Moon's Cry

Posted by: SilverRedSouL

Moon's Cry - 01/08/13 01:10 AM

Hello everyone. Thought I'd share another of my composition again. Here's 'Moon's Cry'. Please do comment smile

https://soundcloud.com/silverredsoul/moons-cry
Posted by: rada

Re: Moon's Cry - 01/08/13 12:13 PM

Hello, I think you have a very nice melodic idea in this piece. Your left hand arpeggiation gets 'muddy' sounding when you get below C3 and are playing in thirds...that's not the best sound on the piano....also you offer some dissonance in this piece that is not convincing to my ear.

rada
Posted by: SilverRedSouL

Re: Moon's Cry - 01/09/13 07:47 AM

Hi rada. Thanks a lot for your advice! Appreciate it smile
Posted by: Steve Chandler

Re: Moon's Cry - 01/11/13 09:48 AM

Originally Posted By: rada
also you offer some dissonance in this piece that is not convincing to my ear.

I hear what you mean by this but it just sounds like one finger hit two notes in one particular phrase. The fact that it was consistent leads me to wonder if it was a mistake. The first time is at :26 where he uses a chromatic tone that should be down a half step to stay diatonic. It happens again at 1:04 and it's the exact same phrase and again at 2:35. Silver if your harmony there is not of the augmented sixth variety then the lower note of that phrase leading to the next chord should be down a half step. To give an example the melody sounds like it goes Db to B to C. That's a very unnatural phrase that would happen only if your harmony used an augmented sixth chord (which it doesn't) so there is dissonance between the B and the rest of the chord sounding at that moment.
Posted by: SilverRedSouL

Re: Moon's Cry - 01/12/13 02:58 AM

Originally Posted By: Steve Chandler
I hear what you mean by this but it just sounds like one finger hit two notes in one particular phrase. The fact that it was consistent leads me to wonder if it was a mistake. The first time is at :26 where he uses a chromatic tone that should be down a half step to stay diatonic. It happens again at 1:04 and it's the exact same phrase and again at 2:35. Silver if your harmony there is not of the augmented sixth variety then the lower note of that phrase leading to the next chord should be down a half step. To give an example the melody sounds like it goes Db to B to C. That's a very unnatural phrase that would happen only if your harmony used an augmented sixth chord (which it doesn't) so there is dissonance between the B and the rest of the chord sounding at that moment.


Points taken. Thanks a lot Steve. I will look into my piece and see what I can do.
Posted by: 1wiki1

Re: Moon's Cry - 01/27/13 03:05 PM

It sounds really good, but I would modify the "main phrase" even more, cause it sounds to me like a one never-ending piece with no "plot", no feeling. It´s just my opinion. But I think it still sounds really good! smile Keep composing! smile