobbing, "Tune me, you heartless creep!"

I'm waiting for the rainy season to end, otherwise I'll just have to tune it again in about 2 months' time.

This thread reminds me of that rather disturbing Andre Segovia quotation, "The piano is a monster that screams when you touch its teeth."

...hmmm...think I'll put that in my signature line for a while...

I can't make out precisely what my piano is saying, but it's something to the effect of "why couldn't I have been bought by somebody who can play worth a damn?"

Mine just screamed "Quick, somebody, PULL the plug" (It's a digital)

Something to the extent of:

"Stop bumming around and PRACTICE!"

--c5

"Dust me!" I never notice how dusty it is until I start practicing, and then I'm too involved to do much about it. By the time practice is over, I've forgotten about the dust...until next time.

And the cycle continues!

OIOIOOOIIIIOIOOOIIIOIOOOOIOIOIOOIOOOIOIIIIOIOIIIOIOIIOIOIOOIIIOIOOO
(I have a digital piano...)

It depends. Often it is "Why doesnt he play me?". But when I do, she says "GET A TEACHER!".

"You're playing THAT song AGAIN[/b]?"

I like the monster analogy

I read once that sarcasm is a form of unexpressed anger. But I dispute this theory. I'm not mad about anything.

Well, maybe just a bit frustrated at my lack of piano skills.

It's all meant in fun, you know that.

Kathleen

My digital would say I love you and my acoustic would say the same. They want to give me the best sounds they can - silly answer..... They know the music I am capable of making that is in my heart and soul... I just have to get better (more practice)... And when I do, they will not fail me. Cute thread, S-H. I do know for a fact (in my mind) that the acoustic is happy, but sadly needs a tuning... which I will get around to do in the next few months. That's about it!

:D

Mine says I miss you and will you pay attention to some of the other keys every once in a while.

go buy a house so we can rock the house all night long, rock the house, rock the house baby, rock the house.

seriously i love to play at night and its better at night, but some neighbors like to sleep, THE NERVE!!!!

Mine would say, "Please! Keep those kids away from me!" My grandson plugs his bass guitar into the piano (it's digital) and plays while his buddy pounds away on the keyboard. Oldest granddaughter puts on the headphones and sits and plays in her own little world for extended periods. When she finally gets up, the 5 yr. old has to play all the games in "Wonderland" complete with all the wonderful Roland sound effects until the complaints start (after 15 min or so of barking dogs, thunder, cymbals, etc., the adults start going batty). I usually entertain the baby (20 mo.) by having him sit on my lap and play the keys. My piano is always covered with fingerprints but then I wouldn't have it any other way.

Hey, funburger, what's the story with your neighbors nowadays? I'm assuming you didn't get evicted. Have you worked out a compromise you can live with?

aha, dont even get me started on that subject......i did take the initiative to end the war, as she was walking by my apartment i said hey i have to apologize to you, because i was so angry with you for complaining about my piano as i always said if it bothered you to let me know, she said i am sorry and ran up the stairs. i have never seen that lady run, shes a bit overwieght. maybe the guilt was getting to her??? anyhow i do miss my night playing and i really really practice from 9-10 but right at 10 i hit my last note. i cant wait to move.....

Agilita: are you sure the piano is not saying: Oh no, not the old oen. Where are the little ones, those with the tickling fingers, I wanna have some fun.

We assume pianos should have noble ambitions of virtuoso solo renditions, the works of old and new masters. But maybe that under the lacquer, veneer, or whatever the material, and that straight and grand appearance, maybe pianos just wanna have fun???
Ok, I need a drink. Counselling maybe? Good thread S-H!
PS: Funburger, listen to your piano, she's not upright, so she must be right! Grand piano need Grandeur!

Mine would say "So Casanova finally returns home :rolleyes: "

(I play a lot of pianos, never the one at home)

Have you given anymore thought to the idea of poisoning her?

ROFL!!!!!!!!!

of course if i say yes then they will know it was me

"Tune me you lazy bum!" - Yamaha T121

Good point.

This was was so fun ...Thank you for the input..Now has anyone ever had an imaginary friend at the piano? I studied so many hours when I was younger mine was Alex and he was a very handsome and kept me company...Chuckles...Sandy B.

I'm not the only one who needs counselling , yippie!

I'm a little tipsy right now. We're having a wine & cheese party at the office.... we're also purging files.... anyway.... I was thinking I think my pianos say something else to me. Here is goes:

Cripes - here she comes. Is she gonna play the same ole carp on me again (both ditigal and acoustic say it individually). Oh, how boring..... with a capital BBBBBBBB. Playing something else - you unimaginative moron. Do it. Express yourself. Come on - be creative - let loose.

Awwww.... (sulking back down) she ain't gonna be creative... she ain't got not great imagination neither - she's just gonna play the same ole junk on us - okay... here we are - play us.

That's what my pianos say to me.

I would like to change that if I could. If I could. If I could.


Edit: Did someone mention counseling? Uh - yup - right this way, Pieter!

This was so much fun to play... and I thank the one who started this,"If my piano could talk." This was so fun...Here is a creative game brought back from a New York school of acting in the early 1990's...
If Rachmaninoff,Wagner,on and on...you choose the composer... from what you hear in their music compositons...If Rachmaninoff were a tree what would it be? A Dog? A color? A bird? A car? on and on ...Same with your best friend concept... Great at a party and with drink or two...Sandy B

I prefer that answer, Sharon!

