Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders.

Posted by: Rickster

Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/22/09 10:44 PM

Hi All,

I got a comment on one of my YouTube piano videos that said they liked my piano playing but not my singing. Should I stop trying to sing and just play the piano? I know I’m not that good at either, but when somebody flat-out tells you they don’t like your playing or singing, that smarts a little. I don't know, maybe I’m spoiled from all the positive complements that I get from other members of this great forum and my friends and relatives. Or, maybe my playing and singing really does stink altogether and no one has had the courage to tell me (except the guy on YouTube).

I don’t mind constructive criticism when there is something positive to be gained that can be used to make improvements but to be told point-blank they don’t like your musical endeavors (or at least a portion of it) kind of stings a little.

Okay, thanks for listening. I feel better now \:\) . I guess it just goes to show that there is a lot of truth to the old saying that “you can please all the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can’t please all the people all the time”. \:\)

Take care, (and don’t let anyone discourage you from learning, improving and enjoying your music )

Rick
Posted by: NancyM333

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/22/09 11:07 PM

Rick--I see totally ridiculous comments on YouTube. Some of those people must stay up late every night trying to think of rude things to say, and I think a lot of forums and blog comments are like that too. I guess we live in a bubble here on the ABF. You continue doing whatever you want to do and try not to pay attention to the comments. Clearly, their only real talent is being negative, so they are looking for an opportunity to showcase that. I think the best thing is never to respond; it only lets them know they've hit their mark and can pile it on more.

Nancy
Posted by: Dave123

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/22/09 11:12 PM

If you go to other you tube video's done by different people you will always see some bonehead making a comment and some of them are pretty ignorant in what they say. I often visit members of PW who have posted on you tube and file download sites, including yours and I enjoy them immensely even though I rarely make any comments. If you want to sing go for it if you just want to play go for it or a combination of the two.
Posted by: Rickster

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/22/09 11:17 PM

Thanks, Nancy and Dave.

And, ditto on the statement about the ABF and the bubble; but the bubble (ABF) is indeed a nice, friendly place to be compared to a cold, cruel world out there (YouTube \:\) ).

Take care,

Rick
Posted by: rocket88

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/22/09 11:52 PM

Rick, you are going to get that no matter what you do or say...(or play).

Especially in this computer environment where people can hide under their desks behind their computers and lob insults at folks who are brave enough to put their stuff out there...insults that they would never have the nerve to say to you face to face.

I have been playing blues and boogie-woogie music professionally since 1973, and have come to regard input in the following way:

If someone is a recognized expert in the field that they are commenting upon, then I will take their input and see if there is any truth to it, and adjust myself accordingly, if possible.

(Sometimes there is truth to what those folks say, but sometimes they are protecting their own turf, and putting down the competition).

If someone is a drunk in a bar (where I play the blues all the time), their input has very little value.

If someone has nothing positive to say, and they are not a accomplished performer, then I assume that they are a frustrated person lashing out at someone who actually is doing something.

Bottom line...if you put yourself out there, people will praise you, others will criticize you, and most will just walk on by, ignoring you.

The only thing you can do is develop a think skin, which I am still working on!!

What I do do is keep a log in my heart of postive comments that more accomplished people have said about me, who's input, due to their more accomplished stature, actually means something.

Their input is golden, and is a perfect antidote to any and all unconstructive criticism.

ps...I like your music...don't stop!

pps...Ask those folks how they would compare your singing to that of Howling Wolf, whose voice is a hard-to-describe mix of sandpaper, growling, etc, and nevertheless is a blues great. (I met him shortly before he died...a very gracious man.)

Here is a clip of Chester Arthur Burnett aka "The Howling Wolf":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ou-6A3MKow&feature=related
Posted by: AnotherSchmoe

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 12:47 AM

Rickster, you can't let clowns like that get you down. Being able to play the piano *at all* is an accomplishment in itself, this is the "king of instruments" after all! Add to that the fact that you are singing *and* playing simultaneously, I just don't know how you do that! Give yourself a big pat on the back and ignore what internet-trolls have to say. I doubt most of them could play so much as Mary Had a Little Lamb if asked to do so.

Anyways, the bottom line is, just do what you enjoy and be happy in the knowledge that you *are* doing it and doing it well. That's my 2 cents anyways. \:\)
Posted by: TrapperJohn

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 06:03 AM

Rickster - even Pavarotti had his critics - forget about it - keep on playing and singing - the only critic who really matters is you - if you like what you're doing and are having lots of fun why should you care at all what some illiterate, thoughtless moron on YT says?

