A contest tailor-made for us

Posted by: RealPlayer

A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 01:08 AM

Each week The New Yorker magazine has a contest wherein readers are asked to provide captions for a cartoon. This week's is particularly relevant to us pianists. Put on your thinking caps!

(I was trying to find a way to paste the actual cartoon into this message, but couldn't. Maybe one of you talented folks can.)

New Yorker cartoon
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 01:23 AM

I never get most of those even WITH captions. ha

But lemme try my hand anyway....

Let's see, which one is "the Horowitz piano"....
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 01:27 AM

Let's see if this attempt to copy/paste the cartoon works (never did this successfully before)....


Posted by: AJF

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 02:14 AM

"I'm quite certain this is NOT what Mr. Higgins meant when he asked you to put ten grand into the room." smile
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 03:05 AM

Originally Posted By: AJF
"I'm quite certain this is NOT what Mr. Higgins meant when he asked you to put ten grand into the room." smile

dam good smile
Posted by: Rich Galassini

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 05:42 AM

"I know I didn't tell you how many of them there were, but that is why they are called the Five Browns!"
Posted by: Furtwangler

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 06:12 AM

"I'll take the black one"
Posted by: EJR

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 06:35 AM

"Their just like buses, no pianos for months then seven turn up at once..."
Posted by: Ken Knapp

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 07:37 AM

There were only two when I turned the lights out last night.

Ken
Posted by: Ori

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 08:22 AM

It was difficult to decide, so the dealer delivered my first 8 choices..., so the dealer delivered my first 8 choices...

Or….

I bought these as an investment, the salesperson said they’ll appreciate significantly…

Or….

There was a huge sale on these, I got them at 10% off the MSRP…
Posted by: peejay

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 08:51 AM

"Every year we have another Grand opening."
Posted by: Piano*Dad

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 09:07 AM

Originally Posted By: AJF
"I'm quite certain this is NOT what Mr. Higgins meant when he asked you to put ten grand into the room." smile


ding, ding, ding, we've got a potential winner here! grin
Posted by: Steve Cohen

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 09:24 AM

"If you buy one of each, we gift wrap".
Posted by: lilylady

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 09:42 AM

I spit coffee on my keyboard reading your captions! Too funny!

I have one. Sent it privately but what the heck, I'll share!

"Where's Ori when we need him?"

(But of course one needs to see Ori's showroom pianos all lined up perfectly to understand the humor in that!)

Smile, Ori!!!
Posted by: marimorimo

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 10:55 AM

Originally Posted By: AJF
"I'm quite certain this is NOT what Mr. Higgins meant when he asked you to put ten grand into the room." smile


All the captions were great, but I love this one the best!

Has it been submitted properly to the New Yorker yet?
Posted by: Piano World

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 11:01 AM

"And this is the Grand Ballroom"



"I said Baldwin APPLES you idiot!"

Posted by: Eric Gloo

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 11:29 AM

"They're having a bit of trouble with the dosey doe."
Posted by: apple*

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 11:48 AM

that's brilliant AJF

i thought the yawning maws needed another customer
Posted by: turandot

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 12:05 PM

Well, the confirmation screen didn't come up, so I kept re-submitting the order.

Thanks for sharing, Joe.
Posted by: EltonRach

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 12:06 PM

"Isn't this grand?"
Posted by: EJR

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 12:14 PM

"I dunno, which is the odd one out?..."
Posted by: Little_Blue_Engine

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 12:27 PM

"The gentleman in our ordering department used to work for Henry Ford."
Posted by: moscheles001

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 12:28 PM

Originally Posted By: Eric Gloo
"They're having a bit of trouble with the dosey doe."


This had me laughing out loud.

My own feeble attempt:

"I know it's a little disgusting, but sniffing each other's butt is how they get to know each other."
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 12:40 PM

Originally Posted By: Steve Cohen
"If you buy one of each, we gift wrap".

LOL!
You're thinking this is a sales showroom (I did too), some others are thinking a home.
Hmmm...Lemme go back and take another look........
Either way I guess.
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 12:42 PM

Originally Posted By: moscheles001
Originally Posted By: Eric Gloo
"They're having a bit of trouble with the dosey doe."