On a good day, my digital would probably say "thank you for rescuing me from that box in the cold, dark warehouse"

On a bad day, well - you would probably have to ask it yourself, 'cause I ignore what it says!

OK Sandy, I'll Play - if Bach were a tree he would be a weeping willow - growing into every possible space with ever changing branches that somehow are the same and just plain beautiful when finished.......

Mine would say, " Hey I could talk, sucks to be you."

sharon, next time before you drink take some prozac :p i liked your first answer much better, the second one made me sad ah shucks i am sure you will just go back and edit it when you sober up anyways be happy babe, your pianos are

Oh, fun!! Okay... I'll play. Here's something I said to my instructor, when I was comparing various composers:

"To my ear, there are two main 'schools' of music:
1. The School Of Big Thunder: Liszt, Rachmaninoff, Beethoven, Saint-Saens, Prokofiev, etc.

2. The School Of Beautiful Gardens: Chopin, Bach, Handel, Schubert, Pachelbel, Mozart, etc."

She smiled and thought that was a pretty good analogy.

Of the "School of Beautiful Gardens," Bach would be one of those highly-disciplined, perfectly organized Japanese gardens. Every leaf and stone and blade of grass perfectly in place.

Chopin would be something lush... Like a magnificent European garden in the courtyard of a castle.

Beethoven would be a gathering storm and the first growlings of thunder and gusty wind, while Prokofiev and Rachmaninoff would be the full lashing, violent storm with lightning scoring the sky and rain blasting down in a roaring flood!!

(sorry... I get carried away...)

My piano was sat in the same old house for about a hundred years before I got her and was ignored for the majority of that time. Sometimes I think of her as "Sleeping Beauty." The first thing she'd probably have asked on awakening is, "Are you[/b] that evil child [/b]who carved his initials [/b]into my fallboard?"

Awww.... I had a 1917 Cunningham upright with a beautiful walnut finish, but some ignoramus had set a hot mug on the shelf and it had a ring that nothing would get rid of. If that piano came to life, it would sprout legs and go in search of the person who did it, and... I don't know... FALL on them, or something! (OMG... Walking, talking pianos! This thread is turning into nightmare fodder!!)

Euan, FunB - I'm glad you liked my first answers. They are the more truthful answers. The second set came from another head (a drunken head - and not necessarily a clear, honest head). I do think my pianos love me and do like when I play on/with them. Every piano loves to be touched.... I think. It is I putting the thoughts into the pianos head - for - really - the piano cares not what's played on it, just enjoy yourself.... right? (And... that other person... dust it once in a while, hehehehehe)... or blow the dust away!!!!

Happy Saturday!!!!!!!

Mine would say "wish I could control the fallboard...just once!!

Mine would say...."OH NO! it's her again!!..Quick, lock the fall board and throw away the keys!"

They come with a KEY??

No, but it was just wishful thinking from the piano

kawaigirl1 -

I fancy your piano(s) would say - RIGHT ON! HERE SHE COMES. We're gonna play! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!

You have a beautiful touch on the keys... (duh - unless learning a new piece.... then... well, friend piano(s) will just have to endure until "perfection" is achieved.... but again, you have a nice touch.

Have a nice day!

Mine is old enough to actually have a lock but the key of course is long gone. I think the locking the fallboard was supposed to keep kids and servants and ham fisted guests from making free with the family's precious piano.

sharon, i am glad your better now:)

oh yeah, i forgot about my digital, it doesnt talk because everytime i sit down at it i hear from behind me "pssssst, psssssst, over here, play me!play me!!!" then the grand starts to sing. needless to say i cant say no to it. i have no willpower.....the digital has no heart its just there....the grand always calls to me.

ITS ALIVE MY GOLLY ITS ALIVE!!!

gmm1...thank for your input and courage...That is a beautiful description...and I relate...Thank you... If the shoe fits to someone out there ..."People who think they are the most sane often need the most help..." What great thinker said that? Chuckles...Sandy B...Metro Washington DC native...

I listened to mine this morning...and dusted it, a very through job I might say too Can't wait for the wife to get up so I can play it. tip-toeing around and typing VERY VERY quite.

raining...no golf this morn

My Casio is always saying, "I can play that better than you."

I hope that soon, on the Minuet in G at least, my humanness will overcome its soulless technical perfection.

LMAO!!

Ya'll are just too much for me today...

Ok mine would say this...

First a sound like this (Pop, pit, pitume, eee...ee.ee.eeeee...cheeeeeeek...shrieeeeeek...pit a pum, pat a pum...)
then it would finally say..
"AHEM, Ma'am, could you just reach in side and tighten up a few things, and while you are at it, I have something choking me down there.. You might as well send me to the piano doctor too, cause pling, plink, plank, my strings are dusty, maybe rusty, and that felt thing whats left is rubbing me raw.. Oh and the hammer is gone over there, please, I feel exposed enough!
But go ahead keep playing me till I have nothing else not even a tune left.. pit. pume, shrieeek, eeeee"

Thats a lot said by one wise old piano....
Here is a link with some great photos of the old thing...
Pictures of my old piano...

:rolleyes:

tolovemoon, maybe you could buy the old guy a cane put it next to the piano and tell people thats to help the old man dance

your post is cute by the way

She's a good lookin' ol' gal!

Mine would say: " I am 117 years old! MUST you torture me like this?"