You're musical efforts are always enjoyable

Regards, JF
Posted by: PhysicsTeacher

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 06:03 AM

As a teacher, I get my share of criticism from parents, teachers, and students. There always seems to be a better way to teach, albeit few are willing to step into my classroom and show me that better way. Performing in any capacity is the same way. How many of us overweight, lethargic, Sunday afternoon quarterbacks sit around and tell ripped 250lb men how to play football? It is natural. The greats are those who rise above the criticism and it is also part of the reason that many of the greats, in anything field, develop those arrogant/holier than though attitudes. In many cases, if they did not, they would be eaten up inside by their detractors.

In the spirit of Albert Einstein, it is all relative. Remember, you are opening yourself up to everyone in the world with a computer. They are comparing you not to me or the average Joe trying to learn how to play. You are being compared to the greatest performers of all times. When they say your singing is not up to par, they are comparing you to the George Straits and Garth Brookes of the world. Or in my generation, Charlie Prides and Johnny Cashs. Compared to these folks, you probably do have a ways to go.

But compared to me and most people, you are way ahead of the game. So I am with the others, shrug it off, keep doing what you enjoy doing, and keep getting better. I appreciate your music and your effort. Many of us aspire to play as well as you do and most of us know we will never sing as well as you do.
Posted by: FormerFF

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 08:12 AM

Please don't stop singing. I think you have a good voice and it goes particularly well with the style of music that you're playing.
Posted by: supersport

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 08:41 AM

Hi Rickster,

Nice playing, nice singing, keep it up. I enjoy your music.
Posted by: Peyton

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 08:44 AM

Rick,

I think it just goes with the territory. Especially YouTube. Not everyone knows how to give "constructive critisism" and some are just plain out to hurt your feelings and/or be rude. As a fellow singer and song writer who has had his share of "pans" I hope you keep at it.

Actually, you know you will keep at it, it's in your blood. \:\)
Posted by: Triryche

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 09:19 AM

There is much adolescence on youtube, regards of their real age.
If you enjoy doing it, who care’s what some anonymous knucklehead says?
I wonder how many videos the knucklehead has posted of his/herself!!

I think it is awesome when people share their talents so openly.


 Quote:
Originally posted by Peyton:
Actually, you know you will keep at it, it's in your blood. \:\) [/b]
What he said!!
Posted by: -Frycek

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 09:58 AM

We live in a "put down raise myself up by stepping on you" society. It's how cretins get to feel good about themselves. If every pianist/singer that got a cheap shot aimed at him stopped playing/singing we'd never hear a peep out of anyone and that would be a real shame. Keep on singing and playing!
Posted by: Rickster

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 09:59 AM

Wow! I never realized I would get such gracious, articulate, professional, courteous, kind, sensible, and fantastic comments regarding my thread. All you folks are better than a paid therapist… how much do I owe you all? \:D Not only that, but everything you all had to say is so true and shows a great deal of wisdom.

Now I feel guilty for spending so much time on the piano forum; this is the best forum on all of PW.

In all honesty, I do have a tendency to wear my feelings on my shoulders to an extent. I wish I didn’t but there are some things about us that we can’t simply alter or change in the snap of a finger. We all know our own strengths and weaknesses deep down in our heart. Sometimes, over time, we can improve/strengthen our weaknesses just like we can improve on our piano playing (and singing ;\) ) if we work at it.

I’m going to permanently document these comments in my heart and mind and keep on attempting to play the piano and sing… after all, it’s in my blood. \:\)

Many thanks to all…

Best regards,

Rick
Posted by: Monica K.

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 10:00 AM

I like your singing, rickster. \:\)

I've learned through 21 years of handing out teacher evaluations that you really can't please everybody. I'll have some students in a class write that I'm the best professor they've ever had and have inspired them to choose psychology as a career... when other students in the exact same class, receiving the exact same teaching, say I'm horrible. Go figure. It used to bother me but now I realize that it's to be expected, and I just try to live up to my own standards.

...and I think this would be a most excellent time for you to record and post "Garden Party" with the immortal chorus of "But it's all right now/ I learned my lesson well./ You see, ya can't please everyone/ so ya got to please yourself." \:D
Posted by: bluekeys

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 10:01 AM

Rickvis... er, Rickster,
Keep singing. For your style of music it makes your videos much more entertaining. I wish I could sing as well as you (or play for that matter). Keep 'em coming. They are both fun and instructional.
Posted by: IrishMak

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 10:07 AM

Rick-

No matter who you are, there is going to be someone out there who does not like your singing. As someone above said, there are those who didn't particularly like Pavarotti's voice. Count me as one of them, actually. But the man had talent, no denying that. If someone says they don't like your singing, it doesn't mean you "can't" or "shouldn't" sing, just that your particular vocal timbre or style does not appeal to that one person. And they are just that, one person. Don't worry about it, don't dwell on it. Don't try to "make" them like your singing, or change. Play and sing for those who do enjoy what you do. Those who don't can find someone else to listen to- there's plenty out there.
Posted by: mdsdurango

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 10:14 AM

Rick, are you really considering quitting your day job for a music career?