This had me laughing out loud.

OK -- can somebody please explain this one? smile

(edit: Oh.....the pianos are square dancing.) ha
Sorry. smile
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 12:45 PM

Originally Posted By: Ori
I bought these as an investment, the salesperson said they’ll appreciate significantly…

I think this one gets the award for "Piano World topicality."
Posted by: moscheles001

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 12:48 PM

"The western plains used to be home to tens of thousands of them, but because of the railroads, this is the last of the herd."
Posted by: mdsdurango

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 12:51 PM

Originally Posted By: turandot
Well, the confirmation screen didn't come up, so I kept re-submitting the order.


thumb
Posted by: moscheles001

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 12:54 PM

Originally Posted By: mdsdurango
Originally Posted By: turandot
Well, the confirmation screen didn't come up, so I kept re-submitting the order.


thumb


I second that thumb.
Posted by: pianobroker

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 01:06 PM

1."How come there are no price tags"

2."Let me do all the talking,honey,Now where is that salesman"

3."They sure got alot of pianos left"They've been going out of biz for a year now.

4." Do they sell sheet music here"

5. "Costco got a better selection than this"

6."Honey,but nobody plays"

7." Do you think they'll meet Costco's price"

8." It's like a morgue in here"

9. " Can't we just get them a digital"

10. Didn't I buy my car from that guy ?

11. "Now which one did the interior decorator like"

12. "How did they get all these in here"

13. "I've always wanted one of these black shiney ones"

14. "Wouldn't you rather have that jacuzzi"

Last but not least!

"Honey,Just because the Jones have a Steinway doesn't mean we have to get one too."


Posted by: RealPlayer

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 01:33 PM

"I had to get them all...they were shrink-wrapped together at Costco."
Posted by: EJR

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 01:38 PM

" and this is our nest of pianodactyls and boy are they hungry! Hopefullly, the mother will be back to feed them soon. They live on a staple diet of guitarists, we'll watch as they tear one limb from limb, its not a pretty sight though...."
Posted by: Numerian

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 01:45 PM

"We're an All Steinway School now. All our practice rooms look like this."

"I'm beginning to wonder if our new return policy is a bit too favorable for the customers."

"I suppose it's okay to put all the factory rejects in one place - just don't tell the customers!"

"And these are the ones no longer eligible for floor financing."

"Maybe we can list them on Overstock.com."
Posted by: EJR

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 01:51 PM

I think the artists name is Stubbs, I saw his display of Bricks at the Tate, but I much prefer this, the didactic interplay of black on white, that said, I prefer his Ink Blots screen prints you can see hanging over there..."
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 01:54 PM

Originally Posted By: moscheles001
"The western plains used to be home to tens of thousands of them, but because of the railroads, this is the last of the herd."

Made me laugh the most. ha
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 01:57 PM

Originally Posted By: pianobroker
1."How come there are no price tags"
2."Let me do all the talking,honey,Now where is that salesman"
3."They sure got alot of pianos left"They've been going out of biz for a year now.
4." Do they sell sheet music here"
5. "Costco got a better selection than this"
6."Honey,but nobody plays"
7." Do you think they'll meet Costco's price"
8." It's like a morgue in here"
9. " Can't we just get them a digital"
10. Didn't I buy my car from that guy ?
11. "Now which one did the interior decorator like"
12. "How did they get all these in here"
13. "I've always wanted one of these black shiney ones"
14. "Wouldn't you rather have that jacuzzi"

Last but not least!

"Honey,Just because the Jones have a Steinway doesn't mean we have to get one too."

