All right, then, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, mesdames et messieurs....
Monday it shall be. That gives me the weekend to assemble my thoughts!

Since this is the Adult Beginners forum, and we're dealing with a rather non-interactive medium here, I am going to make a few assumptions:
1. Everyone here already knows how to read notes (treble and bass clefs) and note values (I will only use the US style of nomenclature -- no semiquavers or breves).
2. The scope of the lessons (I am somewhat uncomfortable with that term, but I can't think of a better alternative) will be limited to nothing beyond what I would consider first-year college theory.
3. The main points will devolve around the musical practices of the "classical" tradition dating from about 1650 to 1880. We may discuss other styles of Western music, but only in terms of how they relate to the above.
4. I will attempt to use graphical representations of concepts where other means are impractical. (For example, I can't verbally describe a figured bass exercise.) My ISP is going to kill me!
5. Each lesson will be assigned a level as part of the thread's title (I, II, III, IV) from basic (I) to more advanced (IV). I will attempt to rotate through the various levels as regularly as possible. I'd like to do this so that this doesn't turn into a "course" in some kind of linear fashion. I know that's best for each student individually, but everyone here is starting at a different level of proficiency. I'm hoping that this way, people of varying levels can all glean something useful from each lesson. If a lesson is over your head, print it out and save it for later when you have the experience behind you to grasp the content. If a lesson is beneath your level, then go read the posts in the Coffee Room!
6. I accept suggestions and criticism graciously, and I've never heard a "dumb" question about music theory. If you have a question, just ask (PM me if you don't think it applies to anyone but you), and if you don't think I'm doing a good job, let me know how you think I can improve.
7. None of the lessons should be construed as a substitute for theory study with a real, live teacher. As I've said before, self-study robs you of the opportunity to ask "why," and while I can answer a lot of questions here, the interaction is a little too slow for most people's brains.
8. If I'm up to speed, I will announce the following week's lesson subject at the end of each lesson.
So, with all of that out of the way, here's Monday's theory topic:

SCALES -- I'm neither a fish nor overweight, so why should I care? (I)[/b]