Mike
Posted by: Boira

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 11:01 AM

The best way to be happy in this world is to develop some sort of rude people-blindness. Just ignore them, don't "see" them.
Internet allows that kind of behaviour where people post comments totally out of place because of some people's sense of anonimity.
Just ignore them.
Posted by: Rickster

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 11:16 AM

 Quote:
Rick, are you really considering quitting your day job for a music career?


Mike
No, but when I emailed some of my YouTube music videos to my boss at work he emailed me back and asked me if I was going to quit my job and move to Nashville. \:D

Thanks for the comments, All!! \:\)

Take care,

Rick
Posted by: Larisa

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 12:42 PM

One of the things you might want to do, as therapy, is look up a Youtube video of a performer you really admire, and look at those Youtube comments. I really like Evgeni Kissin, and when I saw one of his Youtube videos, quite a few of the commenters were picking on some (imagined) wrong notes, criticizing his playing for all sorts of reasons, and making all sorts of dumb comments. It's really helpful in realizing just how silly some of the Youtube commenters are, and how un-seriously you should take them.
Posted by: Oxfords Gal

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 01:41 PM

Rickster,

Your first mistake was to even consider youtube as a viable source of criticism. Youtube is full of kids, idiots, people who just like to mock anything.

I wouldn't give it a second thought.

Continue playing and singing. You do both extremely well.
Posted by: ted.stanion

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 01:42 PM

This pretty much sums up my view on the general quality of YouTube comments.

Ted

Posted by: keyboardklutz

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 01:47 PM

Ho, ho, ho, that's so funny. I thought your playing was great when I listened last year. I no longer know where your youtube channel is though. How do I share in the singing?
Posted by: mdsdurango

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/23/09 06:56 PM

Ted - THAT is funny!
And so very true!
Posted by: Horowitzian

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/24/09 12:04 AM





You made my day! ;\)

That is so true. YT comments are certain to induce groaning. :rolleyes:
Posted by: saerra

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/24/09 11:20 AM

\:\) Rick, count me among your fans!

I have to remind myself that very often how people respond to something says more about THEM then the person/thing they are responding to.

Keep doing your thing, and having FUN!
Posted by: Rickster

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/24/09 05:19 PM

Hey Peyton, you were right… it’s in my blood. \:\)

Thanks for the comments, All. In all honesty, I do feel better. Here’s some evidence of that fact. \:\)

Take care,

Rick

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nkCVR6bZqs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=812NyEs6hvs
Posted by: TrapperJohn

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/24/09 05:59 PM

Rickster - good rockin' job on those two "oldies but not moldies" - haven't heard those two little gems in years - thanks for the nice, entertaining trip down memory lane - good accompaniment, and your singing is very listenable - very enjoyable - Thanks for sharing

Regards, JF
Posted by: angelojf

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/24/09 06:40 PM

Rick:
That Sam Cooke song is one of my all time favorites, and you did a superb job! THat was the first time I commented on a YouTube video; I'm not sure how to give it stars, but it deserves 10! THanks,
Ang
Posted by: Rickster

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/24/09 09:31 PM

Thanks, John and Ang; and Ang, thanks for comments on YouTube. Yes, I like Sam Cook's “Wonderful World” too. Even though I do know a little about history, geometry, science, geography, trigonometry, algebra, and a slide-rule; of course, I never had French \:D . That is indeed a beautiful love song.

Take care,

Rick
Posted by: Starting Over

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/25/09 08:08 AM

Hey Rickster, you're good man! Forget the goofs on YouTube and their dumb comments about your singing. In addition to what you know about history, geometry etc., you also know something about entertaining. Wish I could sing along with myself. Why is it so much harder than it looks??

Good on you. \:D
Posted by: keyboardklutz

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/25/09 08:17 AM

Is it my imagination or are you sitting up straighter? The singing's great, would pass muster in any bar over here. By the way, I can't resist it - I'm from The South too - South London!
Posted by: Rickster

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/25/09 09:50 AM

Originally posted by Keyboardklutz:
 Quote:
Is it my imagination or are you sitting up straighter?
Now this is the kind of constructive criticism I like to hear…. Yes, I do have a tendency to slump my shoulders while sitting at the piano; and, yes, I’m sitting up straighter in the latest video. My feelings have been removed from my shoulders and they are not so heavy. \:D

Thanks, All!

Rick
Posted by: Peyton

Re: Don’t wear your feelings on your shoulders. - 01/25/09 10:11 AM

Yeehaa! \:\)