Stop, you're killing me! smile
Posted by: EJR

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 03:29 PM

"When I said, organise a recital with seven pianists, did I have to say they'd use the SAME goddam piano!!???"
Posted by: EJR

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 04:01 PM

Yeh, now that Santas getting on and going slightly dotty, we've had to name each of his pianos the same as the reindeer, So there's Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen
Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen & Rudolf is just around the corner"
Posted by: EJR

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 04:09 PM

"I'm sorry, but to appear on America's Got Talent I'm afraid Oscar the Octopus just has to be human..."
Posted by: EJR

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 04:31 PM

"I'm sorry Mr Mayor, but the intern who arranged the meeting with representatives of the NYPD thought the 'P' stood for Piano"
Posted by: EJR

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 04:35 PM

"..But Doctor how will the world cope with shape-shifting Daleks ?"
Posted by: EJR

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 04:42 PM

"It's the worst case of Grey Market Piano Smuggling we've ever seen, how the poor courier manages to swallow one, let alone all of them before splitting open I'll never know...."
Posted by: moscheles001

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 04:53 PM

"They say they're going to occupy the building until Larry Fine moves them back to Tier 1."
Posted by: MPP

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 06:26 PM

"OH No!" Tell the decorator that "primo Piano" means first floor in Italian!
Posted by: Gregl

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 07:06 PM

Lets cull one from the herd
Posted by: piqué

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 08:31 PM

"what time does the football game get out?"
Posted by: piqué

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 08:33 PM

Originally Posted By: MarkCannon
Originally Posted By: moscheles001
"The western plains used to be home to tens of thousands of them, but because of the railroads, this is the last of the herd."

Made me laugh the most. ha


me too. laugh
Posted by: -Frycek

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 08:37 PM

They always do that before a storm.

Is this the Steinway bar mitzvah?
Posted by: AJF

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 08:48 PM

Turandot gets my vote for 'new yorker viability'
Posted by: Monica K.

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 08:52 PM

I dunno, AJF... yours was pretty good, too. I think you and turandot both should send your captions in to the contest. thumb
Posted by: j&j

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 08:52 PM

One of Andy Warhol's lesser known works.
Posted by: Monica K.

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 08:54 PM

Here's my 13 year old daughter's suggestion:

"You couldn't collect anything smaller, like coins?"
Posted by: plumpfingers

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 09:25 PM

Funny how they all know it's feeding time.
Posted by: AJF

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 09:39 PM

Originally Posted By: Monica K.
Here's my 13 year old daughter's suggestion:

"You couldn't collect anything smaller, like coins?"


that's great! And that's one sharp 13 y/o
Posted by: Rod Verhnjak

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 11:19 PM

Originally Posted By: moscheles001
"They say they're going to occupy the building until Larry Fine moves them back to Tier 1."


thumb
Posted by: Rod Verhnjak

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 11:29 PM

Ya think we should have given the movers the beer after they unloaded?
Posted by: marimorimo

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 11:30 PM

Originally Posted By: moscheles001
"They say they're going to occupy the building until Larry Fine moves them back to Tier 1."


I love this too! laugh But I think only the pianophiles will get this frown
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 11:43 PM

Originally Posted By: -Frycek
Is this the Steinway bar mitzvah?

TIED for making me laugh the most. smile
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 11:45 PM

Originally Posted By: AJF
Originally Posted By: Monica K.
Here's my 13 year old daughter's suggestion:

"You couldn't collect anything smaller, like coins?"


that's great! And that's one sharp 13 y/o

+1
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/05/09 11:46 PM

Originally Posted By: marimorimo
Originally Posted By: moscheles001
"They say they're going to occupy the building until Larry Fine moves them back to Tier 1."

I love this too! laugh But I think only the pianophiles will get this frown

I wouldn't have till I joined here last month.
I mighta thought it was about "The 3 Stooges." smile
Posted by: marimorimo

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/06/09 12:01 AM

My own feeble attempt:

"The late Mr. Jenkins had inadequacy issues about his instrument."
Posted by: sleepingcats

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/06/09 12:51 AM

1. "You want me to tune all of these today?!"


2. "All women need a little black number in their closet."


3. "OctoMom called about the pianos -- she'd like to know the delivery date."


4. "These traps are huge! Just how big are your mice??"


5. "It looks like the medication is working -- they're starting to open up to me."
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/06/09 02:43 AM

Originally Posted By: sleepingcats
"OctoMom called about the pianos -- she'd like to know the delivery date."

