Piano World Home Page Forums Our Most Popular Forums Pianist Corner What do you think about while you're playing?

I'm curious to find out what goes through everyone's heads as you play a piece. I want to be clear though on something. There are two kinds of thoughts that go on simultaneously :

1)subconscious perceptive thoughts: these are the thoughts are are between memory and 2nd nature. Like the dynamics or the tone that you know you have to give, but don't really need to pay detailed attention to.

2)Conscious active thoughts: These are the things we say and hear in our heads. Like if you're playing something and you get a cramp and say to yourself "damn that hurts, gotta try and keep it together though...i wonder if anyone noticed?"

So I'm curious about the 2nd type of thoughts. The active ones. I'm sort of between just being blank to playing portions of the piece I'm playing, but in my head. Anyone else?

"Don't screw up! Don't screw up! Don't screw up! Don't screw up!"

If I'm in control of the technique, I'm awash with powerful emotions that threaten to overwhelm me and derail the technique. That's why to be really expressive the piece had better be totally locked in my hands for a performance. Of course, if I'm playing for enjoyment, I take as much time as I need to be as expressive as I wish.

Otherwise, I'm balancing consciously adding as much interest as I can while managing the difficult areas of the piece, leading to a somewhat unsatisfying performance.

So did you screw up?

That information is restricted.

Besides that , once I've learned the notes, my thoughts are fully focused on what I am playing and what I am about to play in terms of emotions, phrasing, articulation, rubato and dynamics. I've got a "story" to tell and there is so much to focus on, I don't seem to have room in my head for random thoughts. I can focus like this for a long time provided I am alone and the house is quiet. On the rare occasions when I use a practice room, (summer piano camp), I can go like this for hours.

(Unfortunately, most of my practice time takes place right in the middle of my home with dogs barking, doorbells ringing, husbands needing attention, phones jingling, oven timers beeping, washing machines finishing their cycle, sons coming in the door, etc. Then I lose focus, throw up my hands in frustration and find something else to do for a while.)

There's not a lot of room in there. I hear mostly just the melody, maybe slightly ahead of time, and sense the tempo or rhythm..again as a staggered concept. Anything additional must be a mental cue, such as "don't forget to make this section sing/brood etc."

It's better to feel than to think, I think.

I would add to the end of this:

"#$(*%#&@()#$#*$#(*#$ ..... Don't screw up again! Don't screw up again! Don't..."

It's different depending on whether I'm playing at home for myself, or whether I'm playing for an audience or making a recording.

If I'm 'performing' for myself, I'll experiment with all sorts of tone color and voicing, and even tempi and dynamic variations, to see what ideas I can come up with.

If I'm playing for an audience, the spontaneity (but not experimentation) is spiced with a dash of adrenaline: I go for maximum impact to give a real 'performance' that will (hopefully) draw the audience in. Therefore, I'll be thinking positive thoughts, like how lovely the melody and/or harmony is, or how interesting the figuration. Fast pieces or sections will likely be slightly faster and more 'dangerous'; slow pieces might be slower and more consciously expressive. Wrong notes have long ago stopped bothering me - and in any case, I don't play for critics or do any more exams - which helps my playing, as negative thoughts rarely enter my head. (I play for an audience only because I want to, and enjoy it - which also means that I only play what I want to play).

The worst thing that can happen when I'm performing is to bore the audience......

Mine's more like "wow that sounded bad, wow that sounded bad, wow that sounded bad"

Am I the only one going "This is going GREAT! Take that previous performer/competitor/pianist".

Am I also insane like that?

If I am competing, I have a very strong/positive mindset. I've always believed that, if you're going to compete, you have to believe you can win. If you enter a competition you don't think you can win, you've wasted your time (and possibly your money).

I'm highly competitive by nature, but if I'm just playing in general, my mindset is very different.

I try to think of note values and chords.

I'm feel I'm constantly fighting the adrenaline and the shaking of my hand. Otherwise I typical find my thoughts completely unmemorable with the exception of when I'm counting a passage. This Friday I had a very disconcerting moment where I looked up from the piano(something I almost never do) and I saw my teacher had just sort of appeared on that sided of the hall( I didn't hear him come in.). That surprise really threw my concentration.

You know something, I get that too sometimes. I almost feel like it warrants a separate thread, but I sometimes get uncontrollable shaky hands too. The problem is that it's never consistent. Sometimes I play for a group of people or a friend of mind and i'm perfectly fine. Other times I'll play for another friend and my hands are ready to shake themselves loose from the wrists. I still can't pinpoint why it happens in some situations and not in others. Even in the most casual and laid back situations in my own home, it comes and goes...

I don't "think" as I play...I "feel" when I play. If I allow myself to disengage from "feeling" into active thought, my mind quickly starts with the dialogue "don't screw up, don't screw up...", as Polyphonist referred to (and cracked me up!) or "Oh no, where am I?" or in the case of playing for others, "What are they thinking?" All of which are simply noise and detract from my playing.

Like Deborah said, I, too, am able to completely immerse/submerge myself into my music as long as there aren't any distractions. Since I live with four animals, I may get distracted occasionally, but not very often. Without looking at a clock, I can easily play for hours without noticing the passage of time.

The worst for me, however, is if I host or play in a recital and there is talking among the attendees. I get angry and stop playing altogether. I've learned who to invite, so that hasn't happened in a long time.

Unfortunately, for me it's quite a regular occurrence. God forbid I'm playing light passage work at a speedy tempo.

If I find there is some section where I'm having trouble paying attention to the music, I change the way I'm playing it so it's more interesting.

If I can't pay attention, being the one playing it, then how can the audience pay attention!

Isn't it disturbing when you realize you haven't even been paying attention? Sometimes I realize I'm thinking about a shopping list or something that happened at work...

5 pages into Chopin's 4th ballade..."damn I forgot to add a dozen eggs to the list, and my friend is already getting the ingredients for that cake we gotta make....oh well, at least this Bach fugue is sounding pretty goo....oooh damn..."