Thank you Sand Tiger, for starting this. I always appreciate learning from others experiences.
I am a beginner. I can't get into all that has led me to wanting to compose. I would write you a book. I don't wish to take over the thread and make it look like Rossy's.
I have started. I'm at the point where I come up with original thoughts. I write them down. Keep them. I have tried to write out the lyrics for music. I can easily come up with the words to fill out the story of the original idea. When I think of different styles, country, pop, jazz, etc. I can come up with so many words that will do that fill in. I have give up expanding those thoughts. I'm sticking right now with good original thoughts.
I'm learning piano. Just a beginner. I know I have the right stuff for music. I did at a young age. Didn't pursue it. I won't write a book about me.
I thank you for the suggestions on books. I have several right now I'm reading and or working in. The first was "Tunesmith" by Jimmy Webb. To answer Jimmy...I write because I have to.
The question put up of "Why do you want to compose".
First... I know that...
If a person composes to impress girls....that will show.
If a person composes to make money....that will show.
If a person composes to be great....that will show.
If a person composes to create a truly great song. Where they are not important. It is the music that is important....it will show.
Now why do I want to compose? It is my war. I have lived a life of being crucified over and over in small ways. I wish to write music that will pierce people's hearts. Get them to pull their heads out. Quit being the demonic little destroyers they are for their selfish, self centered interests. To get through to their hearts that a greater love than selfish love is where they can literally find heaven on earth. I do not wish to write religious music. I wish to write to the masses what will get to their hearts.
I have no wish to profit from this. My unreachable star, my impossible dream, is that when I die. My music be released. It be a masterpiece that does what I intended it to do. Nothing in it for me.
My nightmare is that, when I die, my music goes straight in the trash, and never gets looked at.
I have a small lithograph from an artist I admired. He was really good. He told me. This stuff is nothing. A masterpiece is not created overnight. It takes years. An artist obsesses over the masterpiece. Wakes up at night putting little dabs here and there. He thinks about it constantly. His mind is so distracted by thinking about the masterpiece all the time, that he forgets what he went to the grocery store to buy. It has many coats of paint. Has many changes. Works on it for years...until...it is finished.
EDIT: Did want to add. This artist told me he turns out stuff like I bought to make money. He has to make a living. Yet, every artist has at least one masterpiece he is working on.
There was a young man who didn't particularly care for college. He didn't like the tests, time limits, etc.. When he graduated. He got a job. He made physics his hobby. Yes, hobby. That young man's name was: Albert Einstein.
For 25 years. I couldn't listen to rock music without becoming depressed. Too many bad memories. One song in particular really bugged me bad. Until one day I couldn't take it anymore and started singing that song. The more I sang it, the more I changed it. Until, it has become the song it is now. I am no longer depressed by rock. No problem with it at all. This is one of the things that went into making me think maybe I need to write music.
I have much to learn on piano. I think I have the right stuff. The right stuff to compose music. I can sing real good. Even though that was the last thing in my life I wanted to do. Singing is like standing naked in front of people. Exposing one's heart. Moreso that playing an instrument. To cover that heart in the slightest in singing takes away from it's beauty. It shows.
I think Sand Tiger was interested in what went into my comment on the ABF forum. I've tried to answer in a Readers Digest form as best I could.
Again...thank you as I always appreciate more input.