Cool! -- some "popular culture" smile
Posted by: Richard Bushey

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/23/09 03:56 PM

What is this? Grand Central Station!
Posted by: John Chan

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/23/09 08:45 PM

Pretty sure the New Yorker won't publish this one:

"I TOLD you to order from Hamburg, not New York! How are we supposed to sell any of them?"
Posted by: Piano Again

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/23/09 09:03 PM

The three finalists:

"Well, where did you think baby grands came from?"

"We buy everything in bulk."

"I don't play. I just really hate elephants."

(This last one is really bad. Some of you came up with much better ones, IMO.)
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/23/09 10:33 PM

Originally Posted By: Piano Again
The three finalists:

"Well, where did you think baby grands came from?"

"We buy everything in bulk."

"I don't play. I just really hate elephants."

(This last one is really bad. Some of you came up with much better ones, IMO.)

In my extremely humble opinion almost all of ours were better than any of those, even mine. smile

And several were spectacularly better than any of those three.
Posted by: RealPlayer

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/23/09 11:59 PM

Originally Posted By: MarkCannon

In my extremely humble opinion almost all of ours were better than any of those, even mine. smile

And several were spectacularly better than any of those three.


I completely agree with you and Piano Again. Did you PW folks send your captions in?
Posted by: AJF

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/24/09 12:20 AM

I sent mine in. I was a little bummed when i saw the ones they picked. It was like hmm, am i missing something? I guess there's no accounting for taste smile
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/24/09 12:21 AM

Originally Posted By: RealPlayer
Originally Posted By: MarkCannon

In my extremely humble opinion almost all of ours were better than any of those, even mine. smile

And several were spectacularly better than any of those three.


I completely agree with you and Piano Again. Did you PW folks send your captions in?

I didn't send mine in, because I don't want fame. ha

Also because many of the others here were much better.
Posted by: moscheles001

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/24/09 09:31 AM

Those are terrible. The New Yorker I remember was a very witty magazine. Further proof of the decline of western civilization.
Posted by: -Frycek

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/24/09 10:25 AM

Maybe someone should set up a poll so we could vote on ours, establish our own winner?
Posted by: Piano Again

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/24/09 10:53 AM

I've heard the cartoonists all hate this contest. I've noticed the drawings for it are all pretty bizarre -- like from the bottom of the reject pile.

I think it's just a way to get more people on the mailing list and to bring eyeballs to the website.

My caption, btw:

"Steinways are a better investment right now."
Posted by: Piano World

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/24/09 11:04 AM

I think someone should point out this thread to them.

Many of the captions you folks suggested are much better than those they picked.
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/24/09 01:45 PM

Originally Posted By: moscheles001
Those are terrible.....

Agree totally.

Quote:
....The New Yorker I remember was a very witty magazine....

It was? I could never tell because I never "got" their stuff. ha

Well I guess I did get it once.....

There was a cartoon with this guy sitting in a doctor's consultation room, and the doctor is talking to him, only the doctor is a cat. And the doctor says:

"I'm ordering a CAT scan."

I did get that one.
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/24/09 01:46 PM

Originally Posted By: Piano World
I think someone should point out this thread to them.

Many of the captions you folks suggested are much better than those they picked.

I think it's a fair statement that none are worse. smile
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/24/09 01:47 PM

Originally Posted By: Piano Again
I've heard the cartoonists all hate this contest. I've noticed the drawings for it are all pretty bizarre -- like from the bottom of the reject pile.

I think it's just a way to get more people on the mailing list and to bring eyeballs to the website......

Somehow that last thing reminds me of a recent piano contest..... ha
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/24/09 01:49 PM

Originally Posted By: -Frycek
Maybe someone should set up a poll so we could vote on ours, establish our own winner?

Love the idea!
Let's do it!

(Do it! Do it!)
Posted by: Dan Wilson

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/24/09 09:39 PM

I'm thinking that the folks at the New Yorker probably don't get piano humor. They probably don't even have a piano. (maybe just a small organ!) Oops! That one slipped!
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/24/09 10:12 PM

Originally Posted By: Dan Wilson
I'm thinking that the folks at the New Yorker probably don't get piano humor. They probably don't even have a piano. (maybe just a small organ!) Oops! That one slipped!

I think in this case we need a cartoon to match the line. smile
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/24/09 10:26 PM

BTW.....I think you're the only PW member who has his own baseball card. smile
Posted by: Larry Larson

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/25/09 07:39 AM

"We just never anticipated such a huge response to our "Cash For Clinkers" promotion"
Posted by: ChrisKeys

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/25/09 09:26 AM

Originally Posted By: AJF
I sent mine in. I was a little bummed when i saw the ones they picked. It was like hmm, am i missing something? I guess there's no accounting for taste smile

I agree. I think yours should have won. Runner-up should have been the one about the "last of the herd." The actual three final entries were all inferior to the ones folks posted here (IMO).

Chris
Posted by: ProdigalPianist

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/25/09 01:04 PM

"They're just S's right now, but in a few weeks, when we take them out of the brooder, they'll be B's"
Posted by: moscheles001

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/26/09 01:48 PM

What's depressing is that Charles Cooke wrote "Playing the Piano for Pleasure" while he wrote for The New Yorker. Those were the days, I guess.
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/26/09 03:44 PM

An old favorite book of mine.....influenced me quite a bit.
If anyone's interested smile ....I have a fond 'review' of it on the Amazon page.
Posted by: djtoast

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/26/09 09:10 PM

my effort. it's late, best i can do:

"find the corners first... now show me the front of the box again?"
Posted by: Monica K.

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/27/09 02:18 PM

Obviously the editors who picked the finalists aren't pianists. I don't even get the caption about the elephants. confused
Posted by: Piano Again

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/27/09 02:31 PM

Originally Posted By: Monica K.
Obviously the editors who picked the finalists aren't pianists. I don't even get the caption about the elephants. confused


Ivories ... elephants ... get it? Ha ha.
Posted by: Monica K.

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/27/09 02:35 PM

[Light bulb goes on] Oh! I get it now, thanks. It still ain't funny. bah
Posted by: -Frycek

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/27/09 03:21 PM

I got it. A variation of this is a cartoon pictuing a queasy looking elephant in a tux steated at the piano and thinking "these keys look vaguely familiar - - "
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/27/09 03:24 PM

Originally Posted By: Piano Again

Ivories ... elephants ... get it? Ha ha.

Aha!!!!!! ha

(I didn't get it either.)

P.S. Please pardon this brief "OT".....I was looking for a place to tell you this. The other day I found the page with all the Chopin "e-cital" recordings and listened to a couple of yours. I enjoyed and appreciated them greatly -- you play beautifully! And I must say I got an extra smile over the fact that you played the "Cello" etude (of course, who else to do it). smile
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/27/09 03:26 PM

Originally Posted By: Monica K.
[Light bulb goes on] Oh! I get it now, thanks. It still ain't funny. bah

+1 smile
Posted by: Piano Again

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/27/09 05:41 PM

Originally Posted By: MarkCannon
Originally Posted By: Piano Again

Ivories ... elephants ... get it? Ha ha.

Aha!!!!!! ha

(I didn't get it either.)

P.S. Please pardon this brief "OT".....I was looking for a place to tell you this. The other day I found the page with all the Chopin "e-cital" recordings and listened to a couple of yours. I enjoyed and appreciated them greatly -- you play beautifully! And I must say I got an extra smile over the fact that you played the "Cello" etude (of course, who else to do it). smile


Thank you! You know, I didn't know it was called the "cello" etude until after I started working on it. I chose it because I thought I had a reasonable chance of learning it within the time frame for the recital.

If you want to comment on the recital, I'm sure if you do so on the thread devoted to it that's pinned at the top of the forum people will appreciate it.
Posted by: Mark_C

Re: A contest tailor-made for us - 12/27/09 06:09 PM

I will -- and in fact I'm planning to do a post thanking all the players (especially the ones whose names I recognized) for their contributions.